Into the Darkness
Disclaimer: CSI doesn't belong to me.
Rated R for language and an eating disorder
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
I don't know how long I've been standing here. My arms are numb from the chilling winds attacking my body. Winter nights in Vegas can be extremely cold and tonight is no exception. I really should go inside and continue working, but the bright lights from the various casinos seem to be calling out to me. I don't know when I began not enjoying my job. I just know that I hate coming in and dealing with death and devastation each and every night. Grissom once told me that I needed to get a distraction, or that I would burn out. I didn't believe him at the time. Now looking back on what's happened in my life these previous months, I'm beginning to find out that he was right. It wasn't like I didn't try. I went out with Hank. Of course, that didn't last long. Jerk. Then, for reasons beyond my knowledge, I asked Grissom out. He said no. Not, I'll think about it Sara, or a maybe some other time Sara. No, it was a flat out no. I tried to argue with him and almost beg him to change his mind. He wouldn't hear of it. Now it seems that we can't say one word to each other without things being awkward. Grissom's not the only one acting strange. Catherine is on some sort of ego trip or something. I don't really understand her sometimes. It's as if she's two different people. I've given up on trying to figure her out. It's not like we were ever close. In fact, sometimes I think she still resents me coming here. The only reason I'm here is because of Grissom. The only reason I've stayed this long is because of Grissom. What is it about him that I can't let go? I hear a movement behind me but I refuse to turn around. I'll know who it is soon.
"Sara? What are you doing out here? It's freezing." Warrick's concerned voice replied.
I kept my eyes on the glowing signs. "Just getting some fresh air." I tell him. It wasn't a complete lie.
He walked up beside me and shook his head. "You're shaking. I think you better go back in."
It wasn't until that moment that I felt my body quivering from the cold. I couldn't go inside though. I've made a decision and I was going to go through with it. "I'll be there in a minute."
Warrick refused to leave though. Instead, he stood beside me and pulled his jacket around my shoulders. He didn't say anything for a few moments. We both stared down at the busy streets of Vegas. After a few moments passed he turned to face me. "It's not worth it Sara."
I focused my attention on him. "What's not?"
"I know what you're doing up here. You've been way too quiet and depressed these past few days."
"So? I just haven't been in a talking mood." I had to defend myself.
"That's not it and you and I both know it."
"Listen Warrick. I'm not going to throw myself off this roof if that's what you're thinking?"
He looked shocked to say the least. "Really? See, normally when people come up to the roof, they usually stay a few minutes and then leave."
"I haven't been up here long." She instantly replied knowing that he wouldn't believe her.
"We split up twenty minutes ago and you haven't been any where else in the building."
"Are you keeping tabs on me now, War?"
"No, but I am worried about you." His eyes were filled with emotions that I thought I'd never see coming from him. Well, not directed at me anyway. We've had a rocky past. I'm still not entirely sure where we stand.
I tried to give him a smile, but I couldn't pull it off. "Don't be. Besides jumping off buildings isn't my style"
"This isn't funny Sara."
I lost it. "Does it look like I'm laughing?" I tried to walk away but Warrick grabbed my arm.
"Sara." He began but I cut him off and jerked my away.
"Leave me alone Warrick." I glared at him and ran inside. I couldn't handle this anymore. Why did he have to come up there? It wasn't as if he cared about me. No one did. I was about halfway down the hall, when I literally ran into Grissom. I almost knocked him over. "Um, sorry Grissom." I stated and began walking away, but was stopped by him calling out to me.
"Sara, could I see you in my office?"
I turned around and stared at him. "Is this important 'cause I really need to be somewhere."
"I wouldn't ask if it wasn't." He told me simply.
"Fine." I said and exhaled deeply. We made our way into his office and he pointed at a chair.
"Why don't you have a seat?"
"I'd prefer to stand." I had no idea what this was about but I had a feeling I wasn't going to like it.
"Okay." He sat against his desk and glared at me. Well, that's how it felt to me anyway. "Sara, I've heard some really disturbing things and if there's anything you want to talk about."
"Disturbing things? I don't understand."
Grissom took a deep breath. "I'm putting you on a personal leave."
"What?" I shook my head. "I'm sorry, I think I just had a slight hearing loss. What did you just say?"
"Sara, I'm concerned that you're being put under way too much stress and it's affecting your work and your judgments."
"I don't believe this. Grissom, you can't do this to me."
"I can and I did. I'm also going to suggest you seek counseling."
"No." I was beyond angry. "Forget it. I don't need a shrink. I'm fine."
"Go home and get some rest Sara. I'll call you later and check in." He walked closer to me and placed his hand on my shoulder.
I felt defeated. I gazed into Grissom's eyes hoping to find something there telling me this was all a mistake and that I could go back to work. Instead, I saw the determined eyes of a man that wasn't going to back down. I had no choice. "Fine." I turned around and walked out of his office.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
TBC
Disclaimer: CSI doesn't belong to me.
Rated R for language and an eating disorder
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
I don't know how long I've been standing here. My arms are numb from the chilling winds attacking my body. Winter nights in Vegas can be extremely cold and tonight is no exception. I really should go inside and continue working, but the bright lights from the various casinos seem to be calling out to me. I don't know when I began not enjoying my job. I just know that I hate coming in and dealing with death and devastation each and every night. Grissom once told me that I needed to get a distraction, or that I would burn out. I didn't believe him at the time. Now looking back on what's happened in my life these previous months, I'm beginning to find out that he was right. It wasn't like I didn't try. I went out with Hank. Of course, that didn't last long. Jerk. Then, for reasons beyond my knowledge, I asked Grissom out. He said no. Not, I'll think about it Sara, or a maybe some other time Sara. No, it was a flat out no. I tried to argue with him and almost beg him to change his mind. He wouldn't hear of it. Now it seems that we can't say one word to each other without things being awkward. Grissom's not the only one acting strange. Catherine is on some sort of ego trip or something. I don't really understand her sometimes. It's as if she's two different people. I've given up on trying to figure her out. It's not like we were ever close. In fact, sometimes I think she still resents me coming here. The only reason I'm here is because of Grissom. The only reason I've stayed this long is because of Grissom. What is it about him that I can't let go? I hear a movement behind me but I refuse to turn around. I'll know who it is soon.
"Sara? What are you doing out here? It's freezing." Warrick's concerned voice replied.
I kept my eyes on the glowing signs. "Just getting some fresh air." I tell him. It wasn't a complete lie.
He walked up beside me and shook his head. "You're shaking. I think you better go back in."
It wasn't until that moment that I felt my body quivering from the cold. I couldn't go inside though. I've made a decision and I was going to go through with it. "I'll be there in a minute."
Warrick refused to leave though. Instead, he stood beside me and pulled his jacket around my shoulders. He didn't say anything for a few moments. We both stared down at the busy streets of Vegas. After a few moments passed he turned to face me. "It's not worth it Sara."
I focused my attention on him. "What's not?"
"I know what you're doing up here. You've been way too quiet and depressed these past few days."
"So? I just haven't been in a talking mood." I had to defend myself.
"That's not it and you and I both know it."
"Listen Warrick. I'm not going to throw myself off this roof if that's what you're thinking?"
He looked shocked to say the least. "Really? See, normally when people come up to the roof, they usually stay a few minutes and then leave."
"I haven't been up here long." She instantly replied knowing that he wouldn't believe her.
"We split up twenty minutes ago and you haven't been any where else in the building."
"Are you keeping tabs on me now, War?"
"No, but I am worried about you." His eyes were filled with emotions that I thought I'd never see coming from him. Well, not directed at me anyway. We've had a rocky past. I'm still not entirely sure where we stand.
I tried to give him a smile, but I couldn't pull it off. "Don't be. Besides jumping off buildings isn't my style"
"This isn't funny Sara."
I lost it. "Does it look like I'm laughing?" I tried to walk away but Warrick grabbed my arm.
"Sara." He began but I cut him off and jerked my away.
"Leave me alone Warrick." I glared at him and ran inside. I couldn't handle this anymore. Why did he have to come up there? It wasn't as if he cared about me. No one did. I was about halfway down the hall, when I literally ran into Grissom. I almost knocked him over. "Um, sorry Grissom." I stated and began walking away, but was stopped by him calling out to me.
"Sara, could I see you in my office?"
I turned around and stared at him. "Is this important 'cause I really need to be somewhere."
"I wouldn't ask if it wasn't." He told me simply.
"Fine." I said and exhaled deeply. We made our way into his office and he pointed at a chair.
"Why don't you have a seat?"
"I'd prefer to stand." I had no idea what this was about but I had a feeling I wasn't going to like it.
"Okay." He sat against his desk and glared at me. Well, that's how it felt to me anyway. "Sara, I've heard some really disturbing things and if there's anything you want to talk about."
"Disturbing things? I don't understand."
Grissom took a deep breath. "I'm putting you on a personal leave."
"What?" I shook my head. "I'm sorry, I think I just had a slight hearing loss. What did you just say?"
"Sara, I'm concerned that you're being put under way too much stress and it's affecting your work and your judgments."
"I don't believe this. Grissom, you can't do this to me."
"I can and I did. I'm also going to suggest you seek counseling."
"No." I was beyond angry. "Forget it. I don't need a shrink. I'm fine."
"Go home and get some rest Sara. I'll call you later and check in." He walked closer to me and placed his hand on my shoulder.
I felt defeated. I gazed into Grissom's eyes hoping to find something there telling me this was all a mistake and that I could go back to work. Instead, I saw the determined eyes of a man that wasn't going to back down. I had no choice. "Fine." I turned around and walked out of his office.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
TBC