A/N: Credit for "Redneck Woman" goes to Gretchen Wilson.
-Tonk's POV- (sorta)
After recovering from his shock, Lee stormed over and grabbed the arm of
Narcissa (Tonks in reality.) He then spoke, with a malicious grin pasted on
his face,
"Dumbledore will be wanting to hear about THIS."
"No, wait, Lee, hold on, I can explain...I'm not really Narcissa, these boys aren't really dead...look, it's me, Tonks..." But Lee was distracted by a chocolate muffin, floating in mid-air, and took a bite, and now he looked completely zoned-out. Tonks repeated herself, this time screaming,
" IT'S ME, TONKS!!!!!" But Lee had been one bloody thick son of a gun and finished off the levitating morsel. He fell to the floor and picked up on snoring immediately. Tonks shook her head and muttered to herself, "Honestly..." But she was now glad he was gone, for now she was safe!, she realized. Lee couldn't turn her in.....no, sir! She decided to get back in her room and sleep her hangover off, but just as she was turning around, a new sinister voice said,
"Boy, have I got YOU."
"Oh, give it a REST, Lee! I honestly don't know HOW many times you've used that line, and frankly, I'm not feeling threatened by it anymore....never was in the first place, in fact....." (came Tonks.)
"Well perhaps NOW, Narcissa, it is time to FEEL threatened..." (came...dun, dun, dun...SNAPE!) Tonks whirled around, and now thought about it for the first time- she was standing above three unconcious bodies, it MUST have looked bad! She was ready to explain to him her real situation, but then, out of the blue, Snape sang:
"Victoria's Secret, well their stuff's real nice
But I can buy the same damn thing on a Wal-Mart shelf half price
And still look sexy, just as sexy as those models on TV
No, I don't need no designer tag to make my man want me
Well, you might think I'm trashy, a little too hardcore
But in my neck of the woods I'm just the girl next door
I'm a redneck woman
I ain't no high class broad
I'm just a product of my raising
I say, 'hey y'all' and 'yee-haw'
And I keep my Christmas lights on
On my front porch all year long
And I know all the words to every Tanya Tucker song
So here's to all my sisters out there keeping it country
Let me get a big 'hell yeah' from the redneck girls like me,
HELL YEAH!
(Hell yeah)
HELL YEAH!
(Hell yeah)
I SAID, HELL YEAH!!!" ...Then he was silent for a moment, and dropped over as well. So now, Tonks was standing over FOUR bodies. In the form of her wicked, evil cousin....NOW she knew what she had to do!
"Dumbledore will be wanting to hear about THIS."
"No, wait, Lee, hold on, I can explain...I'm not really Narcissa, these boys aren't really dead...look, it's me, Tonks..." But Lee was distracted by a chocolate muffin, floating in mid-air, and took a bite, and now he looked completely zoned-out. Tonks repeated herself, this time screaming,
" IT'S ME, TONKS!!!!!" But Lee had been one bloody thick son of a gun and finished off the levitating morsel. He fell to the floor and picked up on snoring immediately. Tonks shook her head and muttered to herself, "Honestly..." But she was now glad he was gone, for now she was safe!, she realized. Lee couldn't turn her in.....no, sir! She decided to get back in her room and sleep her hangover off, but just as she was turning around, a new sinister voice said,
"Boy, have I got YOU."
"Oh, give it a REST, Lee! I honestly don't know HOW many times you've used that line, and frankly, I'm not feeling threatened by it anymore....never was in the first place, in fact....." (came Tonks.)
"Well perhaps NOW, Narcissa, it is time to FEEL threatened..." (came...dun, dun, dun...SNAPE!) Tonks whirled around, and now thought about it for the first time- she was standing above three unconcious bodies, it MUST have looked bad! She was ready to explain to him her real situation, but then, out of the blue, Snape sang:
"Victoria's Secret, well their stuff's real nice
But I can buy the same damn thing on a Wal-Mart shelf half price
And still look sexy, just as sexy as those models on TV
No, I don't need no designer tag to make my man want me
Well, you might think I'm trashy, a little too hardcore
But in my neck of the woods I'm just the girl next door
I'm a redneck woman
I ain't no high class broad
I'm just a product of my raising
I say, 'hey y'all' and 'yee-haw'
And I keep my Christmas lights on
On my front porch all year long
And I know all the words to every Tanya Tucker song
So here's to all my sisters out there keeping it country
Let me get a big 'hell yeah' from the redneck girls like me,
HELL YEAH!
(Hell yeah)
HELL YEAH!
(Hell yeah)
I SAID, HELL YEAH!!!" ...Then he was silent for a moment, and dropped over as well. So now, Tonks was standing over FOUR bodies. In the form of her wicked, evil cousin....NOW she knew what she had to do!