A/N: The song was not, unfortunately, written by me. I do not know who sings it, but I give 'em props!
-Week or so later-
"Misses Narcissa Black Malfoy, we have your confessions down of four accounts of attempted murder, and poisoning. Is that correct, you are turning yourself in?"
"Yessir, Mister-" she squinted to read his name badge. "John-the-Wizard-Cop-Guy."
"You realize that crimes of these nature will land you in Alcatraz Prison for a good part of what's left of your meager life?"
"HEY, YALL! YEE-HAW! AZKABAN!"
"....Right then. Come right this way....hold on a second."......(pause)
"Well, what is it? C'mon, I'm ready, let's GO already!"
".....Not so fast. Seems you've got a bit of whiskey on the breath-WHHHEEEEEEEEEW! Okay, a LOT of it. So, drinking and-er, FLYING, counts against you as well. (And I still wonder how you managed to get that household cleaning item-)
"BROOM!"
"-right. to fly. We'll have to get that fingerprinted, and all..."
"Ain't NO-ONE touchin' MY broom!"
"I'm sorry, Misses Malfoy, you have no choice, and unfortunately, (for you), no say in this. Come right this way...." They walk on through large, slimy gates.
"Welcome to Alcatraz Prison, California, Misses Malfoy. Your new home for the next fifty-four years. You have-" he walks to the phone. "-one solitary phone call. May I suggest your husband, if you want bail? Where IS your husband, anyway?"
"AZKABAN! AZKABAN!"
Security Guard walks over to his fellow cop, with a confused look on his face. He whispers,
"Al, this ol' broad seems to be going crazy...first she comes in, FLYIN' ON A BROOMSTICK, if you can beleive, then 'fesses up to all these horrendous crimes, is drunk, nonetheless, calls me a WIZARD, and keeps bringing up someplace, called-AZKABAN. What'd you think it means?"
"I think it means, my poor Muggle friend," said the man, peeling off his rubbery mask. "That you have got to give yourself a nice long holiday along the shores of England. You might even learn how to ride that broom...."
Narcissa walks up to him.
"I agree, Albus." She changes back to her usual form. "If you don't mind me calling you by your first name for just that once, Dumbledore."
"Of course not, Nymphoria."
"Dumbl....Well, you can always call me that. But you and you only!"
"I know, I know." He is smiling, and the guard is dumbfounded. They stun him and take him back with them to England cause' face it, the guy deserves a break!
-On the flight home-
"Professor Dumbledore, I don't understand why we couldn't just apparate..."
"You know the rules, Nymphoria. Apparation overseas is illegal..."
"Yeah! My American dad; so THAT'S why he never visited!"
"Er.......of course that's why!...."
"Professor?"
"Eh?"
"Could you answer me one last thing?"
"Go on, dear."
"Why did we bring this guy over with us?"
"Well, Miss Nymphoria. I would have thought you'd have seen it before, I was simply playing matchmaker. You can't spend all your life alone, and the chemistry between you and this one was clearly obvious! Plus, working long hours at a filthy prison is no work for a human, not even a Muggle. That is strictly Dementor work...poor bloke needed to get away for a few. Just take a trip, m'dear, that's all." Tonks looked away as he said this, nearly colliding with a tree.
"Professor, that's mighty kind of you to think of me that way, but I think I found my match already. Is it-" she sputtered off, not sure if she should finish. "Is it so wrong to be in love with a seventeen-year old student? It's only a seven-year difference, but should it matter? I think he's really the one?" She finished off silently but then cursed herself for demanding love advice of an old man. He just kept that could-be-annoying-at-a-point-smile on his face, and that old twinkle in his eye.
"My dearest Nymphoria, love can never be wrong, as long as you trust in what your heart says." This releived her so! She had been dreading, all this time, that people would not be able to accept the relationship. But he was right, and in her heart she knew it all along. It was just one of those things that she needed to hear from him to accept it. For Dumbledore had been her dearest friend for so long, and the closest thing she had to a responsible parent. Now she knew, she had to get back home, back to Hogwarts, and be with the one she desired such to be with. Suddenly, Dumbledore spoke,
"In which instance we won't be needing HIM anymore-" he made to throw the stunned security guard into the air, and let him fall into the ocean they were now crossing....
"DUMBLEDORE!"
He chuckled. "Just kidding, dear Nymphoria. I promised the man his holiday, by Godric he'll have one." That firmness in her voice told her he meant it.
At last, England was in view. They dropped to the ground, and together Apparated back into their own world, where AZKABAN, not ALCATRAZ, was their prime prison where all the "bad boys" went. As they approached Hogwarts, Tonks thought out loud,
"We really should've let Narcissa be accused...she deserves it, after all..."
"No, no, now. I did what was necessary. Now go do your part." he nearly whispered. She knew what that meant. She would go to Oliver, and if the love they felt so strong right now lasted in the years to come, she would embrace it, and in the years to come, maybe even build her future with him. But who had time to think about long-term stuff right now? For the moment, she was going to live, and as she rushed into the hospital wing to find Oliver cured and conscious, she rushed over to his bedside and threw her arms around him. If this had been his deathbed, or hers, she would have died with the satisfaction that she had finally realized they had to be together. But there was still one thing, her mind told her. She turned to the next bed and gave Lee a long-awaited apology.
'"Lee, sorry I've been such a-" Madam Pomphrey shot her a warning look from across the room. "-a you-know-what lately. I suppose I was just going through one of those stages...but I really would like it if we could be friends?"
Lee thought for a moment and finally replied, "Alright." They too, hugged, but this hug was different, it was a hug of friendship, which was still meaningful nonetheless. They were all rejoicing in a happy reunion when Madam Pomphrey noticed the security guard Dumbledore had been carrying.
"Oh, my! He's had a long flight! Stunned, I see...." She tutted in disappointment at whoever stunned him, and Tonks and Dumbledore exchanged glances for a fleeting moment. When Madam finally had him healed, he woke up, rubbed his eyes, and smiled at her. "Thank you..." he said, and you could see the love in their eyes, and it was clear that neither would have to continue living a life of loneliness. (What could be missing from this pretty picture? Oh!, how about a song?) Snape crawled through the window, standing in the circle of friends and spreading his arms out.
"Normally I'd be disgusted by all these-kind emotions, but today I'm feeling generous." Henceforth, he broke into a chorus of melodic song.
"Early in the morning, risin' to the street
Light me up that cigarette, and i strap shoes on my feet
Got to find a reason, a reason things went wrong
Got to find a reason why my money's all gone
I got a dalmation, and i can still get high
And i can play the guitar like a mother fucking riot
Well, life is (too short), so love the one you got
Cause you might get run over, or you might get shot
Never start no static, i just get it off my chest
Never had to battle with my bullet proof vest
Take a small example, take a ti-ti-tip from me
Take all your money, give it up to charity
Lovin's what i got, it's within my reach
And the sublime style still straight from long beach
It all comes back to you, you're going to get what you deserve
Try and test that, you're bound to get served
Love's what i got, don't start a riot
You feel it when the dance gets hot
Lovin' is what i got - i said, remember that
Lovin' is what i got - now remember that
Lovin' is what i got - i said, remember that
Lovin' is what i got...
I don't cry when my dog runs away
I don't get angry at the bills i have to pay
I don't get angry when my mom smokes pot
Hits the bottle and goes back to the rock
Fuckin' and fightin', it's all the same
Livin' with louie's dog's the only way to stay sane
Let the lovin', let the lovin' come back to me
Lovin' is what i got - i said, remember that
Lovin' is what i got - now remember that
Lovin' is what i got - i said, remember that
Lovin' is what i got, i got, i got..."
Looking around the room, it became clear that there was not a person in the room who didn't agree more.
A/N: Well! It seems I have fans! Thanks to all you readers & reviewers out there. I know "Mimi" requested more....were you thinking along the lines of a sequel, or just another "Crazy-ass story?" Let me know, guys!
-Week or so later-
"Misses Narcissa Black Malfoy, we have your confessions down of four accounts of attempted murder, and poisoning. Is that correct, you are turning yourself in?"
"Yessir, Mister-" she squinted to read his name badge. "John-the-Wizard-Cop-Guy."
"You realize that crimes of these nature will land you in Alcatraz Prison for a good part of what's left of your meager life?"
"HEY, YALL! YEE-HAW! AZKABAN!"
"....Right then. Come right this way....hold on a second."......(pause)
"Well, what is it? C'mon, I'm ready, let's GO already!"
".....Not so fast. Seems you've got a bit of whiskey on the breath-WHHHEEEEEEEEEW! Okay, a LOT of it. So, drinking and-er, FLYING, counts against you as well. (And I still wonder how you managed to get that household cleaning item-)
"BROOM!"
"-right. to fly. We'll have to get that fingerprinted, and all..."
"Ain't NO-ONE touchin' MY broom!"
"I'm sorry, Misses Malfoy, you have no choice, and unfortunately, (for you), no say in this. Come right this way...." They walk on through large, slimy gates.
"Welcome to Alcatraz Prison, California, Misses Malfoy. Your new home for the next fifty-four years. You have-" he walks to the phone. "-one solitary phone call. May I suggest your husband, if you want bail? Where IS your husband, anyway?"
"AZKABAN! AZKABAN!"
Security Guard walks over to his fellow cop, with a confused look on his face. He whispers,
"Al, this ol' broad seems to be going crazy...first she comes in, FLYIN' ON A BROOMSTICK, if you can beleive, then 'fesses up to all these horrendous crimes, is drunk, nonetheless, calls me a WIZARD, and keeps bringing up someplace, called-AZKABAN. What'd you think it means?"
"I think it means, my poor Muggle friend," said the man, peeling off his rubbery mask. "That you have got to give yourself a nice long holiday along the shores of England. You might even learn how to ride that broom...."
Narcissa walks up to him.
"I agree, Albus." She changes back to her usual form. "If you don't mind me calling you by your first name for just that once, Dumbledore."
"Of course not, Nymphoria."
"Dumbl....Well, you can always call me that. But you and you only!"
"I know, I know." He is smiling, and the guard is dumbfounded. They stun him and take him back with them to England cause' face it, the guy deserves a break!
-On the flight home-
"Professor Dumbledore, I don't understand why we couldn't just apparate..."
"You know the rules, Nymphoria. Apparation overseas is illegal..."
"Yeah! My American dad; so THAT'S why he never visited!"
"Er.......of course that's why!...."
"Professor?"
"Eh?"
"Could you answer me one last thing?"
"Go on, dear."
"Why did we bring this guy over with us?"
"Well, Miss Nymphoria. I would have thought you'd have seen it before, I was simply playing matchmaker. You can't spend all your life alone, and the chemistry between you and this one was clearly obvious! Plus, working long hours at a filthy prison is no work for a human, not even a Muggle. That is strictly Dementor work...poor bloke needed to get away for a few. Just take a trip, m'dear, that's all." Tonks looked away as he said this, nearly colliding with a tree.
"Professor, that's mighty kind of you to think of me that way, but I think I found my match already. Is it-" she sputtered off, not sure if she should finish. "Is it so wrong to be in love with a seventeen-year old student? It's only a seven-year difference, but should it matter? I think he's really the one?" She finished off silently but then cursed herself for demanding love advice of an old man. He just kept that could-be-annoying-at-a-point-smile on his face, and that old twinkle in his eye.
"My dearest Nymphoria, love can never be wrong, as long as you trust in what your heart says." This releived her so! She had been dreading, all this time, that people would not be able to accept the relationship. But he was right, and in her heart she knew it all along. It was just one of those things that she needed to hear from him to accept it. For Dumbledore had been her dearest friend for so long, and the closest thing she had to a responsible parent. Now she knew, she had to get back home, back to Hogwarts, and be with the one she desired such to be with. Suddenly, Dumbledore spoke,
"In which instance we won't be needing HIM anymore-" he made to throw the stunned security guard into the air, and let him fall into the ocean they were now crossing....
"DUMBLEDORE!"
He chuckled. "Just kidding, dear Nymphoria. I promised the man his holiday, by Godric he'll have one." That firmness in her voice told her he meant it.
At last, England was in view. They dropped to the ground, and together Apparated back into their own world, where AZKABAN, not ALCATRAZ, was their prime prison where all the "bad boys" went. As they approached Hogwarts, Tonks thought out loud,
"We really should've let Narcissa be accused...she deserves it, after all..."
"No, no, now. I did what was necessary. Now go do your part." he nearly whispered. She knew what that meant. She would go to Oliver, and if the love they felt so strong right now lasted in the years to come, she would embrace it, and in the years to come, maybe even build her future with him. But who had time to think about long-term stuff right now? For the moment, she was going to live, and as she rushed into the hospital wing to find Oliver cured and conscious, she rushed over to his bedside and threw her arms around him. If this had been his deathbed, or hers, she would have died with the satisfaction that she had finally realized they had to be together. But there was still one thing, her mind told her. She turned to the next bed and gave Lee a long-awaited apology.
'"Lee, sorry I've been such a-" Madam Pomphrey shot her a warning look from across the room. "-a you-know-what lately. I suppose I was just going through one of those stages...but I really would like it if we could be friends?"
Lee thought for a moment and finally replied, "Alright." They too, hugged, but this hug was different, it was a hug of friendship, which was still meaningful nonetheless. They were all rejoicing in a happy reunion when Madam Pomphrey noticed the security guard Dumbledore had been carrying.
"Oh, my! He's had a long flight! Stunned, I see...." She tutted in disappointment at whoever stunned him, and Tonks and Dumbledore exchanged glances for a fleeting moment. When Madam finally had him healed, he woke up, rubbed his eyes, and smiled at her. "Thank you..." he said, and you could see the love in their eyes, and it was clear that neither would have to continue living a life of loneliness. (What could be missing from this pretty picture? Oh!, how about a song?) Snape crawled through the window, standing in the circle of friends and spreading his arms out.
"Normally I'd be disgusted by all these-kind emotions, but today I'm feeling generous." Henceforth, he broke into a chorus of melodic song.
"Early in the morning, risin' to the street
Light me up that cigarette, and i strap shoes on my feet
Got to find a reason, a reason things went wrong
Got to find a reason why my money's all gone
I got a dalmation, and i can still get high
And i can play the guitar like a mother fucking riot
Well, life is (too short), so love the one you got
Cause you might get run over, or you might get shot
Never start no static, i just get it off my chest
Never had to battle with my bullet proof vest
Take a small example, take a ti-ti-tip from me
Take all your money, give it up to charity
Lovin's what i got, it's within my reach
And the sublime style still straight from long beach
It all comes back to you, you're going to get what you deserve
Try and test that, you're bound to get served
Love's what i got, don't start a riot
You feel it when the dance gets hot
Lovin' is what i got - i said, remember that
Lovin' is what i got - now remember that
Lovin' is what i got - i said, remember that
Lovin' is what i got...
I don't cry when my dog runs away
I don't get angry at the bills i have to pay
I don't get angry when my mom smokes pot
Hits the bottle and goes back to the rock
Fuckin' and fightin', it's all the same
Livin' with louie's dog's the only way to stay sane
Let the lovin', let the lovin' come back to me
Lovin' is what i got - i said, remember that
Lovin' is what i got - now remember that
Lovin' is what i got - i said, remember that
Lovin' is what i got, i got, i got..."
Looking around the room, it became clear that there was not a person in the room who didn't agree more.
A/N: Well! It seems I have fans! Thanks to all you readers & reviewers out there. I know "Mimi" requested more....were you thinking along the lines of a sequel, or just another "Crazy-ass story?" Let me know, guys!