See first chapter for disclaimer.
Driving up the Cohen driveway, Marissa was determined to make things work. It was late, past eleven, but she knew Ryan would be up. She walked around back toward the pool house. 'What am I doing' she thought to her self as she reached her had up to the glass pane.
*knock knock*
Ryan was sitting on his bed in his infamous wife beater and boxers. 'If that's Luke, I'm going to go psycho on his jock ass' he thought as he walked up to the door. Opening the door Ryan found a hopeful looking Marissa. He looked almost happy to see her. Marissa noticed the look on his face. Before she knew what she was doing, she launched herself into his arms and kissed him hard on the lips. 'Well, this is one way to do it' Marissa thought. Ryan was shocked, and well, a little happy. Who wouldn't be with a girl like this in his arms? But then; he started to remember...the one word that had torn them apart, the person that would never leave his thoughts...Oliver. He pushed her down and aimed his eyes towards the floor. Marissa was confused, but when she met Ryan's face, she knew. He was still angry at her because of Oliver. A look of sadness, then suddenly of realization flashed across her face.
"God, are you ever going to just forgive me?" a peeved Marissa asked.
Ryan was taken aback, "I thought we had talked about this"
"Ryan, I messed up, I know, alright! But who wouldn't of in my place. I was weak and hurt, and it was like he knew what I was going through. You were being so perfect. I felt like you were too good for me."
"Marissa..."
"No, let me talk. I couldn't talk to you about the things I had did, because I messed up, and I knew I messed up, and I was afraid that I would mess you up right along with me. But then Oliver was there at the sessions, and he seemed to know exactly what I was going through, just right off the bat, and it was like, here is someone I can talk to about this stuff. And eventually he just sucked me in."
"You could have came to me"
"Just like you love to come to me and tell me about all your days in Chino?" Marissa crossed her arms.
"That's not the same thing"
"How is that not the same?? Chino is a time in your life you weren't proud of. Well Tijuana was that time for me. Oliver was willing to talk about his Chino and Tijuana. And soon, it just became like...He needed me. And then all that other crap happened. I'm sorry I didn't trust you, and I know there is no excuse for what I did, but hell, it's not like you never make mistakes. I mean...we all do, right?"
"I just...I don't know how it can be the same again" Ryan sat down on his bed.
"It doesn't have to be the same. It could be better. Listen Ryan, I know you still care about me, and I know you want me and you to work. The only thing keeping us apart is you, because you won't forgive me. And I just don't understand..." Marissa moved over next to Ryan on the bed.
"I'm afraid, you know? We both put a lot into what we had. I've never done that before. I mean, with Theresa it was just fun and nothing serious and it was just....expected. But then with you it was like..."
"Intense..."
"Yeah, and then Oliver happened and something that was so passionate was falling apart. I got hurt Marissa, and I don't want to feel like that again."
Marissa was shocked that Ryan had just told her all of this.
"I can't promise you that you won't be hurt again, just like you can't promise me that I won't be hurt. I'm scared too, I'm scared that I'm going to hurt you, or myself again. But then every time I look at you...I remember, and it's just like...you're worth it. And if I'm not worth it to you, then I'll stop but..."
"Marissa, you will always be worth it." Ryan stated quietly.
"I guess what I'm asking is...am I worth forgiving? Are we worth this to you?" Marissa stood up. "I'm not asking for an answer now, but just...I wanted to ask you." She walked towards the door and turned back once to Ryan. Giving him a small smile, she left the pool house.
Driving up the Cohen driveway, Marissa was determined to make things work. It was late, past eleven, but she knew Ryan would be up. She walked around back toward the pool house. 'What am I doing' she thought to her self as she reached her had up to the glass pane.
*knock knock*
Ryan was sitting on his bed in his infamous wife beater and boxers. 'If that's Luke, I'm going to go psycho on his jock ass' he thought as he walked up to the door. Opening the door Ryan found a hopeful looking Marissa. He looked almost happy to see her. Marissa noticed the look on his face. Before she knew what she was doing, she launched herself into his arms and kissed him hard on the lips. 'Well, this is one way to do it' Marissa thought. Ryan was shocked, and well, a little happy. Who wouldn't be with a girl like this in his arms? But then; he started to remember...the one word that had torn them apart, the person that would never leave his thoughts...Oliver. He pushed her down and aimed his eyes towards the floor. Marissa was confused, but when she met Ryan's face, she knew. He was still angry at her because of Oliver. A look of sadness, then suddenly of realization flashed across her face.
"God, are you ever going to just forgive me?" a peeved Marissa asked.
Ryan was taken aback, "I thought we had talked about this"
"Ryan, I messed up, I know, alright! But who wouldn't of in my place. I was weak and hurt, and it was like he knew what I was going through. You were being so perfect. I felt like you were too good for me."
"Marissa..."
"No, let me talk. I couldn't talk to you about the things I had did, because I messed up, and I knew I messed up, and I was afraid that I would mess you up right along with me. But then Oliver was there at the sessions, and he seemed to know exactly what I was going through, just right off the bat, and it was like, here is someone I can talk to about this stuff. And eventually he just sucked me in."
"You could have came to me"
"Just like you love to come to me and tell me about all your days in Chino?" Marissa crossed her arms.
"That's not the same thing"
"How is that not the same?? Chino is a time in your life you weren't proud of. Well Tijuana was that time for me. Oliver was willing to talk about his Chino and Tijuana. And soon, it just became like...He needed me. And then all that other crap happened. I'm sorry I didn't trust you, and I know there is no excuse for what I did, but hell, it's not like you never make mistakes. I mean...we all do, right?"
"I just...I don't know how it can be the same again" Ryan sat down on his bed.
"It doesn't have to be the same. It could be better. Listen Ryan, I know you still care about me, and I know you want me and you to work. The only thing keeping us apart is you, because you won't forgive me. And I just don't understand..." Marissa moved over next to Ryan on the bed.
"I'm afraid, you know? We both put a lot into what we had. I've never done that before. I mean, with Theresa it was just fun and nothing serious and it was just....expected. But then with you it was like..."
"Intense..."
"Yeah, and then Oliver happened and something that was so passionate was falling apart. I got hurt Marissa, and I don't want to feel like that again."
Marissa was shocked that Ryan had just told her all of this.
"I can't promise you that you won't be hurt again, just like you can't promise me that I won't be hurt. I'm scared too, I'm scared that I'm going to hurt you, or myself again. But then every time I look at you...I remember, and it's just like...you're worth it. And if I'm not worth it to you, then I'll stop but..."
"Marissa, you will always be worth it." Ryan stated quietly.
"I guess what I'm asking is...am I worth forgiving? Are we worth this to you?" Marissa stood up. "I'm not asking for an answer now, but just...I wanted to ask you." She walked towards the door and turned back once to Ryan. Giving him a small smile, she left the pool house.