The next morning came bleak and cold for Wakka. He awoke just before dawn,
and lay in his bed, staring out the window at the lightening flashes.
'It was just me and Lu. I thought she'd see reason by the end of this pilgrimage. Thought she'd come to me if I was just there for her.' Wakka thought.
Idly, he raised a bare foot and scratched at the back of his calf.
The sound of Tidus's snoring across the room had been loud, but Wakka had become accustomed to the noise. It wasn't what had kept him awake last night. Over and over again, he saw the scene played out. Both of them looking like they were ready for bed. Auron carrying his sake jug. Lulu in nothing but her robe. The light so pale in the room.
'Maybe I'm reading too much into it, ya? Maybe they were just discussing the next few stops on Yuna's pilgrimage.' Wakka second-guessed himself.
Lulu had gone on two other pilgrimages before this one. Auron had been all the way to Zanarkand. That was a legitimate scenario.
But the scene hadn't felt like it. There were too many things in the atmosphere....
'I'm getting tired, I can't think. Can't phrase my words right.' Wakka rolled over, and threw his arm over his eyes.
Atmosphere wasn't the right word. The way Auron had stood at Lulu's door wasn't the way it should have been, had they been discussing pilgrimage strategy. It had struck Wakka as clandestine.
Wakka grunted in frustration. He couldn't stand the thought of Auron putting his hands on Lulu. He couldn't stand the thought of him kissing Lu, and laying with her, and waking up next to her. Absolutely couldn't stand it!
Before he knew it, Wakka was out of bed, and dashing across the room to go pound Auron into a pulp.
But he stopped himself just at the door.
'This is crazy.' He thought. 'I can't say for sure that that was happened. I can't accuse Lu and Sir Auron without some kind of proof.'
You don't even have a right to say anything. A little voice said in his mind. She's not yours. Lu's got a right to be with who she chooses.
"Dammit!" Wakka balled up a fist, and pounded it on the door of his room. Tidus continued sleeping, oblivious.
For a moment, Wakka just stood there, at the door to the room he and Tidus shared. He listened to the thunder crash in the background. He could hear the utter silence of the hallway outside the door.
Gradually, he calmed his beating heart, and retreated from the door. Eventually, he ended up back in his own bed.
'Rather be in Lu's bed...' Wakka thought.
And then he was surprised at his own thought. Yes, he was surprised. A little ashamed too. Lulu may be dark. Lulu may be cold sometimes, and untouchable. But Yevon! What he wouldn't do to be able to trace his fingers over her bare skin!
And he felt ashamed because Lulu was his angel. She was the goddess of his idolatry. If he had ever been tempted from worship of Yevon, it was to lay his own sacrament at the altar of Lulu.
Tortured by these thoughts, Wakka rolled over, and clutched his blanket tight to him. Beneath the comfortable wool, he curled into a fetal position, and retreated into memories of the past.
For an instant, Wakka cursed his brother Chappu, and then felt terrible. He shouldn't. He mustn't, but he did resent his brother for making the woman Wakka loved fall in love with Chappu instead. Wakka couldn't count the number of times he'd had to turn his head and look away from Lulu and Chappu kissing, or Lulu and Chappu curling close together around the fire. Even now, after his brother was long-dead, Wakka's blood still boiled.
'She should have been mine.' Wakka thought bitterly. 'I'm a fool. I never speak up. I never say anything. I just keep hoping she'll see that I love her because I'm always there.'
Wakka cursed himself long after the sun had risen, and Tidus had gotten out of bed.
"Hey there, sport! We've got to get going! Get up!" Tidus's obnoxious voice rang out. With a thump, the chipper blond launched himself onto Wakka's bed.
"Ya, we got a big day ahead, huh?" Wakka said, half-heartedly.
It was no use. He wanted to sleep, but Tidus wouldn't let him. The pilgrimage wouldn't let him. He had a duty.
"Yeah! We've got to go catch up with Seymour and let him know that Yuna's dissing him."
"Uhh...Tidus...?" Wakka started.
"And then, after that...what's next? Bevelle?"
"Tidus....?"
"I'm going to go wake up Yuna!" Tidus bounced out of Wakka's bed, and dashed out of the room before Wakka could stir.
With a sigh, he got up. No use postponing the inevitable, he thought.
'I'm going to have to see them together anyway.'
And so he set about his morning ritual. Bath, combing, and morning prayer.
Maybe things would look better after some food...?
*******************************************************
Down the hallway, Auron too, was rising from his bed. Kimahri and Rikku had taken the watch shifts for the night, and so he'd been allowed to sleep as much as he wanted. He woke with the sour taste of old sake in his mouth, and grimacing, he spat.
But then, as Auron went about his morning routine, he found himself thinking once more about the black mage.
As he soaped up his face, and drew a straight razor down the length of his chin, he daydreamed about Lulu combing out the massive length of ebony hair, and plaiting the great mass of it. He daydreamed about her stripping off that damned robe, and soaping up creamy skin. Rising the foam away. Gently chaffing her flesh dry with the softest of towels......
"Dammit....OW!"
The straight razor fell into the basin before him.
With a grunt, and a sigh, Auron bent forward to examine the cut on his jawline in the mirror. It was a doozy. It seemed to bleed quite a bit, and with several more soft curses, he pressed a cloth to the cut.
Just as well. It would teach him to think about women while he had a blade at his throat.
When he again picked up the razor, and attempted to once more, shave, Auron forced his thoughts instead to Tidus. Which invariably led to Wakka, since the two were inseparable.
Wakka had seen him last night. Auron would have to be an idiot to not know that Wakka loved Lulu. There'd be some consequences.
Oh yes. As sure as Yevon made little green apples, there be a consequence or two to deal with.
A sigh.
Auron continued with his shaving.
******************************************
In her own room, Lulu was just about ready to go. Sleep had never come to her. The nightmares of Chappu were too much for her to bear that night, and so, she'd refused them. Instead, she'd learned a new spell. Flare would serve the group well.
Her things were packed. Her hair was done. She was finished with her morning's bath. Now she sat on the edge of her bed, and pulled her stockings on.
Honestly, the encounter with Sir Auron didn't weigh on her mind a whole lot. Instead, it was the things he'd said about Wakka that bothered her.
Fool, she thought.
She'd known for a very long time that what was between her and Wakka was more than just friends. He was more than her brother-in-law. He was more than her friend.
And she'd denied for as long as she could, because it hadn't seemed right.
Not that it hadn't felt right... But she wouldn't think of that now.
With a heavy sigh, Lulu reached for the bottle of clear nail enamel she kept in her pack. Her stockings were prone to runs. She'd have to buy some new ones when they reached Bevelle. Macalania would not stock such things.
Carefully, she dabbed a drop of the clear polish on the run in her toe. Not that it would show, but she'd really rather not have a great run going all the way up her leg, and with her luck, that's exactly where it'd be.
And while that polish dried, she gently pulled her other stocking on, securing it at her thigh with the clip of her garter belt. This stocking too, had runs, and she hiked up her skirts to reach the nearest one at the back of her calf.
As she bent over her handiwork, there was a rap at her door.
"Come in..." She grunted softly. Lulu did not look up. Most likely, it was Yuna, or Rikku.
The person turned the handle, and entered.
And there was silence for the span of a minute or two.
Lulu looked up in annoyance.
"Yes, what is it...?"
And there was Wakka, beet-red as he stared at her.
"I'm sorry, Lu. I didn't know you were busy."
A flush lit up her cheeks. She blew a breath through her bangs, and for the space of a split-second, fanned the hair away from her other eye.
"It's....okay. Like you said...you didn't know."
"Ya." Wakka stood there, and stared at her.
Lulu sat, with the nail enamel brush resting between her thumb and forefinger. Neither said a word.
"Well...?" She prompted.
Wakka jolted as if he'd been slapped, and tore his eyes away from her legs.
"I...uh. I just came to get your pack." He gestured towards the satchel and bedroll, which held Lulu's things. She looked towards where he gestured, never noticing that he was looking at the floor, and at the table...anywhere but at her face.
"Oh. Well...I'm not ready yet. Can you wait a second?"
"Ya." Nervously, Wakka shifted from one foot to the other.
Lulu held up her toe, and inspected the run. The enamel was dry, and she was ready to put on her boots.
"Well, don't just stand there. Help me with this."
"Oh. Yah."
Hesitantly, Wakka stepped over, and took one of Lulu's knee-high boots in his hands. He fumbled with the black leather for a moment, but bent down, and let her slid her foot into it. His hands slipped a bit as he helped her work the boot on.
'What is with him? He acts as if he's handling my underwear, and not my footwear..' Lulu thought to herself.
"Hold the heel." She ordered. And as he did so, she pushed against it with her leg. With a sudden jerk, her foot slid into the bottom part of her boot. Wakka's hands slid up around her calf.
He turned nearly as red as his hair.
Wakka snatched his hands back as if he'd been burnt, and busied himself with the laces.
"Don't know why you wear these things, Lu. You really ought to get something easier to put on." Wakka complained to her.
"You know I like these boots."
"They don't fit you so well no more. Your feet are too big. I've seen those blisters."
Lulu had to bite her lip to keep from snapping at Wakka.
"Chappu bought me these. I'll wear them until they wear out." She tried to say it as nicely as she could. Really.....that was the attachment to the boots.
Besides....Wakka wouldn't be there to help her put on different shoes....
Lulu shook that thought out of her head.
There was silence in the room as Wakka and Lulu repeated the process with her other boot. When both of them were laced up, she gathered her skirt in her hands, and stood. It took a second to reaccustom her feet to the narrow fit, but when she was used to them, the gray leather cascaded down to the floor once more.
"There. I'm ready to go. Is everyone else waiting?"
"Ya. Tidus is downstairs bugging the receptionist though. And Rikku's draggin' her feet. So, I think we're okay."
"All right then."
At this, Wakka bent, and hoisted Lulu's pack to his back, on top of his own. As she watched, Lulu was suddenly struck with a tender moment.
How nice of him to do this for her. Every day of this pilgrimage. Every time he and Lulu, and Yuna had ever gone anywhere...always, Wakka carried her things for her.
Lulu's hand reached out, and rested on his shoulder.
Wakka's eyes widened a bit, and he turned to look at Lulu as if she'd grown a third eye. When he moved to speak, his voice cracked, and he had to clear his throat and try again.
"Everything okay?"
"Yes." Lulu murmured. She looked up at him for a moment. And then, an impulse caught her.
She stretched up on tiptoe, and lay her lips against his cheek. Wakka's reddish stubble brushed roughly against her lips, but she did not mind. In fact...it was even...pleasant....
"Thank you." She said, very softly, as she moved away.
Wakka continued to stare at her as if she'd sprouted another arm to accompany her extra eye. Lulu's purplish lipstick had left a mark on his cheek, near the corner of his mouth. It contrasted nicely with his red cheeks.
"You're welcome." He said, after a moment of struggling.
Lulu's lips quirked upwards in a smile. With that, she patted his arm, and swept from the room, leaving Wakka to stare after her in confused silence.
**To be continued**
'It was just me and Lu. I thought she'd see reason by the end of this pilgrimage. Thought she'd come to me if I was just there for her.' Wakka thought.
Idly, he raised a bare foot and scratched at the back of his calf.
The sound of Tidus's snoring across the room had been loud, but Wakka had become accustomed to the noise. It wasn't what had kept him awake last night. Over and over again, he saw the scene played out. Both of them looking like they were ready for bed. Auron carrying his sake jug. Lulu in nothing but her robe. The light so pale in the room.
'Maybe I'm reading too much into it, ya? Maybe they were just discussing the next few stops on Yuna's pilgrimage.' Wakka second-guessed himself.
Lulu had gone on two other pilgrimages before this one. Auron had been all the way to Zanarkand. That was a legitimate scenario.
But the scene hadn't felt like it. There were too many things in the atmosphere....
'I'm getting tired, I can't think. Can't phrase my words right.' Wakka rolled over, and threw his arm over his eyes.
Atmosphere wasn't the right word. The way Auron had stood at Lulu's door wasn't the way it should have been, had they been discussing pilgrimage strategy. It had struck Wakka as clandestine.
Wakka grunted in frustration. He couldn't stand the thought of Auron putting his hands on Lulu. He couldn't stand the thought of him kissing Lu, and laying with her, and waking up next to her. Absolutely couldn't stand it!
Before he knew it, Wakka was out of bed, and dashing across the room to go pound Auron into a pulp.
But he stopped himself just at the door.
'This is crazy.' He thought. 'I can't say for sure that that was happened. I can't accuse Lu and Sir Auron without some kind of proof.'
You don't even have a right to say anything. A little voice said in his mind. She's not yours. Lu's got a right to be with who she chooses.
"Dammit!" Wakka balled up a fist, and pounded it on the door of his room. Tidus continued sleeping, oblivious.
For a moment, Wakka just stood there, at the door to the room he and Tidus shared. He listened to the thunder crash in the background. He could hear the utter silence of the hallway outside the door.
Gradually, he calmed his beating heart, and retreated from the door. Eventually, he ended up back in his own bed.
'Rather be in Lu's bed...' Wakka thought.
And then he was surprised at his own thought. Yes, he was surprised. A little ashamed too. Lulu may be dark. Lulu may be cold sometimes, and untouchable. But Yevon! What he wouldn't do to be able to trace his fingers over her bare skin!
And he felt ashamed because Lulu was his angel. She was the goddess of his idolatry. If he had ever been tempted from worship of Yevon, it was to lay his own sacrament at the altar of Lulu.
Tortured by these thoughts, Wakka rolled over, and clutched his blanket tight to him. Beneath the comfortable wool, he curled into a fetal position, and retreated into memories of the past.
For an instant, Wakka cursed his brother Chappu, and then felt terrible. He shouldn't. He mustn't, but he did resent his brother for making the woman Wakka loved fall in love with Chappu instead. Wakka couldn't count the number of times he'd had to turn his head and look away from Lulu and Chappu kissing, or Lulu and Chappu curling close together around the fire. Even now, after his brother was long-dead, Wakka's blood still boiled.
'She should have been mine.' Wakka thought bitterly. 'I'm a fool. I never speak up. I never say anything. I just keep hoping she'll see that I love her because I'm always there.'
Wakka cursed himself long after the sun had risen, and Tidus had gotten out of bed.
"Hey there, sport! We've got to get going! Get up!" Tidus's obnoxious voice rang out. With a thump, the chipper blond launched himself onto Wakka's bed.
"Ya, we got a big day ahead, huh?" Wakka said, half-heartedly.
It was no use. He wanted to sleep, but Tidus wouldn't let him. The pilgrimage wouldn't let him. He had a duty.
"Yeah! We've got to go catch up with Seymour and let him know that Yuna's dissing him."
"Uhh...Tidus...?" Wakka started.
"And then, after that...what's next? Bevelle?"
"Tidus....?"
"I'm going to go wake up Yuna!" Tidus bounced out of Wakka's bed, and dashed out of the room before Wakka could stir.
With a sigh, he got up. No use postponing the inevitable, he thought.
'I'm going to have to see them together anyway.'
And so he set about his morning ritual. Bath, combing, and morning prayer.
Maybe things would look better after some food...?
*******************************************************
Down the hallway, Auron too, was rising from his bed. Kimahri and Rikku had taken the watch shifts for the night, and so he'd been allowed to sleep as much as he wanted. He woke with the sour taste of old sake in his mouth, and grimacing, he spat.
But then, as Auron went about his morning routine, he found himself thinking once more about the black mage.
As he soaped up his face, and drew a straight razor down the length of his chin, he daydreamed about Lulu combing out the massive length of ebony hair, and plaiting the great mass of it. He daydreamed about her stripping off that damned robe, and soaping up creamy skin. Rising the foam away. Gently chaffing her flesh dry with the softest of towels......
"Dammit....OW!"
The straight razor fell into the basin before him.
With a grunt, and a sigh, Auron bent forward to examine the cut on his jawline in the mirror. It was a doozy. It seemed to bleed quite a bit, and with several more soft curses, he pressed a cloth to the cut.
Just as well. It would teach him to think about women while he had a blade at his throat.
When he again picked up the razor, and attempted to once more, shave, Auron forced his thoughts instead to Tidus. Which invariably led to Wakka, since the two were inseparable.
Wakka had seen him last night. Auron would have to be an idiot to not know that Wakka loved Lulu. There'd be some consequences.
Oh yes. As sure as Yevon made little green apples, there be a consequence or two to deal with.
A sigh.
Auron continued with his shaving.
******************************************
In her own room, Lulu was just about ready to go. Sleep had never come to her. The nightmares of Chappu were too much for her to bear that night, and so, she'd refused them. Instead, she'd learned a new spell. Flare would serve the group well.
Her things were packed. Her hair was done. She was finished with her morning's bath. Now she sat on the edge of her bed, and pulled her stockings on.
Honestly, the encounter with Sir Auron didn't weigh on her mind a whole lot. Instead, it was the things he'd said about Wakka that bothered her.
Fool, she thought.
She'd known for a very long time that what was between her and Wakka was more than just friends. He was more than her brother-in-law. He was more than her friend.
And she'd denied for as long as she could, because it hadn't seemed right.
Not that it hadn't felt right... But she wouldn't think of that now.
With a heavy sigh, Lulu reached for the bottle of clear nail enamel she kept in her pack. Her stockings were prone to runs. She'd have to buy some new ones when they reached Bevelle. Macalania would not stock such things.
Carefully, she dabbed a drop of the clear polish on the run in her toe. Not that it would show, but she'd really rather not have a great run going all the way up her leg, and with her luck, that's exactly where it'd be.
And while that polish dried, she gently pulled her other stocking on, securing it at her thigh with the clip of her garter belt. This stocking too, had runs, and she hiked up her skirts to reach the nearest one at the back of her calf.
As she bent over her handiwork, there was a rap at her door.
"Come in..." She grunted softly. Lulu did not look up. Most likely, it was Yuna, or Rikku.
The person turned the handle, and entered.
And there was silence for the span of a minute or two.
Lulu looked up in annoyance.
"Yes, what is it...?"
And there was Wakka, beet-red as he stared at her.
"I'm sorry, Lu. I didn't know you were busy."
A flush lit up her cheeks. She blew a breath through her bangs, and for the space of a split-second, fanned the hair away from her other eye.
"It's....okay. Like you said...you didn't know."
"Ya." Wakka stood there, and stared at her.
Lulu sat, with the nail enamel brush resting between her thumb and forefinger. Neither said a word.
"Well...?" She prompted.
Wakka jolted as if he'd been slapped, and tore his eyes away from her legs.
"I...uh. I just came to get your pack." He gestured towards the satchel and bedroll, which held Lulu's things. She looked towards where he gestured, never noticing that he was looking at the floor, and at the table...anywhere but at her face.
"Oh. Well...I'm not ready yet. Can you wait a second?"
"Ya." Nervously, Wakka shifted from one foot to the other.
Lulu held up her toe, and inspected the run. The enamel was dry, and she was ready to put on her boots.
"Well, don't just stand there. Help me with this."
"Oh. Yah."
Hesitantly, Wakka stepped over, and took one of Lulu's knee-high boots in his hands. He fumbled with the black leather for a moment, but bent down, and let her slid her foot into it. His hands slipped a bit as he helped her work the boot on.
'What is with him? He acts as if he's handling my underwear, and not my footwear..' Lulu thought to herself.
"Hold the heel." She ordered. And as he did so, she pushed against it with her leg. With a sudden jerk, her foot slid into the bottom part of her boot. Wakka's hands slid up around her calf.
He turned nearly as red as his hair.
Wakka snatched his hands back as if he'd been burnt, and busied himself with the laces.
"Don't know why you wear these things, Lu. You really ought to get something easier to put on." Wakka complained to her.
"You know I like these boots."
"They don't fit you so well no more. Your feet are too big. I've seen those blisters."
Lulu had to bite her lip to keep from snapping at Wakka.
"Chappu bought me these. I'll wear them until they wear out." She tried to say it as nicely as she could. Really.....that was the attachment to the boots.
Besides....Wakka wouldn't be there to help her put on different shoes....
Lulu shook that thought out of her head.
There was silence in the room as Wakka and Lulu repeated the process with her other boot. When both of them were laced up, she gathered her skirt in her hands, and stood. It took a second to reaccustom her feet to the narrow fit, but when she was used to them, the gray leather cascaded down to the floor once more.
"There. I'm ready to go. Is everyone else waiting?"
"Ya. Tidus is downstairs bugging the receptionist though. And Rikku's draggin' her feet. So, I think we're okay."
"All right then."
At this, Wakka bent, and hoisted Lulu's pack to his back, on top of his own. As she watched, Lulu was suddenly struck with a tender moment.
How nice of him to do this for her. Every day of this pilgrimage. Every time he and Lulu, and Yuna had ever gone anywhere...always, Wakka carried her things for her.
Lulu's hand reached out, and rested on his shoulder.
Wakka's eyes widened a bit, and he turned to look at Lulu as if she'd grown a third eye. When he moved to speak, his voice cracked, and he had to clear his throat and try again.
"Everything okay?"
"Yes." Lulu murmured. She looked up at him for a moment. And then, an impulse caught her.
She stretched up on tiptoe, and lay her lips against his cheek. Wakka's reddish stubble brushed roughly against her lips, but she did not mind. In fact...it was even...pleasant....
"Thank you." She said, very softly, as she moved away.
Wakka continued to stare at her as if she'd sprouted another arm to accompany her extra eye. Lulu's purplish lipstick had left a mark on his cheek, near the corner of his mouth. It contrasted nicely with his red cheeks.
"You're welcome." He said, after a moment of struggling.
Lulu's lips quirked upwards in a smile. With that, she patted his arm, and swept from the room, leaving Wakka to stare after her in confused silence.
**To be continued**