One Night Stand
Chapter Twelve
Disclaimer: A little bird told me that I owned them but in reality I don't. I'm not making any money off them or this fiction because God knows I could use it.
AN: The song used in the chapter is 'My Immortal' by Evanescence. I would highly recommend going to the official band website; www.evanescence.com and listening to the 'band' version of the song. It is acoustic until the end when the entire band comes in. On a side note, I got to see the video for the song and wow it was amazing.
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all of my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Because your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
"Hello Nick, come on in."
Nick got up from the chair he was sitting in and pushed Grace's stroller into the waiting office.
"Hello Dr. Mason."
"Mitch, Nick. Call me Mitch."
"Sorry, Mitch."
Nick wheeled Grace's stroller over to the chair he would be sitting in.
"So how have you been doing lately Nick?"
Nick sighed and sat down, "I have my good days and my bad days."
"Understandable. How is Grace doing?"
"She's doing well. She has to have some tests done next week."
Mitch sat down in the chair across from Nick, "How do you feel about that?"
"It's hard. These are her year old tests. My daughter is now a year and Sara has been in a coma for a year. It's just so incredibly hard."
Mitch looked over to the sleeping child, "Well I hope this helps when I say this Nick, you have a beautiful daughter."
Nick smiled at the comment, "Thank you."
"So," Dr. Mason continued "You have your good days and your bad days?"
"Yeah. I look at Grace and even with all the difficulties she is facing I feel so blessed to have her, but then I…" Nick trailed off
"You think about Sara?"
"Yeah" Nick paused "I think about the mother of my child who is in a coma. Who doesn't know what her daughter looks like. I just feel so confused sometimes."
"About what Nick?"
"A year ago, I was just another college student. I was going to school, enjoying my life, my major, my friends. Now…now…"
"Now you've been thrown into an adult world and adult responsibility." Dr. Mason supplied
"Yeah, and it's hard for so many reasons."
"Why Nick?"
Nick took a deep breath, "I know that I have doctor patient confidentiality but I still want you to promise me that you won't say anything."
"I understand and I promise."
Nick nodded his thanks before speaking, "It's hard because Sara hid her pregnancy from me."
Mitch allowed the information to sink in before nodding his head, "Continue."
"Well, it was just a huge misunderstanding why Sara didn't tell me. She thought that I had a girlfriend."
"Why would she think that?"
"One of my brothers told a mutual friend of ours, Catherine, that I was dating Kristy, who ironically is now the very same woman who is behind bars for causing the accident that put Sara into her coma."
"How do you feel about Sara not telling you?"
"I was really mad, really mad at first. I yelled at Catherine when she told me. But then she told me that Sara was in an accident and that Grace might die and all my anger just disappeared. I had to save my baby. I knew I had too."
"Does a part of you still feel mad at Sara?" Dr. Mason asked.
Nick leaned back in his chair and thought for a moment. "Yeah, a part of me is still mad at her. I wish I had known sooner. Been there to help her in anyway that I could have. But Sara was very stubborn and persuasive. She actually convinced her entire sorority house not to tell me she was pregnant. Now she's in this coma and she will never know how important she was to me. She will never know what Grace will look like." Nick stated. After a moment realization of what he just said sank in and he clasped his hand over his mouth, "Oh lord, I just said was."
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
"Nick, it's okay. It was just a slip of the tongue." Dr. Mason attempted to reassure the young man.
"How can it be okay? I just spoke like Sara is gone. She isn't gone."
"Nick, have you accepted the possibility that Sara may never wake up?"
Nick looked over to the doctor, shock written over his face, "No, no. Sara will wake up. I've never thought anything other than that. She will. She's a fighter. She's too damn stubborn not to wake up."
"But what if she doesn't Nick?"
"She has too. I love her. I love her too much for her not to wake up. I won't accept that she won't wake up. I love her. I need her. Grace needs her." Nick stated through tears. "I need her."
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
"Nick, you need to be telling Sara this. Tell her every time you visit her that you love her, that you miss her and that you need her. Coma patients who have woken stated that they recollect conversations. Make her remember you."
"I talk to her everyday. I've even taken Grace to see her. Grace of course doesn't understand who Sara is."
"Since you have mentioned Grace again, how do you feel about her prognosis?"
Nick sighed, "It's hard. I just want Grace to have as normal a life as possible and I have to accept that she might not. I have to accept that her Cerebral Palsy might be more than a mild diagnosis."
"Well, what have her doctors told you?"
"All they can say is that Grace is developmentally behind. She is now accomplishing things that a nine month old has. She can't even walk yet, hell she can barely crawl. I don't know….it's all so…." Nick trailed off.
"Frustrating."
"Yeah."
"Nick every parent wants their child to be what society defines as normal, but that can't always be the case. You are going to have to accept Grace's disability, help her and love her."
Doctor Mason finished his statement and then looked down at his watch, "Well Nick, it looks like our time is up for today. Same time next week?"
Nick nodded, getting up from his chair and moving over to Grace's stroller, who was still miraculously still asleep.
"Thank you doctor."
"You're very welcome, have a great week. Go see Sara. Spend time with your daughter."
Nick smiled and headed out of the office and out to his car. He had been so opposed to seeing a therapist but his parents and Sara's parents had insisted that he have an outside source to talk to, a professional. After much persuasion, he finally relented. At first it was extremely tough for him to open up, but he soon found that talking about everything he was feeling was helpful.
He pulled his keys out of his pocket and quickly unlocked the door. He carefully took Grace out of the stroller and placed her in her car seat. He then folded the stroller up, which he promptly put in the trunk. He started the car and a haunting melody drifted through the car as he headed home.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
And though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
Before Nick knew what was happening he had tears streaming down his face. The song spoke volumes to him. He knew, at that moment, that he couldn't give up on Sara. He had to talk to her, tell her how much he truly loved her. How much he truly cared about her. She has to know that she is number one in his life, right beside Grace.
Nick pulled into his assigned parking spot, turned off the engine but allowed the radio to continue playing. He turned to look at Grace.
'She is so beautiful'
A newfound sense of life hit Nick. He couldn't wallow in self pity anymore. He would live his life. He would encourage Sara to come back to it.
For Him.
For Sara.
For Grace.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just so much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me