hey everyone! here's chapter three. read and review for me, ok? I hope you all enjoy sexual jokes. tell me how funny it is…I personally laughed through the whole thing, but it's cause I was basing it on a true memory of mine…so maybe that's what made it funny to me? oh well.

random announcement: to anyone who reads It's Summer In My Heart by Cimmy and me: we've updated the story and changed the rating, but for whatever reason, fanfiction.net is not showing that it's been updated on the 'Just In' page. you have to go through my fanfiction.net profile to the story link to read the new chapters. sorry about making this random announcement, I just had no other way to tell people then to put it here.

I think that's it. so buckle your seatbelts and hold on to your hats. away we go.

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Chapter 3: The Apple Tree

"What time is it?" Goldberg whined as the Ducks crossed another street.

"I dunno. 9:00-ish," said Portman.

"Why don't you just look at your watch?" Kenny asked.

"Too lazy," Portman replied easily. Kenny looked horrified. How could you be so lazy that you don't even want to move your arm to look at a watch?

"It's 9:05, Goldie," said Fulton, checking his own watch and rolling his eyes.

"Um, Adam, what are you doing?" asked Connie, watching Adam move his pelvis back and forth rather violently.

"Gyrating, Connie, why?" Adam asked, as if this wasn't odd.

Connie just whimpered in response and ran to hide behind Guy. Adam was soon so turned on that he had to hop along with his legs crossed.

"Is it normal to get hot off maple syrup?" Luis asked Julie.

"I don't know," Julie whispered back. "I don't think it is, but I'm not a psychiatrist, so who knows?"

"Excuse me!" Adam exclaimed. He overheard that small exchange. "It's not abnormal! Butter and maple syrup happens to turn me on! Is that such a bad thing!?"

"Yes," Luis said flatly.

"Oh yeah, what's wrong with it?" Adam inquired.

"Dude, you're supposed to get off looking at girls!" Luis exclaimed. "Not pancakes!"

"Alright, children, alright, let's just settle down," Averman said, still carrying Potch with him.

"Well he's getting off on a stuffed kangaroo!" Adam yelled at Luis as he hopped along. "Why isn't that considered abnormal! Plus he's weird anyway!"

"First off, Banks, I'm not actually 'turned on' by Potch. He's just a cool kangaroo. Second, you shouldn't talk about me being weird, as you are the one who's got to hop along with your legs crossed or you'll squirt all over!" Averman defended himself.

Adam was just about to reply when Charlie spoke. "Could you all be quiet and less disgusting? I'm trying to think!"

"About what?" Guy asked.

"I'm trying to self-heal. That guy cracked me in the back of my head with his cane. It really hurt," Charlie whined.

"Oh, poor baby!" Connie squealed, running over to Charlie and rubbing the back of his head.

"OUCH! CONNIE THAT HURTS!" Charlie roared.

"Oh. Sorry," she grinned.

"Hey y'all! How about a snack!?" Dwayne yelled.

"What do you mean, 'a snack'?" Guy asked.

"There's an apple tree!" Dwayne exclaimed, pointing. (Author's Note: are there apple trees in Minnesota? I have no idea. In this story there are. deal.)

"Hey, yeah, an apple before breakfast to hold us over until we get there!" said Kenny. "Good idea, Dwayne!"

Everyone seemed excited about this idea, and walked over to the apple tree. Well, everyone except Adam walked. Adam had a particularly bad boner at the moment, so he hopped with his legs crossed.

"There's a problem," said Russ, pissing on everyone's parade. "We can't reach the apples."

It was true. Even Portman, the tallest, couldn't reach the lowest apples on the tree. (Author's Note: apple trees aren't really that tall or that big. but in this story they are. cope.)

"Dammit!" screamed Julie. "I'm hungry!"

"Don't worry, babe, I'll get you an apple!" Portman said.

Portman ran over to the tree, started to climb it, and the small branches promptly broke and he fell out of the tree on to his back.

"Ouch," he mumbled as he got up.

"Portman, dude, are you ok?" Fulton asked, helping him up.

"Yeah, I think I just broke my spine. I'm great!" Portman moaned jumping up and down.

"If you broke your spine you wouldn't be hopping around like Adam in heat," Guy pointed out.

"Hey!" Adam yelped with his legs crossed.

"True," Portman admitted.

"I'm the lightest," said Connie, grinning at Julie, "I'll climb. Maybe the branches will hold me."

So Connie went to climb the tree. The thin branches gave under her weight too, and she fell out of her the tree, landing on Guy, who was standing ready to catch her.

"Guy! You caught me!" exclaimed Connie.

"I know," said Guy.

"My hero!" Connie shrieked and started kissing him.

They both fell over and continued their make-out session on the ground.

"Get a room," Goldberg said.

"I think I'll give it a try," said Julie, starting to climb the tree.

Of course, the branches snapped under Julie's weight, and she too, fell out of the tree. But Julie, unlike Portman or Connie, didn't fall on her back and didn't need anyone to catch her.

"Wow, Julie!" Russ said. "How'd you land on your feet?"

"Cats always do," she grinned.

"How are we going to get the apples?" asked Charlie.

"I know!" said Averman happily.

Averman ran over and placed Potch under the tree. Just like that, the wind blew, and apples fell out of the tree and each Duck took one. Well, Adam was standing with his legs crossed, so Fulton picked Adam's up and handed it to him. Then he walked away, muttering "I feel sooo unclean…"

"Way to go, Potch!" exclaimed Averman, picking up the stuffed kangaroo.

"Averman, the wind blew," said Charlie.

"It was sooo Potch, Charlie," Averman argued.

Charlie just decided it was best to agree before Averman went off on a tangent. "Fine, it was Potch. Yay Potch! All hail Potch!" Charlie said sarcastically, giving a big, fake bow.

"Hey Charlie?" Averman said.

"Yeah?"

"Don't mock the kangaroo."

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WeBuiltThisCityOnRockAndRoll: Potch can be your knight. You can put him on a coat-of-arms. Well, maybe not. You've gotten me all inspired to see Newsies. I'm just waiting for a ride to the video rental store…and I'm the King of New York. Well, Queen, maybe. Thanks for reviewing. I hope this lives up to expectations.
Cimmy: I know you love Potch. He's the coolest. Thanks for reviewing and being a good friend and a true inspiration. Amazing what insanity inspires *winks* Just kidding, of course. Talk to you soon.
iluvguygermaine00: don't hyperventilate on me! I need you to review! Thanks for that. Talk to you soon. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Bella7: cool. thanks for the compliments. I've had that argument too! I hope you like this chapter just as much.
Jennifer: glad you love it. I'll update as often as I can.
Cake Eater: dude, if you want to marry Potch, that's cool. glad you found it funny…I hope you find this one funny too.
DuckHockey00214496: making people feel special is what I do best. ok, it's not. Glad you do though. Potch Jr.? Oh jeez, I don't think Averman could handle it!