Humanoid
(ESTABLISHING SHOT – Smarty Mart. DES is stocking shelves while SYD is talking to her)
SYD: And what if JOSH saw me?
DES: So what if he did?
SYD: My reputation would be ruined!
DES: What reputation?
SYD: The one that I...(her claws grow out and accidentally slice one of the rungs on the ladder that DES is on)
DES: (glares)
SYD: Whoops....
DES: So how're you gonna hide it from everyone else at school?
SYD: DES, I'm a panther, not pregnant.
DES: (Oozing with sarcasm) Like that's a whole lot better.
SYD: How do you know it won't just stay like this?
DES: Look at your nose. (hands SYD a mirror. Her entire face and her neck resembles that of a panther. SYD screams)
SYD: What am I gonna do?!
DES: Well...hoodies are on sale in Aisle 40.
SYD: (glares)
DES: I was being serious!
(Later, SYD is full-panther, laying on the couch. JESSIE walks in)
JESSIE: ...She's a panther, yet she still has the same LAZY MENTALITY!
SYD: (actually talking) Shut up.
JESSIE: (glares)
SYD: Whaaaaaat?!
(Cut to the house the next day. JESSIE is talking to SYD)
JESSIE: SYD, will you get the mail, please?
SYD: (nods) Sure.
(SYD walks outside, towards the mail box. She flips through the mail)
SYD: Bills, bills, fan mail, sicko fan mail, bills, 'you may have won a million dollars', (comes across a blank DVD), crappy ISP disk...
(Beat)
SYD: (reading) 'S060787 AND D060787B PROJECT INFORMATION – URGENT.' Holy he-...(pauses in mid-sentence, notices JESSIE) Halibut!
(SYD walks inside)
JESSIE: You know what to do if that's another AOL disk.
SYD: (monotone) I know, I know. 'AOL disks plus fireplaces equals entertainment'.
JESSIE: So you do pay attention to what I tell you. Good.
SYD: It's not an AOL disk, it's a DVD.
JESSIE: Oh. You gonna watch it?
SYD: ...That question means 'I'm watching it with you,' doesn't it?
JESSIE: Pretty much, yeah. (nods)
(Later. SYD, DES, and JESSIE are watching the DVD)
SCIENTIST: Seventeen years ago, my young daughter died in her infancy.
SYD: (sarcastic) Yes, we enjoy hearing all about your sad, pathetic exis-
(JESSIE hits SYD upside the head)
SCIENTIST: (continuing) I had hoped...hoped that through science I could get her back.
SYD: Well if this doesn't scream soap opera.
JESSIE: (Sighs, walks out of the room, and comes back a few minutes later, holding a roll of masking tape. She unrolls a bit of tape)
SYD: (blinks and shuts up)
SCIENTIST: I very much regret my failure...however, in June 1987, we were able to successfully clone two females.
SYD: (to DES) Us.
DES: (rolls eyes) Quit stating the obvious!
SCIENTIST: There were various stages where the two would be released from hypersleep, only to have their memories erased. Last year, DOCTOR DRAKKEN and SHEGO, whose DNA samples were taken to further develop the twins, escaped from prison, resulting in the permanent activation of S060787 and D060787B.
(The DVD ends)
SYD: Whoa...
DES: I don't believe this.
SYD: What? The movie?
DES: No. AUNT JESSIE fainted.
SYD: That's a first.
DES: What should I do?
SYD: Meh....just leave her there.
(Later, SYD is sleeping, tossing and turning.)
SYD: No, please! Not again!
(Flash to her dream. SYD is now thirteen, a bit shorter than she is now, and her hair is even shorter, cropped down to her shoulderblades and with purple and orange streaks in random places. She is wearing an Evanescence T-shirt. A small BOY runs up to her)
BOY: SYDY! SYDY!
(SYD picks the BOY up)
SYD: Are you okay, BRIAN?
BRIAN: I...I can't find my mommy!
SYD: Hang on, we're gonna page her, okay?
BRIAN: (nods)
SYD: Help yourself to my bookbag, there's a bag of Lay's chips in there.
BRIAN: (rummages through SYD'S bookbag) Found it!
SYD: (Grins) Okay. (through PA) AGENT DOWNS, please report to the front desk. AGENT DOWNS to the front desk. Thank you.
(A few months later. Alarm flaxons are going off. SYD is sleeping in a hammock, wearing an army helmet, SWAT gear, and wielding a rifle.)
SYD: (falling out of said hammock) Stupid alarms! Stupid, stupid, stupid!
(SYD rushes OC. She comes back, pulling on a boot, hopping on her other foot)
SYD: Hope I'm not late again...
(Cut to the FBI headquarters lobby. PROFESSOR DEMENTOR stands, ordering his henchmen around. SYD hides behind a filing cabinet)
DEMENTOR: I want PROJECT S060787 brought to me ALIVE!
(SYD gasps; she knows whoever's there knows about her.)
HENCHMAN 1: What's that, over there? (points to SYD's direction)
DEMENTOR: (sighs) I'll check it out.
SYD: (thinking) I've been caught...
DEMENTOR: (spotting SYD) Hello. And who might you be? Oh, I know. You're that experiment everyone's talking about. (injects SYD with something)
(ESTABLISHING SHOT – Smarty Mart. DES is stocking shelves while SYD is talking to her)
SYD: And what if JOSH saw me?
DES: So what if he did?
SYD: My reputation would be ruined!
DES: What reputation?
SYD: The one that I...(her claws grow out and accidentally slice one of the rungs on the ladder that DES is on)
DES: (glares)
SYD: Whoops....
DES: So how're you gonna hide it from everyone else at school?
SYD: DES, I'm a panther, not pregnant.
DES: (Oozing with sarcasm) Like that's a whole lot better.
SYD: How do you know it won't just stay like this?
DES: Look at your nose. (hands SYD a mirror. Her entire face and her neck resembles that of a panther. SYD screams)
SYD: What am I gonna do?!
DES: Well...hoodies are on sale in Aisle 40.
SYD: (glares)
DES: I was being serious!
(Later, SYD is full-panther, laying on the couch. JESSIE walks in)
JESSIE: ...She's a panther, yet she still has the same LAZY MENTALITY!
SYD: (actually talking) Shut up.
JESSIE: (glares)
SYD: Whaaaaaat?!
(Cut to the house the next day. JESSIE is talking to SYD)
JESSIE: SYD, will you get the mail, please?
SYD: (nods) Sure.
(SYD walks outside, towards the mail box. She flips through the mail)
SYD: Bills, bills, fan mail, sicko fan mail, bills, 'you may have won a million dollars', (comes across a blank DVD), crappy ISP disk...
(Beat)
SYD: (reading) 'S060787 AND D060787B PROJECT INFORMATION – URGENT.' Holy he-...(pauses in mid-sentence, notices JESSIE) Halibut!
(SYD walks inside)
JESSIE: You know what to do if that's another AOL disk.
SYD: (monotone) I know, I know. 'AOL disks plus fireplaces equals entertainment'.
JESSIE: So you do pay attention to what I tell you. Good.
SYD: It's not an AOL disk, it's a DVD.
JESSIE: Oh. You gonna watch it?
SYD: ...That question means 'I'm watching it with you,' doesn't it?
JESSIE: Pretty much, yeah. (nods)
(Later. SYD, DES, and JESSIE are watching the DVD)
SCIENTIST: Seventeen years ago, my young daughter died in her infancy.
SYD: (sarcastic) Yes, we enjoy hearing all about your sad, pathetic exis-
(JESSIE hits SYD upside the head)
SCIENTIST: (continuing) I had hoped...hoped that through science I could get her back.
SYD: Well if this doesn't scream soap opera.
JESSIE: (Sighs, walks out of the room, and comes back a few minutes later, holding a roll of masking tape. She unrolls a bit of tape)
SYD: (blinks and shuts up)
SCIENTIST: I very much regret my failure...however, in June 1987, we were able to successfully clone two females.
SYD: (to DES) Us.
DES: (rolls eyes) Quit stating the obvious!
SCIENTIST: There were various stages where the two would be released from hypersleep, only to have their memories erased. Last year, DOCTOR DRAKKEN and SHEGO, whose DNA samples were taken to further develop the twins, escaped from prison, resulting in the permanent activation of S060787 and D060787B.
(The DVD ends)
SYD: Whoa...
DES: I don't believe this.
SYD: What? The movie?
DES: No. AUNT JESSIE fainted.
SYD: That's a first.
DES: What should I do?
SYD: Meh....just leave her there.
(Later, SYD is sleeping, tossing and turning.)
SYD: No, please! Not again!
(Flash to her dream. SYD is now thirteen, a bit shorter than she is now, and her hair is even shorter, cropped down to her shoulderblades and with purple and orange streaks in random places. She is wearing an Evanescence T-shirt. A small BOY runs up to her)
BOY: SYDY! SYDY!
(SYD picks the BOY up)
SYD: Are you okay, BRIAN?
BRIAN: I...I can't find my mommy!
SYD: Hang on, we're gonna page her, okay?
BRIAN: (nods)
SYD: Help yourself to my bookbag, there's a bag of Lay's chips in there.
BRIAN: (rummages through SYD'S bookbag) Found it!
SYD: (Grins) Okay. (through PA) AGENT DOWNS, please report to the front desk. AGENT DOWNS to the front desk. Thank you.
(A few months later. Alarm flaxons are going off. SYD is sleeping in a hammock, wearing an army helmet, SWAT gear, and wielding a rifle.)
SYD: (falling out of said hammock) Stupid alarms! Stupid, stupid, stupid!
(SYD rushes OC. She comes back, pulling on a boot, hopping on her other foot)
SYD: Hope I'm not late again...
(Cut to the FBI headquarters lobby. PROFESSOR DEMENTOR stands, ordering his henchmen around. SYD hides behind a filing cabinet)
DEMENTOR: I want PROJECT S060787 brought to me ALIVE!
(SYD gasps; she knows whoever's there knows about her.)
HENCHMAN 1: What's that, over there? (points to SYD's direction)
DEMENTOR: (sighs) I'll check it out.
SYD: (thinking) I've been caught...
DEMENTOR: (spotting SYD) Hello. And who might you be? Oh, I know. You're that experiment everyone's talking about. (injects SYD with something)