hey everyone, it's been a while since I updated this story. I've wanted to, but I've been so busy with school work! my teachers don't seem to care that I have a life outside of school, and make us get everything in on time, but then when we kids ask for our tests/essays back, they tell us that they have other things to do! bastards! what a freaking double standard!
anyway, here's chapter 7. no exotic butter dance yet, but it's coming soon…by the way, 'penis rape' is based on a real life inside joke, so to me it might be funny, but to you it might be like…'what the hell is she talking about?' but I really hope you like it anyway. read and review!
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Chapter 7: Penis Rape
The rest of the journey through the park passed without much incident. The Ducks had cut three miles out of their trip, as they went through the park instead of around, so this put Luis in a very good mood.
"Yay!" Luis cheered.
"What are you 'yay'-ing about?" a grumpy looking Charlie asked.
"We cut down the distance! Less miles to go! WOOHOO!" Luis cheered.
"I see…" said Charlie, who was watching Banks jump around frantically without talking, waving his arms around desperately trying to get Goldberg's attention.
When he finally did get it, Goldberg looked annoyed. "What do you want, Banks?"
"Can I talk? I have something to say!" Banks asked.
"Um…yeah, I guess, as long as it's not about pancakes or butter or syrup of any type," Goldberg decided.
"I think it would be smart next time if we took a bus," Adam announced.
"Thank you for that insight Adam, we'll let you pay the bus fare," said Guy.
"Why me?" Adam asked, looking wounded by Guy's comment.
"Because you're obviously the richest," said Connie.
"Why am I the richest?" Adam asked.
"Because you have the most money. Remember? You came from the super rich Hawks to the poor District 5 Ducks?" Averman pointed out.
"Oh yeah," Adam mumbled. "I try to forget about that and pretend I've been here since the beginning."
"Oh, Banksie, how sweet of you," said Fulton, feigning over-emotion and throwing himself on Adam, who nearly toppled over under his weight.
"Whoa, dude, off, pain!" Adam yelped. Fulton laughed and heaved himself off Adam, who whimpers a bit.
"Don't be a penis, Banksie," Kenny laughed.
"Don't have a penis? Is having a penis a bad thing? Should I cut mine off or something?" Portman asked looking confused.
"Not 'don't have a penis', Portman! Don't be a penis!" Kenny said.
"Oh, I get it now, never mind," Portman said, smiling as if this cleared everything all up.
"What the hell are you going about, Kenny?" Russ asks.
"Penises," Kenny says matter-of-factly.
"Yeah, but why?"
"Because Adam was being a penis, so I had to tell him not to," Kenny explained. Everyone just accepts this information and shuts up, because they were too confused to ask more questions.
After walking half a block, Dwayne, of all people, asked this question: "What do you think it would be called if a penis got raped?"
"What do you mean if a penis got raped?" Julie asked.
"I mean, if a penis got raped, what would they call it?" Dwayne explained.
"You make it sound like there are giant penises walking around, getting raped right and left," Averman said, sniggering.
"Maybe there are!" Kenny said, jumping up and down. "Maybe there are giant penises getting raped in penis land!"
"Um…I doubt it," said Fulton.
"What do you think it would be called?" Dwayne asked again, tapping Charlie on the shoulder.
"I don't know," Charlie shrugged. "Penis-rape, I guess."
"Penis rape?" Dwayne asked.
"Penis rape," Charlie said.
Adam cracked up laughing.
"What are you laughing at, Cake Eater?" Guy asked.
"Penis rape! I don't know, it's funny!" Adam laughed.
"This is hysterical, coming from someone who…never mind, why bring that up?" Luis said.
"You think penis rape is funny?" Dwayne asked Adam.
"Yes…I…do," Adam was hysterical.
"Why, Banksie, why!? Why do you giggle at this horrible crime!?" Dwayne cried.
"Because it's hilarious," Adam's voice comes between wheezy breaths of laughter.
"Wait, what horrible crime?" Portman asked.
"Penis rape," Dwayne wailed.
"What the hell are you all talking about?" Connie asked. "Penis rape isn't a real crime, Dwayne, you can relax."
"It's not?" Dwayne asked.
"You practically made it up as we walked along," Connie explained.
"Oh, well then, no problems," Dwayne said, and smiled again.
"This is terrible," Averman moaned, "Potch shouldn't have been exposed to this."
"Oh come on, Averman, give him some credit, I think he can handle it," Charlie said.
"But he's so young, and this will scar him for life! I'm such a bad person!" Averman wailed.
"Averman, you're not! It's ok, Potch is brave, he can take it!" Charlie exclaimed.
"You think so?" Averman asked.
"I know it," Charlie nodded.
"Oh good, I'm glad you're so smart, Charlie," Averman threw himself and Potch on Charlie in a huge hug. Charlie laughed.
"Wow, and the Ice-Man laughs. Hell has frozen over, everyone!" Julie smiles.
"Oh quiet, Cat Lady," Charlie says.
"She's right Charlie, you should laugh more," Banks said, finally.
"Oh, what do you know, preppie?" Charlie snapped as his temper rose. It was thing for Julie to tease, it was another for a guy who got hot on maple syrup to tease.
"I know you need an emotional outlet," Adam said.
"Me?" Charlie said. "Me!? I'm not the one who was sent to the school counselor because my math teacher thought I was gay and suicidal, Banksie!"
"I am not gay and suicidal! I told you guys, the cat scratched up my arm!" Adam wailed.
"Sure you're not. Come on, Banks, you're the poster boy for repressed gay guys," Charlie said.
"Why do you say that?" Adam asked.
"Because you're super pale, quiet, introspective, and everything bad almost always happens to you," Charlie said.
"And don't forget about the tight jeans and the crying," Portman pointed out.
"I was thirteen, you bastards! I hate you all! I hope you all die and go to hell! I hate you! Some friends you assholes are, you fucking dickheads!" Adam screamed.
Connie and Guy, who were closest to Adam and his outbursts, backed away. Portman and Julie do the same.
"Hey, Cake Eater, young ears!" Averman yelled, covering Potch's ears.
"Whoa," mumbled Goldberg to Russ, Luis, Dwayne, and Kenny. "Boy seems emotionally and mentally unstable. Maybe we should send him back to the school counselor…"
"You pricks! I hate you!" Adam bellowed.
"Now who needs to laugh more?" Charlie grinned.
"How am I supposed to laugh when you all think I'm gay and suicidal!?" Adam yelled.
"Penis rape," Charlie smiled.
Adam cracked up again.
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Bella7: glad you laughed, kid, hope
you liked this!
Quimby: I've had spoop! It's gross! DISGUSTINGLY DISGUSTING!
Cimmy: I love that Robin Hood cartoon movie! Charlie is stupid, so what does that say about Lex, exactly? *LoL* You're the best co-writer every! Wo0t!
death to all rubix cubes: I like ferrets more than weasels, maybe it's just me?
DuckHockey00214496: Charlie torture is fun. hope you liked this chapter!
Chelsea: I can't even begin to respond to this review, so I'm not going to, but you can use Potch. I have a picture, but it's going to take me some time to get it onto my computer…patience child, that is the key to using the Force…patience…
Flat*Out*Crazy: Charlie torture is sooo much fun. I don't like weasels much either, but I like ferrets. I had guinea pigs once. hope you liked this chapter, cheers!
Stephanie: I'm glad you love it, and I hope you liked this chapter! no exotic butter dance yet, but it's coming soon, I promise…