Author's note at the end.
ooo
"Hello stranger!" Susan greeted Abby as she entered the lounge in the ER, carrying Danny in his baby seat. "Welcome back."
"Thanks." She handed the baby seat to Susan, as she opened her locker and took her coat and bag off.
"So, how does it feel to be back?"
"I wouldn't know, I'm not back for another..." She looked at her watch. "Seven minutes! Just enough time to go upstairs and get him settled in daycare." She undid the belt on the baby seat, and lifted her son out. "You ready to go and make lots of new friends?" She slung the diaper bag over her shoulder, and began to leave the room.
"Abby, you forgot the baby seat."
"Oh..." She looked at herself, assessing how she would carry it, before deciding it probably wasn't possible unless she put Danny back into it. And she'd already had enough trouble getting him to co-operate before leaving the house. "Erm, I'll just leave it in here. They won't need it up in daycare. I'll be back down in seven minutes."
"Six now!" she heard Susan call as she walked out the door and made her way towards the elevators.
"Uh, hey Abby," she was greeted by Carter who was stood waiting for the elevator.
"Hey." She pressed the button for the floor she needed, not looking up at him.
"You back already?"
"Yeah, I start at eight." The elevator doors opened and they both stepped inside.
"Err, how old is he now?" Carter asked as the lift began to move off. Both of them had their eyes fixed on the floor, not wanting to look up at each other.
"Six weeks."
"Didn't you want more time off?"
"Maternity leave doesn't pay the bills."
"I could help with that, if you wanted," he suggested, risking looking up at her.
"Why? You don't owe me anything. I was the one who ended it, why do you feel like you have to help me?" she demanded, looking up at him too.
"Because, I..." he motioned towards Danny. "I feel like..."
"You have to give me money because I've got a baby?" she snapped, interrupting him. "You are one strange guy John Carter." Danny began to cry, obviously shocked by his mother's angry voice. She bounced him in her arms, whispering to him. "Okay sweetie, don't cry. Mummy's here. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."
As the doors opened on her floor, she exited the elevator without looking at Carter. "Abby!" he called after her, and she turned around to hear what he had to say as the doors began to close. "I think you're a great Mum."
After the doors had closed she continued to stare at them. She wasn't sure what to think. Did he just feel some obligation towards her? Or had he overheard Susan? "Daniel Lockhart, your Mummy is a fool. So if I ever try to give you advice, don't listen to me okay?" She turned away from the elevator and made her way to daycare.
"Hello, you must be Abby!" an enthusiastic worker greeted her as she walked in the door. She looked at Danny and grinned at him in that way that people only grin at babies. "And you must be Daniel."
"Yeah, that's right. It's Danny mostly, though."
"Oh right. Danny. I'm Sandra." She held out a hand for Abby to shake, before laughing. "I am sorry, of course you don't have a free hand! That's the problem with babies, isn't it?"
"Yeah," Abby replied cautiously. "His diapers and other changing stuff is in here," she said, slinging the diaper bag off her shoulder. "And there's some bottles of milk too. Plus his teddy."
"Okay, everything sounds great." Sandra held out her arms for Danny, and Abby carefully passed him over. He immediately became agitated. "Ooh dear," she cooed as she bounced him up and down. This only seemed to cause his cries to increase. "Is this going to be first time away from Mum?"
"Yup." Abby watched her son, desperately wanting to take him and calm him down. "I could calm him down before I leave, so he's quiet for you."
"We usually find it's best if Mum just leaves, they usually get used to it quickest that way."
"Right. Of course." She stared at him sadly, feeling completely useless. "Well, I'm in the ER if you need me for anything. Anything at all." She smiled at Danny for a moment. "I'll see you later gorgeous." Then she turned and left, making her way along the corridor as quickly as she could. Maybe if she got down to the ER and started working she could get through today quicker, and would be able to forget about the fact that she had left her son with a complete stranger.
"Danny all settled then?" Susan asked as she approached admit.
"Yeah..."
"You don't seem very happy."
"No, it's fine, I just...I left my son screaming his head off, with a woman who was far too bubbly and happy for her own good, who told me it was best if I just left." She sighed angrily. "I can't believe I just left him up there."
"It does get easier," Susan offered comfort. "I never really liked leaving Susie up there, but we both got used to it. He'll stop screaming."
"Thanks. So, what have we got today? I need something extra busy to keep myself from worrying about Danny."
"Don't wish for a busy day, we might just get one!" Chen exclaimed as she joined them at admit.
"I don't care, anything that makes the day go quickly."
"How about doing some bloods for me to start the day off?" Chen handed a chart to her, which Abby studied for a moment.
"Majorly obese forty year old guy? Wow, sounds like fun."
"Yeah, and he's a bit of a pervert too."
"Oh yay," Abby replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes and moving off with the chart.
"Welcome back Abby! It's like you never left, huh?"
ooo
Abby flicked channels on the TV, finally deciding on some film with Ben Affleck and Sandra Bullock. She wasn't quite sure what it was, but moving to get the TV guide required far too much energy. So she decided to just watch and find out what happened. It seemed like Ben and Sandra's characters were having some sort of affair, while his fiancée was preparing for their wedding. She laughed at the absurdity of it: movies were always either complete disasters, or overly fuzzy. Real life wasn't like that. At least, hers wasn't. Not anymore. It was just in the middle: nice and normal, without being overly cutesy, and without being disastrous at every turn.
Deciding she couldn't be bothered with whatever this movie was, she hauled herself off of the sofa and made her way into the kitchen. She couldn't believe how quiet the apartment was. John was at work, and Vanessa was fast asleep. Since her daughter's sleeping patterns seemed to have settled down a little, she finally had a little time to herself. Not that she would complain if John was here to share it with her.
She grabbed a tub of ice cream out of the freezer. "All About Fruit", or so its name claimed, it seemed to be some sort of frozen fruity yoghurt. It at least sounded slightly interesting, so she took a spoon out of the draw and sat down at the kitchen table with it. As she ate, she began to flick through a Mother & Baby magazine. It was amazing how much your perspective on these things changed from being pregnant to being a mother. While she was still pregnant she had read every little detail of how to do everything with your baby, making sure she learnt how to do it properly. Now she dismissed half of the points they made in their articles, having learnt that not everything works with every baby. And a Mum knows her baby better than some magazine.
She flicked through the pages, looking at the pictures of babies. Again, when she was pregnant she had thought these babies were the most adorable things in the world. Now her daughter was the only one who was allowed that title. Looking at a picture of a mother holding her baby, grinning happily, she couldn't help but smile realising she was just like that. And it was perfect.
ooo
"Right, I think we're about ready to go kiddo," Abby said to Danny as she awkwardly picked up all her bags and the baby seat, with him balanced on her other arm. She was just debating how she was going to open the lounge door to get out when Malik came in, allowing her to slip through the door before it closed.
"Abby, have you got a minute?" Carter called as she walked past admit.
"Not really," she muttered, turning towards him.
"Did you take Mrs. Lagon's bloods earlier?" She nodded. "I need you to sign off on the chart."
"Didn't I do that already?"
"Obviously not." He held the chart out towards her.
"I don't really have a free hand." She looked down at Danny, before deciding on the quickest way to get this done. "Can you take him?" She handed him over to Carter, cautiously watching to make sure he was supported properly. After signing the chart she looked up to see Carter bouncing Danny in his arms, with Danny gurgling happily. She couldn't help thinking how perfect they looked together. Danny was content with Carter, whereas he normally fussed if she had to pass him to a stranger. It was as if he knew that Carter was his father, and it was safe to be with him.
Tears began to form in her eyes as she thought about what could have been. If things had been a little different then Carter would be standing there, cooing at that same baby, but knowing that he was their son.
"Are you okay, Abby?" he asked, interrupting her thoughts.
"What?" she looked up at him, trying to blink back the tears from her watery eyes. "Yeah, sure. I'm just tired, we really need to get home." She reached out and took Danny back from him. "Erm, thanks for holding him for a moment."
"That's okay. Susan told me he's kind of fussy with strangers, but he seems fine to me. Perfect angel, I think."
"Yeah, something like that." She smiled weakly. "Well, we really do have to go. Goodnight." Having said that she turned and left quickly, knowing that if she stayed there with him any longer she may well burst into tears on the spot. The events of the last ten months had left her very emotional. As she turned and left, Danny began to cry. "Don't do this to me baby," she whispered to him, hugging him closer to her. "Please, I know you want your Dad, but you can't. This is for the best. Please, just be a good boy for Mummy."
ooo
Looking up at the kitchen clock, Abby noticed that it was quite late for Vanessa's feed. She usually had an exact pattern of when she woke up and screamed to be fed. Unsure whether she should wake her daughter and feed her, or just be grateful for the break, Abby continued to flick through her magazine.
After a few minutes Abby realised that if she didn't wake Vanessa up now then their whole night schedule would be disrupted. And she needed all the sleep she could get. Closing her magazine she got out of the chair, and made her way across the apartment to the nursery. She gently pushed the door open and peeped inside the darkened room.
"Hey baby girl, time to wake up," she whispered as she walked across the room. When she reached the crib she was frozen to the spot at the sight before her. Her beautiful baby girl was lying on her back in the middle of the crib, her body still. None of the usual rising and falling of her chest. "Ness?" she exclaimed, panicking. "Vanessa, wake up!" There was still no movement from her daughter. "Oh my goodness, what do I do..." She searched through her mind, trying to remember what the best thing to do was, but as hard as she tried she couldn't remember a thing.
By this time tears were rolling down her cheeks as she stared at her daughter. "911!" she exclaimed suddenly, not taking the time to be surprised that she hadn't thought of it before as she rushed into the living room to find the phone. "Phone...phone..." She ran around frantically looking for the handset. It was under some of these papers and magazines somewhere. Throwing them aside she finally found the handset, and hit 911 as quickly as she could.
"911, do you require fire, police, or ambulance service."
"Ambulance," she replied immediately, and continued before the woman could connect her. "You have to help me. It's my baby: she's not breathing."
ooo
Author's Note: So...this was meant to be one chapter, with the next one, but I decided to leave you hanging there! So it's not quite as long as usual, I don't think. Sorry about that, but the next chapter should be around fairly soon, as well as a new fic. :) Sorry about the stupid "ooo" bits between sections, too - it's the only thing fanfiction.net would let me have in there, for some reason! Thanks for the reviews. And the little reference to a Sandra Bullock and Ben Affleck film was Forces of Nature, which Maura is in (and absolutely brilliant in, too). It amuses me when Carter or Abby watch something with one of them in...what can I say, I'm easily amused. ;)