(A/N: Hello everyone! You know reviews can really make you feel better when you are having a bad day. Thank you so much for those who reviewed, since you did I am writing another chapter and posting right away. This is from Jesse's P.O.V. so if I mess it up I am sorry now. Hope you enjoy!)

Disclaimer: I don't own the Mediator series, I just read them.

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Chapter 5: "Confusion"

(Jesse P.O.V.)

How could she have said that? I cannot believe those words came from her mouth. I mean after what he did to her, after all we have been through. I thought after that second kiss...she said she didn't care about any of that. Of course, how could I have been so blind? She could never love me. I am dead and that is the way it will always be. The only thing I can do is ask Father Dominic to put me out of my misery and send me to the shadow land.

I materialized in his office, but quickly hid myself when I saw him talking to her. I would have left, but my name was mentioned and I thought I deserved to know why.

"Oh hello Susannah, I was just about to call you. I thought since you weren't here something might have happened. Oh and there is the whole matter concerning Jesse." I saw that her eyes began to water. I wanted to comfort her, but I resisted. The priest continued. "Susannah, really, you have brought this upon yourself. I told you it was a bad idea to get involved with a ghost. Jesse told me all about what happened last night between you two and I think what you did was the right thing. I know how much you really care about Jesse, but letting him go is best, for the both of you. But what I want to know is what brought about the sudden change?" I too wanted to know I deserved that at least. What she said next only went to further confuse me.

"I love him. I love Jesse, more than anyone I have ever known, but I don't deserve him. He deserves to live without me, with his family and those who deserve to be loved by him. I have a chance to give Jesse his life back and I am going to take it. After all the pain I have caused him, I at least owe him that." Nombre de Dios! I couldn't understand what I had just heard. Last night I had told her the same thing and it seemed she wanted nothing to do with me. Why couldn't she tell me? What made her push me away? Oh yes, maybe the fact that I am dead! I was angry and I could now feel tears fall from my eyes and burn down my cheek. That had to be the reason. How could she think she doesn't deserve me? If anything I don't deserve her. The only pain I have suffered was the thought that she did not return my love, but she does. It had just occurred to me what else she had said, about giving my life back. More questions filled my mind. How? How could I live with my family? Why would I want to live without her? I couldn't. I wouldn't even exist if it weren't for her.

"What in heavens name are you talking about? How can this be accomplished?" said Father Dominic. That is exactly what I wanted to know.

"Father Dom I have to go. All I know is that it must be done soon, before I change my mind." And without another word, she got up and ran out the door. I moved from where I was hiding to follow her.

"Jesse?" Oh no. The priest saw me. Well there is no time for talk, I had too many questions that needed answering and the only person to do so was getting away. The priest gave me a look that indicated he knew I had heard the whole thing. "Wait, Jesse, she might be doing the right thing. Don't..." I had to leave. I couldn't let him talk me out of stopping her. I still had no idea what she was up to, but I know I needed to set things straight before something happens. As I walked out, I saw her get into a car. I looked to see who was driving, and felt my fists clench. Anger was filling my body. Whatever Susannah was planning, and it involved that (*insert Spanish*) Paul, then it could not be anything good. I still decided to follow her. I need answers and was not going to give up that easily. Querida you have a lot of explaining to do.

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(A/N: Ok I don't know if I did a very good job, but the next chapter will be very interesting I promise (also long so it might take me longer) sorry... but it will be worth it! Also we will return to Suze's P.O.V, um also what are they planning? What will Jesse do to Paul? Read and Review and find out! Thanks)