Author's Note: So here's chapter 2! Thanks for the reviews for chapter 1, I really appreciate it. You guys rock. :-D And to those of you who asked questions in your reviews, a lot will be revealed nearer the end! Anyway, just incase anyone didn't get it by now, I've dubbed the normal type Abby as AngstyAbby, and the italic type Abby as FuzzyAbby. Just thought I'd share that piece of useless information. ;) Anyway, read on and I hope you enjoy. :) Jo xx
"I need labs back on the patient in curtain four asap, can you start a banana bag for Mrs. Howard in curtain three, and can you check the car crash kid's stats every five minutes," Susan instructed, passing a pile of charts to Abby.
"Yeah." She took them, and placed them on the admit desk in front of her.
"Abby? Did you even hear a word I said?" Abby lifted her head to look at her friend and nodded, immediately regretting the quick movement when she began to feel slightly nauseated.
"Yes, I did," she managed to say, ignoring the throbbing in her head and the churning feeling in her stomach. "You want labs on Mrs. Howard in five minutes, a banana bag asap for crash kid, and stats in curtain four."
"Are you okay?"
"Just fine." She suddenly felt an overwhelming need to throw up. "Write it down, I have to go." She turned and rushed towards the bathroom, not checking to make sure Susan had heard her. As soon as she was there she ran into a stall and violently hurled the contents of her stomach into the toilet. She sat back against the wall, the door of the stall swinging open.
"Abby?" She groaned and closed her eyes tightly, not wanting to look at the woman who she knew was staring at her.
"What do you want Susan?" Still she didn't look at her.
"I wanted to make sure you're okay. Which obviously you're not. You should take the day off."
"I'm fine," she snapped.
"You just threw up, you're obviously not. Look Abby, you're never ill, just go home and get some rest and you'll be better soon enough, and back to work."
"I'm not ill," she demanded, looking up at Susan now, her eyes blazing.
"Are you pregnant?"
"No! Don't be so stupid." She rolled her eyes, before pulling herself up from her crouching position on the floor and flushing the toilet.
"Then you must be ill."
"No, Susan. I am not ill!" she shouted, staring angrily at Susan now. "You want to know what's up? I've got a hangover. And do you want to know why? Because on my way home last night I bought a bottle of vodka, and I sat alone in my apartment and drank it. Until I was too drunk to drink anymore. And then, I lay on the floor of my apartment unconscious for half the night, before waking up in the early hours of this morning and not being able to make it to the bathroom before puking up everywhere. Happy now?"
***
"Good morning, sleepy head." Abby was awoken to the sound of Carter's voice, followed by a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose.
"That tickles," she mumbled in her half awake state.
"Oh yeah?" He kissed her nose again, and then again, and then again. She giggled, and flapped him away with her arms, to which he responded with a laugh. "Don't hit me, I love you."
"Hmm, love you too." She slowly opened her eyes and smiled up at him. "But that tickled."
"Yeah, well it got you awake didn't it?"
"That's cruel!" she laughed, swatting his arm playfully. "Anyway, I thought I was supposed to be resting. You shouldn't be waking me up."
"I know, but it's nearly 11:30, and I guessed you would want to get up."
"I guess I should." She placed her hands in his, and allowed him to pull her into an upright position. "But it's so nice here."
"I made you scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast."
"You didn't?"
"When did I ever lie to you?"
"Could I have it in bed?" She smiled coyly at him, trying her best persuasion techniques. It didn't take much.
"I'll be right back." He released her hands, and sprung off the bed, coming back moments later with a plate of egg and bacon. "Your breakfast is served, Madame." Lifting the fork she took a bite, and grinned at him to show her gratitude.
"This is good. You make it better than me."
"It's cooking, anyone makes it better than you!" he joked, stealing a bit of bacon.
"Hey! Don't be so rude."
"Sometimes the truth hurts."
"Okay, that does it." She pilled some scrambled egg onto the fork, and catapulted it across the bed at him.
"Abigail Lockhart!" he exclaimed, a shocked expression on his face. "You will regret that move." He gathered up a few bits of the egg that had fallen around him and threw them back at her. In the minutes that followed, not very much egg was eaten, and a lot was distributed around the bedroom. Eventually, Abby fell backwards onto the bed and sighed happily.
"That was fun."
"Yup," he agreed, joining her lying on the bed.
"It's going to be terrible to clean up though."
"Oh well, it was worth it for a laugh." They both turned their heads sideways to look at each other, and grinned happily. "Abby?"
"Hmm?"
"I would quite happily do that every morning for the rest of my life."
"Might get a bit sick of cleaning," she joked.
"I don't mean that exactly, I mean…will you marry me?" Silence. "Abby?"
"John, I love you go much, do you even have ask?"
"Yesterday you were breaking up with me because you didn't want to hurt me."
"John, that was supposed to be my way of saying yes."
***
"Can we talk, Abby?" She looked up to see Carter standing next to her at admit.
"No," she responded firmly, looking back down at the chart.
"Abby, please. I just need to understand why all this happened."
"Then you're dumber than I thought."
"You look terrible Abby…are you sure you're okay?"
"Wow, thanks Carter, great compliment," she said bitterly, looking up at him again. "Have you been talking to Susan? You should keep your nose out, you have no right to know anything about me anymore."
"Talking to Susan? What? No!" She could see he looked hurt and confused, and for a moment felt a pang of guilt at what she'd done to him. But then she remembered that this was all for the best, and she set her mind on making sure he knew that too. It was essential that she make sure he didn't want to be near her again.
"Okay, you want to talk? Fine, let's talk. Come on." She turned as quickly as her pounding head would allow and stormed to the doctor's lounge, where he joined her moments later. "Well, what do you want to talk about?"
"I want to know why you left yesterday. And why you look like you're about to throw up this morning."
"You want to know why? You want to know more than I explained to you? Okay, I'll tell you the truth." This was it. The moment when she could push him away for good. Bye bye Carter, was nice knowing you, I hope you have a good life. "I left you because I've been cheating on you for the last six months. Not only that, but I've been secretly drinking behind your back. A month ago, I aborted your child. Last night I drank copious amounts of vodka, and passed out in my living room. Disgusted in me? I thought so. Aren't you so glad I left and saved you the hassle of throwing me out."
"Abby, I…"
"You think you can say something to make me feel better about myself? Don't bother. I expect you to hate me, don't worry. I'll just keep out of your way and let you get on with your life, okay?" He nodded, a dazed expression on his face, before turning and rushing out the door.
Staring after his retreating form she sank down into the sofa and let tears begin to fall down her cheeks. Lies. All of it lies. "Okay, I'll tell you the truth." What a load of rubbish. Apart from last night's vodka, she hadn't spoken a word of truth. The thought of aborting another baby made her feel sick, let alone his baby. And she couldn't imagine cheating on him. She couldn't imagine now how she could even see another man again without feeling like she was cheating on him. "Way to go Abby, you've ruined your life," she muttered to herself. The only small comfort was the fact that she had just changed his too, and she knew he could be infinitely happier now.
***
"John, don't you have a shift this afternoon?" Abby asked as she exited the bedroom having taken a shower and got dressed.
"Took the afternoon off," he explained, looking up from the journal he was reading. "Said I had to take care of a family member."
"Family member, huh? Well, you're close, but a bit too early," she teased, approaching the table where he was sat and looking over his shoulder. "Ooh, hip replacements, exciting."
"Yeah, it's thrilling stuff." He winked at her.
"So you took the afternoon off work to look after me, and you're spending it reading about hip replacements. Wow, I'm flattered."
"Ha, you're funny." He closed the journal and hit her playfully on the arm with it. "My wife might need one when she's old and frail."
"Old and frail? Ha! I refuse to ever be old and frail. Did you change your mind and decide to marry Marianna Dalton or something?"
"Yeah, didn't I tell you about that?"
"Small detail you missed out. So, what do you want to do today?"
"You're meant to be resting."
"I know, but I feel fine, and I'll get bored cooped up in the apartment."
"I'm planning to be married to you for a long time, it doesn't bode well if you get bored just being in the apartment with me for a few hours."
"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that."
"Hey, I got an idea!" he exclaimed, grinning at her.
"Hmm?"
"Let's go buy you an engagement ring."
"Really?!"
"Do you think I'd make that up? Come on, get your coat." In seconds he had shoved his feet in a pair of shoes, pulled a coat on, and was standing by the door to the apartment waiting for her. "Hurry up slow coach!"
"Okay, I'm coming," she responded, laughing as she came out of the bedroom pulling a coat on. "Anyone would think you were excited."
***
Cigarette in one hand, coffee in the other, Abby stood on the roof staring out across Chicago. Normally she found the view comforting and beautiful. Today it just added to her annoyance. Why did that road go at that angle? And why was that building lit up from the outside, and not another? Stupid little things all had something annoying and stupid about them. She kicked the wall hard, yelping slightly as she stubbed her toe. But who cared about the pain? It would all be gone tonight once she got home to her bottle of Stolichnaya. She could forget all her troubles and just drink.
"Mind if I join you?" Susan asked from the other side of the roof, by the stairs. Abby hadn't even realised she'd come up. She shrugged, trying to seem like she didn't care. Truth was, she desperately wanted to talk to Susan. She wanted to tell her all about what a mess she'd made of her life, and what terrible lies she'd told to Carter. She wanted to tell her how guilty she felt, and how much she just wanted to sink into oblivion.
Susan had obviously taken the shrug as a yes, since she was now stood by Abby next to the wall, watching out over the city. "The city's beautiful at this time in the evening, isn't it?"
"Yup," Abby grumbled, not granting her supposed best friend any more conversation than that.
"You know, this conversation thing, if we're going to try and have one I need more than one word sentences from you."
"Who said I wanted a conversation?"
"Ah, that's better!" She knew what Susan was doing. She was trying to either get her so annoyed that she yelled at her and told everything that was going, or calm her down so she opened up. Abby was determined it wouldn't work.
"Why do you even want to talk to me Susan?"
"Because you're my friend."
"I don't think so. And if you truly think you still want to be friends with me, I think you need your head looking at."
"I'll gladly have a CT if it makes you believe I really do want to be your friend."
"Right, whatever," Abby retorted bitterly.
"You really don't want anyone to care about you, do you? Have you seen Carter this afternoon?"
"No. I spoke to him this morning."
"Yeah, I know. He's devastated." Abby shrugged. She wasn't going to give Susan the satisfaction of knowing what had transpired in her conversation with Carter. "Is what you said true?"
"What?"
"Is it true? What you told him?" She shrugged again. "He doesn't believe you. Well, at least not about the affair and the abortion. Did you do it?"
"Maybe."
"I take it that means no. Abby, what are you doing?"
"Giving him a better life."
"A better life alone, wishing he was with you? Wow, that totally rocks."
"I know what I'm doing Susan. Please, don't make me explain."
"Okay." She was amazed at Susan's acceptance of the request. "But, there's one condition. You have to let me take you out tonight."
"No Susan, I don't want to have to explain everything to you tonight either."
"Not to explain. I just want to make sure you have a good time. We always have a laugh, right?"
"Yeah, I guess…"
"Is that a yes?"
"Okay."
***
"It was so casual and relaxed, I didn't realise what he'd said for a moment!" Abby explained to Susan down the phone.
"About time too, it's taken the pair of you long enough," she joked, and Abby could tell she was grinning on the other end of the phone.
"I've got the most gorgeous engagement ring, too. It was his great grandmother's, it's got diamonds and all. He told me we were going to go buy one, and then produced that in the car, and said we could buy rings for the wedding instead!"
"Okay, you've got to show me sometime soon, I'm dying to see this rock!"
"Yup. I never thought I'd be one to get all girlie over rings, but it's so exciting."
"So you bought wedding rings too?"
"Yeah, they're just simple bands. Really nice though. Hey, why don't you come round this evening? We'll get a Chinese take out and the three of us can chat about the wedding, and I'll show you the rings."
"Yeah!" Susan exclaimed, obviously excited at the prospect. "Okay, I have to go now, but I'll see you later. Bye!"
"Yeah, bye."
"I guess Susan's coming round then?" Carter asked once she'd put the phone down.
"Yeah…sorry, I should have asked you. She's just so excited and everything, I feel mean keeping her away from it."
"I know, it's fine. You want me to take myself out for the evening so you can have a girlie chat?"
"No!" she exclaimed, making her way towards him and then kissing him gently. "You are not going anywhere mister."
"Good, I was beginning to think I might have to leave my own apartment."
"We can start wedding plans, it'll be fun."
"Wedding plans? And there you were this morning accusing me of being excited," he joked. "Anyway, I always kind of thought you'd want a small wedding."
"I do. But even small weddings need planning."
***