Thanks for the reviews so far. Sorry for the delay.
I woke up several hours later. I glanced at the clock and realized it was around six p.m. I forced myself out of bed and went to the bathroom. Once I was done, I washed my face and headed toward the kitchen. I noticed a note on my fridge. I pulled it down and read it.
Sara, I put the soup in the fridge and threw the sandwich away. I figured it would be soggy and nasty by the time you woke up. Make another one and eat the soup. Remember you promised me. I'll call you later and check on you. Nick.
I couldn't help but smile at Nick's kindness. Unfortunately, I wasn't in the mood to eat, but apparently I had promised to. I decided that to eat a small amount, that way I wouldn't break my promise. I took the soup out and warmed it up in the microwave. I poured myself a glass of water and waited for the soup to finish. As soon as it was done, I took it out and grabbed a spoon. I took ate about two spoonfuls when my stomach began hurting. I couldn't eat anymore. I grabbed a trash bag and dumped the soup in it. I walked out of my apartment and threw the bag in the dumpster. I walked back inside and sat down on my couch. I was flipping through the channels and stopped on a baby show. Tears began pouring down my face. The baby was tiny and my hands went straight to my stomach. 'I can't watch this.' I quickly turned the channel and heard a knock on my door. 'Who could that be?' I walked over to the door and to my surprise found Catherine standing outside. I opened the door. "Catherine."
She smiled. "Hey Sara. Can I come in?"
"Sure." I stepped aside allowing her to come in. She made her way over to my couch and sat down.
I plopped down on my chair and focused on her. "So, what's going on?"
"I wanted to come by and see how you were doing."
"I'm fine." I told her, really not wanting to get in this discussion.
"Sara, I know we've not been getting along lately. I've been pretty short with you since Eddie's death and I'm really sorry about that."
"I thought we were over that."
"We are. I mean, I am. It's just I've been thinking about my actions around you lately and I've realized that I haven't been much a friend."
"To be honest Catherine, we really weren't that great of friends before. Let's face it; you hated the fact I was asked to come here. Not only was I asked to come, but to investigate one of your friends. I can't say that I would have acted differently from you if our places had been switched."
"I know and I'm sorry Sara."
"Forget it. It doesn't really matter anymore."
"Of course it matters. Sara, if I'm part of the reason you're acting the way you are, I want to do something about it."
I couldn't take this anymore. "Catherine, you have nothing to do with how I feel. And as far as the way I'm acting, I'm not any different than I was before."
"That's not true Sara, you're more withdrawn. You don't smile, you don't joke around with Nick and Warrick, and you're just not the Sara we know."
"How could you possibly know anything about me?" I asked. "None of you do. All you know is that I'm a workaholic who gets emotionally involved with some cases. That's all you know besides where I was born and where I graduated from school."
"Sara, I know you enough to tell when something is off and something is very off."
"Why do you care anyway?"
"Because you're my friend. No matter what I've said to you or how I treated you lately, it doesn't mean that I don't care. We all do."
"I'm fine. I'm just tired." I told her.
Catherine looked like she was going to say something else but I stopped her. "Look, I'm just not feeling well. I think I'm coming down with something. I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want you guys to worry about me."
"I don't think that's it. You've been acting this way since the lab exploded, and it's only got worse since that teenage girl was murdered."
My mind flashed back to seeing Suzanne's body lying in her driveway. I couldn't save her. I couldn't save anyone. "Catherine, I'm really tired. Would you mind leaving?"
She sent me a worried gaze. "All right, but I want you to know that if you need anything, you can call me."
I nodded. "Okay. Thanks for coming by." I told her trying to sound cheerful.
She stood up and headed for the door. She opened it and before she walked out, she turned to me. "If you can't talk to me, please find someone to talk to. I don't know what's going on, but you need help." With that said, she left closing the door behind her. I went back to my bedroom and crawled under the covers.
I woke up once more and checked the clock. It was around nine p.m. I should be going to work. Of course, thanks to Warrick, I'm still very much alive. I don't want to be here. I was determined to jump off the roof. I needed to do that. I just wanted to be free. A tear slid down my cheek. I heard a knock at the door. I swear I've had more company today than I've had my entire existence. I got out of bed and made my way to the door. I opened the door to reveal Grissom. 'Great, just what I needed.'
"Hello Sara."
"Grissom." I replied coolly.
"I wanted to stop by and see how you were. I tried calling but you're not answering your phone."
"I unplugged it."
Grissom nodded. "I thought you might. Do you mind if I come in?"
I stepped aside. "Be my guest." Grissom walked by me and sat down on my couch just like Catherine did a few hours before me. Again I went to my spot in the chair. "So, what brings you by on a work night?"
"I wanted to see how you were doing."
"Well, I haven't slit my wrists yet, if that's what you're worried about." I told him not caring how horrible and mean I sounded.
"Sara." That one word had many meanings to it. He wasn't too thrilled with my answer and he sounded upset.
"I'm sorry. I thought that's what you wanted to hear."
Grissom stood up and bent down in front of me. "What I want to hear is you laugh. What I want to hear is you joking around with the others." He took my hand. "I want you to get better and you're not going to if you don't get help."
"Why does everyone think something's wrong with me? Why can't I just be depressed?" I asked feeling tears welling up threatening to fall.
"Honey, please tell me what's wrong."
"I can't." I told him. "Please leave." Tears began falling and I couldn't stop them if I tried. "Grissom, would you please just leave me alone."
He shook his head. "No." He pulled me into a hug, which is something I would have never expected from him. I can't believe this. First, I balled my eyes out in front of Nicky and now Grissom. 'No wonder they think I'm a mess.' I pulled away from Grissom and wiped my eyes.
"I'm okay." I simply replied.
Grissom glanced down at his watch. "I need to go to work, but I'll stay if you want me to."
I shook my head. "You should go. The lab needs you." If Grissom was offended by that last remark, he didn't show it. Instead he stood up and gave me a smile.
"If you need anything, call me."
I nodded and watched him leave. "Why am I always running my mouth when he's around?" I asked myself. "Now he thinks I really am crazy. Of course I am standing here talking to myself." I walked back into the bedroom and sat down on my bed. My stomach began growling but I ignored it. I'm losing control of other things, but I know the one thing that I can control. I crawled under the covers and went to sleep.
TBC
I woke up several hours later. I glanced at the clock and realized it was around six p.m. I forced myself out of bed and went to the bathroom. Once I was done, I washed my face and headed toward the kitchen. I noticed a note on my fridge. I pulled it down and read it.
Sara, I put the soup in the fridge and threw the sandwich away. I figured it would be soggy and nasty by the time you woke up. Make another one and eat the soup. Remember you promised me. I'll call you later and check on you. Nick.
I couldn't help but smile at Nick's kindness. Unfortunately, I wasn't in the mood to eat, but apparently I had promised to. I decided that to eat a small amount, that way I wouldn't break my promise. I took the soup out and warmed it up in the microwave. I poured myself a glass of water and waited for the soup to finish. As soon as it was done, I took it out and grabbed a spoon. I took ate about two spoonfuls when my stomach began hurting. I couldn't eat anymore. I grabbed a trash bag and dumped the soup in it. I walked out of my apartment and threw the bag in the dumpster. I walked back inside and sat down on my couch. I was flipping through the channels and stopped on a baby show. Tears began pouring down my face. The baby was tiny and my hands went straight to my stomach. 'I can't watch this.' I quickly turned the channel and heard a knock on my door. 'Who could that be?' I walked over to the door and to my surprise found Catherine standing outside. I opened the door. "Catherine."
She smiled. "Hey Sara. Can I come in?"
"Sure." I stepped aside allowing her to come in. She made her way over to my couch and sat down.
I plopped down on my chair and focused on her. "So, what's going on?"
"I wanted to come by and see how you were doing."
"I'm fine." I told her, really not wanting to get in this discussion.
"Sara, I know we've not been getting along lately. I've been pretty short with you since Eddie's death and I'm really sorry about that."
"I thought we were over that."
"We are. I mean, I am. It's just I've been thinking about my actions around you lately and I've realized that I haven't been much a friend."
"To be honest Catherine, we really weren't that great of friends before. Let's face it; you hated the fact I was asked to come here. Not only was I asked to come, but to investigate one of your friends. I can't say that I would have acted differently from you if our places had been switched."
"I know and I'm sorry Sara."
"Forget it. It doesn't really matter anymore."
"Of course it matters. Sara, if I'm part of the reason you're acting the way you are, I want to do something about it."
I couldn't take this anymore. "Catherine, you have nothing to do with how I feel. And as far as the way I'm acting, I'm not any different than I was before."
"That's not true Sara, you're more withdrawn. You don't smile, you don't joke around with Nick and Warrick, and you're just not the Sara we know."
"How could you possibly know anything about me?" I asked. "None of you do. All you know is that I'm a workaholic who gets emotionally involved with some cases. That's all you know besides where I was born and where I graduated from school."
"Sara, I know you enough to tell when something is off and something is very off."
"Why do you care anyway?"
"Because you're my friend. No matter what I've said to you or how I treated you lately, it doesn't mean that I don't care. We all do."
"I'm fine. I'm just tired." I told her.
Catherine looked like she was going to say something else but I stopped her. "Look, I'm just not feeling well. I think I'm coming down with something. I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want you guys to worry about me."
"I don't think that's it. You've been acting this way since the lab exploded, and it's only got worse since that teenage girl was murdered."
My mind flashed back to seeing Suzanne's body lying in her driveway. I couldn't save her. I couldn't save anyone. "Catherine, I'm really tired. Would you mind leaving?"
She sent me a worried gaze. "All right, but I want you to know that if you need anything, you can call me."
I nodded. "Okay. Thanks for coming by." I told her trying to sound cheerful.
She stood up and headed for the door. She opened it and before she walked out, she turned to me. "If you can't talk to me, please find someone to talk to. I don't know what's going on, but you need help." With that said, she left closing the door behind her. I went back to my bedroom and crawled under the covers.
I woke up once more and checked the clock. It was around nine p.m. I should be going to work. Of course, thanks to Warrick, I'm still very much alive. I don't want to be here. I was determined to jump off the roof. I needed to do that. I just wanted to be free. A tear slid down my cheek. I heard a knock at the door. I swear I've had more company today than I've had my entire existence. I got out of bed and made my way to the door. I opened the door to reveal Grissom. 'Great, just what I needed.'
"Hello Sara."
"Grissom." I replied coolly.
"I wanted to stop by and see how you were. I tried calling but you're not answering your phone."
"I unplugged it."
Grissom nodded. "I thought you might. Do you mind if I come in?"
I stepped aside. "Be my guest." Grissom walked by me and sat down on my couch just like Catherine did a few hours before me. Again I went to my spot in the chair. "So, what brings you by on a work night?"
"I wanted to see how you were doing."
"Well, I haven't slit my wrists yet, if that's what you're worried about." I told him not caring how horrible and mean I sounded.
"Sara." That one word had many meanings to it. He wasn't too thrilled with my answer and he sounded upset.
"I'm sorry. I thought that's what you wanted to hear."
Grissom stood up and bent down in front of me. "What I want to hear is you laugh. What I want to hear is you joking around with the others." He took my hand. "I want you to get better and you're not going to if you don't get help."
"Why does everyone think something's wrong with me? Why can't I just be depressed?" I asked feeling tears welling up threatening to fall.
"Honey, please tell me what's wrong."
"I can't." I told him. "Please leave." Tears began falling and I couldn't stop them if I tried. "Grissom, would you please just leave me alone."
He shook his head. "No." He pulled me into a hug, which is something I would have never expected from him. I can't believe this. First, I balled my eyes out in front of Nicky and now Grissom. 'No wonder they think I'm a mess.' I pulled away from Grissom and wiped my eyes.
"I'm okay." I simply replied.
Grissom glanced down at his watch. "I need to go to work, but I'll stay if you want me to."
I shook my head. "You should go. The lab needs you." If Grissom was offended by that last remark, he didn't show it. Instead he stood up and gave me a smile.
"If you need anything, call me."
I nodded and watched him leave. "Why am I always running my mouth when he's around?" I asked myself. "Now he thinks I really am crazy. Of course I am standing here talking to myself." I walked back into the bedroom and sat down on my bed. My stomach began growling but I ignored it. I'm losing control of other things, but I know the one thing that I can control. I crawled under the covers and went to sleep.
TBC