YEY. I got 2 more reviews!
To Happy Nut Case. Naw, I don't think I'll make it a Juliet/Arty fic. Their just best friends. Cliché, I know but hey. I changed the summary but I don't know if it's spicy enough or still too bland. PLEASE HELP!
To xTamx. I've battled through my brother doing his GCSE coursework, my annoying niece coming into the room Ta Ta'ing at my water bottle and running away with my copy's of the Artemis Fowl trilogy (I don't consider the 7th dwarf one of the series. It clashes too much with the artic incident, Butler hardly says more than 2 sentences and seems hollow and heartless, Foaly also hardly gets in his attitude + it makes him sound gay (now I'm not prejudiced against gays, it's just Foaly doesn't seem the homosexual type) with his hoof cream, there wasn't a genius plan (well it didn't seem like it), Artemis was too spoilt and I could go on for another few minutes but, by now you've probably lost the thread of the point of this bantering so back to my mention of xtamx), my Ma yelling at me to get off the computer and do some work, my teachers, for springing tons of homework on me (especially my Irish teacher its about 5 weeks to the tests! She's given revision lists already!), my Ad giving me work to do and me reading habit (Wuthering heights is too good!), just to let you's know what happens next.
Oh eye, I forgot to say that Artemis isn't crazy. Ok?
Any how, on with the story.
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Disclaimer: Damn you! Why cant you see that I don't own all the stuff Mr. Eoin Colfer owns *bursts into frustrated tears* look what you made me do!
Juliet's apartment, New York City, America
"Your damn dog scared the damn life out of me!"
"Well close the frigging door then! It's not Bone's fault"
Artemis muttered something in Irish
"What? I can't understand that stupid language."
Artemis just smiled ironically at her.
"Oh shut up then!" Juliet's eyes regained their unfocussed look and she fell into her cereal again.
Artemis slumped in his chair and felt the fatigue of staying up most of the night, wash all over him. He felt his memory tug at the rest of his mind. 'What happened last night?' "Me and; Juliet and I went to the pub and." 'And what?' said his inner self sounding sarcastic, "Oh great! I'm talking to myself now!" he suddenly realized he was talking out loud, but relaxed as he glanced at Juliet. She was drowning herself in a bowl of cornflakes and appeared not to have heard. 'And what?' "Damn you," he cursed out loud, "if you don't stop talking I'm going to go in there and make you wish you were someone else's!"
"What did you say?" asked Butler from the living room,
'Damn' Artemis cursed internally but out loud he said, "Just threatening my inner self."
"Right." Was all Butler said, rolling his eyes. Artemis was talking to himself more often now since he became old enough to go out boozing with Juliet.
'And what?' inner Artemis persevered Artemis began to get really peeved off with himself 'me and; Juliet and I went to the pub, got drunk and walked home because we couldn't get a cab.' 'And...' 'We walked through central park and heard some Americans fighting in the bushes.' 'You sure it was Americans?' 'What else could it be?' 'Oh I give up!' 'Fine.'
Artemis's head became cloudy and his thoughts became sore. The only thought that wasn't that sore was to copy Juliet.
But before Artemis could even get up to even get the bowl, never mind pouring a sufficient amount of milk to drown himself, a knock on the door made Bones start barking, jumping and from the sounds from Artemis's room, ripping the duvet again.
"Artemis go get it." Shouted Butler from next door, the living room.
"Jewel, go get it." Said Artemis, practically falling into the cereal cupboard.
"Pop." Said an outraged bubble coming from Juliet's bowl.
"Fine. I'll go get it then." Shouted Butler sarcastically.
Artemis blinked, and shook his head to try and dislodge the pain Butler's shout had shoved in his brain, all he succeeded in doing, was making the pain more concentrated. Artemis hopped in frustration and banged his head on the roof of the fridge. "Shit! I swear I'm going to kill you some day!" he swore.
"What was that?" asked Butler from the door.
"Just threatening the fridge."
"Right." Butler repeated, rolling his eyes again."
He looked through the peep hole. He saw no one. He looked at the video screen with the same results. "Kids." He muttered. Then. There was another knock on the door. He looked again. No one. Strange. He opened the door as there was another knock. What stood there was a small man. Not even a meter in height. He had a long, black beard and was giving rude gestures at the door.
"What the?" Butler was confused, not the first time but what would you say when a small figure turns up on your sister's doorstep, and gives you the finger. Butler stared at the figure. 'He looks familiar some how.' The told himself, 'Well might as well see what he wants.' The little man scooted between his legs, indoors before Butler could even open his mouth, and said, hopping on the spot and hugging his arms,
"About time Butler. It's freezing out there. You look well by the way, fat must still be working. You don't know how painful it was, sitting in that cell, with one cheek tender. Of course, it was nice thinking about the proposition Artemis offered me. Oh where is he? I suppose he's in here."
"Wait a moment there." But Butler was preaching to an empty hallway. The Dwarf had scooted into the kitchen.
Butler walked quickly towards the door. The scene before him was comical. Juliet had moved on to and finished her toast, you could tell because she had butter in her hair, and was staring at the stranger wide mouthed. Artemis on the other hand, wasn't aware that they had a visitor at all; he was, in fact, sleeping with one hand rested in a bowl of rice krispies, the other, straight in the air, with a teacup dripping its contents onto his head, which was rested in what looked like a grapefruit.
The stranger looked at the two with a grin and was shaking his head. He jumped onto a stool and after saying, "Howye." to Juliet, hit Artemis with a newspaper. The teenager groaned. "Frigg off." He croaked.
"Artemis Fowl." The kleptomaniac Dwarf was shocked. "You seen to have moved down a couple of classes since I've last seen you. I'm here 'cause of that business deal you promised me."
Artemis straightened up, tea and fruit juice pouring down his face. He tried his best to look all business.
"What Mulch?" He said.
"Ah you remember me." Mulch Diggums said.
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Can't be bothered to write any more. Don't want to go any further into the remembering scene.
Oh I know some of it was clichéd but what else would the lovable, rude, annoying, kleptomaniac dwarf who is Mulch Diggums do when turning up at a human doorstep?
And I know Butler wouldn't just open the door to a complete stranger into his house. But what can I say. How else could Mulch get to the house?
It has come to my attention that in the chapter that Holly's at Fowl Manor, I wrote 'Shuttle port E1, Tara, Ireland' sorry it was meant to be 'Fowl Manor, Ireland' sorry for the confusion it might have caused you.
Have to go now so, Slán, Luv Soap Sudd
To Happy Nut Case. Naw, I don't think I'll make it a Juliet/Arty fic. Their just best friends. Cliché, I know but hey. I changed the summary but I don't know if it's spicy enough or still too bland. PLEASE HELP!
To xTamx. I've battled through my brother doing his GCSE coursework, my annoying niece coming into the room Ta Ta'ing at my water bottle and running away with my copy's of the Artemis Fowl trilogy (I don't consider the 7th dwarf one of the series. It clashes too much with the artic incident, Butler hardly says more than 2 sentences and seems hollow and heartless, Foaly also hardly gets in his attitude + it makes him sound gay (now I'm not prejudiced against gays, it's just Foaly doesn't seem the homosexual type) with his hoof cream, there wasn't a genius plan (well it didn't seem like it), Artemis was too spoilt and I could go on for another few minutes but, by now you've probably lost the thread of the point of this bantering so back to my mention of xtamx), my Ma yelling at me to get off the computer and do some work, my teachers, for springing tons of homework on me (especially my Irish teacher its about 5 weeks to the tests! She's given revision lists already!), my Ad giving me work to do and me reading habit (Wuthering heights is too good!), just to let you's know what happens next.
Oh eye, I forgot to say that Artemis isn't crazy. Ok?
Any how, on with the story.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Disclaimer: Damn you! Why cant you see that I don't own all the stuff Mr. Eoin Colfer owns *bursts into frustrated tears* look what you made me do!
Juliet's apartment, New York City, America
"Your damn dog scared the damn life out of me!"
"Well close the frigging door then! It's not Bone's fault"
Artemis muttered something in Irish
"What? I can't understand that stupid language."
Artemis just smiled ironically at her.
"Oh shut up then!" Juliet's eyes regained their unfocussed look and she fell into her cereal again.
Artemis slumped in his chair and felt the fatigue of staying up most of the night, wash all over him. He felt his memory tug at the rest of his mind. 'What happened last night?' "Me and; Juliet and I went to the pub and." 'And what?' said his inner self sounding sarcastic, "Oh great! I'm talking to myself now!" he suddenly realized he was talking out loud, but relaxed as he glanced at Juliet. She was drowning herself in a bowl of cornflakes and appeared not to have heard. 'And what?' "Damn you," he cursed out loud, "if you don't stop talking I'm going to go in there and make you wish you were someone else's!"
"What did you say?" asked Butler from the living room,
'Damn' Artemis cursed internally but out loud he said, "Just threatening my inner self."
"Right." Was all Butler said, rolling his eyes. Artemis was talking to himself more often now since he became old enough to go out boozing with Juliet.
'And what?' inner Artemis persevered Artemis began to get really peeved off with himself 'me and; Juliet and I went to the pub, got drunk and walked home because we couldn't get a cab.' 'And...' 'We walked through central park and heard some Americans fighting in the bushes.' 'You sure it was Americans?' 'What else could it be?' 'Oh I give up!' 'Fine.'
Artemis's head became cloudy and his thoughts became sore. The only thought that wasn't that sore was to copy Juliet.
But before Artemis could even get up to even get the bowl, never mind pouring a sufficient amount of milk to drown himself, a knock on the door made Bones start barking, jumping and from the sounds from Artemis's room, ripping the duvet again.
"Artemis go get it." Shouted Butler from next door, the living room.
"Jewel, go get it." Said Artemis, practically falling into the cereal cupboard.
"Pop." Said an outraged bubble coming from Juliet's bowl.
"Fine. I'll go get it then." Shouted Butler sarcastically.
Artemis blinked, and shook his head to try and dislodge the pain Butler's shout had shoved in his brain, all he succeeded in doing, was making the pain more concentrated. Artemis hopped in frustration and banged his head on the roof of the fridge. "Shit! I swear I'm going to kill you some day!" he swore.
"What was that?" asked Butler from the door.
"Just threatening the fridge."
"Right." Butler repeated, rolling his eyes again."
He looked through the peep hole. He saw no one. He looked at the video screen with the same results. "Kids." He muttered. Then. There was another knock on the door. He looked again. No one. Strange. He opened the door as there was another knock. What stood there was a small man. Not even a meter in height. He had a long, black beard and was giving rude gestures at the door.
"What the?" Butler was confused, not the first time but what would you say when a small figure turns up on your sister's doorstep, and gives you the finger. Butler stared at the figure. 'He looks familiar some how.' The told himself, 'Well might as well see what he wants.' The little man scooted between his legs, indoors before Butler could even open his mouth, and said, hopping on the spot and hugging his arms,
"About time Butler. It's freezing out there. You look well by the way, fat must still be working. You don't know how painful it was, sitting in that cell, with one cheek tender. Of course, it was nice thinking about the proposition Artemis offered me. Oh where is he? I suppose he's in here."
"Wait a moment there." But Butler was preaching to an empty hallway. The Dwarf had scooted into the kitchen.
Butler walked quickly towards the door. The scene before him was comical. Juliet had moved on to and finished her toast, you could tell because she had butter in her hair, and was staring at the stranger wide mouthed. Artemis on the other hand, wasn't aware that they had a visitor at all; he was, in fact, sleeping with one hand rested in a bowl of rice krispies, the other, straight in the air, with a teacup dripping its contents onto his head, which was rested in what looked like a grapefruit.
The stranger looked at the two with a grin and was shaking his head. He jumped onto a stool and after saying, "Howye." to Juliet, hit Artemis with a newspaper. The teenager groaned. "Frigg off." He croaked.
"Artemis Fowl." The kleptomaniac Dwarf was shocked. "You seen to have moved down a couple of classes since I've last seen you. I'm here 'cause of that business deal you promised me."
Artemis straightened up, tea and fruit juice pouring down his face. He tried his best to look all business.
"What Mulch?" He said.
"Ah you remember me." Mulch Diggums said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Can't be bothered to write any more. Don't want to go any further into the remembering scene.
Oh I know some of it was clichéd but what else would the lovable, rude, annoying, kleptomaniac dwarf who is Mulch Diggums do when turning up at a human doorstep?
And I know Butler wouldn't just open the door to a complete stranger into his house. But what can I say. How else could Mulch get to the house?
It has come to my attention that in the chapter that Holly's at Fowl Manor, I wrote 'Shuttle port E1, Tara, Ireland' sorry it was meant to be 'Fowl Manor, Ireland' sorry for the confusion it might have caused you.
Have to go now so, Slán, Luv Soap Sudd