Quick Story Notes: Hey, been a while, eh? Sorry. I've had writer's block, mostly due to my using any decent idea I've ever had on my school papers. Even this is shorter than I want it be, but it's the best I can do for now. Plus, my life hasn't been funny lately. This isn't based on real life, so I don't know how good it is. Leave me a review and let me know, ok?
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Chapter 8: The Non-Bitching Authority Master
After Adam had calmed down, which had taken a good ten minutes, the Ducks again headed on their way.
"We really should have taken a bus," Goldberg said, as the Ducks were forced to scramble across a big intersection to safety on the other side.
"Oh Goldie," Averman cried, still carrying Potch, "Walking is good for the soul."
"Too much walking is bad for my back," Goldberg complained.
"Just think about the reward, dude," said Fulton. "A nice big stack of golden brown, maple syrup buttery goodness."
"Way to go man," Portman mumbled dropping back to keep away from the cross legged Adam, "you got Banks started again."
"Leave me alone!" Banks wailed.
"This is a problem, buddy, you should get it fixed," Kenny grinned.
"How?" Adam asked.
"I…" Kenny took a dramatic pause, "…don't know…"
"Good advice, partner!" Dwayne said enthusiastically.
"Thanks buddy, I try," Kenny said. Adam looked dumbfounded, but didn't say anything, and just continued hopping along.
"How much further is this place?" Luis asked, casting a weary eye over the group.
"It can't be far now," Guy said. "It just can't be."
"LOOK!" Connie shrieked.
There was a chorus of 'what?' and 'huh?' from the rest of the group.
Connie pointed dramatically at a vampire outfit in a costume shop. Everyone let out a sigh of relief…except for Averman. He nearly wet himself.
"OH MY GOD! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I KNEW THEY WERE REAL! I TOLD YOU ALL! POTCH! SAVE US!" Putting the kangaroo down, he screamed and ran in circles, causing people on the street to turn at stare at the Ducks.
"You just couldn't let it be, could you Connie?" Charlie said, watching Averman run into one of those tall public letter drops for the post office.
"Sorry," Connie grinned.
Grabbing Averman by the shoulders as he ran by, Russ began to push him forward, panting, "Come on, everyone, let's just go…"
"POTCH! SOMEBODY SAVE POTCH!" Averman howled, looking back to where he'd left Potch sitting on the ground. "CHARLIE!"
Charlie looked bewildered, but Julie saved the day.
"Relax, Averman, I'll get him," Julie smiled and walked back to where Potch was sitting. Picking him up, she dusted off his bottom, and carried him back to the rest of the group, who were now making their way down the street, Russ still shoving Averman along.
Averman finally got out of Russ's grip and yanked Potch out of Julie's hands, gave him a big hug, threw his arms around Julie and gave her a big hug, then threw his arms around Fulton and gave him a big, choking hug.
"Dude," Fulton said, trying to escape Averman's death grip, "what are you doing?"
Averman began to sing. "I'd like to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony…"
"Oh jeez," Guy muttered.
To everyone's surprise, Charlie sang the next line. "I'd like to hold it in my arms, and keep it company…"
"Wow, Charlie, didn't know you were such a singing machine," Luis grinned.
"Am not," Charlie flat out lied.
"Are too."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Am not."
"Charlie, for God's sake, it's not a bad thing to be a good singer!" Luis yelled.
"I'm not a good-" Charlie protested again, but Goldberg cut him off.
"Yes, you are."
"Ok," Charlie said quietly and submissively.
"How'd you get him to shut up so easy?" Luis asked Goldberg. Charlie answered instead.
"Goldie's got an authority you just don't bitch against," he grinned.
Averman, now calm again, turned to Portman. "I thought you had the no bitching authority?"
"Me too," Portman said, looking disappointed.
"I thought it was Fulton myself," Connie cut in.
"So did I," Dwayne spoke out loud.
"Personally, I always thought it was Russ. He's the one who can talk trash so fast nobody knows what the hell he's said about their mother's brother's uncle's cousin's dog's best friend, and by the time you have figured it out, he's so far gone you can't catch him to kick the crap out of him," Kenny gushed.
"Thanks buddy," Russ grinned.
"Kenny, man, how could you betray me like this?" Portman wailed.
"What?" Kenny looked confused.
"I made you the little Bash Brother man! I brought you here! And this is how you repay me!?" Portman whined.
Kenny remained looking confused. "Dude, what are you talking about?"
"How could you give Russ the title of 'Non-Bitching Authority Master' and not me!?" Portman wailed.
"Oh stop it, dude," Kenny grinned.
"How could you man?" Portman practically cried.
"Hey, if it means that much to you I'll change my opinion," Kenny said, watching Portman look suicidal.
"Hey what about me!?" Russ shouted.
"Oh come on," Kenny moaned.
"No, my trash talking abilities are better than his!"
"Oh for God's sake, Fulton, you officially get my vote for 'Non-Bitching Authority Master!'" Kenny yelled.
"WHAT!?" Russ and Portman both shouted in disbelief.
"I win again," Fulton grinned.
"I think I'm the best!" Portman yelled.
"I think I'm the best!" Russ hollered.
"Could you two stop shouting?" Charlie begged.
"NO!" Portman and Russ bellowed.
"I think I'm the best, Portman, that's it!" Russ yelled again.
"You know, Charlie said it was me…" Goldberg said thoughtfully, and joined the argument.
The argument raged on, and the other Ducks tuned out as they walked along. Julie was humming a Beatles tune when she heard her name.
"Yeah well, Julie thinks I'm the best! Don't you, Julie!?" Portman demanded.
Julie just rolled her eyes in response, but as she did, she saw a blue and white beacon of hope. "I see an IHOP sign! I see an IHOP sign!" she yelled and jumped up and down.
It was a time of great rejoicing for the Ducks. It had taken way longer than it should have, but they'd done it. They'd finally made it to IHOP.
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Cimmy: the weirdest person you know, eh? I think I'm honored. it's kind of fun. *grins*
Chelsea: use any picture for Potch that you want. my scanner no longer works, and I can't get the picture on the computer. sorry dude. anyway, I hope you like this chapter!
death to all rubix cubes: weasels over ferrets? well, whatever floats your boat. I hope you liked this. cheers.
DuckHockey00214496: glad you didn't ask, it's sort of a complicated story. *grins* I hope you liked this, let me know.
Bella7: Well, I've written more. Sorry it took a long time. I hope it's alright.