Hello my darlings! Well I gather that you all want a bit more Gilderoy so...I
am dedicating this chapter to all those who requested him because this
chapter is all about Gilderoy WHEE! Cough yes... you probably realised that I
have changed the last chapter; I prefer it this way it seems to go with my
plot more okies? So sorry if I confused you.
Warning- the characters are probably a little OOC but it just makes it funnier ok :P
Disclaimer- J.K Rowling = Rich. Me =Poor... you get the idea.
Chapter 6 (I know its labelled chapter 7 but I'm not including My A.N :p)- Gilderoy- a History.
Gilderoy sat down on his bed. His room already felt like home. It had everything he could possibly need; Walls full of his pictures, plenty of mirrors and... his favourite part of his room, a walk in wardrobe. He knew he was going to enjoy this year, he could tell from the reception his students gave him. They were riveted in his classes...or so he thought. And he seemed to be getting on pretty well with all of the other professors: except of Minerva.
He could not understand what her problem was. Had he forgotten to send her a birthday card? That must be it. Satisfied that he could remedy the situation with a belated birthday card he lay down on his bed.
He had had his bed transferred to Hogwarts when he knew he was getting the job. He refused to sleep in a "used bed" and insisted on having his king- sized bed moved with him, velvet bedspread and all.
He grabbed some parchment and a quill form his bedside table. He was going to write his biography suitably entitled "Gilderoy- a History" His inspiration blatantly taken from "Hogwarts a History."
Although, in his opinion, his book would of course be much better, just because it was written by him. That's right, he was going to write it all by himself, no ghostwriters for Gilderoy Lockhart, no sir. Anyway, he didn't think ghosts were too good at spelling.
"My dizzying climb to the top began when I was born. Everybody loved me. My mother told me I was an adorable baby. Of course, mothers always say that to their children, even if everybody else thought they were ugly. Almost all babies are cute anyway...but even so, I was just plain better than any other baby..."
...This was how his book began. Pleased that he had written enough Gilderoy sat in front of a mirror and practised his trademark smile.
Yep Gilderoy old boy, you're just plain better looking than everybody else is. He thought to himself.
There was a knock at the door.
As deputy head, Minerva was obliged to check up on the new members of staff at the end of their first day. She had pleaded with Dumbledore, begged him[i] to let her not go to see Gilderoy. But when she left his office, with only a shred of dignity left, she still had to go and talk to him.
Severus was still in feline form and was still being chased by Mrs Norris, but he was slowed down when a wall collided with his face. Dazed and concussed Severus wobbled down the corridor and landed at Minerva's feet.
Minerva looked down at him and cooed. "Aaw you poor little thing." She picked him up, "why aren't you just the cutest little ball of fluff I've ever seen!"
Severus knew that look, that look in her eyes...she was going all girly and mushy on him...oh no. He meowed in protest,
Geroffame woman!
But Minerva wasn't paying any attention.
"You're coming with me. I need moral support." She whispered, she sounded slightly nervous.
Gilderoy's room? What are we doing lurking out here? Severus wondered to himself. ... Oh no...eurgh! Please don't tell me u an' him are...EURGH!
Severus thought he was mentally scarred for life. If he was going to get out of this alive, he was definitely going to check himself into St. Mungos.
Minerva hesitatingly knocked on the door. Severus shut his eyes quickly. Gilderoy let them in.
"What a cute cat." Gilderoy commented, and went to stroke Severus.
Oh no you don't pretty boy growled Severus as he swiped a paw at his hand and bit him.
"OUCH"
Minerva laughed.
"Yes, well, anyway. Nice to see you Minerva."
"Wish I could say the same." She quipped
It took a few moments for the insult to sink in with him.
"Anyway, do sit down darling."
"Um, no" she said harshly "and don't ever call me that, we have a purely professional relationship. Nothing more. I am merely obliged to come and check on you so if you could tell me how your day went, I can go."
Whew, so you're not here to do THAT then. Thank goodness. Although even the thought of you two...y'know...is a bit, ok, a lot disgusting. Meowed Severus.
"But Minerva I thought that what we had was special."
"Exactly, was special, until you ruined everything. So if you will just tell me what I need to know."
"Why are you being so cold Minerva?"
Cold? She is bloody frosty if you ask me. Thought Severus. Minerva stroked him and he began to purr automatically.
Minerva gave Gilderoy a piercing glare, usually reserved for Slytherins[ii] but occasionally used on smarmy love rats A.K.A. Gilderoy Lockhart. Even his trademark grin wasn't going to win her over this time.
"Well, it was rather a pleasant day." Started Gilderoy. "All the children listened tentatively..." He turned around to gaze at himself in the mirror. "And I showed then first hand how to triumph over those pesky blue critters...er...Grindylows. You remember. From my second..."
The door slammed.
"...Book?"
He turned round, Minerva had gone. It turned out that his captivated audience wasn't so captivated after all. Why couldn't he get round Minerva? He had left her to pursue his career, he thought she knew that. Did he really break her heart?
"OH I KNOW!" he exclaimed. Hurriedly he folded a piece of parchment and scribbled on it. He ran out into the corridor just in time to catch Minerva.
"WAIT!" he shouted. Then passed her the parchment. "Goodnight Minerva." He said before leaving her confused in the corridor with Severus.
Minerva looked down at the parchment, it read:
"Happy Belated Birthday Minerva! Love from Gilderoy Lockhart xx"
A look of confusion came to her face. "What the?" she looked at Severus "My birthday isn't until next month."
----------------------- [i] Literally begged him, she even got down on her knees in a most undignified manner which left unsightly dust marks on her robes. [ii] Severus also knew this look, she had used it on him a lot, just because he was a slytherin mind you.
Warning- the characters are probably a little OOC but it just makes it funnier ok :P
Disclaimer- J.K Rowling = Rich. Me =Poor... you get the idea.
Chapter 6 (I know its labelled chapter 7 but I'm not including My A.N :p)- Gilderoy- a History.
Gilderoy sat down on his bed. His room already felt like home. It had everything he could possibly need; Walls full of his pictures, plenty of mirrors and... his favourite part of his room, a walk in wardrobe. He knew he was going to enjoy this year, he could tell from the reception his students gave him. They were riveted in his classes...or so he thought. And he seemed to be getting on pretty well with all of the other professors: except of Minerva.
He could not understand what her problem was. Had he forgotten to send her a birthday card? That must be it. Satisfied that he could remedy the situation with a belated birthday card he lay down on his bed.
He had had his bed transferred to Hogwarts when he knew he was getting the job. He refused to sleep in a "used bed" and insisted on having his king- sized bed moved with him, velvet bedspread and all.
He grabbed some parchment and a quill form his bedside table. He was going to write his biography suitably entitled "Gilderoy- a History" His inspiration blatantly taken from "Hogwarts a History."
Although, in his opinion, his book would of course be much better, just because it was written by him. That's right, he was going to write it all by himself, no ghostwriters for Gilderoy Lockhart, no sir. Anyway, he didn't think ghosts were too good at spelling.
"My dizzying climb to the top began when I was born. Everybody loved me. My mother told me I was an adorable baby. Of course, mothers always say that to their children, even if everybody else thought they were ugly. Almost all babies are cute anyway...but even so, I was just plain better than any other baby..."
...This was how his book began. Pleased that he had written enough Gilderoy sat in front of a mirror and practised his trademark smile.
Yep Gilderoy old boy, you're just plain better looking than everybody else is. He thought to himself.
There was a knock at the door.
As deputy head, Minerva was obliged to check up on the new members of staff at the end of their first day. She had pleaded with Dumbledore, begged him[i] to let her not go to see Gilderoy. But when she left his office, with only a shred of dignity left, she still had to go and talk to him.
Severus was still in feline form and was still being chased by Mrs Norris, but he was slowed down when a wall collided with his face. Dazed and concussed Severus wobbled down the corridor and landed at Minerva's feet.
Minerva looked down at him and cooed. "Aaw you poor little thing." She picked him up, "why aren't you just the cutest little ball of fluff I've ever seen!"
Severus knew that look, that look in her eyes...she was going all girly and mushy on him...oh no. He meowed in protest,
Geroffame woman!
But Minerva wasn't paying any attention.
"You're coming with me. I need moral support." She whispered, she sounded slightly nervous.
Gilderoy's room? What are we doing lurking out here? Severus wondered to himself. ... Oh no...eurgh! Please don't tell me u an' him are...EURGH!
Severus thought he was mentally scarred for life. If he was going to get out of this alive, he was definitely going to check himself into St. Mungos.
Minerva hesitatingly knocked on the door. Severus shut his eyes quickly. Gilderoy let them in.
"What a cute cat." Gilderoy commented, and went to stroke Severus.
Oh no you don't pretty boy growled Severus as he swiped a paw at his hand and bit him.
"OUCH"
Minerva laughed.
"Yes, well, anyway. Nice to see you Minerva."
"Wish I could say the same." She quipped
It took a few moments for the insult to sink in with him.
"Anyway, do sit down darling."
"Um, no" she said harshly "and don't ever call me that, we have a purely professional relationship. Nothing more. I am merely obliged to come and check on you so if you could tell me how your day went, I can go."
Whew, so you're not here to do THAT then. Thank goodness. Although even the thought of you two...y'know...is a bit, ok, a lot disgusting. Meowed Severus.
"But Minerva I thought that what we had was special."
"Exactly, was special, until you ruined everything. So if you will just tell me what I need to know."
"Why are you being so cold Minerva?"
Cold? She is bloody frosty if you ask me. Thought Severus. Minerva stroked him and he began to purr automatically.
Minerva gave Gilderoy a piercing glare, usually reserved for Slytherins[ii] but occasionally used on smarmy love rats A.K.A. Gilderoy Lockhart. Even his trademark grin wasn't going to win her over this time.
"Well, it was rather a pleasant day." Started Gilderoy. "All the children listened tentatively..." He turned around to gaze at himself in the mirror. "And I showed then first hand how to triumph over those pesky blue critters...er...Grindylows. You remember. From my second..."
The door slammed.
"...Book?"
He turned round, Minerva had gone. It turned out that his captivated audience wasn't so captivated after all. Why couldn't he get round Minerva? He had left her to pursue his career, he thought she knew that. Did he really break her heart?
"OH I KNOW!" he exclaimed. Hurriedly he folded a piece of parchment and scribbled on it. He ran out into the corridor just in time to catch Minerva.
"WAIT!" he shouted. Then passed her the parchment. "Goodnight Minerva." He said before leaving her confused in the corridor with Severus.
Minerva looked down at the parchment, it read:
"Happy Belated Birthday Minerva! Love from Gilderoy Lockhart xx"
A look of confusion came to her face. "What the?" she looked at Severus "My birthday isn't until next month."
----------------------- [i] Literally begged him, she even got down on her knees in a most undignified manner which left unsightly dust marks on her robes. [ii] Severus also knew this look, she had used it on him a lot, just because he was a slytherin mind you.