Mutants of the Caribbean
Scene Twenty-one: A Big Shiny Helmet
Lance was lead slowly through the tunnels by Remy as the other pirates rushed ahead. He could help feeling that he'd failed Kitty. Right now she was off on some desert island with Toad and her only options seemed to be starved or, if Toad was courteous enough, shot. "Don' worry, mon ami, it's just a lil' blood." Remy tried to condole the very depressed youth.
Alex turned back after hearing what remy had said, "Sorry, dude, but your only half-Alvers. We have to spill it all." The blond pirate stated with a shrug.
"Guess dere be somethin' to worry 'bout after all." Remy muttered to Pyro as Magneto took Lance and half-dragged him up to the treasure chest where all the other gold medallions were stored. In truth Lance was worried, very worried, but not about his own safety.
Mean while Toad had finally gotten Colossus to let him have a little chat with his old crew. He rowed one of the Dauntless's lifeboats out to the cavern and followed the other pirates into the treasure room. He arrived just in time to catch the end of Magneto's little speech, which was lucky for him since the others were all to wrapped up in their Captain's words to realize it was Toad pushing his way through the crowd. "Outta my way, yo?" He grunted slipping past Sabretooth.
"Begun by blood. . ." Magneto purred lowering his blade to Lance's throat.
"Move." Toad yelled angrily at the tightly knit group in front of him. Getting no response from the entranced mutants Toad sighed in defeat and merely leapt over their heads landing right in front of Magneto and Lance.
". . .by blood un-" Magneto stopped and removed his blade from Lance's neck taking a step back in shock.
"Toad!" Lance gasped as he looked up at him in disbelief.
"Impossible." Magneto sputtered as all the other pirates simply continued to stare.
"Nothin's impossible, yo?" Toad quipped with a confident grin.
"Where's Kitty?" Lance asked wide-eyed with worry.
"She's safe, as I promised." Toad explained causing Lance to sigh in relief. "She's gonna marry the Commodore, like, she promised. And your going to die for her, as you promised. So, were all mutants of our words, yo?" As Toad had continued with his explanation Lance's mood dropped with each added detail.
Magneto had recovered from his sense of awe at Toad's not being dead and was now simply annoyed by his antics yet again. "That's it! Your next in line to have his blood drained, Toad." Magneto growled angrily as he placed his blade to Lance's throat again.
"I wouldn't do that, yo?" Toad asserted cunningly just as Magneto was about to spill Lance's blood.
Magneto looked up at Toad who continued to grin stupidly at him "That's partially why I want you dead." Was all he said before turning his attention back to Lance's throat.
"Your funeral." Toad quipped annoyingly.
Magneto sighed as he removed his blade from Lance's throat once more. "Why wouldn't you do it?" He asked in a lackluster tone.
"The Dauntless, with all it's little cannons, is waiting for you right outside, yo?" Toad informed his old first mate with a sly grin.
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However, unknown to Toad the Commodore had decided to modify the plan after sending Toad off to what he figured was his merry doom. Instead of blating the pirates with cannons he'd set up half his crew in lifeboats in hopes of catching the pirate in a crossfire as they exited the cavern. So far all he'd accomplished was confusing a few of his X-Men.
"Vhat are ve doing here?" Kurt asked Evan with a look of confusion.
Evan sighed, "Man, weren't you listening? We're gonna catch the pirates by surprise in a crossfire."
"I know vhy ve're here." Kurt stated indignantly. "Vhat I mean ees vhy arn't ve using za cannons like Tolensky said?"
"Because it was Mr. Tolensky that said it." A very grim Commodore Colossus muttered from where he sat in the bow putting an end to the two X-Mens' conversation.
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"All you have to do is send your crew out in there little boats, they do what they do best." Toad continued, "Bada bing bada boom, now you've got two ships. Of course you'll take the Dauntless as your flagship, but what about the Pearl?" Toad asked rhetorically, "Make me Captain of the Pearl, yo? I'll give you ten percent of the loot and you can introduce yourself as Commodore Magneto."
Magneto looked at Toad suspiciously while he considered the offer. "I suppose you don't want me to kill the fool." He grumbled.
Toad looked down at Lance as if he were in the way. "Go ahead, kill him, but not yet." He warned as he picked up a handful of medallions and dropped them one by one back into the chest for effect. "Wait for the right moment, after you've killed the X-men. . . every. . . last. . . one."
Lance stared at Toad crossly, as he watched him drop the gold pieces in the chest. Lance realized something though Toad had picked up four of the medallions, he'd only put three back. Lance looked over at Magneto, the older mutant seemed to have missed this vital detail. Suddenly it all clicked together in Lance's head. "You've been planing this ever since you learned my name!" Lance yelled as he struggled to free himself if only to die trying to kill the now cursed and un-killable Captain Toad Tolensky.
"Yeah." Toad admitted with a slight shrug showing he felt no remorse for condemning Lance and those aboard the Dauntless to death.
"I want fifty percent." Magneto interrupted.
"Fifteen." Toad shot back.
"Forty." Magneto bargained.
"Twenty-five and I'll buy you a helmet, a big shiny helmet, Commodore." Toad said with an unfortunate grin already knowing the deal was set.
Magneto pondered the new offer for a second, but he couldn't resist the thought of a battle helmet. "Agreed."
Toad clapped his hands together excitedly and turned back to the pirates that had been watching the whole scene with growing anticipation for blood shed. "To the boats!" Toad shouted receiving only blank stares in return Toad reminded himself sadly that they weren't his crew anymore. "Right, sorry, yo? You give the orders." He muttered solemnly to Magneto.
"Brothers!" Magneto called out, "Take a walk." He ordered before turning back to a very perplexed Toad.
"Not to the boats?" Toad asked. Magneto simply smiled at him. Toad cast an uneasy glance at Lance who was still glaring at him with all the hatred he could muster. Suddenly Toad was no longer absolutely certain of his plans success.
Cast:
Elizabeth Swann Katherine "Kitty" Pryde
Will Turner Lance Alvers
Commodore Norrington Piotr "Colossus" Rasputin
Captain Jack Sparrow Todd "Toad" Tolensky
Murtogg Kurt Wagner
Mullroy Evan Daniels
Pintel Remy Lebeau
Ragetti St. John Allerdyce
Twigg Alex Summers
Bo'sun Victor Creed
Barbossa Eric Magnus Lensherr
Next Chapter: Bloody Pirates
Reviewer Response: Nite Sky asked why the Power8 didn't kill Todd and Kitty. Let me start by saying we are aware of Power8 toxicity. Obviously we just toned down the effects for the sake of our parody.
Actually we were using Power8/Rum parodies before we started this fic. Perhaps you've heard of PowerAid? It's a sports drink that they're selling all over around here, including at our schools. Well anyway the first time Half-N-Half, HomeGrown, and I found a vending machine full of the stuff we just had to buy a couple bottles to play around with. Of course we started with the typical 'Don't do it! Power8's (suicide's) not the answer!' as we pretended to choke and die as typical of the OC no one really noticed or cared. Feeling our efforts were unappreciated by the general public we decided to fall back on the next best thing and start singing "Yo Ho Yo Ho a brothers life for me!" in mock drunkenness while swinging around our clearly non-alcoholic beverages of course yet again none of the locals out at the time batted an eyelash.
So, when it came to the part about Rum, although Rum is very amusing, especially in candy form. We simply had to use Power8 for it is truly a vile drink and of course Colossus would ban it from his ports. Probably one of the smartest things he does in the entire fanfic.
Yes, and let me warn you all that even though you may think it good and helpful to warn your fellow classmates about the dangers of drinking power8 teachers tend to frown upon it when you yell at the would be drinker that "POWER8 IS NOT THE ANSWER!" That and usually you'll get quite a few odd looks from your fellow students.
Scene Twenty-one: A Big Shiny Helmet
Lance was lead slowly through the tunnels by Remy as the other pirates rushed ahead. He could help feeling that he'd failed Kitty. Right now she was off on some desert island with Toad and her only options seemed to be starved or, if Toad was courteous enough, shot. "Don' worry, mon ami, it's just a lil' blood." Remy tried to condole the very depressed youth.
Alex turned back after hearing what remy had said, "Sorry, dude, but your only half-Alvers. We have to spill it all." The blond pirate stated with a shrug.
"Guess dere be somethin' to worry 'bout after all." Remy muttered to Pyro as Magneto took Lance and half-dragged him up to the treasure chest where all the other gold medallions were stored. In truth Lance was worried, very worried, but not about his own safety.
Mean while Toad had finally gotten Colossus to let him have a little chat with his old crew. He rowed one of the Dauntless's lifeboats out to the cavern and followed the other pirates into the treasure room. He arrived just in time to catch the end of Magneto's little speech, which was lucky for him since the others were all to wrapped up in their Captain's words to realize it was Toad pushing his way through the crowd. "Outta my way, yo?" He grunted slipping past Sabretooth.
"Begun by blood. . ." Magneto purred lowering his blade to Lance's throat.
"Move." Toad yelled angrily at the tightly knit group in front of him. Getting no response from the entranced mutants Toad sighed in defeat and merely leapt over their heads landing right in front of Magneto and Lance.
". . .by blood un-" Magneto stopped and removed his blade from Lance's neck taking a step back in shock.
"Toad!" Lance gasped as he looked up at him in disbelief.
"Impossible." Magneto sputtered as all the other pirates simply continued to stare.
"Nothin's impossible, yo?" Toad quipped with a confident grin.
"Where's Kitty?" Lance asked wide-eyed with worry.
"She's safe, as I promised." Toad explained causing Lance to sigh in relief. "She's gonna marry the Commodore, like, she promised. And your going to die for her, as you promised. So, were all mutants of our words, yo?" As Toad had continued with his explanation Lance's mood dropped with each added detail.
Magneto had recovered from his sense of awe at Toad's not being dead and was now simply annoyed by his antics yet again. "That's it! Your next in line to have his blood drained, Toad." Magneto growled angrily as he placed his blade to Lance's throat again.
"I wouldn't do that, yo?" Toad asserted cunningly just as Magneto was about to spill Lance's blood.
Magneto looked up at Toad who continued to grin stupidly at him "That's partially why I want you dead." Was all he said before turning his attention back to Lance's throat.
"Your funeral." Toad quipped annoyingly.
Magneto sighed as he removed his blade from Lance's throat once more. "Why wouldn't you do it?" He asked in a lackluster tone.
"The Dauntless, with all it's little cannons, is waiting for you right outside, yo?" Toad informed his old first mate with a sly grin.
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX
However, unknown to Toad the Commodore had decided to modify the plan after sending Toad off to what he figured was his merry doom. Instead of blating the pirates with cannons he'd set up half his crew in lifeboats in hopes of catching the pirate in a crossfire as they exited the cavern. So far all he'd accomplished was confusing a few of his X-Men.
"Vhat are ve doing here?" Kurt asked Evan with a look of confusion.
Evan sighed, "Man, weren't you listening? We're gonna catch the pirates by surprise in a crossfire."
"I know vhy ve're here." Kurt stated indignantly. "Vhat I mean ees vhy arn't ve using za cannons like Tolensky said?"
"Because it was Mr. Tolensky that said it." A very grim Commodore Colossus muttered from where he sat in the bow putting an end to the two X-Mens' conversation.
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX
"All you have to do is send your crew out in there little boats, they do what they do best." Toad continued, "Bada bing bada boom, now you've got two ships. Of course you'll take the Dauntless as your flagship, but what about the Pearl?" Toad asked rhetorically, "Make me Captain of the Pearl, yo? I'll give you ten percent of the loot and you can introduce yourself as Commodore Magneto."
Magneto looked at Toad suspiciously while he considered the offer. "I suppose you don't want me to kill the fool." He grumbled.
Toad looked down at Lance as if he were in the way. "Go ahead, kill him, but not yet." He warned as he picked up a handful of medallions and dropped them one by one back into the chest for effect. "Wait for the right moment, after you've killed the X-men. . . every. . . last. . . one."
Lance stared at Toad crossly, as he watched him drop the gold pieces in the chest. Lance realized something though Toad had picked up four of the medallions, he'd only put three back. Lance looked over at Magneto, the older mutant seemed to have missed this vital detail. Suddenly it all clicked together in Lance's head. "You've been planing this ever since you learned my name!" Lance yelled as he struggled to free himself if only to die trying to kill the now cursed and un-killable Captain Toad Tolensky.
"Yeah." Toad admitted with a slight shrug showing he felt no remorse for condemning Lance and those aboard the Dauntless to death.
"I want fifty percent." Magneto interrupted.
"Fifteen." Toad shot back.
"Forty." Magneto bargained.
"Twenty-five and I'll buy you a helmet, a big shiny helmet, Commodore." Toad said with an unfortunate grin already knowing the deal was set.
Magneto pondered the new offer for a second, but he couldn't resist the thought of a battle helmet. "Agreed."
Toad clapped his hands together excitedly and turned back to the pirates that had been watching the whole scene with growing anticipation for blood shed. "To the boats!" Toad shouted receiving only blank stares in return Toad reminded himself sadly that they weren't his crew anymore. "Right, sorry, yo? You give the orders." He muttered solemnly to Magneto.
"Brothers!" Magneto called out, "Take a walk." He ordered before turning back to a very perplexed Toad.
"Not to the boats?" Toad asked. Magneto simply smiled at him. Toad cast an uneasy glance at Lance who was still glaring at him with all the hatred he could muster. Suddenly Toad was no longer absolutely certain of his plans success.
Cast:
Elizabeth Swann Katherine "Kitty" Pryde
Will Turner Lance Alvers
Commodore Norrington Piotr "Colossus" Rasputin
Captain Jack Sparrow Todd "Toad" Tolensky
Murtogg Kurt Wagner
Mullroy Evan Daniels
Pintel Remy Lebeau
Ragetti St. John Allerdyce
Twigg Alex Summers
Bo'sun Victor Creed
Barbossa Eric Magnus Lensherr
Next Chapter: Bloody Pirates
Reviewer Response: Nite Sky asked why the Power8 didn't kill Todd and Kitty. Let me start by saying we are aware of Power8 toxicity. Obviously we just toned down the effects for the sake of our parody.
Actually we were using Power8/Rum parodies before we started this fic. Perhaps you've heard of PowerAid? It's a sports drink that they're selling all over around here, including at our schools. Well anyway the first time Half-N-Half, HomeGrown, and I found a vending machine full of the stuff we just had to buy a couple bottles to play around with. Of course we started with the typical 'Don't do it! Power8's (suicide's) not the answer!' as we pretended to choke and die as typical of the OC no one really noticed or cared. Feeling our efforts were unappreciated by the general public we decided to fall back on the next best thing and start singing "Yo Ho Yo Ho a brothers life for me!" in mock drunkenness while swinging around our clearly non-alcoholic beverages of course yet again none of the locals out at the time batted an eyelash.
So, when it came to the part about Rum, although Rum is very amusing, especially in candy form. We simply had to use Power8 for it is truly a vile drink and of course Colossus would ban it from his ports. Probably one of the smartest things he does in the entire fanfic.
Yes, and let me warn you all that even though you may think it good and helpful to warn your fellow classmates about the dangers of drinking power8 teachers tend to frown upon it when you yell at the would be drinker that "POWER8 IS NOT THE ANSWER!" That and usually you'll get quite a few odd looks from your fellow students.