Author's note: I'll be brief for once. Thanks for the reviews, sorry it took so long, I know I always say it will be quicker. I'm a bad bad Jo. Hope you enjoy Chapter 10, I'd love to know what you think. Jo xx

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Abby picked up the phone receiver, and put it to her ear. She stared at the keypad on the phone, and reached out a hand. It hovered over the number 5, ready to dial. She knew the number she needed off by heart. It would be so easy to just press the numbers. 568-6452. She'd recited it in her head so many times. 568-6452. Easy.

She slammed the phone down. It was far from easy. In fact, this was probably the hardest phone call she'd ever made. The phone had already been up and down several times this evening. She had to do it. She wanted to do it. But she couldn't. 568-6452. Sighing, she picked the phone up again, and stared at the numbers. If she just pressed them, then it would be taken out of her hands and they'd have to talk...she reached out her finger, and pressed the 5 firmly. Her hand shook as she lifted it away. That's it Abby, she told herself, just six more numbers to go. Reaching out again, she pressed the 6 and then the 8. She smiled to herself. It wasn't so hard, once she got started. Once again she reached out. 6...4...5...

There was a wail from the bedroom. She sighed, and slammed the phone down. Danny. She was relieved that she didn't have to make this phone call right now. But part of her wished she'd just been able to press that last number, and be forced to do it. Right here, right now. She made her way into the bedroom, and lifted Danny out of his crib. "Hey baby," she whispered to him, and she rocked him gently. "You just saved Mummy from a very awkward phone call, you did."

She walked out into the living room, continuing to rock him, and positioned herself comfortably on the sofa. "Is Mummy's little boy hungry?" she asked, unbuttoning her shirt. "Well that's better isn't it sweetie?" She stroked his back lovingly as he fed, watching him happily. As she looked up from her son, her gaze caught the phone once again. Just next to her on the table. Glaring up at her, as if it was telling her to call. She stared at it, half in longing, and half in absolute terror. The phone represented everything she wanted to do, but also didn't want to do, and everything that she couldn't do.

Suddenly it rang, making her jump. Her immediate thought was that it was him. But why would it be? He had no reason to call her. Hands shaking, she reached for the receiver. "Hello, Abby Lockhart."

"Hi Abby, it's me!" Susan's cheerful voice answered, and Abby breathed a sigh of relief. She was sure she'd never been so happy to hear Susan's voice.

"Oh hey Susan."

"You sound like you weren't expecting it to be me."

"Yeah, I...err, I wasn't really expecting anyone, it just made me jump when I heard the phone, that's all."

"Okay..." Susan sounded slightly confused, but didn't ask anymore. "What are you up to?"

"Feeding Danny."

"Oh, okay."

"What do you want Susan?"

"I just wanted to talk about...well, about Carter." Abby sighed. She should have known.

"Yes?"

"Did you talk to him yet?" Well that was the million dollar question. It wasn't that she hadn't tried. It was just so hard. But she wasn't sure how to make Susan understand that.

"I...I was about to ring when Danny started crying."

"Abby!" Susan exclaimed, clearly not believing her friend. "Please Abby, you have to speak to him."

"I know I do! But it's so hard. I'm trying Susan, really."

"Why don't you ring him now?"

"Because I'm on the phone to you." Abby rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, I'll go and do something productive and leave you alone to ring Carter."

"I don't know Susan

"

"I know you don't want to do this. But think of Danny. Surely he deserves for all this to be sorted out?" Ah, the guilt trip. Abby looked down at her son, and sighed sadly. It was working already. She knew he would want to know when he was older. And she knew he would hate her forever if she hid anything from him.

"Yes, but..."

"Good!" Susan interrupted, not allowing Abby to continue with her 'but'. "I'll go now then. Talk to you soon! And give Danny a big hug for me." Susan had hung up before Abby even had a chance to say goodbye.

"What are we going to do with your Auntie Susan?" she asked Danny as she replaced the receiver. "She's got all these great schemes, and I don't know what to do." She watched her son feeding, and couldn't help but feel that she really had to ring. Right now.

Before she had a chance to change her mind she grabbed the phone and dialled the numbers, quicker than before. 568-6452. It began to ring. She bit her lip, and watched Danny nervously.

"John Carter." The air caught in her throat as she heard his voice. He was really on the other end of the phone. She couldn't believe she'd done this. "Hello?" he asked, and she realised that she had been silent for far too long. She had to say something. Her mouth opened to speak, but nothing would come out. She'd thought long and hard about what she should say at this moment, but now she couldn't remember any of it. "Is anyone there?"

She slammed the phone down as tears formed in her eyes. Why was this so hard? All she wanted was to give Carter and Danny the best lives they could have. The only problem was that she was certain the best life for Danny was with Carter, and yet the best life for Carter was away from her.

***

"Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird, and if that mockingbird don't sing, Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring. And if that diamond ring turns brass, Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass," Abby sang to Vanessa as she rocked back and forwards in the rocking chair, trying to get her daughter to sleep. Every time she thought she was asleep, she would get up to put her in the crib, and Vanessa would wake up and start to fuss again. "If that looking glass gets broke, Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat, and if that billy goat don't pull, Mama's gonna buy you a cart and mule. And if that cart and mule turn over, Mama's gonna buy you a dog named Rover." She stopped singing and watched her daughter's chest rise and fall with the deep breaths that usually indicated sleep. She brushed a finger over the soft skin of the baby's cheek, and sighed happily. Maybe she was finally asleep.

Carefully, she began to stand up, making sure not to disturb Vanessa. As she took a step across the room, Vanessa made a slight movement, so Abby quickly started rocking her and singing again, attempting to keep her asleep. "And if that dog named Rover won't bark, Mama's gonna buy you a horse and cart." She put Vanessa down into the crib, and held her breath waiting to see if she would cry. After a few seconds with no sound, she breathed a sigh of relief. Vanessa's small thumb somehow managed to find her mouth, and Abby grinned as she reached down and stroked her daughter's cheek. "If that horse and cart fall down, then you'll be the sweetest little baby in town."

She allowed her hand to linger for a moment longer, before taking one last look at her daughter and then turning and leaving her room. Joining Carter on the sofa, she sighed loudly. "I thought she would never go to sleep."

"I could have had a go, if you wanted."

"She's asleep now. Anyway, I think passing her between us would have been the worst thing we could have done."

"Stubborn little girl, doesn't want to go to bed when she's meant to," he laughed as Abby snuggled up next to him.

"Yeah. Or maybe she just wanted to hear Mummy's terrible singing. That girl's going to be traumatised when she grows up."

"You've been singing nursery rhymes to her?" he asked, smiling happily. He loved it when Abby did cute motherly type things, and singing nursery rhymes to their daughter was just perfect.

"Yup, I just got finished with hush little baby."

"The mockingbird one?" She nodded.

"And before that she had the privilege of hearing my renditions of Baa Baa Black Sheep and I've Got A Baby Bumble Bee."

"I've Got A Baby Bumble Bee?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. You know: I've got a baby bumble bee," she began to sing. "Won't my Mummy be surprised at me, I've got a baby bumble bee, oo-ee, the bee stung me."

"You sang that to our daughter? Isn't that for, like 8 year olds to do with loads of disgusting actions?"

"I have a limited repertoire!" she protested.

"Yeah, I can see that."

"I'd like to see you try better."

"Well, as a matter of fact, we do rather enjoy a round of This Little Piggy when we've finished with diaper changing."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, you know the one?" She shook her head. "Give me your hand."

"What?"

"Give me your hand." She looked at him curiously, before holding out her hand for him. He held it, palm up, in his and began pointing at her fingers for each piggy. "This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed at home, this little piggy had roast beef, and this little piggy had none. And this little piggy went wee-wee-wee, all the way home!" She giggled loudly as he ran his fingers up her arm and tickled her.

"What was that for?!"

"It's part of the rhyme."

"You do that to Ness?"

"She's likes it." He shrugged.

"She's five weeks old."

"Hey, if she's old enough to be traumatised by your singing then she's old enough to enjoy my games."

"Fair enough." She rested her head on his shoulder, smiling happily to herself.

"What are you grinning about?"

"I was just thinking about us. And how a couple of years ago you wouldn't have let me sing. And now you love me doing it."

"I seem to recall that you did sing to me."

"And you tried to stop me." She sat herself up slightly. "Rubbing sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite..."

"I hope you don't sing that to Vanessa!"

"And the thought of loving you is getting so exciting..."

"Abby!"

"Sky rockets in flight, afternoon delight." He rolled his eyes at her. "Come on, join in! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaafternoon delight!"

"Abby, shut up," he demanded, laughing.

"Why?"

"Because I can't kiss you when you're singing."

***