Dumbledore's eyes grew round with shock and his hand went to his forehead, massaging his temples, "This is bad, very bad. I've heard of the seed of darkness, it's essentially a spell that turns the body on itself, forcing it to slowly and painfully destroy itself over time."

Pomphery paled and looked down upon my body with fear, "There's an antidote isn't there? A counter spell?"

Dumbledore shook his head, "Not if it was Voldemort that inflicted it upon him, if it had been a weaker wizard the spell might have been overridden but healing potions and spells….I, I don't know what to do…." His head sunk in defeat.

"He'll die?" Someone whispered in a horrified tone.

"Yes." was Dumbledore's quiet response as he walked over to a chair against the wall and collapsed into it.

"Well can't he just fight it?" Draco snipped.

"If it's gotten this far then I very much doubt it….why didn't you tell us Harry? Why my boy? If you had known why didn't you tell us, in it's earliest stages it might have been stopped. Why?" He looked first at my body on the bed that up to Draco, his eyes imploring desperately.

I backed away from that look I ran from that question because the answer was not one they wanted to hear but Draco pushed against me, forcing me once again to answer of face the agony of my own body.

Quit running, Potter. He snarled

"I…" I stuttered to a stop, closing Draco's eyes so that I wouldn't have to see his expression, but as soon as Draco realized what I was doing he opened them, he made me look out of his eyes and meet Dumbledore imploring stare, "I didn't want you to know…."

"But why!?" Dumbledore snapped angrily.

And I said what I known all these long months, "I wanted to feel the pain, I wanted to be hurt and I wanted to die, I didn't want to be saved, that's why I didn't tell you. I would have never told you if I could have."

The words came out harsh and angry and even though they were carried on Draco's voice the words were, all too mine and everyone knew it, they all knew and sat in their own moments of silent shock, even Draco.

But then it was all disrupted by Malfoy's angry voice as he yelled at me both out loud and inside his mind, "You fucking coward! You'd just run away like that, and leave us all here to deal with all this shit you left behind!? You are the destined to kill him in the prophesy and what do you do?! You decided to throw us to the fucking wolves so that you can drown in your own self-pity and die! Fuck you, Potter! If you want to die so badly then reap the consequences of your actions and die with the pain you have brought upon yourself!"

He forced me from his mind in a single violent shove, slamming the door shut on his mind and locking me from it. The pain came upon me and my mind was raw, having taken that time of freedom from that pain, that moment of sanity and all the pain was forced back upon me. My body came mine once more and all my pain, I screamed, I screamed until my voice was hoarse and my voice gave out. I felt in my mind not only the pain of my actions but the truth of what Draco had said to me. I knew that it was true, that I had run away and hid in my own self-pity but if I could have just died there would be no more. He had taken that away from me, that guilt free death of ego and self loathing. For the first time since I had gotten the seed I fought.

I poured my anger and all my energy in to the thing I could hurt, that seed that had started it all. I realized through the haze of my retaliation and anger a desperate unwavering need for revenge. This was no longer a fight to save other, to avenge my parents or Sirius or any of the others that died. I wanted him dead I wanted him to feel the pain that I felt and I wanted it more desperately than I had ever wanted anything in my life.

I fought against that spell, I fought against my own body, I fought for control of it. I could feel distantly that I was convulsing and writhing on that bed and I had before lay motionless as I slowly died.

I furrowed into myself, drawing out reserves of power I hadn't even know. I found the knowledge that even though I had not been consciously fighting the seed I had been none the less, else I would have been devoured within a matter of days as I had seen in that rapid growth when I had left my body.

My strength began to ebb and the darkness began to close in on me. I wrenched open my eyes, looking up at the faces of those I respected and hated and I cried out in fury at my helplessness. I saw Draco over my, holding down one of my arms, Professor Dumbledore on the other side and I knew again that searing moment of truth and abandon.

I had no strength left, I could feel the seed developing even faster as it made it's way into my mind and my heart. My lungs refused to open, my hearts beat became erratic and frantic as it struggled to keep me alive. Tears spilled in a last cry for survival, for pain and life. Then it all stopped, I felt my body die, one organ at a time, my eyes fogging as I remained trapped helpless within my body, waiting those inevitable minutes it would take before my mind would cease to function and I would die.

All that I had gone through, all the friends I had gained and the people I had saved, I was going to leave them. I was going to leave them in the hands of a mad man. A man that would kill them in much the same way that he had killed me. He would kill them because they had known me.

I reached out into myself in my very last vestiges of my mind and consciousness. I forced myself against the walls of my humanity with the will of my need to live, my pain and happiness, all my memories, good and bad flooded within me and I pushed at those seems until I had found ever piece of myself except one. Buried deep within myself I found something that was not mine, something that had caused all this pain, I found Voldemort.

I could feel him, watching my as I died. I could feel his triumph his elation at what he had done and it was then, in the last precious moments of true thought and life that I snapped. I reached that unreachable point of anger and fury that few beings ever reach and I exploded. I destroyed that thing in my mind. I shredded it down to the last visages of it's existence I shattered my mind and all its confinement, I reached and spread my consciousness across the entire existence. I stood before the gods of the earliest and greatest power and I demanded an explanation I demanded from them a reason and they could give me none. I asked nothing more from them but showed to them my life and my anger. I showed to them my every waking moment and in exchange for that view into the world long deigned to them they gave me back myself and what was left of their power and knowledge; and like what I had been done to me I took them into my consciousness and made them a part of myself. I took their power and confined it within my body.

I returned to my mind, and body, past death and consciousness, already cooling and I destroyed the seed of darkness, started my heart once more, and took the first breath of my re-birth.