Summary: This Buffyverse is about fifty years or less into the future compared to the norm. Xander is a miner on Mars during the Red Faction rebellion.

Crossover: Red Faction (the PC game), Hellsing (the anime series, also the manga)

Feedback, it makes me write faster. (You know you want to do the feedback thing.)

Pre-Fic Comments:

Who wants to see Buffy scared as all heck?

* * *

Xander was getting thoroughly annoyed. He had no idea what was going on, beyond what Seras and Eos told him. He wasn't trusting Alucard's reports. He was halfway to certain that the Hellmouth hadn't spat out a Tribble.

"Okay, they're chanting," Seras said, "lines of red energy are flowing from Master and from the priests, and omigod!"

"What?," Xander hissed. Neither of the two women understood him.

"Flesh is growing on that skeleton," Eos continued. "Starting from tendons and growing upwards and outwards. You're lucky you can't see, Vampire -- it's like a train wreck. You're horrified, but you can't tear your eyes away.

"Okay, flesh growing, eyes just inflated," Eos said. "The hair isn't actually hair -- it's a bunch of snake tails. The things keep moving. Creepiest thing I've seen in awhile. Skin is growing -- ohhhh, it's a girl! Keep pushing, baby!"

The Red Faction leader lapsed into morbid humour at the last sentence as the unworldliness of the rite got to her.

"The acolytes are blowing out the candles now," Seras reported. "Master and Tzath are helping the lady up now."

"And now I wait," Xander commented. "Kinda like the rest of my life."

"Would the poor baby like to be changed back?," an unfamiliar voice hissed in the manner of the serpent. "Awww..."

"/Yes/," Xander hissed. "I would very /much/ like to be able to look at people again."

"Very well," the unfamiliar voice said in English.

Xander felt a strange sensation of bones cracking, and muscle flowing like water. The bandanna fell from his eyes as his head changed shape. He quickly closed his eyes, not wanting to risk an accident.

"Your faith in Her is overwhelming," Tzath said acidly. Xander tentatively opened his eyes a crack, opening them the rest of the way when no one was adversely affected.

"Thanks!," he said with a wide grin to the new person. True, she was very odd looking, but Xander was considerably happy. "I'm back to my God-ordained Xander-shape! Twinkies and Mars Bars beware, Xander is back on the hunt!"

Eos laughed out loud at this. "You're just happy you can go back to killing vampires, Vampire."

"You, too, hunt the Demons?," the lady asked.

"Why, thank you for introducing yourself," Alucard smoothly interrupted. "Xander Harris, Lord Hellsing, this is Asiz, Goddess of the Slizath. Eos the Red Faction Leader, Police Girl, and of course myself."

There was a protest of "Hey, Master!" before Alucard wrapped his hand around Seras' mouth.

"Quiet, Police Girl," he laughed nervously.

"Her name is Seras Victoria," Eos said tiredly.

The lady, Asiz, smiled. "Wonderful. Good to meet you again, Alucard. Lord Hellsing, Eos, Police Girl, I'm glad to make your acquaintance."

"HEY!," Seras complained loudly again. Both Asiz and Alucard smirked at her.

Xander was thankful to the two for lightening the mood, even if he hadn't gotten a chance to join in.

"How has the war progressed while I have slept?," Asiz asked, skirting the issue of her obvious death.

"Sadly, without Your intervention and inspiration," Tzath began, "numerous agencies have attempted to open the Hellmouth. Many times, the Slayer and her team have been the only ones present to stop them while we have been trying to merely exist."

Asiz nodded slowly. Her face twisted with distaste. "/Slayers./ I would almost like them, were it not for the Watchers."

Xander shrugged. "G-man isn't too bad. But he's the only one who isn't too bad."

"He was the old guy from the bookshop, right?," Seras asked.

"That's the G-man," Xander confirmed. "Slayer of Mysteries and Hoarder of the Knowledge."

"There are exceptions," Asiz equivocated.

"THERE YOU ARE! Xander, I *knew* you were working with demons!," a short blonde stridently shrieked from the entrance to the cavern.

A panting sound announced that someone else was trying to follow her, and wasn't quite up to her speed. "Buh, Bu, Buffy, I really, must, insist, that you, stop and listen!"

"That's G-man," Xander said, listening to the sound of someone that he couldn't see yet.

"/Wonderful/," Eos sighed. "One homicidal wacko, coming up."