Author's note: There's just one more chapter after this. I can't quite believe I've nearly got to the end of this huge thing! But anyway, on with this chapter...some explanations coming up now, that people have been asking for since the beginning! ;) Tracey - I can totally understand your greater interest in Danny, I found his parts a lot more fun to right than Nessa's! Thanks for all the reviews so far, and I would still love to know what you think. :) Jo xx

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Abby sat in front of the TV, not really watching whatever was on. All she could think about was what had happened earlier with Carter. For that moment she had seen what it could be like. And she had to admit that she kind of liked it. Carter was such a natural father, and Danny seemed to just slip into his arms like he'd been doing it every day of his life. She so badly wanted for them to be together, to be father and son. If only it were that simple.

She was broken from her thoughts by the sound of the buzzer indicating that there was someone at the front door of the apartment who needed to be let in by her. Who would be here to see her? Susan was working, so there certainly wasn't anyone she was expecting. She got up from her seat, and hit the intercom. "Abby Lockhart."

"Abby, it's John. Can I come in?" She froze. What was he doing here? Why would he even want to be here? "Abby?"

"Uh, yeah, sure," she replied hesitantly, hitting the button to release the front door. She unlatched her apartment door, and waited for him to come up.

"Hey," he greeted her when he walked in the door, shutting it behind him.

"Hey."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she replied abruptly. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see if you're okay. You looked pretty upset earlier. I wanted to make sure I didn't do or say anything wrong without realising it."

"You didn't. There was nothing wrong."

"Then how come you looked like you were about to burst into tears at any moment?"

"I wasn't, I was just..." She was interrupted by Danny's cries. She shrugged at him, and turned towards the bedroom.

"Where are you going?"

"To get my son who is crying for me," she explained, not seeing what was so hard to understand about that.

"I'll get him." He walked past her, not giving her a chance to object. She stared after him, biting her lip nervously. The cries gradually died down, and he emerged a moment later with a much happier Danny. "He's a good kid," he remarked.

"Yeah..." She so badly wanted to just take her son into her arms and never let him go again. But at the same time she loved to see Carter with him.

"You know," he began as he sat down on the sofa. "I used to think all the time about what our kids would be like." She joined him on the sofa, fiddling nervously with the cushion. "They'd have a cute little nose like yours." He placed a finger on Danny's nose. "And maybe my eyes." He ran the same finger along Danny's eyebrows, smiling as the baby looked up at him. "With cute fuzzy brown hair." He brushed his hand backwards over Danny's head. "But most of all, they would be absolutely perfect. And we would both love them no matter what." He leant down to kiss Danny's forehead, and Abby gulped nervously.

"Carter..." she began, but he shook his head to silence her.

"On the day he was born, I came up to give you some flowers. And I heard Susan saying something to Danny which made me think. I wasn't entirely sure what she meant, but I was pretty certain. And ever since my certainty has grown. Just looking at him makes me so sure that he's everything I ever hoped for, and exactly what we deserve."

"John, please..." She couldn't bear to hear him talking like this, she was feeling more and more guilty as he went on. Now all she wanted was for it all to be out in the open.

"Please Abby, just tell me. I won't be angry with you. I just have to know. Is Danny my son?" A single tear trickled down her cheek, and the only way she could respond was with a single nod.

---

"Six week old baby girl on her way, Mum found her in her crib not breathing," Haleh announced as soon as she'd received the call from the ambulance. "ETA 2 minutes."

"I'll take it!" Susan announced, reaching for some gloves. "Carter, Haleh, you're with me." They made their way out into the ambulance bay to wait for their arrival.

"Poor mother," Carter said sadly as they stood waiting. "It makes you realise how lucky you are to go home to a healthy baby every night." Susan and Haleh both nodded their agreement as the ambulance pulled up. The doors burst open, and a paramedic jumped out.

"You might want to get someone else on this," she announced, glancing at Carter. "Six week old female, weighs 4.7 kilograms. We intubated her on the way in." She pulled the gurney out of the ambulance, and all Carter could see was the tiny baby lying in the middle of the gurney, a tube in her mouth, looking completely helpless.

"Ness?"

"Okay, we got this Carter." Susan picked the baby up from the gurney and rushed inside, quickly followed by Haleh. He stared after them, unable to move. What was happening?

"John?" Abby whispered as she climbed out of the ambulance. He turned round to look at her, and saw her face blotchy and red from tears. "I'm so sorry."

"Oh Abby." He rushed to her and pulled her into his arms, kissing the top of her head repeatedly as he held her. His tears flowed into her hair as he held her, and he could feel that her own tears were drenching his shirt. But that didn't matter. All that mattered was their daughter.

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed into his chest. "I just went into the nursery, and she wasn't breathing. It's all my fault."

"No it's not, Abby. It's not." He hugged her tighter, not knowing what else to say. He couldn't tell her everything would be okay when he didn't even know himself. She continued to cry, gripping his arms tightly as if she could never let go.

"All I wanted was to be a family. Us and our beautiful little girl. Was that really so much to ask?"

---

Carter hadn't said a word since the moment when she'd confirmed that Danny was his son. He had gently rocked Danny until he went back to sleep, and then gone back into her bedroom and placed him in the crib. He'd been in there ever since. The door wasn't quite shut, and she could just see him sitting on the edge of the bed watching Danny sleep in his crib. She didn't know whether she should go in there or not. Looking at her watch she realised it had been at least twenty minutes. And she was beginning to feel awkward.

She stood up, and walked towards the door, playing nervously with the bottom of her jumper. As she reached the door she could hear Carter whispering to Danny. "I love you already, little boy. And I've hardly known you're my little boy either. But I can't help but love you. You're so beautiful and perfect. Does Mummy tell you that lots? I'm sure she does."

Abby bit on her lip as she listened. She felt like she was intruding on something private, that she had no right to hear. And now she didn't want to go in there and interrupt them. But she needed to talk to Carter. Now that he knew, there was no avoiding him. They really had to discuss this. Taking a deep breath, she pushed the door open and walked into the room.

"Hi," she said when he showed no sign of knowing she was there.

"Ssh, I don't want to wake him up," Carter responded quietly, not taking his eyes off of Danny.

"It's not very likely. Once he's asleep he wouldn't wake up if the walls were falling down around him." She sat down next to him on the bed, making sure she left enough space between herself and Carter so that it didn't feel awkward. "Carter, we need to talk."

"I know." Still his eyes didn't leave Danny. "He's absolutely perfect, Abby."

"Yeah." Finally he looked towards her, and smiled sadly.

"You want to talk then?" She nodded, and got up. He followed her through to the living area, where they both sat down on the sofa.

"What do you want to ask?" she asked him after a moment of silence.

"Me? You're the one who said we needed to talk."

"Yeah." She took a deep breath. "Because I knew you probably have a load of questions for me."

"Okay." He looked thoughtful for a moment, as if trying to decide where to start. "Well...why?"

"Why what?"

"Everything, Abby. Why did you leave me? Why did you lie to me about cheating on me, and drinking, and everything that you said when we first split up? And why did you pretend Danny wasn't my son?"

"I...I'm so sorry." She closed her eyes as tears began to form in them. When she opened them again tears began to trickle down her cheeks, which she tried to wipe away angrily. "I wanted to protect you."

"Protect me? How was that protecting me?"

"Everything that ever mattered to me, I managed to screw up somehow. I didn't want to do that to you. You deserve better. And I thought, if I made you hate me then you wouldn't want to be anywhere near me anyway."

"But I didn't hate you!" he protested, resisting the urge to just pull her into his arms and hug her.

"You should have done. I was such a bitch to you." She sniffed, looking down at her hands.

"What about Danny?"

"I didn't exactly count on being pregnant. I knew that the easiest thing to do would be to just tell you, but I couldn't. I thought you'd feel some obligation to me, so that you had to come back, when I knew it would be better for you if you just stayed away from me."

"Why, Abby? We could have made it work. I would have made it work. I never wanted to let you go. Ever." She shrugged, unsure how to answer as she continued to cry quietly. "Did you not realise that Danny would need his father?"

"Of course I did. I know that now. The first time I set my eyes on him, I knew. But it was too late when I realised. I'd been pretending for months that he was someone else's baby, and you hated me. I couldn't just suddenly turn around and say I'd been lying. And I didn't even know if you would believe me, after all the lies I told you."

"I already told you Abby, I didn't hate you. I just wish you had let me be there for you, and to be with our son."

"You know, I tried to tell you so many times," she continued, almost ignoring his words completely. "I can't count the number of times I picked up the phone, and dialled the first few numbers to call you. But I could never do it. Susan told me I had to, for Danny. And I knew she was right, but it was so hard. I want what's best for both of you, John." She looked up at him and smiled sadly. "But what am I meant to do when that's different things? The best thing for him is to know his Dad. But the best thing for you is to be away from me."

"Can I decide that for myself?" he asked quietly. "The last ten months have been absolute torture for me. Abby, to be with you and have a family with you is all I've wanted for so long. Please, just give me a chance. I love you."

---

The lounge door opened, and Carter and Abby both looked up to see Susan who had just entered. "Hi," she smiled weakly at them.

"Is she dead?" Abby asked immediately, shuddering as she said the words.

"No." Susan shook her head, and Abby and Carter both visibly relaxed. "But she's really sick. She's alive, but on a vent. We don't know how much damage there was while her brain was deprived of oxygen. I don't know if she'll ever come off the vent. I'm sorry."

"Thank you, Susan," Abby said, getting up and giving her friend a hug. "Whatever happens, thank you so much for saving her." Susan nodded, and Abby could see now that she'd been crying too.

"Do you want to see her?" Abby's eyes welled up with tears once more. She desperately wanted to be with her daughter, but she didn't know if she could watch her, lying on a gurney, tubes coming out of her. That just wasn't her little Vanessa.

"Yeah," Carter answered, coming up behind her and wrapping an arm around her waist. She leant into him and sighed sadly.

"I don't know if I can do this."

"Sure you can." He placed a kiss on her cheek. "We'll do it together. Nessa needs us." She nodded, and they followed Susan to trauma two. As soon as they entered Abby gasped at the sight before her, and buried her head in Carter's chest. He rubbed her back, trying to comfort her even as more tears were forming in his own eyes.

"I'm just outside if you need anything," Susan said as she pulled a chair up next to the bed for them, and then left the room.

"Abby," he whispered to her, gently lifting her head off his chest, and forcing her to look at him. "You have to be strong for her."

"I'm sick of being strong, John," she cried, holding onto him tightly. "I'm sick of having to cope with all the bad stuff happening to me just when I think I've got my life right."

"I know," he replied sadly. "Come on, let's go and see our daughter." He slowly led her over to the gurney where Vanessa was lying.

"She looks so peaceful," Abby whispered, reaching out and gently touching her daughter's hand. "She's so beautiful. I don't want to lose her."

"We're not going to lose her." Carter sat down on the chair, and gently pulled Abby down to sit on his lap. She leant back against him, allowing him to just hold her.

"We don't know that, not for sure."

"No, we don't. But you've seen cases like this before. She's lucky to be alive now. That says to me that she's a fighter."

"Yeah," she answered, although she didn't sound entirely convinced. She leant forwards and kissed Vanessa's head, before leaning back and burying her head in Carter's chest again as she sobbed. All he could do was rub her back and whisper comforting words to her as she cried uncontrollably.

Gradually her sobs began to subside as she fell asleep in his arms. He kissed the top of her head gently, tears glistening in his eyes. "I love you. I know you can be strong," he whispered, before looking back to their daughter. She looked so vulnerable and tiny lying in the middle of the gurney. He reached out a hand and brushed it over her soft downy hair. "Hey Nessie. It's Daddy," he whispered, watching her constantly. "I don't know if you can hear me, but you've got to pull through this. I don't know what Mummy and I would do without you, my little butterfly. Please fight for us. We love you so much."

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