Title: Lost in the Shadows
Author: Stardrops
Rating: G
Genre: Angst/Romance
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Duh. And I should probably add that
in a later chapter, the idea for the constellations and star spotting was
borrowed from some of "Rigella"'s writing, which everyone should check out.
Chapter Two: Remembering the Summer
Once more, it was midnight, and Draco was in the Hogwarts gardens alone. The day had seemed to drag by in slow motion, as if time was playing with his heart. Classes blurred into one another and breaks smeared into a haze. He could not remember a single thing he'd learnt in classes that day, and did not much care either.
The thought that had occupied his mind for most of the day was the girl he'd seen. Why did she look so familiar? He was sure he'd never seen her before, and she spoke with a strange accent, so he was certain that meant she had recently moved from overseas.
But there was something in her appearance, her walk, and her voice that reminded him of someone. He did not have a clue who she was, but every time he saw her, his heart sort of sank a little.
As soon as everyone else had left for dinner, Draco had disappeared into the grounds alone, hiding from everyone. Crabbe and Goyle had not seemed to notice he'd been missing, and although it still irked him to know that they didn't really care, he did find it comforting to know he didn't have to worry about people searching for him; in case they found him.
He did not want to be found.
He wanted to stay here in the dark where no one could see him, and he wanted to be alone.
Draco held the necklace in his hand again. Undoing the clasp, he held it out in front of him. He could barely make it out, as the clouds covered the moon, making the night darker than before.
As his fingers closed around the cool gold metal, the visions began again. This time he did not try to stop them.
Draco was sitting in a garden. It was not his own garden; it belonged to his best friend, Perseus Summers. They'd been best friends since they'd met in the first grade. Being both pureblood wizards, they'd gotten along very well.
He was ten years old, and Perseus had gone inside the house to get something. Draco looked around while he waited. He loved Perseus's garden. It was always flowering, no matter what season, and since it was huge and covered with trees and shrubbery gardens, it was perfect for playing games.
Perseus walked back over to Draco carrying something shiny and gold in his hand. He held an opened palm out to Draco, and Draco picked up a beautiful gold necklace from it. The star pendant on the end shimmered as though it was covered in glitter. Perseus held another in his hand, which he clasped around his own neck.
"These are memory necklaces," Perseus explained to Draco. "Since we won't always be together with us going to different schools, these will always be a reminder of each other. And as long as we each have one, we'll always be best friends."
Draco smiled and hung it from his neck. The pair of them sparkled in the sunlight.
Perseus raised his gaze to Draco's face. "We'll always be best friends, won't we Draco?"
He reached out to Perseus and the two boys hugged. "Of course we will."
Draco closed his eyes as tears once more rose. They'd only been young, but had already promised each other everlasting friendship.
He'd always worn the necklace, but had hidden it from public view. Perseus always wore his as well, and when they saw each other, it was a mark of them honouring each other that they bore them.
Draco remembered the funeral, the saddest moment of the holidays.
A small crowd of people sat with tissues, blotting their cheeks and noses. Draco himself sat at the back of the outdoors ceremony. A wizard priest dressed in white stood at the front of the congregation. Draco was not even attempting to listen to the words being spoken. All he could do was look at the shining black coffin beside the priest.
As the ceremony neared the end, the priest announced that a family member would sing a song to honour the deceased while the pallbearers carried the coffin out.
A girl got up on the podium and as the music started; her voice was heard prettily ringing out across the graveyard. Draco however was not watching her. He had risen and was on of six boys and men carrying the coffin down the aisle. They placed the coffin on the ground and the priest cast a spell to make the coffin hover above the hole in the ground where it was to be lowered.
Rose petals were handed around to the mourners, and as each person stepped forward to place the petals on the coffin, tears were shed, women crying and sobbing onto each other's shoulders.
Draco stood alone and aloof until everyone else had left except one other person who had their back to him. It was a girl, wearing a pair of black pants with a black top that clung to her thin and frail-looking body. She was standing at the coffin and seemed to be talking down to the earth. Her hair was hidden beneath a black cap with a little black veil that covered her face.
Draco himself was dressed in black out of respect, but the necklace was hung from his neck still, and glimmered in the sun. He grasped the handle of the basket containing his rose petals and waited patiently for the girl to finish paying her respects.
He'd not long to wait. She threw a few handfuls of petals into the ground and then blew a kiss into the coffin before turning slightly, wrapping her arms around her too thin body and walking past the headstone, disappearing into the distance.
Draco watched her leave and wondered who she was. She was the one who'd sung, but they hadn't said how she'd known Perseus. He didn't know Perseus's family, but he knew there wasn't a girlfriend, and that his mother lived overseas a long way away, and Perseus hadn't seen her in years. He'd never talked about his family and always brushed off any questions with brief one word answers.
Taking a deep breath, Draco stepped up. The coffin hovered slightly above the earth, and he watched it silently for a moment. There were no tears behind his eyes, but there was a great ache inside his heart. Watching his best friend being lowered forever into the ground, Draco waited until the box was all the way down to the bottom before he paid his respects.
Holding a handful of pink rose petals in his hand, he released them into the gap in the ground and watched them flutter prettily to rest on top of the casket. Lifting his hand to his necklace, he closed his eyes and whispered to the silent graveyard, "Goodbye, Perseus."
His other hand rose shakily to his lips, and he kissed his fingers lightly before blowing the kiss down to the boy's coffin as the girl had done. His hand slowly fell to his side as he felt a part of him leaving his body, as though a section of his heart was going to join Perseus in the afterlife.
Opening his eyes, he clenched his fists and promised his friend he'd always remember him, and would never forget their friendship. He knew that behind the lid, Perseus was lying with a gold necklace identical to Draco's resting upon his lifeless chest. The memory necklaces.
Somehow Draco didn't think he'd need a necklace to remember his best friend. Even so, he made a pact with himself never to lose the necklace and to always wear it to honour Perseus's memory.
His head turned slightly to the graveyard hall, where he knew the rest of the guests were eating and talking to each other. His father, Lucius, was standing outside the hall with a strange look on his face. Draco could not make out exactly what his father was feeling behind those cold grey eyes. With one last look at his best friend's grave, Draco turned from his father and the other mourners and walked away.
Draco opened his eyes and found, to his surprise that remembering the occasion did not bring tears to his eyes, but rather intensified the ache in his chest that had been there since that night in late August. He didn't think that it could hurt any more than it already did. But he was still glad he'd not cried.
Lucius had been sickening to be around for the rest of the holidays. Draco had spent as much time as possible locked away in his room or wandering about the streets where he lived, but could not escape his father the rest of the time.
At meals, Lucius and Narcissa acted simply as though there was nothing wrong, and as though that night had never happened. Other times, though, Lucius would smile with satisfaction at Draco, as though telling his son not to cross him again.
Draco's insides went cold every time his father smirked like that. He knew his father knew that Perseus was the closest thing to a brother, and the best friend, that Draco had ever had, and it froze his heart to know that his father would kill someone who meant so much to his only son.
But then, it was for Voldemort that his father had killed Perseus anyway. Because Perseus and his father did not believe in Voldemort's ways. Pureblooded wizards that did not follow Voldemort were the first targets for Voldemort nowadays. And Lucius had lured Perseus there one night, and killed him...in front of Draco. The thought still turned his stomach.
He knew his father would disapprove of his friendship with the boy. Draco had first found out Perseus's views of Voldemorts actions, which were not the same as Lucius and Draco stood for. And somehow, though Draco had managed to keep it a secret from his father for nearly five years, Lucius had found out. And informed Voldemort.
That was why the murder had taken place.
Because of a difference in views.
And that was why Draco now felt so confused, because after realising what it felt like to lose someone he loved so much, he realised he did not want to become a Death Eater after all. He did not want to kill people simply because they thought or felt differently to someone else. He didn't want to kill anyone. And somehow, he felt changed inside.
He thought he finally understood what Harry Potter felt like.
But he sometimes thought he was luckier than Harry, because at least he'd gotten to know and love what a wonderful person Perseus was before he'd died.
Harry had never really known his parents.
But at least, Draco mused, Harry had never had to deal with the pain of the memories. Harry had no memories of his parents.
And Draco had a whole lifetime of memories to remember.
* * *
As he sat alone in the dark and the quiet, the moon came out from behind the clouds. In the bright light of the half moon, he saw another figure standing close by him. It was the figure of a girl, who had not seemed to notice he was sitting almost right beside her.
He watched her, and realised with a start that this was Delphine Winters. He recognised the shiny sheet of golden hair that flowed down past her shoulders. Although the moon was bright, he could not make out what her expression was. He saw her clenched hand, and for a split second, he thought he saw something gold flash at him from her palm before the girl turned silently and headed back to the castle.
Draco wondered what that was all about.
It was really starting to bug him. There was something uncannily familiar about that girl, and he didn't know why. She obviously had never met him before because he had a good memory for faces, and always remembered them, especially pretty ones like her.
Shrugging it off, he sat back and watched the moon weave in and out of the clouds.
He was starting to grow accustomed to being alone. Now that the only person he really cared about was gone, he knew he'd have to get used to it.
Staring off into the distance, Draco smiled half-heartedly. Maybe Perseus could see him now, and was watching him. The thought comforted him. Maybe Perseus would always watch over him from wherever he was. Perhaps he was even Draco's guardian angel...As these beautiful thoughts flowed through Draco's mind, he found his spirit lifting slightly. Maybe Perseus wasn't as gone as he'd thought.
Maybe.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
So? Tell me what you think! Please review!
Chapter Two: Remembering the Summer
Once more, it was midnight, and Draco was in the Hogwarts gardens alone. The day had seemed to drag by in slow motion, as if time was playing with his heart. Classes blurred into one another and breaks smeared into a haze. He could not remember a single thing he'd learnt in classes that day, and did not much care either.
The thought that had occupied his mind for most of the day was the girl he'd seen. Why did she look so familiar? He was sure he'd never seen her before, and she spoke with a strange accent, so he was certain that meant she had recently moved from overseas.
But there was something in her appearance, her walk, and her voice that reminded him of someone. He did not have a clue who she was, but every time he saw her, his heart sort of sank a little.
As soon as everyone else had left for dinner, Draco had disappeared into the grounds alone, hiding from everyone. Crabbe and Goyle had not seemed to notice he'd been missing, and although it still irked him to know that they didn't really care, he did find it comforting to know he didn't have to worry about people searching for him; in case they found him.
He did not want to be found.
He wanted to stay here in the dark where no one could see him, and he wanted to be alone.
Draco held the necklace in his hand again. Undoing the clasp, he held it out in front of him. He could barely make it out, as the clouds covered the moon, making the night darker than before.
As his fingers closed around the cool gold metal, the visions began again. This time he did not try to stop them.
Draco was sitting in a garden. It was not his own garden; it belonged to his best friend, Perseus Summers. They'd been best friends since they'd met in the first grade. Being both pureblood wizards, they'd gotten along very well.
He was ten years old, and Perseus had gone inside the house to get something. Draco looked around while he waited. He loved Perseus's garden. It was always flowering, no matter what season, and since it was huge and covered with trees and shrubbery gardens, it was perfect for playing games.
Perseus walked back over to Draco carrying something shiny and gold in his hand. He held an opened palm out to Draco, and Draco picked up a beautiful gold necklace from it. The star pendant on the end shimmered as though it was covered in glitter. Perseus held another in his hand, which he clasped around his own neck.
"These are memory necklaces," Perseus explained to Draco. "Since we won't always be together with us going to different schools, these will always be a reminder of each other. And as long as we each have one, we'll always be best friends."
Draco smiled and hung it from his neck. The pair of them sparkled in the sunlight.
Perseus raised his gaze to Draco's face. "We'll always be best friends, won't we Draco?"
He reached out to Perseus and the two boys hugged. "Of course we will."
Draco closed his eyes as tears once more rose. They'd only been young, but had already promised each other everlasting friendship.
He'd always worn the necklace, but had hidden it from public view. Perseus always wore his as well, and when they saw each other, it was a mark of them honouring each other that they bore them.
Draco remembered the funeral, the saddest moment of the holidays.
A small crowd of people sat with tissues, blotting their cheeks and noses. Draco himself sat at the back of the outdoors ceremony. A wizard priest dressed in white stood at the front of the congregation. Draco was not even attempting to listen to the words being spoken. All he could do was look at the shining black coffin beside the priest.
As the ceremony neared the end, the priest announced that a family member would sing a song to honour the deceased while the pallbearers carried the coffin out.
A girl got up on the podium and as the music started; her voice was heard prettily ringing out across the graveyard. Draco however was not watching her. He had risen and was on of six boys and men carrying the coffin down the aisle. They placed the coffin on the ground and the priest cast a spell to make the coffin hover above the hole in the ground where it was to be lowered.
Rose petals were handed around to the mourners, and as each person stepped forward to place the petals on the coffin, tears were shed, women crying and sobbing onto each other's shoulders.
Draco stood alone and aloof until everyone else had left except one other person who had their back to him. It was a girl, wearing a pair of black pants with a black top that clung to her thin and frail-looking body. She was standing at the coffin and seemed to be talking down to the earth. Her hair was hidden beneath a black cap with a little black veil that covered her face.
Draco himself was dressed in black out of respect, but the necklace was hung from his neck still, and glimmered in the sun. He grasped the handle of the basket containing his rose petals and waited patiently for the girl to finish paying her respects.
He'd not long to wait. She threw a few handfuls of petals into the ground and then blew a kiss into the coffin before turning slightly, wrapping her arms around her too thin body and walking past the headstone, disappearing into the distance.
Draco watched her leave and wondered who she was. She was the one who'd sung, but they hadn't said how she'd known Perseus. He didn't know Perseus's family, but he knew there wasn't a girlfriend, and that his mother lived overseas a long way away, and Perseus hadn't seen her in years. He'd never talked about his family and always brushed off any questions with brief one word answers.
Taking a deep breath, Draco stepped up. The coffin hovered slightly above the earth, and he watched it silently for a moment. There were no tears behind his eyes, but there was a great ache inside his heart. Watching his best friend being lowered forever into the ground, Draco waited until the box was all the way down to the bottom before he paid his respects.
Holding a handful of pink rose petals in his hand, he released them into the gap in the ground and watched them flutter prettily to rest on top of the casket. Lifting his hand to his necklace, he closed his eyes and whispered to the silent graveyard, "Goodbye, Perseus."
His other hand rose shakily to his lips, and he kissed his fingers lightly before blowing the kiss down to the boy's coffin as the girl had done. His hand slowly fell to his side as he felt a part of him leaving his body, as though a section of his heart was going to join Perseus in the afterlife.
Opening his eyes, he clenched his fists and promised his friend he'd always remember him, and would never forget their friendship. He knew that behind the lid, Perseus was lying with a gold necklace identical to Draco's resting upon his lifeless chest. The memory necklaces.
Somehow Draco didn't think he'd need a necklace to remember his best friend. Even so, he made a pact with himself never to lose the necklace and to always wear it to honour Perseus's memory.
His head turned slightly to the graveyard hall, where he knew the rest of the guests were eating and talking to each other. His father, Lucius, was standing outside the hall with a strange look on his face. Draco could not make out exactly what his father was feeling behind those cold grey eyes. With one last look at his best friend's grave, Draco turned from his father and the other mourners and walked away.
Draco opened his eyes and found, to his surprise that remembering the occasion did not bring tears to his eyes, but rather intensified the ache in his chest that had been there since that night in late August. He didn't think that it could hurt any more than it already did. But he was still glad he'd not cried.
Lucius had been sickening to be around for the rest of the holidays. Draco had spent as much time as possible locked away in his room or wandering about the streets where he lived, but could not escape his father the rest of the time.
At meals, Lucius and Narcissa acted simply as though there was nothing wrong, and as though that night had never happened. Other times, though, Lucius would smile with satisfaction at Draco, as though telling his son not to cross him again.
Draco's insides went cold every time his father smirked like that. He knew his father knew that Perseus was the closest thing to a brother, and the best friend, that Draco had ever had, and it froze his heart to know that his father would kill someone who meant so much to his only son.
But then, it was for Voldemort that his father had killed Perseus anyway. Because Perseus and his father did not believe in Voldemort's ways. Pureblooded wizards that did not follow Voldemort were the first targets for Voldemort nowadays. And Lucius had lured Perseus there one night, and killed him...in front of Draco. The thought still turned his stomach.
He knew his father would disapprove of his friendship with the boy. Draco had first found out Perseus's views of Voldemorts actions, which were not the same as Lucius and Draco stood for. And somehow, though Draco had managed to keep it a secret from his father for nearly five years, Lucius had found out. And informed Voldemort.
That was why the murder had taken place.
Because of a difference in views.
And that was why Draco now felt so confused, because after realising what it felt like to lose someone he loved so much, he realised he did not want to become a Death Eater after all. He did not want to kill people simply because they thought or felt differently to someone else. He didn't want to kill anyone. And somehow, he felt changed inside.
He thought he finally understood what Harry Potter felt like.
But he sometimes thought he was luckier than Harry, because at least he'd gotten to know and love what a wonderful person Perseus was before he'd died.
Harry had never really known his parents.
But at least, Draco mused, Harry had never had to deal with the pain of the memories. Harry had no memories of his parents.
And Draco had a whole lifetime of memories to remember.
* * *
As he sat alone in the dark and the quiet, the moon came out from behind the clouds. In the bright light of the half moon, he saw another figure standing close by him. It was the figure of a girl, who had not seemed to notice he was sitting almost right beside her.
He watched her, and realised with a start that this was Delphine Winters. He recognised the shiny sheet of golden hair that flowed down past her shoulders. Although the moon was bright, he could not make out what her expression was. He saw her clenched hand, and for a split second, he thought he saw something gold flash at him from her palm before the girl turned silently and headed back to the castle.
Draco wondered what that was all about.
It was really starting to bug him. There was something uncannily familiar about that girl, and he didn't know why. She obviously had never met him before because he had a good memory for faces, and always remembered them, especially pretty ones like her.
Shrugging it off, he sat back and watched the moon weave in and out of the clouds.
He was starting to grow accustomed to being alone. Now that the only person he really cared about was gone, he knew he'd have to get used to it.
Staring off into the distance, Draco smiled half-heartedly. Maybe Perseus could see him now, and was watching him. The thought comforted him. Maybe Perseus would always watch over him from wherever he was. Perhaps he was even Draco's guardian angel...As these beautiful thoughts flowed through Draco's mind, he found his spirit lifting slightly. Maybe Perseus wasn't as gone as he'd thought.
Maybe.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
So? Tell me what you think! Please review!