I'm BACK! Yes, it's true, I am back. I barely passed Geometry (I made a 70)
so I got grounded from the Internet until the progress report came back
with a better grade. Sorry. But, I'm back for an update.
Disclaimer: See Chapter one.
Feedback: I know it took so long to update, but can I still ask for feedback? Please!
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Chapter Four: Writing and Performing
Okay, it's like this. I'm sitting in Willow's spare bedroom, trying to figure out how to actually WRITE DOWN the music for my songs. I got Oz and few of his friends to agree to be my band, but obviously they need music to read off of right? So here I am, flooded by paper and things that make no sense to me.
Willow and Oz aren't here. Honestly, I'm glad. I need to concentrate. And plus, I think they're starting to fall for each other again. But, Willow still insists she's gay. Even though she's blown off three calls from this Tiffany girl.
And I've been in L.A. for almost a month, and haven't seen Angel. Not that I really tried to, I'm to scared to. I mean, like I said before, what do you say to a guy you let walk off when you really wanted him there? How am I supposed to explain that and-
AH HA! This little note thing goes here! And I'm done. Now I wonder if it's sounds right. Only one way to find out.
And now, I'm going to pull and Angel on you and brood. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Oh my god! It's opening night. I'm so freaking nervous.
The guys in the band, that is to say Oz; Daniel; Kealy; and 8-Ball (don't ask, I don't know), said the music was perfect and I'm going to be awesome, so not to worry. News flash: NOT HELPING!
I look around the curtain and look out at the crowd. It's HUGE! I mean, there's lots of vampires in there (Slayer-sense) and demons and humans, and, if I'm not mistaken, lawyers.
There's this feeling in the air. It almost crackles. It feels like Angel. But I know it's just my nervousness. That's it. I'm just nervous. Angel wouldn't be here. I mean, he hates music, well, my generation's music. And he doesn't sing. Why would he be here?
"And now, after such a long absence, I am please to bring Caritas back to you!" Lorne said with excitement. He let the wild applause die down before continuing. "Now, I know this isn't traditional, but as a special treat, we have the spectacular Buffy Summers performing one night only!"
"Buffy," Oz whispered. "We're on."
We ran out on stage as we had practiced. I plastered on a smile, hopefully hiding my stage fright. 8-Ball gave four loud drum clicks as the show started. After the first measures, I was lost in the music and truly enjoying myself.
Now, don't just walk away. Pretending everything's okay, and you don't care about me. I know it's just no use, when all of your lies become you're truths and I don't care.
Could you look me in the eye? And tell me that you're happy now? Would you tell it to my face? Or have I been erased? Are you happy now?
You took all there was to take, and left me with an empty plate, and you don't care about it, yeah. And I am giving up this game, and leaving you with all the blame, 'cause I don't care.
Could you look me in the eye? And tell me that you're happy now? Come on tell it to my face? Or have I been replaced? Are you happy now?
Do you really have everything you want? You can't ever give something you ain't got. You can't run away from yourself.
Could you look me in the eye? And tell me that you're happy now? Would you tell it to my face? Or have I been erased? Are you happy now?
Would you look me in the eye? Could you look me in the eye? I've had all that I can take. I'm not about to break 'cause I'm happy now. Are you happy now?
That was over the summer after Angel left. I was so angry with him. I wanted to know if he was happy with leaving me. I wanted to know if it hurt him as much as it hurt me. And that last line about me being happy now was completely a lie. But I put it in anyway. I thought that if I wrote the lie down, it would make it true. It didn't.
I let the last chord sound through the room and listened to the wild applause that followed it. Everyone cheering except for one person in the back. The man just stood there, gazing intently at me. Then, I realized, he was here. Standing next to Lorne, looking every inch the man I remembered.
What happened to that statement about the last time I ignore my feelings. Because he was here. I had felt him. But again, I passed it off. My inspiration, any guardian, my everything was in this room.
Angel continued to stare at me on the stage.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
I write, you read, you review, I write more! Isn't it wonderful?
The song in this chapter is "Are You Happy Now?" by Michelle Branch.
Disclaimer: See Chapter one.
Feedback: I know it took so long to update, but can I still ask for feedback? Please!
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Chapter Four: Writing and Performing
Okay, it's like this. I'm sitting in Willow's spare bedroom, trying to figure out how to actually WRITE DOWN the music for my songs. I got Oz and few of his friends to agree to be my band, but obviously they need music to read off of right? So here I am, flooded by paper and things that make no sense to me.
Willow and Oz aren't here. Honestly, I'm glad. I need to concentrate. And plus, I think they're starting to fall for each other again. But, Willow still insists she's gay. Even though she's blown off three calls from this Tiffany girl.
And I've been in L.A. for almost a month, and haven't seen Angel. Not that I really tried to, I'm to scared to. I mean, like I said before, what do you say to a guy you let walk off when you really wanted him there? How am I supposed to explain that and-
AH HA! This little note thing goes here! And I'm done. Now I wonder if it's sounds right. Only one way to find out.
And now, I'm going to pull and Angel on you and brood. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Oh my god! It's opening night. I'm so freaking nervous.
The guys in the band, that is to say Oz; Daniel; Kealy; and 8-Ball (don't ask, I don't know), said the music was perfect and I'm going to be awesome, so not to worry. News flash: NOT HELPING!
I look around the curtain and look out at the crowd. It's HUGE! I mean, there's lots of vampires in there (Slayer-sense) and demons and humans, and, if I'm not mistaken, lawyers.
There's this feeling in the air. It almost crackles. It feels like Angel. But I know it's just my nervousness. That's it. I'm just nervous. Angel wouldn't be here. I mean, he hates music, well, my generation's music. And he doesn't sing. Why would he be here?
"And now, after such a long absence, I am please to bring Caritas back to you!" Lorne said with excitement. He let the wild applause die down before continuing. "Now, I know this isn't traditional, but as a special treat, we have the spectacular Buffy Summers performing one night only!"
"Buffy," Oz whispered. "We're on."
We ran out on stage as we had practiced. I plastered on a smile, hopefully hiding my stage fright. 8-Ball gave four loud drum clicks as the show started. After the first measures, I was lost in the music and truly enjoying myself.
Now, don't just walk away. Pretending everything's okay, and you don't care about me. I know it's just no use, when all of your lies become you're truths and I don't care.
Could you look me in the eye? And tell me that you're happy now? Would you tell it to my face? Or have I been erased? Are you happy now?
You took all there was to take, and left me with an empty plate, and you don't care about it, yeah. And I am giving up this game, and leaving you with all the blame, 'cause I don't care.
Could you look me in the eye? And tell me that you're happy now? Come on tell it to my face? Or have I been replaced? Are you happy now?
Do you really have everything you want? You can't ever give something you ain't got. You can't run away from yourself.
Could you look me in the eye? And tell me that you're happy now? Would you tell it to my face? Or have I been erased? Are you happy now?
Would you look me in the eye? Could you look me in the eye? I've had all that I can take. I'm not about to break 'cause I'm happy now. Are you happy now?
That was over the summer after Angel left. I was so angry with him. I wanted to know if he was happy with leaving me. I wanted to know if it hurt him as much as it hurt me. And that last line about me being happy now was completely a lie. But I put it in anyway. I thought that if I wrote the lie down, it would make it true. It didn't.
I let the last chord sound through the room and listened to the wild applause that followed it. Everyone cheering except for one person in the back. The man just stood there, gazing intently at me. Then, I realized, he was here. Standing next to Lorne, looking every inch the man I remembered.
What happened to that statement about the last time I ignore my feelings. Because he was here. I had felt him. But again, I passed it off. My inspiration, any guardian, my everything was in this room.
Angel continued to stare at me on the stage.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
I write, you read, you review, I write more! Isn't it wonderful?
The song in this chapter is "Are You Happy Now?" by Michelle Branch.