I'm not sure how much time has gone by since Grissom sent me home. I just know I haven't left my bedroom for anything except to go to the bathroom. I refused to get out of bed for anything else. As soon as I came home, I unplugged the phone and turned the answering machine off. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't need their so-called sympathy. My stomach began growling, but I ignored it. I didn't want to eat and I really didn't want to be awake. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.
"Sara." I heard someone whisper my name. I thought I was just imagining it, so I didn't respond. "Sara." The voice was louder and I felt someone touch my shoulder. I opened my eyes and as soon as I could focus I noticed Nick sitting down beside me.
"Nick?" I must be still asleep. Why would Nick be in my bedroom?
"Hey Sara." He placed his hand on my head.
"What are you doing here?" I asked becoming more awake.
"You weren't answering your phone and I was getting worried."
I leaned up. "I unplugged the phone."
"Sara, what's going on?" His voice seemed concerned but I know that he considers me like a younger sister. Nick's the only person that I know that didn't have an opinion about me coming to Vegas. Well, if he did, he kept it to himself.
"Why does everyone keep asking me that? There's nothing wrong."
"You've stayed to yourself for months, you haven't talked to anyone unless it was dealing with a case, and now you're not taking any calls. If that's not signs something is wrong, I don't know what is."
I couldn't look at him anymore. I focused on a random spot across the room.
"Are you hungry? I can fix you something." Nick offered.
"I'm fine."
"Sara, look at me."
I turned my head around and stared at his face, but not in his eyes.
"Whatever you're going through, I want you to know you don't have to do it alone. I'm here if you need me."
'I will not cry, I will not cry.' I kept saying that to myself over and over. I was determined not to break down in front of anyone, especially not Nick. "I'm fine Nick. I've just not been talkative lately."
"You know I don't believe a word of that right?"
"I know you don't, but it's the truth." I looked directly into his eyes. "Could you please leave? I'm really exhausted."
Nick looked very hesitant. "I'll make you a deal." He finally responded.
"What kind of deal?"
"Let me fix you something to eat and then after you're done, I'll leave so you can get some rest."
"You can leave after you fix it." I told him.
"Sara, you and I both know if I left, you wouldn't eat. That's why I'm staying." He stood up and kissed my forehead. "I'm going to make you some soup and some cheese toast."
"Okay." I knew better to argue with Nick. I pulled my legs to my chest and rested my head on my knees. Closing my eyes, I drifted back off to sleep. Nick came back in and woke me. He sat my food down on the table and pulled me into a hug.
"You're scaring me." He whispered.
"What? Why?" I was confused.
He pulled away from me and cupped my cheek. "I want to help you, but you have to want that too."
"There's nothing wrong with me!" I shouted and jerked away from him. "Why can't you see that?"
He gripped my shoulders tightly. "I do see, Sara. That's the point. I see what's going but you're lying to yourself and everyone else around you."
"Get out." I told him coldly.
"Sara."
"GET OUT! GET OUT!" I screamed. I broke down and started crying. Nick just wrapped his arms around me and didn't let go. I think I cried harder than I ever have in my life in those few minutes. By the time I was done, I was extremely exhausted. Nick helped me get settled back in bed and covered me up. He leaned down and kissed my forehead.
"Get some sleep, but I want you to promise me that you'll eat something when you wake up."
I mumbled something that might have sounded like a promise, but I couldn't be too sure. I just let the darkness consume me.
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TBC
"Sara." I heard someone whisper my name. I thought I was just imagining it, so I didn't respond. "Sara." The voice was louder and I felt someone touch my shoulder. I opened my eyes and as soon as I could focus I noticed Nick sitting down beside me.
"Nick?" I must be still asleep. Why would Nick be in my bedroom?
"Hey Sara." He placed his hand on my head.
"What are you doing here?" I asked becoming more awake.
"You weren't answering your phone and I was getting worried."
I leaned up. "I unplugged the phone."
"Sara, what's going on?" His voice seemed concerned but I know that he considers me like a younger sister. Nick's the only person that I know that didn't have an opinion about me coming to Vegas. Well, if he did, he kept it to himself.
"Why does everyone keep asking me that? There's nothing wrong."
"You've stayed to yourself for months, you haven't talked to anyone unless it was dealing with a case, and now you're not taking any calls. If that's not signs something is wrong, I don't know what is."
I couldn't look at him anymore. I focused on a random spot across the room.
"Are you hungry? I can fix you something." Nick offered.
"I'm fine."
"Sara, look at me."
I turned my head around and stared at his face, but not in his eyes.
"Whatever you're going through, I want you to know you don't have to do it alone. I'm here if you need me."
'I will not cry, I will not cry.' I kept saying that to myself over and over. I was determined not to break down in front of anyone, especially not Nick. "I'm fine Nick. I've just not been talkative lately."
"You know I don't believe a word of that right?"
"I know you don't, but it's the truth." I looked directly into his eyes. "Could you please leave? I'm really exhausted."
Nick looked very hesitant. "I'll make you a deal." He finally responded.
"What kind of deal?"
"Let me fix you something to eat and then after you're done, I'll leave so you can get some rest."
"You can leave after you fix it." I told him.
"Sara, you and I both know if I left, you wouldn't eat. That's why I'm staying." He stood up and kissed my forehead. "I'm going to make you some soup and some cheese toast."
"Okay." I knew better to argue with Nick. I pulled my legs to my chest and rested my head on my knees. Closing my eyes, I drifted back off to sleep. Nick came back in and woke me. He sat my food down on the table and pulled me into a hug.
"You're scaring me." He whispered.
"What? Why?" I was confused.
He pulled away from me and cupped my cheek. "I want to help you, but you have to want that too."
"There's nothing wrong with me!" I shouted and jerked away from him. "Why can't you see that?"
He gripped my shoulders tightly. "I do see, Sara. That's the point. I see what's going but you're lying to yourself and everyone else around you."
"Get out." I told him coldly.
"Sara."
"GET OUT! GET OUT!" I screamed. I broke down and started crying. Nick just wrapped his arms around me and didn't let go. I think I cried harder than I ever have in my life in those few minutes. By the time I was done, I was extremely exhausted. Nick helped me get settled back in bed and covered me up. He leaned down and kissed my forehead.
"Get some sleep, but I want you to promise me that you'll eat something when you wake up."
I mumbled something that might have sounded like a promise, but I couldn't be too sure. I just let the darkness consume me.
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TBC