It'll probably take several chapters to get to the part where there is actually any pg-13 stuff going on. Sorry but you're gonna have to be patient.

The second I woke, I knew it would be a great day. It was told in the way the birds sang sweetly in the tree outside the window, the way the perfumed covers were so soft they could swallow you up, how the whole castle was utterly silent at 4am. Outside, the day was already dawning, fresh with possibilities. The sun rose through a clear blue sky, shining over the frost laden grounds, rousing the soldiers in their posts.

I turned in my bed and stared up at the rich hangings that bedecked the four-poster. It would be the last time I saw them, I thought happily, in a long time.

A bowl of poridge stood on the bedside table, steaming gently, begging me to eat it in its stupid poridgy voice (ok im not sure why i put that in). As I ate I wondered vaguely how, no matter how early I woke and no matter how sleepless nights I spent staring at it, there was always a bowl of poridge there come morning. After 10 years, I'd decided it was magic and left it at that.

Soldiers were grunting, water swishing noisily as they fished the nights' drowned wombats out of the castle moat. A hum, like a swarm of distant bees, was slowly growing in volume. Soon servants, maids and ladies in waiting would be padding up and down the corridors, making all the noise of mute rabbits.

I slipped out of bed and across the room into my private bathroom. A basin of fresh water was out andI washed, cleanedmy teeth with extra care- goddeses' knew when I'd be washing them again- and had a shower, a cold one. Then I went back into my room, opened the wardrobe and selected a green tunic.

There was a knock at the door.

"Come in."

The door remained shut. Instead, one of the mahogany panels swung open and something like a tennis ball came in. I say 'like' because, unlike a tennis ball, it was glowing faintly, hovering, and had two butterfly wings protruding from its shroud of ethoreal light. Had that glow been removed you would have seen a tiny woman, young in age and naked in....clothes, like a tiny little angel.

I was half naked myself but it was nothing the fairy hadn't seen before. Patiently, she waited untill I was fully clothed and then said, in a voice oozing disgust, "I see your going through with this foolishnes then?".

Ignoring her, I'd turned and was now rumaging in a chest in the corner. With a cry of 'aha', I flourished a green hat and jammed it on my head.

"Yep,"I said. The slight waver of excitement in my voice betrayed me and Navi scowled.

"You're just doing this for fun, aren't you? You do realise your Mother's going to kill you. I do hope you're even thinking of coming back"

Or rather 'I really hope you're NOT coming back but if you dont I'll still have to drag you home by your pointy elf ears'. Navi was great at hidden meanings. She could fit more hidden meaning in per word than an excited english teacher with a poem.

I shrugged. "I'll be back. I mean father will want to see his granddaughters, right?"

Navi glared.

"You will, wont you?!" she demanded. "You'll risk bringing shame on the Royal family of Hyrule just for a night of passion with a...barbarian!"

"Navi, I was joking. Plus it was fathers idea. Go blame him."

She already would have, he knew, over and over, with more repeats per minute than her famous 'lets go to death mountain' saying.

Gingerly, I lifted an ornamental sheild off the wall. It was large, heavy, and made of fur, thus utterly useless as a conventional weapon. As was the ornamental sword. There was no point taking them.

I could use nothing else in the room, I was sure. So I ripped the covers off the bed and began to tear them into strips with my teeth. As soon as I had two strips I tied them together and threw them onto a pile beneath the window.

"What are you doing? You've got to be kidding me?"

Without looking up from his work, I said, "Mother will be waiting for me in the entrance hall. When she cant persuade me she'll use bribery. When bribery doesnt work she'll probably set several guards on me, then the army." I flashed her a quick smile. "And I wouldn't want to hurt anyone on such a fine day."

In a fraction of a second Navi had gone from open-mouthed shock to flying as fast as her wings could carry her out of the door and into the corridor shouting, "He's getting away! Zelda! Zelda! He's getting away!" Wincing theatrically at such open faced betrayal, I looked at his chain of bed sheets. It wasn't long but it would have to do.

Quickly, Itied one end to the bedspread. Then I carried the other end to the window, flung it wide, and threw the chain out.

It fell only about fifty feet, slapping in the sharp breeze against the granite walls of Hyrule castle. Below it stretched another fifty feet before the ground.

I tugged experimantally. The bed stayed solidly where it was soI climbed up onto the window ledge and swung myself over. Then I slid down, hung from the very tip, and dropped.

I had inherited many things offmy father and I was thankfull for them all.Such as the ability to fall extreme distances without breaking my legs. I hit the dirt rolling, turned the roll into a run seamlessly, and hared it away across the wet grounds. The turf was deliciously bouncy beneathmy feet; the air fresh, clear and crisp.

Was I sorry that I was leaving without saying goodbye? No. As far as I was concernedI had said my proper goodbyes last night. I'd made sure of it. If Mother and Father hadn't had the forsight to realise they were actually final goodbyes rather than goodnight goodbyes, well that wasn'tmy problem.

NowI could get away. For a whole year. Guilt free. With the Gerudos.