Mark watched Melissa silently walk into his room. "Fine. Walk away.
Ignore me." Mark mumbled, disgusted. "This is one of the reasons I gave
up on women and started dating guys in the first place!" He hollered in
the direction of his bedroom as he heard the knock on the apartment door.
"Hi!" Maureen said, bouncing through the door in her usual style, followed by Joanne and Collins.
"Hi." He said sourly.
"Uh oh. What's wrong?" Collins asked, grinning slightly as he set down the bag of Chinese takeout they had brought with them.
"Mark are you okay?" Joanne asked concerned.
"No. Not at all."
"Where's my wonton soup?" Maureen asked, more worried about her dinner than Mark.
"What's wrong sweetie?" Joanne asked, throwing a look at Maureen.
"Roger's gonna kill me."
This caught Maureen's attention and her head popped up. She stopped digging through the bag. She loved juicy gossip, and while she really had no one to share it with, especially considering the only people she could tell where already in the room with her, ever since Roger and Mark had gotten together, little things like this just peaked her interest. "Why? What happened?"
Mark sunk into one of the kitchen chairs. He yanked off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "He's gonna kill me."
"It can't be that bad Mark." Collins told him as he unloaded the food bag.
"Oh yes it is. It's very bad. Roger's gonna kill me and then he's gonna kill Melissa."
"Melissa? What did she do now?" Maureen asked as she opened her soup and started eating.
"She's pregnant." He ran his hands through his hair in frustration.
"Oh no." Joanne said slowly as she sat down at the table. "Really?"
"Yes. God this is a nightmare. It's not like Roger's all that thrilled she's here in the first place."
"That's an understatement!" Maureen announced. "He hates her!"
"Maureen hush!" Joanne scolded her before turning back to Mark. "I don't think he hates her..."
"Yes he hates her. I don't know what he wanted me to do. Jack was kicking her out. She just looked so sad and scared and all. I had to bring her back here. I never thought Roger would be as upset over it as he has been. And now this." He ran his fingers through his hair again. "God the best relationship I've ever been in and it's going to get fucked up because of Melissa!" He dropped his head down onto the table. "God how did this happen?"
"Duh Mark! She had sex!" Maureen told him, somewhat snappily as she was a little annoyed by his last comment about his former relationships.
"Thank you Maureen. You're a big help." He snapped back at her. "This isn't funny! Roger's gonna kill me. He already hates her. And when he finds out she's pregnant he'll want to kick her out and he'll hate her more. And when he finds out it all my fault, he'll never forgive me for this!"
"Your fault?" Collins asked, somewhat surprised. "What exactly happened to make it your fault?"
Mark shook his head. "You remember that week Roger and I were fighting?"
"Ha! You gotta be more specific than that!" Maureen laughed.
"Shut up Maureen!" Joanne, Collins and Mark all yelled at her.
Mark threw an evil look at her before continuing. "Anyway, we were arguing. Over a bunch of stuff. But part of it was over Melissa. And he was getting on my nerves about her. And I'd had a few beers. And then he left for work. And I was still annoyed, so I had a few more beers. And then she started going on and on about going out. And I know I shouldn't have..."
"But you did." Collins said.
"Yes." Mark dropped his head into his hands. "It was just once. I wasn't thinking. I never planned for this to happen. It was only that once. I figured just once wouldn't hurt anything."
"Spoken like a knocked up tenth grader." Collins whispered to Joanne, who smiled. "And now you have to tell Roger?"
"Yes."
Maureen shook her head at him. "Boy is your little boyfriend gonna be pissed!"
"Tell me about it. I'll be lucky if he doesn't kick us both out on our asses."
Just then they heard the key going into the lock on the apartment door. Mark froze as the door opened, revealing Roger.
"Hey! Cool food! Please tell me you got me something." He pulled out a chair, flipped it around and sat on it backwards as everyone just watched him. "What?" He looked at all four of their faces. Finally settling on Mark who had a deer in the headlights look. "What?"
"Um..."
"Just tell him Mark." Collins nudged.
"Yeah, um Rog, I, I gotta tell you something. Something about Melissa."
"Melissa?" He asked, reaching for food. "What did she do now?"
"She um... I mean I um... and she..."
"What?" He asked, getting impatient.
"Just tell him." Collins said again.
Mark took a deep breath and started to spit out all the words. "I'm sorry. I know I said she wouldn't be any trouble, but I'm sorry, we were arguing, and I was drinking and she wanted to go out so bad..."
"You didn't!" His eyebrows went up.
"Yes! I'm sorry. And now she's pregnant! I'm so sorry Roger." Mark grimaced, waiting for the Roger explosion.
Roger closed his eyes for a moment as he shook his head. Slowly he opened them. "I can't believe you did that." He said angrily.
"I'm sorry." Mark squeaked out. "I was drinking. I wasn't thinking."
"Damn straight you weren't thinking! What are you going to do now?"
"I don't know." He shrugged. "I guess that depends on you."
"Forget it. I don't want any part of this. What about Melissa?"
"I don't know. I'm going to find her someplace else to live. I swear. I'm going to call my mom. My mom might like to have her around. Especially when she finds out what happened. Maybe."
"Well work on that!" Roger told him stabbing his Chinese food with his fork.
"You guys are so weird!" Maureen told them as she stuck her fork into Mark's food container to get a bit of his food. "All three of you actually." She rolled her eyes at them. "I mean really, it's like some stupid soap opera." She grinned as she started to speak in her announcer voice. "Mark's in love with Roger, but has a thing for Melissa as well and brings her home when she gets kicked out on the street by Roger's former drummer. Roger hates Melissa and can't stand her living with them and never wastes a moment to let either of them know it. Melissa on the other hand knows Roger hates her so she torments him every chance she gets because she also knows Mark worships her and wouldn't let Roger do anything to her. However, she could care less about Mark's feelings for her at all and all but ignores him. Unless of course she wants something. Join us tomorrow for another episode of 'The Poor and the Pathetic'!" At that Maureen broke into fits of laughter.
At that point Collins and Joanne were laughing too. Both at Maureen's little performance as well as the fact Maureen failed to see the irony in the description she just gave of Melissa. Even Roger had cracked a slight grin. "Man, that does make us sound somewhat pathetic. And she's definitely got you pegged Mark! Totally whipped by Melissa!"
"I am not 'whipped'! And especially by Melissa!"
At that point Melissa came out of Mark's bedroom where she had been sleeping. She walked over to the table, ignored everyone else and sat down right next to Mark.
Roger, who had gotten over some of his anger at the news, looked up at Collins with an evil grin. "I guess that gives new meaning to the term 'pussy whipped'!" He started laughing at his own joked along with everyone else. Everyone else but Mark that is.
"Oh shut up. All of you." He bent down and picked Melissa up off the floor, sitting her in his lap. "Don't listen to them 'Lissa, they're just being stupid." He told her as he stabbed a piece of Roger's chicken and held it out to her.
"I'm being stupid?" Roger joked at Mark. "Who let the supper slut out in the first place? And don't feed her my dinner!"
"Like I said, you guys are just weird." Maureen said, shaking her head. "And who names a cat Melissa in the first place? It's weird!"
Mark rolled his eyes as he petted Melissa. "I already told you, that was her name when I got her. I didn't name her that. But then I suppose if I'd named her Maureen it would have been okay?"
"Of course! But 'Melissa' is just weird for a cat!"
"Should have named her Slut Cat." Roger joked. "That's what she is. Goes outside like once and gets knocked up!" He laughed.
"Oh shut up and eat your dinner!" Mark laughed petting the cat, happy the tension had pasted. For the moment at least.
The End
Author's Note: Well, this is by now means my best work. Actually, I'm not all that happy with it. Since ending my last piece Another Second Chance, I've had plenty of ideas (substantial one, with good meaty plots and story lines) however I haven't had time to do much more than think them through and jot down a few notes. So after having zero time to myself to write (much less do other things) in months, suddenly my darling child has finally entered that age where he can be near me, and play, by himself! Leaving me somewhat undisturbed! So all of a sudden I found myself with some spare time so I seized the moment. Here's the result of that moment. Hopefully it's not as bad to you as it is to me. Either way, if I'm suddenly going to start getting more free time, I want to start writing again. I need to get a little practice in again. So bear with me and think of this more as a writing exercise than a serious piece.
And so you all know, this piece was inspired by the many fics that are currently out there right now. There is a baby boom running through RENT land, so I figured I should get in on it! Lately, if Roger hasn't knocked up Mimi, than Mark or some other random guy is getting Maureen pregnant! All we have left is for Roger to some how knock up Mark and we'd have all the bases covered! And if you are one of the current authors with pregnant characters, I hope you found the humor in this and know I meant no offense!
"Hi!" Maureen said, bouncing through the door in her usual style, followed by Joanne and Collins.
"Hi." He said sourly.
"Uh oh. What's wrong?" Collins asked, grinning slightly as he set down the bag of Chinese takeout they had brought with them.
"Mark are you okay?" Joanne asked concerned.
"No. Not at all."
"Where's my wonton soup?" Maureen asked, more worried about her dinner than Mark.
"What's wrong sweetie?" Joanne asked, throwing a look at Maureen.
"Roger's gonna kill me."
This caught Maureen's attention and her head popped up. She stopped digging through the bag. She loved juicy gossip, and while she really had no one to share it with, especially considering the only people she could tell where already in the room with her, ever since Roger and Mark had gotten together, little things like this just peaked her interest. "Why? What happened?"
Mark sunk into one of the kitchen chairs. He yanked off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "He's gonna kill me."
"It can't be that bad Mark." Collins told him as he unloaded the food bag.
"Oh yes it is. It's very bad. Roger's gonna kill me and then he's gonna kill Melissa."
"Melissa? What did she do now?" Maureen asked as she opened her soup and started eating.
"She's pregnant." He ran his hands through his hair in frustration.
"Oh no." Joanne said slowly as she sat down at the table. "Really?"
"Yes. God this is a nightmare. It's not like Roger's all that thrilled she's here in the first place."
"That's an understatement!" Maureen announced. "He hates her!"
"Maureen hush!" Joanne scolded her before turning back to Mark. "I don't think he hates her..."
"Yes he hates her. I don't know what he wanted me to do. Jack was kicking her out. She just looked so sad and scared and all. I had to bring her back here. I never thought Roger would be as upset over it as he has been. And now this." He ran his fingers through his hair again. "God the best relationship I've ever been in and it's going to get fucked up because of Melissa!" He dropped his head down onto the table. "God how did this happen?"
"Duh Mark! She had sex!" Maureen told him, somewhat snappily as she was a little annoyed by his last comment about his former relationships.
"Thank you Maureen. You're a big help." He snapped back at her. "This isn't funny! Roger's gonna kill me. He already hates her. And when he finds out she's pregnant he'll want to kick her out and he'll hate her more. And when he finds out it all my fault, he'll never forgive me for this!"
"Your fault?" Collins asked, somewhat surprised. "What exactly happened to make it your fault?"
Mark shook his head. "You remember that week Roger and I were fighting?"
"Ha! You gotta be more specific than that!" Maureen laughed.
"Shut up Maureen!" Joanne, Collins and Mark all yelled at her.
Mark threw an evil look at her before continuing. "Anyway, we were arguing. Over a bunch of stuff. But part of it was over Melissa. And he was getting on my nerves about her. And I'd had a few beers. And then he left for work. And I was still annoyed, so I had a few more beers. And then she started going on and on about going out. And I know I shouldn't have..."
"But you did." Collins said.
"Yes." Mark dropped his head into his hands. "It was just once. I wasn't thinking. I never planned for this to happen. It was only that once. I figured just once wouldn't hurt anything."
"Spoken like a knocked up tenth grader." Collins whispered to Joanne, who smiled. "And now you have to tell Roger?"
"Yes."
Maureen shook her head at him. "Boy is your little boyfriend gonna be pissed!"
"Tell me about it. I'll be lucky if he doesn't kick us both out on our asses."
Just then they heard the key going into the lock on the apartment door. Mark froze as the door opened, revealing Roger.
"Hey! Cool food! Please tell me you got me something." He pulled out a chair, flipped it around and sat on it backwards as everyone just watched him. "What?" He looked at all four of their faces. Finally settling on Mark who had a deer in the headlights look. "What?"
"Um..."
"Just tell him Mark." Collins nudged.
"Yeah, um Rog, I, I gotta tell you something. Something about Melissa."
"Melissa?" He asked, reaching for food. "What did she do now?"
"She um... I mean I um... and she..."
"What?" He asked, getting impatient.
"Just tell him." Collins said again.
Mark took a deep breath and started to spit out all the words. "I'm sorry. I know I said she wouldn't be any trouble, but I'm sorry, we were arguing, and I was drinking and she wanted to go out so bad..."
"You didn't!" His eyebrows went up.
"Yes! I'm sorry. And now she's pregnant! I'm so sorry Roger." Mark grimaced, waiting for the Roger explosion.
Roger closed his eyes for a moment as he shook his head. Slowly he opened them. "I can't believe you did that." He said angrily.
"I'm sorry." Mark squeaked out. "I was drinking. I wasn't thinking."
"Damn straight you weren't thinking! What are you going to do now?"
"I don't know." He shrugged. "I guess that depends on you."
"Forget it. I don't want any part of this. What about Melissa?"
"I don't know. I'm going to find her someplace else to live. I swear. I'm going to call my mom. My mom might like to have her around. Especially when she finds out what happened. Maybe."
"Well work on that!" Roger told him stabbing his Chinese food with his fork.
"You guys are so weird!" Maureen told them as she stuck her fork into Mark's food container to get a bit of his food. "All three of you actually." She rolled her eyes at them. "I mean really, it's like some stupid soap opera." She grinned as she started to speak in her announcer voice. "Mark's in love with Roger, but has a thing for Melissa as well and brings her home when she gets kicked out on the street by Roger's former drummer. Roger hates Melissa and can't stand her living with them and never wastes a moment to let either of them know it. Melissa on the other hand knows Roger hates her so she torments him every chance she gets because she also knows Mark worships her and wouldn't let Roger do anything to her. However, she could care less about Mark's feelings for her at all and all but ignores him. Unless of course she wants something. Join us tomorrow for another episode of 'The Poor and the Pathetic'!" At that Maureen broke into fits of laughter.
At that point Collins and Joanne were laughing too. Both at Maureen's little performance as well as the fact Maureen failed to see the irony in the description she just gave of Melissa. Even Roger had cracked a slight grin. "Man, that does make us sound somewhat pathetic. And she's definitely got you pegged Mark! Totally whipped by Melissa!"
"I am not 'whipped'! And especially by Melissa!"
At that point Melissa came out of Mark's bedroom where she had been sleeping. She walked over to the table, ignored everyone else and sat down right next to Mark.
Roger, who had gotten over some of his anger at the news, looked up at Collins with an evil grin. "I guess that gives new meaning to the term 'pussy whipped'!" He started laughing at his own joked along with everyone else. Everyone else but Mark that is.
"Oh shut up. All of you." He bent down and picked Melissa up off the floor, sitting her in his lap. "Don't listen to them 'Lissa, they're just being stupid." He told her as he stabbed a piece of Roger's chicken and held it out to her.
"I'm being stupid?" Roger joked at Mark. "Who let the supper slut out in the first place? And don't feed her my dinner!"
"Like I said, you guys are just weird." Maureen said, shaking her head. "And who names a cat Melissa in the first place? It's weird!"
Mark rolled his eyes as he petted Melissa. "I already told you, that was her name when I got her. I didn't name her that. But then I suppose if I'd named her Maureen it would have been okay?"
"Of course! But 'Melissa' is just weird for a cat!"
"Should have named her Slut Cat." Roger joked. "That's what she is. Goes outside like once and gets knocked up!" He laughed.
"Oh shut up and eat your dinner!" Mark laughed petting the cat, happy the tension had pasted. For the moment at least.
The End
Author's Note: Well, this is by now means my best work. Actually, I'm not all that happy with it. Since ending my last piece Another Second Chance, I've had plenty of ideas (substantial one, with good meaty plots and story lines) however I haven't had time to do much more than think them through and jot down a few notes. So after having zero time to myself to write (much less do other things) in months, suddenly my darling child has finally entered that age where he can be near me, and play, by himself! Leaving me somewhat undisturbed! So all of a sudden I found myself with some spare time so I seized the moment. Here's the result of that moment. Hopefully it's not as bad to you as it is to me. Either way, if I'm suddenly going to start getting more free time, I want to start writing again. I need to get a little practice in again. So bear with me and think of this more as a writing exercise than a serious piece.
And so you all know, this piece was inspired by the many fics that are currently out there right now. There is a baby boom running through RENT land, so I figured I should get in on it! Lately, if Roger hasn't knocked up Mimi, than Mark or some other random guy is getting Maureen pregnant! All we have left is for Roger to some how knock up Mark and we'd have all the bases covered! And if you are one of the current authors with pregnant characters, I hope you found the humor in this and know I meant no offense!