The Final Abyss to the Past
(Based on a true story.)
Cloud floated placidly in a sea of blackness. He wondered how long he had been there, passing in and out of consciousness and drifting: perhaps, perhaps not. He wasn't entirely sure that he was moving, or if such a thing as movement even existed here. He had actually wondered from time to time where 'here' was. It really didn't seem to be anywhere in particular, and his last memory was extremely blurred and vague: There had been evil laughter, and many innocent people had died… He remembered a voice, with a hard edge much like his, screaming for the killing to stop. He didn't know how long ago that had been though. It seemed like years; maybe even centuries. There had been other people with him. He remembered that. One in particular… a woman with long dark hair and large brown eyes. The thought of her felt warm and familiar.
"Tifa?" Cloud mouthed the name silently. A chocobo floated by; kicking its legs as if it were swimming. Cloud looked at the chocobo for a moment, struggling for a reasonable explanation. This was the first thing that he had seen in god only knew how long. Finding no reasonable explanation, he shrugged nonchalantly.
The chocobo paused for a moment, turned its head to Cloud and let out a loud "Wark!". Then, kicking its legs again, floated, or swam in an upward direction until it was out of sight.
Cloud sighed. "This place doesn't make any sense." He said to the blackness
It was as if the passing of the chocobo had broken the dam. A film reel floated past; the words 'Game Over," hovering holographically over it. His sword; a long heavy cleaver-like weapon, spun through the air, burying itself deep in a spot of ground, which appeared beneath his feet to accommodate it. He suddenly felt gravity return to him, and he stood on the small patch of ground looking around. Two more chocobos floated by, followed closely by a moogle, which was merrily tooting a flugel horn.
The blackness turned slowly into myriad of swirling colors, which smoothly transitioned into a sickening green and yellow plaid.
Cloud picked up his sword. "At least things are starting to make a little more sense." He said quietly to himself. As he spoke, his words formed into small cakes, one in the shape of each letter. He gazed quizzically at the forty-six letter-shaped cakes, which now floated in front of him, and formed the words he had just spoken.
A small projection screen appeared above the floating cakes amid a puff of smoke, and Cloud heard the sound of an old projector start up behind him. The screen began counting down and upon reaching one, flashed white for a moment, then switched to a sweeping overview of the city of Midgar. After circling in wide arcs around the city once or twice the camera dove inwards, sweeping low over the city streets, then, soaring up the side of the Shinra building. Reaching and surpassing the top of the building, the camera stopped and hung suspended for a moment, showing an image of heavy swirling clouds, before turning back towards the ground and freefalling into the huge spotlight on the top of the building. The screen went white for a moment, then words in simple black text faded in, with an arrow pointing down toward the still-hovering cakes. The words on the screen read, "Your words." The screen went white again then a black smiley-face appeared in the center of the screen, with the words, "Eat them," beneath it. Cloud looked at the screen and shook his head. He could feel a headache coming on.
The screen suddenly burst into flames. The cakes fell to the ground. The ground beneath Cloud's feet disappeared and he felt himself falling, then slowing, and finally he was floating again. The colors disappeared and everything was, once again, a sea of blackness. Cloud gripped his head as it exploded into a mass of agony. He felt as if his mind was coming apart; splitting, being pulled in two directions. He felt his consciousness fading away.
"Cloud…"
The voice sounded far away and unfamiliar.
"Cloud…"
It was more insistent this time. He wanted whoever it was to just go away.
"Cloud!"
It was a woman's voice. His mother maybe: nagging.
"Cloud, snap out of it!"
He felt the shattering impact of an all-too-hard slap on his cheek. His eyes snapped open. He was still in the sea of blackness, but there was ground underfoot now. Black ground, but ground nonetheless, and now Tifa was standing in front of him; her slender, but well-rounded body in the process of recoiling to slap him again. Her arm swung out in a vicious arc, rising to a shattering velocity as she threw all of her weight into the effort.
Cloud casually raised his hand, catching her wrist on the back of his hand and narrowly halting her strike.
Tifa looked surprised, and took a step backward.
"Cloud, what just happened?" she asked confusedly.
"Where was I?" Cloud asked; equally confused.
"What are you talking about? You just zoned out for a few seconds, I thought you were about to freak out again."
Cloud shrugged, then looked up:
"Who the hell is that?"
Cid Highwind walked up behind Cloud and put a callused hand his shoulder. "For the last time, Cloud: That's Mr. Gonzo. He's the writer of this $#% freak show." He said, past a cigarette, gripped tightly between gritted teeth. "I think he looks kind of like Andross from StarFoxä, but nobody seems to agree with me."
"What are you talking about?" Cloud asked, becoming increasingly confused.
"Naw, I agree with you, Cid," said a young man with a tattooed face and spiky blonde hair. He made an obscene gesture at Mr. Gonzo, and walked over to stand next to Cid.
"Well, I kind of agree, but the mustache completely throws the whole thing off," said a young woman, with black hair and a blue dress with angel wings printed on the back.
A young man with stylish blonde hair, wearing a long gray coat with red crosses on the sleeves walked up in a stately, proud manner, and said, "I really hate to agree with Zell here, but he really does look like Andross from StarFox
The rest of the people, who apparently didn't agree, all shrugged in unison, as the tattooed young man looked up at the blonde haired young man, "Seifer, #$&!!" He made the same obscene gesture, which he had used for Mr. Gonzo.
Seifer shrugged casually. "At any rate," he said in an equally casual voice, "I don't really think that…" He was cut off sharply, as a ball of fire shot through the air and slammed into his side with a sickening impact. He braced himself at the last instant, but still slid a couple of feet and barely maintained his balance. He looked; enraged, at the source of the fireball: A young man, about the same age, running forward with a strange sword drawn.
"Squall, you bitch," Seifer yelled at the top of his lungs, "leave the rivalries in the goddamn game, would you?" Seifer drew his own strange blade. Leveling the blade at arm's length, pointed directly at Squall's head. He pulled the trigger…
Cloud shook his head, now completely confused. The sword fired as if it were a gun, and Squall fell forward, splashing blood on the inky black ground; a perfectly placed hole in the center of his forehead.
"Wait!" Mr. Gonzo screamed, in a rumbling, yet high-pitched shriek. "That's not how it's supposed to go!"
The pool of blood on the ground started to well back up around Squall's forehead, and the exit wound at the base of his skull began closing again.
"He will remain unconscious. He is no longer in this part of this fic." Mr. Gonzo said, his voice now deep an ominous.
Cloud looked around himself, for the first time taking in his surroundings, as it were. Aside from the people he had already noticed, and not surprisingly everyone who he had traveled with; there was a tall young man in a cowboy hat, who was talking to a young woman in a short summer dress. There was another young woman who looked very much like Aeris, and standing next to her was Aeris.
Cloud stood for a moment, stunned. Aeris was supposed to be dead.
"Aeris is alive," he said softly, in a dream-like voice.
Cid clapped his hand over his eyes, and hung his head. "Cloud, we've been over this three #%&$ times already, this fic."
"What are you talking about?" Cloud asked; he was getting angry now, "What the hell is a fic?"
"God, Cloud," Tifa said, now with a hint of exasperation in her voice, "you and your amnesia." She shook her head, "You know, the first few times it was kind of sexy, but now it's just getting ridiculous. I mean, how long have we been working the fan-fic racket for God's sake?"
Cloud was about to speak, but was cut off when Mr. Gonzo started yelling again:
"Would you all, stop ruining my story? Please!!!"
Cloud stopped and hung his shoulders. His head was starting to hurt again: This wasn't good.
"Now, if we can continue!" Mr. Gonzo screamed insanely. He snapped the fingers on his disembodied hand loudly. "Que Sephiroth music!" He shrieked.
Music started playing somewhere, though no source was apparent. The music seemed oddly familiar to Cloud, though he was almost sure that he had never heard it before.
Suddenly, Cloud's heart jumped into his throat; Sephiroth appeared out of the blackness. Mr. Gonzo began laughing evilly. "Now go by the script, or I'll make you all die!"
"But you realize, this means that…" Tifa said apprehensively; she paused for a moment.
Cloud looked at Tifa with his eyebrows raised, "What… means what?" he asked.
"Shhh. Cloud, we're going by the script now. We skipped a whole part because you weren't getting it." Tifa answered quietly, through her teeth.
Mr. Gonzo laughed evilly again. Out of thin air, four average but rugged looking men appeared between Mr. Gonzo and Cloud. "That's the end of that chapter," they said in unison.
Cloud opened his mouth to speak, but it was as if Cid spoke for him:
"Who the %$# are you guys?"
"Sorry… We'll go now." The four men said, again in unison. They disappeared as quickly as they had appeared, each in a puff of smoke.
Cloud shook his head. Things were making less and less sense. He looked back up at Sephiroth and started to reach for his sword. At the same moment, Sephiroth reached under his coat and pulled out a strange shriveled head: "Jenovamon, GO!" he shouted, and sent the head, thundering through the air at Cloud.
Cloud had no time to react. The head streaked in and struck him in the chest. It bounced harmlessly off of his chest and landed on the ground with a dull thud.
"Damn, it's a dud." Sephiroth said, disappointedly.
Cloud stood, looking at the head and wondering what had just happened. He looked up at Sephiroth then back to the head, which sat, grinning up at him repugnantly.
There was a moment of silence. Sephiroth floated gently to the ground and stood as if he were waiting for something. Nobody spoke or acted.
Tifa nudged Cloud with her elbow: "Psst, Cloud, deliver your line," she said, almost inaudibly. Cloud looked at her helplessly.
"'Summon Knights of the Round'" she said, in a tone almost below a whisper.
Cloud looked up at Sephiroth again, and, not knowing what else to do, said in a faltering voice, "Summon Knights of the Round."
Twelve heavily armored knights on horseback appeared in a circle surrounding Sephiroth.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, HELP ME, HELP ME." Sephiroth screamed at the top of his lungs, in a high falsetto. Cloud looked around, this had gone from confusing to just plain disturbing.
The knights began attacking one at a time, disappearing as they attacked. Sephiroth kept screaming and started running around, dodging the knights.
When the attack was complete, Sephiroth stood up; his shoulders hunched, and started crying.
Cloud's mouth dropped open, this was so creepy that he wanted to cry.
"Nobody understands me," Sephiroth said tearfully, but in a loud theatre voice, "everybody is scared of me, everybody hates me, everyone tries to kill me…" he paused for dramatic effect, "All I want is a little love." He started weeping again, and fell to his knees piteously.
Jenova appeared out of the darkness, she was as Cloud last remembered her: The upper body of a woman, but hideously twisted and distorted, her lower body, like that of a queen ant, enormous and bulbous. Tentacles sprang from her bulbous body, and her flesh was pink and raw.
Cloud reached again for his sword, but Tifa put her hand on his chest, holding him back.
"Wait," she whispered out of the corner of her mouth. "it's not time yet."
Jenova spoke in a deep rasping voice: "… Snarl… hack-hack… Don't make… Snarl… my baby boy… grr-cry… ack!" She floated through the air, and took Sephiroth up in her tentacles, holding him close to her raw, oozing flesh. Sephiroth snuggled his head between Jenova's misshapen breasts. The eye on her right breast looked at him fawningly.
Sephiroth looked sadly back at the eye; "Mother," he sniffed wretchedly, "they were mean to me." He said, with a slight hic-cough.
Cloud looked away. He felt like he was going to be sick. Off to his left, he saw Squall stand up slowly, rubbing his head. Squall walked over to Seifer and whispered something in his ear. Seifer whispered something back, and Squall nodded.
Mr. Gonzo yelled, "Start the Jenova music!"
The music in the background changed and Jenova put Sephiroth down on the ground and lurched protectively over him. "Ack… ack… rrr… hack… hack…!" she screamed incoherently.
Squall stepped forward and yelled, "Me and my friends are here to! Why don't we get to do anything?"
Cloud didn't understand what Squall was talking about. Him and his friends could do whatever they wanted. It would actually be better if they did.
Jenova screamed, "Snarl… ack… poo… ack… drrr… dree… ahhhh… shut-up… ACK-ACK-ACK!"
Cloud felt very dizzy. His world spun around, and around; his vision became a whirlpool of color, then, nothing but blackness. Everything came slowly back into focus, and he was standing alone, facing Jenova. He tried to yell, "What the hell is going on?" but his mouth wouldn't move. He tried to reach for his sword, but quickly realized that his hands, which were holding nothing but a bowl of rice would not move. He tried to drop the bowl of rice and run forward to attack. Instead, he felt his body move against his will: He picked up a handful of rice and threw it at Jenova. The rice streaked though the air, and hit her. She recoiled, and a holographic looking 5 rose from her body.
Cloud tried to move out of the way, as Jenova reached out with one of her tentacles, but his body wouldn't move. She grabbed him painfully around the neck and picked him up, then, after shaking him briefly, dropped him heavily in the same spot in which he had been standing. Cloud felt as if his eyes were going to burst out of his head. He tried to recover his breath and orient himself, but, before he knew what he was doing, he had taken a handful of rice and shoved it into his mouth. A green holographic '501' floated up in front of his face.
Jenova lurched forward, and Cloud felt a searing pain in his chest. He tried again to drop the bowl of rice. He just wanted to fight; he didn't know what the hell was going on. He couldn't help himself: He picked up another handful of rice and threw it. The same 5 rose from Jenova's body.
Jenova lurched forward again, this time swinging a tentacle limply through the air. Cloud was almost sure that she had missed, but again, he felt the same searing pain across his face.
Suddenly, Cloud's mind was consumed by brightly colored text: "Limit Break" He tried to shake the image away, but felt himself throwing the bowl of rice instead. The bowl of rice struck Jenova, causing another holographic number to float up from her body, this time however the number was 9999.
Jenova turned an obnoxious bright red and faded slowly into darkness.
Cloud felt himself stand up straight and move his hand as if he were spinning a sword and putting it on his back.
Everything was darkness again. Then everything faded back into view, and he was standing where he had been, next to Tifa and Cid.
Jenova was where she had been, floating over Sephiroth. Sephiroth stood up slowly, and took Jenova's tentacle in his arm. A sunset appeared on the horizon, and they began walking toward it. The sunset disappeared. Jenova and Sephiroth continued walking, until they had faded away into blackness.
"Somebody tell me what the hell just happened?" Cloud shouted, at the top of his lungs.
The four men, who had appeared before, appeared again. This time they said, "That's the end of that…" then disappeared, just as they had before.
Cloud stood for a moment, dumbfounded. Everyone around him stood as if waiting for him to speak. Cloud looked from waiting face, to waiting face. Finally Squall broke the silence: "Cloud, it's your line!" He shouted.
Cloud opened his mouth and filled his lungs to yell again, but before he could, Barret walked up behind him, and put a hand firmly over his mouth. Barret nodded at Tifa. A camera appeared in front of her, floating in the air. Tifa struck a pose; standing with one leg out, and a hand placed cockily on her hip, she fluttered her eyelashes and said in a deep sultry voice, "Yes, please, I'm just begging you…"
Cloud shook Barret off of him, and shouted, "What the hell is going on?"
"I'll tell you what's fucking going on," Cid shouted back, "you just ruined the whole goddamn fic is what's fucking going on!" Cid sighed, "It's fine though. Just means that we'll have to do it again."
In the distance, Cloud could see Sephiroth walking back toward them. He was alone now, though. He must have hidden Jenova somewhere. Cloud grabbed the handle of his sword, and pressed the release buttons on the cross strap which ran across his shoulder. He leveled his enormous blade, lightly behind him and dashed forward to meet Sephiroth, knocking Cid and Tifa out of his way as he went.
"Stop him! Somebody stop him!" Mr. Gonzo screamed frantically, "We're not in story-line, I can't do anything!"
Cloud careered away from the group, covering half of the distance between Sephiroth and himself in a matter of seconds. As he ran, he heard footsteps coming up behind him. Two sets of footsteps, one on his left and one on his right. He heard Mr. Gonzo scream, "No killing! This isn't storyline, he really could die!"
A moment later, Squall and Seifer passed him, one on each side, and darted inward in unison. Squall grabbed Cloud's sword at the hilt, and ripped it, bodily, from his grasp, and Seifer caught him around the waist and tackled him violently to the ground. Cloud spun in Seifer's grasp, and backhanded him across the face with his spiked, steel bracer. Seifer's grip loosened and he fell backwards with a deep cut on his cheek.
Cloud scrambled to his feet and started to run forward again, when a tall figure in red tech armor appeared directly in front of him. Cloud didn't have time to react, and neither did the armored figure; which threw its hands up defensively as Cloud smashed headlong into it, knocking his head cruelly against the faceplate of its helmet.
Cloud and the armored figure both fell backward, Cloud only barely holding onto consciousness.
The figure stood up quickly and ripped off its helmet, revealing a handsome masculine face, with striking blue eyes, and a head of stylishly messy blonde hair.
"Link, what are you doing here?" Squall asked, running up to him.
"Fine, sorry I'm late," Link answered hurriedly.
"Why are you dressed up like Samus?" Squall asked, raising one eyebrow.
"Long story short: she had a fan-fic she was supposed to do, but it turned out it was yaoi, and she just wasn't equipped, so she asked me to step in for her. Apparently the writer didn't know that she was a woman, and I look enough like her anyway… But down to business, like I said, sorry I'm late." Link was still talking extremely fast. Squall reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and fumbled around for something.
Link bent down and took Cloud up in his arms, and, after brushing Cloud's hair away from his face with a tender fingertip, he kissed him passionately on the lips.
"Link," Squall said, looking up from his copy of the script, "you're not in this fan-fic."
Link looked up in alarm, and dropped Cloud's now unconscious head unceremoniously to the ground.
Cloud awoke suddenly with a horrible scream; his last conscious image had been that man's face… that man's lips.
"No, Link, you're not in this fic at all," Squall was saying, while flipping through a crudely stapled booklet marked, 'The Abyss'. Seifer was standing next to him, holding a folded rag, (which appeared to have been torn from Aeris' dress,) to his bleeding cheek.
Mr. Gonzo let out a blood-curdling scream, and didn't stop screaming. Soon he had drawn everyone's attention.
"Yaoi! NO!" Mr. Gonzo screamed loudly, and burst into flames.
"Holy Shit!" Seifer shouted. His mouth dropped open.
"Fuck!" The word burst out of Cid's mouth like an explosion.
There were a series of loud gasps, then a moment of silence, as Mr. Gonzo's body melted into a burning puddle, which illuminated everyone's faces hauntingly.
As Cloud watched the burning mass which had been Mr. Gonzo only a moment before, he saw Sephiroth walk out of the steadily growing darkness to stand next to the corpse. Jenova materialized next to him.
Cloud jumped to his feet and started running toward Sephiroth. This time nobody moved to stop him.
As Cloud ran forward, Sephiroth turned his head up to the darkness; his shoulders shaking slightly, he started laughing evilly.
"Cloud, stand down!" He said, in a smooth even voice. He turned as Cloud neared him and drew his sword, holding it, ringing menacingly, in front of him. Cloud stopped short, suddenly realizing that his sword was several yards behind him, where Squall had left it.
"Oh my God-" Tifa said behind Cloud, her voice stifled by horror, Cloud looked over his shoulder at her, "-we have no writer… He can't open the door for us anymore." She fell, defeated, to her knees.
Cloud looked back, to Sephiroth. Sephiroth took a step forward and extended his sword out to Cloud's throat. A charming smile touched the corner of his mouth: "I'm going to enjoy this, Cloud… You were right," his smile broadened, "every single time, you were right… Soon, this blackness will fade, and a new world will begin, but you won't be here to enjoy that."
Cloud heard the thud and upward whine of a capacitor charging behind him.
Sephiroth turned his attention to a point above Cloud's right shoulder. His jaw dropped, an expression almost like horror.
"Cloud, get down!" a masculine voice shouted.
Cloud dropped his feet out from under him and hit the floor, covering his head with his hands. A wave of heat passed over his body, he felt an impact in front of him and heard Sephiroth scream. A moment later, heavy fragments of something fell around him. He looked up.
Sephiroth was kneeling on the ground, holding a head in his hands; his sword lying on the ground in front of him. He looked up and around at all of the people standing in the now, almost complete darkness.
"You will all pay for what you have done to mother," he said, in a low menacing voice.
The last spark of the burning body of Mr. Gonzo went out, with a wet hiss, and everything was dark.