To ease Joey's mind, Chandler told him that Eddie had never actually played foosball with him, watched Baywatch, or hugged him.

"Really?" Joey asked. "You're not just saying that?"

"No," Chandler told him honestly. "Before he got so psycho about his ex-girlfriend and his fish, Eddie mostly just spent a lot of time in his room. He said he wasn't into 'sports' and that he doesn't like Baywatch because it's just a bunch of pretty people running around on the beach!"

"Whoa! What kind of weirdo is he?" Joey asked.

"I know!" Chandler nodded in agreement. "And that cackling way that he laughs is like a cross between Janice and the devil, especially with that goatee of his." Chandler grimaced. "God, I really wish I'd known more about Eddie before I let him move in with me."

Joey pulled Chandler into his arms and pouted a little. "Me too."

Chandler kissed his cheek and spoke with remorse, "It wasn't that I didn't care about you, Joey. I did, and it hurt so bad when you left. I mean, even when that guy offered you this apartment and showed you around the place, it made me feel that I was losing you already, 'cause all you two could talk about was his apartment and the soap. Then we had that fight, and you told me that you were really moving out, and we weren't Bert and Ernie... I thought you didn't care about me anymore. It's like, you got your big break on Days of Our Lives, and that's just the first step to leaving me behind. You'll keep hanging out with your actor friends, you know, and pretty soon you'll star in some movies, and move to Hollywood, and I'll never hear from you again."

Joey was shocked. "What? I wouldn't ditch you like that, Chandler! You're my best friend, and you've always been there for me. I mean, I owe you everything--and I don't mean just money or my career. We're best buds."

"But you still moved out," Chandler pointed out. "That's why I let Eddie move in so fast, 'cause Ross and Rachel said that you were happy here and you were never gonna come back. So I had to find a new roommate and move on too."

"Ah, Chandler!" Joey kissed him reassuringly and realized how much they had both misunderstood each other during the past few weeks. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have moved out. I guess you never know what you've got until it's gone."

Chandler nodded and sighed sadly. "I missed you so much. Some nights, I'd just stare out the window at the rain and think about you."

"Me too." Joey caressed his cheek tenderly. "I kept wanting to call you, but I thought you'd be busy hanging out with Eddie. I'm glad I was wrong."

"Nobody could replace you, Joey. Nobody."

They kissed again and promised to appreciate each other more. Joey added that he was glad that they both wanted to take their friendship to the next level too. "We can get closer now." He ran his hand along Chandler's thigh and kissed his neck lingeringly.

Chandler closed his eyes and moaned with pleasure and excitement. He never thought that he and Joey would end up like this. Yet after experiencing so much rejection from women lately, he found it a great relief to be wanted by anyone. Besides, Joey was more than just anyone. Chandler already had such deep feelings for him that it often prompted teasing jokes from their friends about how intimate they were, and Joey clearly reciprocated these feelings.

It was kind of strange. Chandler had been afraid for years of turning into his gay dad, but somehow, acting on these new, passionate emotions didn't feel so inappropriate or scary, especially when contrasted with Eddie's truly disturbing behavior. Joey's embrace made him feel safe and loved, and he responded eagerly.

But then, as Joey kept touching and exploring Chandler under the covers, he went a little too far, causing Chandler to pull away nervously.

"J-Joe. Not yet. Not--not while the mirror's there," he said with a frown.

Joey looked up. "Oh. Sorry." He took the hint and withdrew his wandering hands from Chandler's body. "Um, I'll get the guys who installed it to take it down tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay."

With a final kiss, they said good night again and retreated to separate sides of the bed.

In the morning, Chandler woke up first and yawned, not quite knowing where he was yet. Then he caught a glimpse of himself and Joey in the mirror above them, and it all came back to him. Lying there in the huge bed, Chandler listened to the quiet rhythm of Joey's breathing and admired what he could see of Joey's uncovered chest. He remembered how much they had kissed and talked last night, discovering a new dimension to their relationship.

Chandler ached to feel Joey's warm arms again, so he moved closer and woke Joey up with a loving kiss.

"Hey."

Joey smiled and kissed his cheek. "Hey. So did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah. And you?"

Joey nodded. "Yeah. Listen, I hope you don't mind, Chandler, but I had to take off my underwear again while you were asleep."

"Oh, you did?" He was tempted to press even closer and feel Joey's naked groin as proof, but he decided against it, as he still wanted to take things slowly.

"Yeah. I didn't wanna keep kicking around all night." Joey let go of Chandler and finally sat up. "Anyway, I'm gonna get dressed now, okay?"

"Okay."

So Joey got out of bed, and Chandler was indecisive about whether to look at him or not. Then he thought "What the hell?" and admired Joey's naked butt as he went to grab his robe and tie it on.

"So, do you wanna use the shower first?" Joey asked.

Chandler nodded, and got out of bed too. Joey picked up the bedding from the floor and headed for the living room, saying that he would make breakfast for them.

Chandler was still bruised, but he walked to the bathroom more confidently now that it was daylight and he could avoid further injury.

After they had both dressed, Chandler suggested over breakfast that they go kick out Eddie next.

"Are you sure you don't wanna move in with me?" Joey asked. "I'll get rid of the mirror and the water-table, and then you'll learn to like this place, huh?"

Chandler shrugged and avoided the topic, not wanting to get into another argument again. "But, Joe, I think we should still get rid of Eddie in case he becomes more unstable. I don't want him to start stalking me, or go after Monica and Rachel next door."

"Oh, you're right. That makes sense."

"Yeah, so let's go get rid of the maniac."

"But when will you decide which apartment you wanna live in?" Joey pressed for a straight answer. "You said you were gonna sleep on it."

"I know." Chandler looked at his feet and reluctantly confessed, "I'm sorry, Joe, but I still prefer our old apartment because it's close to our other friends in the Village."

Joey pouted with disappointment. "You just don't want my furniture."

Chandler touched his hand soothingly. "Well, I-I do like some of your stuff, Joe. Like your ping-pong table and your recliners and that TV. I suppose I could even live with you bringing your couch and dining set too."

"What about all my art? You've got an ugly African mask on your wall, you know!"

"Yeah, I do," Chandler admitted. He sighed and conceded, "Um, okay, you can bring some wall-mounted art, so I at least won't stumble into them at night."

"Cool!" Joey hugged him close and kissed him happily. "Yeah, baby!"

Chandler laughed and blushed. "Is that what you're calling me now? Baby?"

Joey grinned and shrugged. He said flirtatiously, "Well, I don't know. Do you like it?"

Chandler nodded and whispered shyly, "Yes."

Joey kissed him again and murmured, "How you doin'?"

After Joey and Chandler finally stopped making out that morning, they took the bus downtown to their old apartment to confront Eddie. When they opened the door and entered, it at first appeared that nobody was home, but then Eddie popped up and startled them.

"Hey, roomie! Joey," Eddie greeted them cheerfully, apparently no longer angry at Chandler about his ex-girlfriend and his goldfish. "I wondered where you got to last night. Look, I made pecan sandies." He opened Chandler's cookie jar that was shaped like a clown's head, and he offered them the cookies inside.

Joey started to reach for one, but Chandler quickly stopped him, suspecting that Eddie was tricking them and trying to poison them with the cookies. "Uh, no thanks, Eddie. We just had breakfast. See, I-I stayed over at Joey's place."

Eddie put down the cookie jar and said, "Aw, man, you guys should have come over here and hung out with us!" He cackled maniacally and made them wonder who "us" was. Maybe Eddie had multiple personalities? "Well, you can meet our new goldfish now. Surprise!" He pointed to the fishtank proudly.

They looked and saw a tiny goldfish cracker floating in the tank. Chandler turned to Eddie in disbelief, and said, "Well, that's--that's not even a real fish. That's a goldfish cracker."

Eddie stared at him blankly. "What's your point, man?"

Chandler backed away from Eddie apprehensively. "Uh, nothing. Nothing."

Joey frowned and folded his arms, starting to realize just exactly how big of a nutcase Eddie was.

Eddie just smiled at the cracker and said, "I named him Chandler, after you. Maybe we'll get another fishy and name him after Joey. Huh?" He cackled again.

Chandler cringed in horror, and Joey decided to be direct. "Look, Eddie, we've got something to tell you. I'm moving back in, so you gotta move out of here, okay?"

Eddie stopped grinning and looked shocked. "What?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, but me and Chandler have made up and decided to live together again. So you gotta go. We'll give you some time to pack and find a new place--"

"Whoa, wait a minute!" Eddie got mad and advanced on them. "This isn't fair. Where are me and my goldfish gonna go, huh?"

Chandler cowered behind Joey and hissed warningly, "Don't anger him! Don't anger him!"

Joey remained firm, though. "I know it's sudden, Eddie, but you'll find someplace else. In fact, I won't be needing my apartment uptown, so you can have it. The rent's kinda steep, though, so you may want to find a roommate--"

Eddie interrupted and poked his chest scornfully. "No, no! You stay out of this, pal! And you, Chandler! I made cookies and named the fishy after you, and this is how you act? If you want me out of here, then at least tell me yourself. Tell me to my face!"

So Chandler gathered up his courage. "Okay. I-I want you to move out, Eddie."

"No no no, I wanna hear it from your lips."

Chandler stared at Eddie uncomprehendingly. "Where did you hear it from before?!"

"All right, all right, you know what, pallie, I understand! Consider me gone. You know what I'll do? I'll go move into my brother's basement, and when he finds out, I'll go someplace else." Eddie stormed toward his bedroom furiously. "You know what, I'll be out by the time you get home from work tomorrow." He slammed the door after him.

Chandler sighed with relief and hugged Joey for helping him get through this.

"See? That wasn't too hard." Then Joey took out a tape measure from his pocket. "Now help me take some measurements and figure out where I can put my new stuff when I move back in."

"Okay. I guess since you're bringing the big TV back, this one can go in my bedroom."

"Yeah, and then we'll get rid of your old sofa and bring my nice leather one."

So they measured the room and discussed their options, already looking forward to living together again.

[Eddie's line about his brother's basement is included in the uncut version of TOW Eddie Won't Go.]