Chapter 6
A/N: Sorry it took so long for me to update. I've been busy with Midterms and Regents, and I had a lot of Art homework to catch up on. So I'm really really sorry. But to make it up to you this chapter is my longest yet. Yay!! Hope you enjoy!
IMPORTANT: This chapter starts again when Angel wakes up, except this is in Spike's POV. I wanted you to get what Spike was thinking. So if you see that the scene is repeated, that's why. And I didn't rewrite Spike's tiny speech from the last chapter. But it's implied where he says it. So Read now and Enjoy!!!
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Spike's POV
I can feel his hateful eyes on my back as he speaks, "You planning on going back to Sunnydale to starve again. Because you can stay here; I have extra blood."
For a second I swear I heard hope in his voice, but I will not fool myself. That was pity I heard; he feels bad for me. Him and his stupid soul. And I try hard not to turn around to see his face after I tell him I'm going to try the sun this time. His face will change from surprise into a grateful smile that he'll try to hide. But he is fooling himself because I don't even have to look at him to know it's there.
He then stands up to walk next to me, and I try not to look at his face. It'll only make it harder. Then Angel asks a stupid question, "So you were planning on killing yourself?" I guess he just wants to make sure. So I don't satisfy him with the answer, it'll only make him happy.
"Do you mind telling me why?" he asks. It's not like he cares anyway. So I tell him I do mind.
"Can I ask why?" Why won't he just let me leave? He doesn't care about me. So why is he pretending? Maybe it makes him feel better about himself.
So I answer him, "Because it's none of your business. It stopped being your business as soon as you left." I shouldn't have said that. Now he'll find out the real truth. But it's true, no matter how much I wish I belonged to him. That's never going to happen though.
His next question only serves to increase my hurt and anger, "How can I make it up to you?" Well, you could love me back and be with me forever. But since you can't, there's nothing you can do to make it better. So I let my curiosity get the better of me. I mean, what is he doing anyway? What game is he playing?
So I turn to him and ask, "What are you playing at?"
It was a mistake to turn around, because now I can see those eyes of his. He just stares for a second, he seems confused. Did I mention he is a good actor too? Like now, how he pretends to not know what I'm talking about. So I spell it out for him. I actually yell it out for him. I actually yelled it out for him. Now he looks even more surprised. He seems to be an even better actor than me.
He is still trying to make up something to say that won't sound like he hates me. You see Angel, that's impossible. Because no matter what you say or do, I'll always be able to see the hate in your eyes.
I'm going to speak first, I won't give him the chance to hurt me. "Cat got your tongue, Peaches?"
He then grabs me by the shoulders and pushes me towards the wall. "Why do you want to die?" he asked forcefully. His eyes are bleeding into mine and I can't take it. Their so intense, I have to look away. But he forces me to keep eye contact with his burning gaze.
Since I'm going to kill myself anyway, I might as well tell him the truth. I mean, I've already hit rock bottom. What could be worse?
So I harden my gaze and stare right back as I growl, "You."
And there it is again, that surprised look. He is confused and he hates it.
His grip loosens on my shoulders as he asks, "What did I do?"
I growl at his stupidity. I push him off of me and hiss, "You've done everything and yet nothing at all."
And it's true. I'm telling him everything he has and hasn't done, whether he wants to hear it or not.
"Explain it to me, because I still don't get it," he says.
No, he doesn't get it at all. Well, I'm about to explain it to him. You better listen Angel, cause I'm only gonna say this once.
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Angel's POV
I stand there dumbfounded. He saves me from trying to speak when he asks, "Cat got your tongue, Peaches?"
It doesn't help though. He can't hide that he was trying to turn the tables on me. And I won't let him. I said I'd find out and I will, even if I have to force it out of him.
Then I lose it, I grab his shoulders and trap him between me and the wall. "Why do you want to die?" My now golden eyes burn into his slightly widened blue ones. And I silently force him to answer. But what he says surprises me the most.
He hardens his gaze and growls out, "You."
What? I don't understand. I've barely seen my Childe, what have I done recently that could have caused William to starve himself.
"What did I do?" I ask.
He growls at me, then pushes me off. And the words he forces out don't help me any. "You've done everything and yet nothing at all."
I'm beginning to lose me patience again, so I tell him to explain it. Now it looks like he is about to say something really important. In other words, I better listen or I'm gonna miss the little details.
He takes a deep breathe and stares at me intently. "Lets start at the beginning, shall we. First off, remember how you promised you'd never leave me. Broke that didn't you? Then, for over a century, you did nothing at all. But you didn't have to. Everything you did broke my heart. I knew you'd never care for me, but I never knew you thought of me so poorly."
I'm about to interrupt until he broke out into hysterics, "No! You're not allowed to talk! You broke our bond because you couldn't stay connected to something so disgusting. For a century I watched the door, waiting for you to come back. But you never did. Everything I did was for you, I just wanted to make you proud. But it didn't matter, because I'll always be a disappointment to you. Then, when I needed you the most you didn't come. Because you never wanted to. I was all alone, and no one cared. I couldn't defend myself from humans. Even when they were the ones who beat me and stole any money I had. The only thing you saw was a soulless monster getting what he deserved." He stopped to calm himself down.
All I could do was stare and wait for him to finish. Because I hurt him worse then I can even imagine.
"I wanted to starve myself because you hate me. I saw you with Buffy in the graveyard and I just broke down. And I just wanted to die. You'll never love me like you love her. You'll never love me at all, for that matter. All I ever did was love you. And it broke my heart to know all I could do was dream," he finished quietly.
By the end of his speech, he'd broken down into tears. All I could think about was that he loves me. My William loves me! But he doesn't know I feel the same way.
I try to walk towards him to comfort him, but he takes a step back. "No! No! Don't pretend to care!" he yells while he tries to wipe away his river of tears.
He needs to know the truth, that I love him too. I'm gonna need to explain it to him. But he'll have to listen. And from the looks of it, he doesn't seem to want to hear anything I have to say.
This is gonna take a while.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
TBC
A/N: Hoped you liked it. Leave reviews so I know people are still reading this. Bye!!
A/N: Sorry it took so long for me to update. I've been busy with Midterms and Regents, and I had a lot of Art homework to catch up on. So I'm really really sorry. But to make it up to you this chapter is my longest yet. Yay!! Hope you enjoy!
IMPORTANT: This chapter starts again when Angel wakes up, except this is in Spike's POV. I wanted you to get what Spike was thinking. So if you see that the scene is repeated, that's why. And I didn't rewrite Spike's tiny speech from the last chapter. But it's implied where he says it. So Read now and Enjoy!!!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Spike's POV
I can feel his hateful eyes on my back as he speaks, "You planning on going back to Sunnydale to starve again. Because you can stay here; I have extra blood."
For a second I swear I heard hope in his voice, but I will not fool myself. That was pity I heard; he feels bad for me. Him and his stupid soul. And I try hard not to turn around to see his face after I tell him I'm going to try the sun this time. His face will change from surprise into a grateful smile that he'll try to hide. But he is fooling himself because I don't even have to look at him to know it's there.
He then stands up to walk next to me, and I try not to look at his face. It'll only make it harder. Then Angel asks a stupid question, "So you were planning on killing yourself?" I guess he just wants to make sure. So I don't satisfy him with the answer, it'll only make him happy.
"Do you mind telling me why?" he asks. It's not like he cares anyway. So I tell him I do mind.
"Can I ask why?" Why won't he just let me leave? He doesn't care about me. So why is he pretending? Maybe it makes him feel better about himself.
So I answer him, "Because it's none of your business. It stopped being your business as soon as you left." I shouldn't have said that. Now he'll find out the real truth. But it's true, no matter how much I wish I belonged to him. That's never going to happen though.
His next question only serves to increase my hurt and anger, "How can I make it up to you?" Well, you could love me back and be with me forever. But since you can't, there's nothing you can do to make it better. So I let my curiosity get the better of me. I mean, what is he doing anyway? What game is he playing?
So I turn to him and ask, "What are you playing at?"
It was a mistake to turn around, because now I can see those eyes of his. He just stares for a second, he seems confused. Did I mention he is a good actor too? Like now, how he pretends to not know what I'm talking about. So I spell it out for him. I actually yell it out for him. I actually yelled it out for him. Now he looks even more surprised. He seems to be an even better actor than me.
He is still trying to make up something to say that won't sound like he hates me. You see Angel, that's impossible. Because no matter what you say or do, I'll always be able to see the hate in your eyes.
I'm going to speak first, I won't give him the chance to hurt me. "Cat got your tongue, Peaches?"
He then grabs me by the shoulders and pushes me towards the wall. "Why do you want to die?" he asked forcefully. His eyes are bleeding into mine and I can't take it. Their so intense, I have to look away. But he forces me to keep eye contact with his burning gaze.
Since I'm going to kill myself anyway, I might as well tell him the truth. I mean, I've already hit rock bottom. What could be worse?
So I harden my gaze and stare right back as I growl, "You."
And there it is again, that surprised look. He is confused and he hates it.
His grip loosens on my shoulders as he asks, "What did I do?"
I growl at his stupidity. I push him off of me and hiss, "You've done everything and yet nothing at all."
And it's true. I'm telling him everything he has and hasn't done, whether he wants to hear it or not.
"Explain it to me, because I still don't get it," he says.
No, he doesn't get it at all. Well, I'm about to explain it to him. You better listen Angel, cause I'm only gonna say this once.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Angel's POV
I stand there dumbfounded. He saves me from trying to speak when he asks, "Cat got your tongue, Peaches?"
It doesn't help though. He can't hide that he was trying to turn the tables on me. And I won't let him. I said I'd find out and I will, even if I have to force it out of him.
Then I lose it, I grab his shoulders and trap him between me and the wall. "Why do you want to die?" My now golden eyes burn into his slightly widened blue ones. And I silently force him to answer. But what he says surprises me the most.
He hardens his gaze and growls out, "You."
What? I don't understand. I've barely seen my Childe, what have I done recently that could have caused William to starve himself.
"What did I do?" I ask.
He growls at me, then pushes me off. And the words he forces out don't help me any. "You've done everything and yet nothing at all."
I'm beginning to lose me patience again, so I tell him to explain it. Now it looks like he is about to say something really important. In other words, I better listen or I'm gonna miss the little details.
He takes a deep breathe and stares at me intently. "Lets start at the beginning, shall we. First off, remember how you promised you'd never leave me. Broke that didn't you? Then, for over a century, you did nothing at all. But you didn't have to. Everything you did broke my heart. I knew you'd never care for me, but I never knew you thought of me so poorly."
I'm about to interrupt until he broke out into hysterics, "No! You're not allowed to talk! You broke our bond because you couldn't stay connected to something so disgusting. For a century I watched the door, waiting for you to come back. But you never did. Everything I did was for you, I just wanted to make you proud. But it didn't matter, because I'll always be a disappointment to you. Then, when I needed you the most you didn't come. Because you never wanted to. I was all alone, and no one cared. I couldn't defend myself from humans. Even when they were the ones who beat me and stole any money I had. The only thing you saw was a soulless monster getting what he deserved." He stopped to calm himself down.
All I could do was stare and wait for him to finish. Because I hurt him worse then I can even imagine.
"I wanted to starve myself because you hate me. I saw you with Buffy in the graveyard and I just broke down. And I just wanted to die. You'll never love me like you love her. You'll never love me at all, for that matter. All I ever did was love you. And it broke my heart to know all I could do was dream," he finished quietly.
By the end of his speech, he'd broken down into tears. All I could think about was that he loves me. My William loves me! But he doesn't know I feel the same way.
I try to walk towards him to comfort him, but he takes a step back. "No! No! Don't pretend to care!" he yells while he tries to wipe away his river of tears.
He needs to know the truth, that I love him too. I'm gonna need to explain it to him. But he'll have to listen. And from the looks of it, he doesn't seem to want to hear anything I have to say.
This is gonna take a while.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
TBC
A/N: Hoped you liked it. Leave reviews so I know people are still reading this. Bye!!