Chapter.10
Some Magicians have all the Luck
Lance, Christine, Neo, and the back-to-normal Drake were lost in a thick fog. They we've been lost for days and hunger was setting in. "Holy Crap I so damn hungry!" Lance moaned.
"Well look on the bright-side," Drake smiled.
"What bright-side?!" Lance snapped, "I'm hungry, I'm tired, we're lost in this fuckin' fog and you're conscious! And if you value your pathetic existence in any way I suggest you piss off and shut your stupid ass up!!!"
"…" Drake hung his head in shame.
"Please, boys get along this isn't the time to be fighting with each other, right Neo?" Christine smiled nervously turning to Neo.
"They c'n rip each other's throats out for all I care," Neo said bluntly.
"That's all I needed to hear," Lance smiled cracking his knuckles. Lance lunged at Drake, the Dark Magician sided stepped him and looked around. "You dress wearing freak! Fight me!" Lance yelled jumping to his feet.
"I know where we are," Drake smiled looking at his friends.
"Bull-shit, you're as lost as the rest of us!" Lance growled. Drake didn't pay the enraged elf any attention as he took one step to his left and raised his hands.
"Hey," Drake yelled into the fog, "Lower the walls!
"Who demands it?" a voice echoed from nowhere. Lance, Christine, and Neo scanned around them, but didn't see anything.
"Great trick Drake, I didn't know you knew ventriloquism," Christine smiled. Lance gave Christine an 'are you crazy' look replying,
"You know from an elf, you the amazing ability to spit out horse crap." Christine was about to slap Lance when Drake interrupted replying to the hidden voice,
"I am Dark Magician, first class AA, Drake Alastar Catalano! (his whole name)
"Raising the gates!" The voice replied.
"Alastar, Catalano?" Neo, Lance, and Christine asked in unison.
"Yup yup, Alastar being the name of a famous dark magician in my family, and Catalano cause I'm part black! Drake is just my nickname." Before any of Drake's (very) confused friends could answer, a city literally from nowhere began to appear before their very eyes. Its walls had to be 100 feet tall at the least and it stretched as from as the eyes could see, which was about 20 feet in the fog, but it was Reeeeal big trust me. They all stood in front of the main gate and the gate began to lift revealing an opening. Drake turned to his friends and spread out his arms wide, "Welcome my friends to The Town Forgotten by Time!" They all ventured into the vast city, there was no fog inside and towering buildings surrounded every corner and people fill the streets.
"Wow, what a lovely place!" Christine thought, gazing at all the marvelous structures and strange sights. Neo shook his head and tore open a portal and began to go through when Christine grabbed his arm. "Neo where are you going?"
"This is as far as I can go you've all mature…enough to make it from here. I need to go home and take a long nap see you later," Christine released her grip and Neo disappeared through the portal.
"Good-bye Neo," Christine shed a single tear and continued taking in the sights. While completely unaware that Lance was trying his luck with all the magician chics. (WARNING to all male readers: The following pick-up lines are not to be used, unless you want your ass kicked)
"Hey girl, is that a ham or your ass?" Lance asked a magician of faith. *SMACK!* Lance sees another girl, "Excuse me I dropped my number can I have yours?" The girl smiled and walked away. Spotting another magician girl, "How about we go back to my place for pizza and sex?"
"No!" The girl yelled slapping Lance so hard his helmet spun.
"Why not," asked the Celtic elf, "You got something against pizza?" Seeing yet another girl, "WOW, are those real?" Lance questioned staring down the girl's rack.
"What do you think you ass wipe?" Christine growled tapping her foot. Lance looked up slowly and to his horror,
"Oh, heh heh, h-hi Christine," he stuttered, raising his head to Christine's eye level.
"They're real, and you'll never see them," Christine smiled. Lance, sighing in relief, approached a Dark Magician Girl and turned on the sexy.
"Hey, do you have a band aid?" Lance asked her.
"No, why?" She questioned.
"Cause I scraped my knee falling for you," he said checking her out, "So hows about I take you out from a romantic steak dinner?"
"I'm a vegetarian," she replied placing one hand one her hip.
"Then how about you and me go out for a drink?" he tried again.
"Nope, I'm clean and sober," she smirked.
"Then how about sex?" Lance said with a half smiled, pointing down.
"I'm a lesbian," the Dark Magician girl smiled.
"I think I liked being an opera singer better," Lance thought.
"Demi?!" Drake shouted pushing Lance in to Christine.
"Oh my goddess! Drake?!" Shouted the Magician Girl, running up to Drake hugging him tightly forcing her tongue into his mouth. Lance's jaw dropped and Christine smacked him on the back of the head. Drake pulled Demi way and smiled,
"Demi, it's good to see you again. So how's that whole life-in-the-lost-city-thing working for you?"
"It's real lonely," Demi said in a depressed voice. Drake took her in his arms trying to comfort her.
"What happened to all those other Dark Magicians that are all over you?" Drake asked. Demi shook her head smiling,
"Drake when I was five I said I'd love only you for all my life and I still only have eyes for you. Come on, let's all go to my place and you can rest."
"YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE A LESBIAN!!!" Lance yelled his fist clutched tightly, with a huge anime anger vein bulging out of his head. Drake and Demi started walking ignoring Lance. Lance turned to Christine moping. "She said she was a lesbian."
"I think I should turn gay just cause you're pissing me off right now!" Christine snapped running and catching up with Drake and Demi. Lance sighed a painful 'I'm all alone' sigh and followed after the others from a safe distance.
The group stopped in front of this gigantic mansion that stretched for a mile surrounded by a vast fence, "Welcome to the Spencer Estate! Amazing what kind of stuff you can find for sale on E-bay, huh?" Demi smiled pointing to her home. Both Lance and Christine stood shocked, but Drake as usual, replied in an idiotic way,
"Great googa mooga!" Drake yelled.
"I know it's gigantic!" Christine said in surprise.
"No," Drake whispered leaning closer to Christine, "No, Demi just grabbed my ass." Christine giggled childishly,
"I think she really likes you Drake."
"Yeah," Lance butted in, "Maybe you'll get some booty tonight."
"I'd say the same for you but, we both know that ain't gonna happen," Drake joked uncharacteristically. Lance was a second from drawing his sword on Drake before the gates began to part. They all walked to the front door of the mansion and Demi threw open the doors revealing a vast hall, stain glass windows where every where and they cast their marvelous lights down onto a velvet red carpet, that ran across the marble made floor. Enormous columns held the ceiling in place from where three breathe taking chandeliers, each more beautiful than the last. They were all covered in diamonds, sapphires, and other rare precious stones and suspended by gold woven into a thin sturdy wire. Two staircases on each side of the hall spiraled upward to a connecting bridge with an ivory-gold rail. The ceiling was at least 40 feet up, and there wasn't one speck of dust anywhere. Demi smiled kissing Drake on the cheek, "You know Drake," she whispered seductively, "My room is so big and I was wondering if you could keep me company to night."
"Okay," Drake shrugged totally unaware that Demi was coming on to him.
"You can share the bed with me and we could fool around," Demi winked at Drake making her way to the stairs, "I'll be waiting!" she shouted climbing the stairs, entering the room on the left. Drake turned to Lance and Christine and gave his usual smile.
"See isn't Demi a nice girl?" Drake asked. Lance growled not able to comprehend how absolutely clueless Drake was.
"Yes, Demi is a nice girl Drake," Christine smiled.
"Why the Hell don't I get meet any 'nice' girls?" Lance thought, his head dropping down in self-pity. Shooting a look at Christine, Lance's head suddenly filled with ideas I'm not allowed to get away with in a PG-13 rating. "Maybe this won't be a total waste, this might be my lucky night to."
"Not if the Universe depended on it," Christine said in a dead seriousness looking at Lance.
"Crap," Lance said dropping his head again.
"But," Christine started beginning to blush, "If you don't mind I do wish to share a room with you, I don't have a good feeling about this place." Lance looked up in complete surprise, just staring at Christine. Christine noticed he was staring and turned away, "Don't look at me, I can feel myself blushing!" She shouted. Just then a man in a tuxedo walked up to Lance and Christine,
"Shall I show you to your rooms maim and sir?" He asked with a serious, but emotionless face.
"The lady wishes to stay with me," Lance stated.
"Madam?" The man asked.
"Y-yes, it's true," Christine said all flustered.
"This way then," the man said turning and walking toward the stairs. Christine followed and Lance tapped Drake on the shoulder.
"Hey Drake."
"Hm?"
"If you do score tonight I may just begin to respect you," Lance smirked walking after Christine.
"Trust me Lance," Drake thought, " This night will hold many surprises for all of us." Drake looked at the door where Demi went in and walked to the door on his left entering a giant dining hall.
"What took you?" Demi shouted happily sitting at the far end.
Lance and Christine entered their room it was the size of a pro basket ball court and just as wide. One bed in the center and all the comforts of home surrounding it, pool table, punching bags, shelves of books spanding the of the wall, and barrels upon, bottles, upon cases of rare wine, beer, and anything containing even the smallest amount of alcohol. "Christine slap me I think I've died and gone to heaven," Lance said falling weak kneed at the sight of all the booze. Christine, though, also fell into a state of speechlessness seeing all the books that lined the walls.
"If you require anything else to make your stay more comfortable don't hesitate to call," said the tuxedo man leaving the room. Lance raised to his feet running and jumping on the bed.
"Oh my God this bed is damn soft," Lance yelled, feeling himself sinking into the mattress.
"Gasp! Lance, get off that bed instantly!" Christine shouted. Lance gave her the finger and kicked off his shoes, grabbing on of the pillows placing it under his head. Christine sighed walking over to the bed, hoping on it, and climbing on top of Lance. "You know Lance, we will be sharing this bed."
"Yeah great, huh?" Lance said, try to sound sexy.
"But you know what would make it even better?" Christine asked lowering herself onto Lance.
"What?" Lance questioned, placing his hand on Christine's back pulling her even closer.
"If you would, take a shower," Christine grinned rolling off of Lance. Lance sat up and looked at Christine who was trying to hold back her laughter.
"That's hell'a cold blue girl," Lance sighed getting off the bed. Walking to the door at the far end of the room labeled hot spring. Lance plops himself down in the steaming water resting against the side of the pool. The spring itself was maybe 50 feet wide and the same across. It was at least five feet deep and the heat was soothing the body as will as the soul. Lance sighed picking up a bar of soap and started scrubbing. "Sigh. Well, Christine may be riding my ass about my hygiene, but at least she cares enough."
"No, no I don't think that's it," Lance hear Christine say from behind him. Lance bolted a look around him hoping to see Christine completely naked, but to his misfortune she too was wearing a towel. "So I see someone's thinking of me, how sweet," She joked settling into the hot spring, next to Lance. Catching Lance giving her a hard stare she turned away sticking up her nose. "Don't get any funny ideas, I'm only bathing with you cause I don't want to smell like you." She said coldly.
"Hey Christine, you ever watch 'Those Who Hunt Elves'?" Lance asked smirking devilishly.
"I've heard of it, why?" Christine questioned.
"You know what Junpei does when ever he sees an elf?"
"What?" Christine said starting to feel concerned.
"Thought you'd never ask," Lance said standing up. In a flash Lance tore off Christine's towel, small pieces of ripped fabric flying everywhere.
"EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK!!!!!!" Christine screamed covering herself as well as she could running out of the spring.
"Demi what are you doing here?" Drake asked in surprise.
"I know your stomach comes before most things, but I can relate so LET EAT!" Shouted the Dark Magician Girl. Drake pulled up a seat next to Demi and the tuxedo man appeared out of nowhere with two silver platters covered by a sliver lid, go fig. He placed them on the table in front of the two magicians and left to tend to other matters. Demi lifted the lid and under it was the biggest juiciest piece of steak you'd ever seen drenched on steak sauce, with a piece of parsley on top. Drake lifted his plate and there was,
"A teriyaki chicken rice bowl!" Drake yelled like an excited kid on Christmas. Demi and Drake without hesitation started scarfing down the food like there was no tomorrow. "Good food!" Drake managed to say in between him flinging the food into his mouth and chewing.
"Can't talk now eating," Demi said still chewing a huge chunk of meat. Neither said a word until their plates were empty. "Feel good? *Burp!*" Demi asked licking her lips slowly.
"I-I feel," Drake placed his hand on his head, "I feel strange.
"Really?" Demi questioned rhetorically, placing her elbows on the table and resting her head in her hands. Drake's body began to feel tense and his head began to fill with thought he would never have imaged before. He looked to Demi with confusion and some other emotion he hadn't felt yet. "What did you do to me?" Drake asked suddenly falling out of his chair. The Dark Magician Girl got up and knelt down next to him calmly,
"My dear, dear Drake. I love you and when you left from our city twenty years ago, I was heart broken." Her expression quickly changed to a dead seriousness. "Ever since I could remember for every birthday I wished you'd show up and we could be together again. I have given up all hope until I heard your voice from the gates. And when I saw you, you reminded me why I fell for you those many years ago; it was because of your pure heart, I could sense it then and I still do now." Demi rose to her feet and Drake did too both with their eyes gazing deep into the others. "Drake, I don't want to just be your friend, I don't want to just walk with you, I don't want to just share a dinner with you. I want to be as close to you as I can be," Demi stated, beginning to cry. Drake grabbed Demi's arms with his hands tightly, and kissed her. He heart at last releasing the feelings he never knew he had for Demi. They escaped to their room and took to each other, hugging and kissing with a furious passion. (Use your imagination for the sex scene, [that's right sex scene, with Drake] I can't get away with it on a PG-13 rating)
Lance walked out of the hot spring smellin' all clear and fresh, wearing a towel around his waist. Christine was lying down on the bed wearing a baggy shirt maybe size or two too big and gym short. She was reading a book, but Lance didn't pay any attention as he walked towards a closet looking to changing into some pajamas. Throwing open the doors the closet was filled with dresses all either white, pink, and purple. Lance's head turned slowly toward Christine with a rusty creaking noise. "Where'd you put all the clothes!?" Lance growled the fire of hell in his eyes.
"Why, they're right in front of you," Christine said licking her thumb turning to the next page in her book.
"You know what I mean! Where're all the guy clothes!"
"There were none to begin with, this is a girl's room, however." Christine said looking up from his book. "I do know where your clothes are."
"Then where are they? Tell meeee!" Lance threatened shaking his fist. Christine smiled and held up Lance's pouch, the one he had his ring hidden in. He eyes opened wide and words escaped him for a moment. "Did you look inside there?" Lance demanded, trying to stay calm.
"I can see you beginning to sweat from here," Christine said, buttoning and unbuttoning the pouch. "What could be in here?"
"Christine, don't look in there!" Lance shouted. But Christine didn't listen and opened the pouch and reached inside. "NO!" Lance ran and jumped into the air his towel flying off. Christine pulled out the ring box when her attention shifted to Lance (pant-less, hee hee). She dropped the small box and Lance snatched it.
"Dear God, Lance put on your towel!" Christine yelled, her hands over her eyes. Lance wrapped the bed sheets around himself just as Christine peeked through her hands. "Lance are you insane!? What is in that box that's so important you'd be forced to 'reveal' yourself to me!?"
Hesitating for a moment Lance shot an "I'm sorry" look at Christine.
"Well?" Christine demanded.
"It's a ring," Lance replied closing his eyes. He knew he couldn't hold it in any longer, so he hopped off the bed and got on one knee. Christine saw him like that and was breathless for a moment. "Christine, I--" *Thud!* Just then it sounded like something slammed against the east wall of Christine and Lance's room. They both paused and hurried over to placing their ears against the wall. Listening very closely they could almost make out the noise, but couldn't quite place the sounds. "Alright I'm curious I'm going next door," Lance said hurrying out the door. Five seconds later. Lance burst through the door knocking it off its hinges, his hand over his eyes. "OH MY GOD! IT BURNS, IT BURNS!!" He screamed, running directly to the booze. He popped open two bottles and began to drink as if his sanity depended on it.
"Lance what's wrong?!" Christine asked almost reluctantly. Lance growled at her opening another bottle. "You should slow down and tell me what you saw." Lance just pointed to the door and Christine walked out heading to the next room. Twenty seconds later re-entered her room very slowly and Lance was still drinking up a storm. He tossed her a can of beer and she caught it and tossed it back. "Stronger, much stronger," Christine said standing up the door, then magically sealing it as best she could. Lance held up a bottle of Russian vodka. Christine grabbed it took on drink and collapsed.
"She sure can't *hiccup!* hold her liquors," Lance said, taking Christine placing her on the bed. He covered her and he laid himself down too.
Demi was out like light and Drake was wandering the halls of her vast home, "Demi's got what she wanted, Lance and Christine are probably asleep." Drake opened a door that lead back to the main hall, he was on the floor level. He heard chain dragging on the floor behind him; he turned his head and froze in fear. Before he could make a sound the thing knocked him unconscious.
"You never should've came here," said the
"DRAKE!!!" Lance, Christine, and Demi shouted waking up in their beds. They all ran out and met each other in front of the others room. Christine was in her gym shorts and baggy shirt. Lance was wearing the bed sheets toga style, and Demi was in, well, the same thing as Lance.
"Where's Drake!?" Demi yelled at Lance and Christine.
"I don't know," Christine said looking around.
"Shit my head hurt," Lance said, being somewhere between drunk and a hangover. They all heard a loud crashing noise from the main hall and they all ran down to investigate. Once they reached the main hall they all gasped at the sight they saw. There stood a tall dark magician, his skin was a dark blue, he wore a big hat even goofier than Drake's, and his hair was tied into three-foot long dreadlocks, but Drake was nowhere to be seen.
"Oh my God," Demi whispered. The magician smiled and began to walk towards the stairs.
"Ass right there freeze hole!" Lance shouted, now in hangover mode. The magician stopped in front of Demi.
"Where's Drake!" Demi demanded slapping the magician.
"I am Drake," the man answered in a melancholy voice. (Fear my vast vocabulary!) Demi looked into his eyes and gasped stepping back slowly. "Demi, please understand I," Drake attempted to explain. But Demi ran disappearing into the darkness of the mansions shadows, a trail of tears flowing from her eyes.
"What's her problem?" Christine asked.
"Come on guys," Drake said hanging his head, beginning to cry himself. Without a word from either Lance or Christine they gathered their things and left the Spencer Estate, the town forgotten by time, and Demi. The gates lifted and the three left the city, not sparing it a second glance. They soon came upon the Castle of Dark Illusions and they stood still for a moment, looked to each other nodded and continued on.
To Be Continued
Hey, how's it going? Krimson here, next time on "of elves and magicians" Lance, Drake, and Christine have finally begin their assault on the Castle of Dark Illusions. Just before they reach the main chambers they're separated and run into their counter-parts. The first battle is between Lance and Saturos don't miss the next exciting chapter.
And now the ending song!
More Than Words
(Dedicated to Drake and Demi)
Looking up at the sky alone
I remember how much I loved you
I watch the dusk as it becomes twilight
I was young, pretending nothing could hurt me
When I think of it now, I sigh
When I close my eyes
I see I was the one with the closed heart
Slowly becoming distant and vanishing away
I was lonely, and now
I can find no words or imagine my happiness
I left you for all the wrong reasons
Please forgive me
I'd laugh at friendship, say it was an illusion, a fantasy
I've had so many chances for happiness
But I stayed alone and clod
I was frozen outside, but my heart kept me warm
By the mere thought of you and I together
You are my everything, even now
Though I can't say "I Love you"
I still want you here beside me
Now and forever
I never said good-bye to you
Because I didn't want to see you cry
The real me is ignorant and foolish
But you still accepted me as I am
Come back to me
I want you here with me
I never meant to hurt you