Logan slalomed though the people at the boat's commercial complex, following Jubilee's scent to wherever she was slacking off at the time. Mutants ao every colour, shape and weirdness were buzzing around like bees in a beehive, for once in their life indifferent to the effect their appearance had on the others around them.
A guy with silver hair and shiny purple eyes was flirting with a blushing waitress at the restaurant that Wolverine was passing by at the moment, while a huge Blob-like woman was complaining about her coffee at Starbucks. She wore a mini-skirt of colossal proportions and every time she wiggled her ass in irritation, the lives of the innocent clients behind her were put in high danger.
Logan however had to ignore both incidents (which would have been interesting to watch under other circumstances), because he "saw" Jubilee's scent-trail leading into a small bar.
"Got'cha!" he exclaimed triumphantly and stepped in, without mentioning the sign with the bar's name inscripted on it. It wrote: "Rectum".
After several minutes of scanning the upper deck for hot babes, Bobby had finally located two exquisitely hot targets; two babes were standing by the gratings at another side of the ship, enjoying the fresh salty air that howled on them.
They looked totally different from each other; and that excluded the possibility of them being sisters. One was a Californian-like blonde chick with blue eyes and…breasts of epic proportions, while the other one had short black hair in a French coupe, honey-coloured eyes and petite-lean body, while everything on her practically screamed her French nationality.
Both the girls had shot some secretive glances toward Bobby's direction, but they didn't seem to bother sharing whispers with each other, something that should betray indifference from their side. Could they be telepaths, perhaps? Maybe they were mentally talking about him right now, arguing over which one would sleep with him.
That thought made Bobby approach them with determination and high self-esteem.
"How ya doing?" he shot at them seductively, instantaneously pointing his chin at them. Nah, too much of a cliche.
That could explain why the babes didn't seem to pay attention to him at all.
"Uhm...I'm Bobby, by the way", he announced, somewhat intimidated.
Now both girls were clearly looking at him, but still said nothing, pretending like they didn't comprehended what he had said. They both averted their eyes from him and looked anywhere else they could, obviously trying to avoid him.
"We do have a splendid weather today...perfect for...cruising" Bobby kept babbling. He was already humiliated, after all.
The girls just smiled at him innocently. And they remained silent.
"This is going to be hard..." he thought to himself in despair.
Wolverine sniffed his way and oriented himself into the newly found bar. He didn't need to keep sniffing however, since the striking yellow of Jubilee's leather coat was very distinctive in the ocean of black leather-clad men.
"Hey, wait a minute..."
Logan finally used his eyes instead of his nostrils to look around and finally acknowledge his whereabouts. He found himself into a big crowd of men.
The bar was full of mutant guys who stared at him with great interest, some of them salivating at the sight of his short but compact frame.
Logan hastily approached Jubilee and grabbed her arm.
"What are you doing in a gay bar, you sneaky critter..." he asked, somewhere between being bewildered and bemused.
"They...they wanted to kill me, Wolvie!" she said with terror in her voice.
"Who did? Was it the guy with the moustache and black vinyl bra over there? Or was it the other one with the hot pink ponytail?" his claws were itching for a little exercise by now.
"No...Not these kind guys in here...it was the old ladies who lost to me at Bingo!" she finally exposed him to the horrid truth. "I just walked in here 'cause I knew that the old hags would never set their foot in such a place! And the guys didn't mind a helpless teenage girl staying for a while in an 'all guys' bar..." she exchanged thankful looks with the horridly cross-dressed barman, who was currently cleaning some mint-coloured beer glasses.
"So, the guys have offered you a hide-out...how kind of them" Logan whispered in relief. "Are you ready to go to your cabin now?"
"No... Logan!" The old ladies might still be out there! Let's stay here at least until...say, nine o'clock? The witches should be asleep by then and I'll feel safe enough to get out of here."
"Oh, whatever..." Logan said. At least the girl was safe and sound. Same could go for Iceboy out there too. He could afford spending a few hours in there...he had been at scarier places anyway! "BARMAN!" he finally yelled at the guy behind the bar who had just adjusted his lime green skirt that matched perfectly with his fuchsia tank top. The barman raised his head above the bar's level and eyed him.
"Get me some beer... and some apple juice for the young lady here!" he completed his request, ignoring Jubilee's pouting.
After what must have been the lousiest attempt on flirting on a girl ever, Bobby accepted his total failure at coming on the two babes (who were still mysteriously speechless) and abandoned them, muttering a "Bye" for typical reasons only.
"Damned bitches", he thought to himself. "at least you could pretend you didn't see me at all instead of looking at me with those luscious eyes of yours and refusing to even talk!" He was really pissed off, and a chilly string of steam was coming out of his snorting nostrils. He always hated it when the prey pretended to be too busy to bother themselves with his company, and even more when they pretended they never saw him at all, but right now he would prefer being stomped by elephants to what happened today! Those bitchin' babes were just toying with him! They were totally aware of his presence and effort to meet them but t4
Disappointment flooding his brain, Bobby sat on a barstool by the upper deck's mini-bar, the one beside the pool. He ordered a drink and let himself be swallowed by the reverie building in his mind, the memories of every relationship or non-relationship he had destroyed until today.
"Hello, cutie! Why are you so sad?" a lively voice woke him up from his pain-inducing thoughts and made him look at the woman that had sat beside him.
Bobby couldn't help himself from gasping, much to the unknown woman's pleasure. His reaction brought a smile upon her lips.
She was the most beautiful creature he had ever set his eyes upon; for him at last. She had exactly what his ideal woman consisted of; luscious green hair, two strands of which were hanging on each side of her forehead.
She also had a pair of black, pearl-like eyes that were accented by her long eyelashes. She had a skull earring hanging from each of her biteable ears and she also wore some very big and baggy hip-hop pants that accented perfectly her skimpy tank top(mostly looking like a bra) that was clinging like a second skin on her upper torso.
The Perfect Woman across him spoke again, her voice echoing like a sweet nocturnal melody in his ears:
"My name is Evita. Wanna share your thoughts?"
Right then, the barman behind the bar they had been sitting by somehow managed to miss the bottle that he was skilfully manoeuvring at the time, letting it fall on the already vodka-loaded glasses he had prepared earlier. All together, bottle and glasses crashed on the floor and smashed into many little shiny pieces.
"Sorry", he apologised at Bobby and his newfound treat for tonight and then started cleaning the mess up, all the time murmuring about bad luck and what an expert he really was at doing bartender tricks up to then.
Not very far from the aforementioned mini-bar, the two babes that Bobby had been coming on earlier finally spoke to each other, but not via vocal means; they instead used the language of the mutes, which will be directly translated in English in the next few lines.
"Lola...why was that cute guy talking to us?" the French looking brunette "said" to the other woman.
"I think he was coming on us, Michelle. And, damn, was he a hottie! Too bad none of us could initiate a relationship with him, and we couldn't even explain at him why we wouldn't talk to him!", the blonde bimbo said.
"Yeah, I mean, he could actually talk, although I couldn't read his lips properly! He wasn't mute like he should be! Shame on him for coming on a 'mute-only' cruise like this one is supposed to be! He probably did it cause the 'mute-only' cruises are much cheaper due to our disabilities!" Michelle responded, and was so furious she almost broke her fingernail on the grating while "talking".
"It's a bit weird, though. We're two days on this cruising ship and still haven't encountered anybody unable to speak like we are! I mean, do these people realise they're diminishing our rights by taking a 'mute-only' cruise? Why embark on the ship if they're vocally functional? And I'm still freaked out at the green lizard-like freak that we saw at the reception! I mean, can't he tell a "mute" apart form a "mutie"? Duh!"
The two mute bimbos kept chatting manually, oblivious to what their incredible stupidity had brought them into.
A guy with silver hair and shiny purple eyes was flirting with a blushing waitress at the restaurant that Wolverine was passing by at the moment, while a huge Blob-like woman was complaining about her coffee at Starbucks. She wore a mini-skirt of colossal proportions and every time she wiggled her ass in irritation, the lives of the innocent clients behind her were put in high danger.
Logan however had to ignore both incidents (which would have been interesting to watch under other circumstances), because he "saw" Jubilee's scent-trail leading into a small bar.
"Got'cha!" he exclaimed triumphantly and stepped in, without mentioning the sign with the bar's name inscripted on it. It wrote: "Rectum".
After several minutes of scanning the upper deck for hot babes, Bobby had finally located two exquisitely hot targets; two babes were standing by the gratings at another side of the ship, enjoying the fresh salty air that howled on them.
They looked totally different from each other; and that excluded the possibility of them being sisters. One was a Californian-like blonde chick with blue eyes and…breasts of epic proportions, while the other one had short black hair in a French coupe, honey-coloured eyes and petite-lean body, while everything on her practically screamed her French nationality.
Both the girls had shot some secretive glances toward Bobby's direction, but they didn't seem to bother sharing whispers with each other, something that should betray indifference from their side. Could they be telepaths, perhaps? Maybe they were mentally talking about him right now, arguing over which one would sleep with him.
That thought made Bobby approach them with determination and high self-esteem.
"How ya doing?" he shot at them seductively, instantaneously pointing his chin at them. Nah, too much of a cliche.
That could explain why the babes didn't seem to pay attention to him at all.
"Uhm...I'm Bobby, by the way", he announced, somewhat intimidated.
Now both girls were clearly looking at him, but still said nothing, pretending like they didn't comprehended what he had said. They both averted their eyes from him and looked anywhere else they could, obviously trying to avoid him.
"We do have a splendid weather today...perfect for...cruising" Bobby kept babbling. He was already humiliated, after all.
The girls just smiled at him innocently. And they remained silent.
"This is going to be hard..." he thought to himself in despair.
Wolverine sniffed his way and oriented himself into the newly found bar. He didn't need to keep sniffing however, since the striking yellow of Jubilee's leather coat was very distinctive in the ocean of black leather-clad men.
"Hey, wait a minute..."
Logan finally used his eyes instead of his nostrils to look around and finally acknowledge his whereabouts. He found himself into a big crowd of men.
The bar was full of mutant guys who stared at him with great interest, some of them salivating at the sight of his short but compact frame.
Logan hastily approached Jubilee and grabbed her arm.
"What are you doing in a gay bar, you sneaky critter..." he asked, somewhere between being bewildered and bemused.
"They...they wanted to kill me, Wolvie!" she said with terror in her voice.
"Who did? Was it the guy with the moustache and black vinyl bra over there? Or was it the other one with the hot pink ponytail?" his claws were itching for a little exercise by now.
"No...Not these kind guys in here...it was the old ladies who lost to me at Bingo!" she finally exposed him to the horrid truth. "I just walked in here 'cause I knew that the old hags would never set their foot in such a place! And the guys didn't mind a helpless teenage girl staying for a while in an 'all guys' bar..." she exchanged thankful looks with the horridly cross-dressed barman, who was currently cleaning some mint-coloured beer glasses.
"So, the guys have offered you a hide-out...how kind of them" Logan whispered in relief. "Are you ready to go to your cabin now?"
"No... Logan!" The old ladies might still be out there! Let's stay here at least until...say, nine o'clock? The witches should be asleep by then and I'll feel safe enough to get out of here."
"Oh, whatever..." Logan said. At least the girl was safe and sound. Same could go for Iceboy out there too. He could afford spending a few hours in there...he had been at scarier places anyway! "BARMAN!" he finally yelled at the guy behind the bar who had just adjusted his lime green skirt that matched perfectly with his fuchsia tank top. The barman raised his head above the bar's level and eyed him.
"Get me some beer... and some apple juice for the young lady here!" he completed his request, ignoring Jubilee's pouting.
After what must have been the lousiest attempt on flirting on a girl ever, Bobby accepted his total failure at coming on the two babes (who were still mysteriously speechless) and abandoned them, muttering a "Bye" for typical reasons only.
"Damned bitches", he thought to himself. "at least you could pretend you didn't see me at all instead of looking at me with those luscious eyes of yours and refusing to even talk!" He was really pissed off, and a chilly string of steam was coming out of his snorting nostrils. He always hated it when the prey pretended to be too busy to bother themselves with his company, and even more when they pretended they never saw him at all, but right now he would prefer being stomped by elephants to what happened today! Those bitchin' babes were just toying with him! They were totally aware of his presence and effort to meet them but t4
Disappointment flooding his brain, Bobby sat on a barstool by the upper deck's mini-bar, the one beside the pool. He ordered a drink and let himself be swallowed by the reverie building in his mind, the memories of every relationship or non-relationship he had destroyed until today.
"Hello, cutie! Why are you so sad?" a lively voice woke him up from his pain-inducing thoughts and made him look at the woman that had sat beside him.
Bobby couldn't help himself from gasping, much to the unknown woman's pleasure. His reaction brought a smile upon her lips.
She was the most beautiful creature he had ever set his eyes upon; for him at last. She had exactly what his ideal woman consisted of; luscious green hair, two strands of which were hanging on each side of her forehead.
She also had a pair of black, pearl-like eyes that were accented by her long eyelashes. She had a skull earring hanging from each of her biteable ears and she also wore some very big and baggy hip-hop pants that accented perfectly her skimpy tank top(mostly looking like a bra) that was clinging like a second skin on her upper torso.
The Perfect Woman across him spoke again, her voice echoing like a sweet nocturnal melody in his ears:
"My name is Evita. Wanna share your thoughts?"
Right then, the barman behind the bar they had been sitting by somehow managed to miss the bottle that he was skilfully manoeuvring at the time, letting it fall on the already vodka-loaded glasses he had prepared earlier. All together, bottle and glasses crashed on the floor and smashed into many little shiny pieces.
"Sorry", he apologised at Bobby and his newfound treat for tonight and then started cleaning the mess up, all the time murmuring about bad luck and what an expert he really was at doing bartender tricks up to then.
Not very far from the aforementioned mini-bar, the two babes that Bobby had been coming on earlier finally spoke to each other, but not via vocal means; they instead used the language of the mutes, which will be directly translated in English in the next few lines.
"Lola...why was that cute guy talking to us?" the French looking brunette "said" to the other woman.
"I think he was coming on us, Michelle. And, damn, was he a hottie! Too bad none of us could initiate a relationship with him, and we couldn't even explain at him why we wouldn't talk to him!", the blonde bimbo said.
"Yeah, I mean, he could actually talk, although I couldn't read his lips properly! He wasn't mute like he should be! Shame on him for coming on a 'mute-only' cruise like this one is supposed to be! He probably did it cause the 'mute-only' cruises are much cheaper due to our disabilities!" Michelle responded, and was so furious she almost broke her fingernail on the grating while "talking".
"It's a bit weird, though. We're two days on this cruising ship and still haven't encountered anybody unable to speak like we are! I mean, do these people realise they're diminishing our rights by taking a 'mute-only' cruise? Why embark on the ship if they're vocally functional? And I'm still freaked out at the green lizard-like freak that we saw at the reception! I mean, can't he tell a "mute" apart form a "mutie"? Duh!"
The two mute bimbos kept chatting manually, oblivious to what their incredible stupidity had brought them into.