***Note: I still don't own Square Enix, or the characters of this game.
Dammit.***
Chapter 14
In the morning, the group set out once more. Depsite Tidus's best efforts the previous night, Yuna decided that continuing with her pilgrimage was the best thing to do. When she and Lulu spoke in hushed tones, it was revealed that she would feel so guilty about giving up on what she had promised to do, that she could not go through with it. Yuna also didn't know what to do with herself. Defeating Sin was her purpose. Regardless of whether it meant her life or not.
Slowly, the seven of them moved out of the Macalania area, and near the Calm Lands. The air grew cooler, and the breezes began to pick up. Lulu was ever the more thankful for Auron's warmth in her bedroll at night.
The two were open now. Tidus seemed bewildered. Wakka grew sullen, and hardly spoke. None of the others mentioned anything, although they watched Lulu and Auron from time to time. It was awkward as hell, but they all grew used to seeing Auron's hand come down on the small of Lulu's back from time to time as they walked. They grew used to seeing her fingers brush through his hair, and the smile on his face as he watched her. By the time the group crested the outlook onto the large meadow of the Calm Lands, all were in high spirits once more, except for Wakka. And he could not be helped at all.
As they all looked out over the Calm Lands, Tidus came up behind where Lulu and Auron stood. The dark woman shivered, and crossed her arms over her chest as she looked silently, towards the mountains on the far side. Auron edged closer to her, his right arm coming to rest around her waist. Tidus looked to them, with a questioning glance in his eyes. This was a mellow place, right? It didn't look so bad.
"The Calm Lands. Long ago, the high summoners fought Sin here." Lulu's voice was soft. She sounded hushed, as if speaking in library, or cathedral. "The road ends here. Beyond, there's no towns. No villages. Only endless plains."
"Many summoners stray from their path and lose their way here." Auron interjected.
With a low whistle, Tidus turned and looked on the Calm Lands with changed eyes. It was like looking down on a graveyard. How many had died here? And now he understood why Lulu and Auron could be so quiet; In the next few days the group would be crossing a burial ground, a battlefield. Where they slept, others had died.
The Calm Lands were immense. It would take them two days to cross the vast plain. It was essential that the group stop at Rin's agency, and fill up on rations. It was odd, to Lulu, to be handing her purchases to Auron, instead of Wakka; it was odd to see Auron carrying her satchel, along with his.
But she got used to it quickly.
The first night, the group stopped in the shadow of a large machina ruin. There had once been a city here, a long, long time ago. A thousand years ago. How many summoners had laid their hands on this ruin, Lulu wondered, and decided to give up their pilgrimage once and for all? Here, Father Zuke's pilgrimage had ended. She remembered how relieved Wakka had been that night, when the three of them had clustered around a fire, and Father Zuke had told the two of his decision. They had both been so young....
"It is time to sleep." Auron's voice whispered in her ear, and disrupted her reverie. Lulu took her hands off the ancient ruin, and turned her head to gaze at him. A faint smile came and stayed on her lips.
"Kimahri has first watch, and then Tidus and Rikku." Auron's lips brushed her earlobe. "Come and sleep. You and I will be watching tomorrow night."
"How many people stopped here?" Lulu's voice came out of the blue, and surprised Auron.
He had thought that he had managed to turn the tide of her thoughts, and take the sad thoughtfulness from her face. But he was wrong.
"In the span of a thousand years, there is no way to know for sure."
Auron's hands closed over Lulu's, and he led her back through the shadows to the campfire. Wakka sat sullen on his blanket, inspecting one of his blitzballs, though Lulu suspected he was not really seeing it, just staring through it. She heard the laughter and giggling of Rikku and Yuna, though she didn't really hear it. Didn't really comprehend it.
The moon ascended the night sky. Soon enough, the guardians, and their summoner drifted off into sleep. Kimahri sat awake, his back braced against a ruin, and lance in hand. He watched over the sleepers, and listened to the stirrings in the night.
He was not the only one awake, however. With Auron curled at her back, arms around her form, Lulu laid with her arm propped beneath her head, and stared into the fire. So many things going through her head. So many thoughts.
'Do I love him, because he makes me happy? Or do I love him because I am lonely?'
It was a good thing, she told herself, to ask that question. She had known for a very long time that Wakka was in love with her, and denied it. She had denied it because of Chappu, because of propriety. She did not want to be with Auron now, out of loneliness. She wanted to be with him because they understood each other, and because her soul felt peace, for the first time, in a long time.
Her red eyes went from the flames, to where Wakka lay. He was not asleep either, but laying on his back, staring up at the stars. As she watched, he brushed a hand over his nose, his lips, and then rubbed his eyes. For the first time, she saw the circles under his eyes, and it unsettled her. Poor Wakka. He had made such an effort. He'd tried so hard. But it came too late for her. She didn't want to be wanted because he thought he was losing her. She wanted to be wanted just for her. For the good times, when it didn't look like she would be going away, or stop loving him. She had wanted Wakka to speak up when things were golden, or at least, appeared to be. Not when he had competition, and his coveted place in her life would be lost. That wasn't love. It was cowardice. It was wanting to have your cake, and eat it too, and Lulu couldn't tolerate that.
Wakka's head rolled to the side, and for a moment, his eyes connected with hers. They stared at each other through the flames, and Lulu wished she could tell him all this. She wished she could tell him and drive it home. Instead, she knew that if she sat him down, and explained it all, it would bounce off, and there would be so many excuses. Auron had moved towards her in the good times. He had not abandoned her in the bad. Wakka only needed her in the bad times.
Lulu was surprised to find a wetness tracing down her cheek. She put her hand to her face, and found tears on her fingertips. Once more, she looked to Wakka, watching her. His eyes seemed to want to say so much, seemed to plead. And suddenly, she couldn't take it anymore.
In the bedroll, Lulu braced her arm, and rolled herself over. Putting her back to Wakka, and her face to Auron. Auron's hand came down on her shoulder, and he made a face in his sleep. Lips came down on her cheek, and then he settled once more. From her back, Lulu heard a deep sigh, and then silence.
Utter, total silence. Then she slept.
***********************************
A hour before dawn, the fire died, and Rikku sat awake. Her swirled eyes gazed out into the stillness of the Calm Lands. She twitched, full of energy, looking this way and that. Endeavoring to be the ever-vigilant guardian. Auron lay awake, watching her, and periodically looking down at the sleeping mage in his arms.
'One way or another, this will end.' He thought.
Idly, he tucked the edge of his coat tighter around Lulu, and kissed her cheek.
'One way or another, I'll be sent at the end of this pilgrimage.'
And what would happen to Lulu? More death. He had no doubt that she'd soldier on. Continue wearing her blacks and greys. Continue with her study of all magics dealing death and destruction. Was it right for him to let her think things could be peachy, and wonderful? He hadn't been....entirely honest with her. She had no idea that he was unsent, and she was in love with a dead man.
Sleeping with a dead man.
He couldn't ask her to wait for him. To go onto the Farplane, and ask her to live out her days never loving another, and wait to love again after she herself was dead. That was such a very long time. He couldn't give her all the things he knew she must want. Children, happy home life. He couldn't marry her, then ask her to spend the rest of her life waiting to go to him. It just wasn't right.
"I love you." Auron whispered to Lulu.
He watched her eyelids flutter, and then her arms tighten around him as she snuggled closer to him in sleep.
As much as he loathed the idea, perhaps he should cast her away. Let her get on with her life with someone else, and hope......hope that she came to him on the Farplane.
But as he watched her sleep....he couldn't do it. Sooner would he tear out his other eye, and cast it away.
He would just....have to think of something else. There had to be another option.
Chapter 14
In the morning, the group set out once more. Depsite Tidus's best efforts the previous night, Yuna decided that continuing with her pilgrimage was the best thing to do. When she and Lulu spoke in hushed tones, it was revealed that she would feel so guilty about giving up on what she had promised to do, that she could not go through with it. Yuna also didn't know what to do with herself. Defeating Sin was her purpose. Regardless of whether it meant her life or not.
Slowly, the seven of them moved out of the Macalania area, and near the Calm Lands. The air grew cooler, and the breezes began to pick up. Lulu was ever the more thankful for Auron's warmth in her bedroll at night.
The two were open now. Tidus seemed bewildered. Wakka grew sullen, and hardly spoke. None of the others mentioned anything, although they watched Lulu and Auron from time to time. It was awkward as hell, but they all grew used to seeing Auron's hand come down on the small of Lulu's back from time to time as they walked. They grew used to seeing her fingers brush through his hair, and the smile on his face as he watched her. By the time the group crested the outlook onto the large meadow of the Calm Lands, all were in high spirits once more, except for Wakka. And he could not be helped at all.
As they all looked out over the Calm Lands, Tidus came up behind where Lulu and Auron stood. The dark woman shivered, and crossed her arms over her chest as she looked silently, towards the mountains on the far side. Auron edged closer to her, his right arm coming to rest around her waist. Tidus looked to them, with a questioning glance in his eyes. This was a mellow place, right? It didn't look so bad.
"The Calm Lands. Long ago, the high summoners fought Sin here." Lulu's voice was soft. She sounded hushed, as if speaking in library, or cathedral. "The road ends here. Beyond, there's no towns. No villages. Only endless plains."
"Many summoners stray from their path and lose their way here." Auron interjected.
With a low whistle, Tidus turned and looked on the Calm Lands with changed eyes. It was like looking down on a graveyard. How many had died here? And now he understood why Lulu and Auron could be so quiet; In the next few days the group would be crossing a burial ground, a battlefield. Where they slept, others had died.
The Calm Lands were immense. It would take them two days to cross the vast plain. It was essential that the group stop at Rin's agency, and fill up on rations. It was odd, to Lulu, to be handing her purchases to Auron, instead of Wakka; it was odd to see Auron carrying her satchel, along with his.
But she got used to it quickly.
The first night, the group stopped in the shadow of a large machina ruin. There had once been a city here, a long, long time ago. A thousand years ago. How many summoners had laid their hands on this ruin, Lulu wondered, and decided to give up their pilgrimage once and for all? Here, Father Zuke's pilgrimage had ended. She remembered how relieved Wakka had been that night, when the three of them had clustered around a fire, and Father Zuke had told the two of his decision. They had both been so young....
"It is time to sleep." Auron's voice whispered in her ear, and disrupted her reverie. Lulu took her hands off the ancient ruin, and turned her head to gaze at him. A faint smile came and stayed on her lips.
"Kimahri has first watch, and then Tidus and Rikku." Auron's lips brushed her earlobe. "Come and sleep. You and I will be watching tomorrow night."
"How many people stopped here?" Lulu's voice came out of the blue, and surprised Auron.
He had thought that he had managed to turn the tide of her thoughts, and take the sad thoughtfulness from her face. But he was wrong.
"In the span of a thousand years, there is no way to know for sure."
Auron's hands closed over Lulu's, and he led her back through the shadows to the campfire. Wakka sat sullen on his blanket, inspecting one of his blitzballs, though Lulu suspected he was not really seeing it, just staring through it. She heard the laughter and giggling of Rikku and Yuna, though she didn't really hear it. Didn't really comprehend it.
The moon ascended the night sky. Soon enough, the guardians, and their summoner drifted off into sleep. Kimahri sat awake, his back braced against a ruin, and lance in hand. He watched over the sleepers, and listened to the stirrings in the night.
He was not the only one awake, however. With Auron curled at her back, arms around her form, Lulu laid with her arm propped beneath her head, and stared into the fire. So many things going through her head. So many thoughts.
'Do I love him, because he makes me happy? Or do I love him because I am lonely?'
It was a good thing, she told herself, to ask that question. She had known for a very long time that Wakka was in love with her, and denied it. She had denied it because of Chappu, because of propriety. She did not want to be with Auron now, out of loneliness. She wanted to be with him because they understood each other, and because her soul felt peace, for the first time, in a long time.
Her red eyes went from the flames, to where Wakka lay. He was not asleep either, but laying on his back, staring up at the stars. As she watched, he brushed a hand over his nose, his lips, and then rubbed his eyes. For the first time, she saw the circles under his eyes, and it unsettled her. Poor Wakka. He had made such an effort. He'd tried so hard. But it came too late for her. She didn't want to be wanted because he thought he was losing her. She wanted to be wanted just for her. For the good times, when it didn't look like she would be going away, or stop loving him. She had wanted Wakka to speak up when things were golden, or at least, appeared to be. Not when he had competition, and his coveted place in her life would be lost. That wasn't love. It was cowardice. It was wanting to have your cake, and eat it too, and Lulu couldn't tolerate that.
Wakka's head rolled to the side, and for a moment, his eyes connected with hers. They stared at each other through the flames, and Lulu wished she could tell him all this. She wished she could tell him and drive it home. Instead, she knew that if she sat him down, and explained it all, it would bounce off, and there would be so many excuses. Auron had moved towards her in the good times. He had not abandoned her in the bad. Wakka only needed her in the bad times.
Lulu was surprised to find a wetness tracing down her cheek. She put her hand to her face, and found tears on her fingertips. Once more, she looked to Wakka, watching her. His eyes seemed to want to say so much, seemed to plead. And suddenly, she couldn't take it anymore.
In the bedroll, Lulu braced her arm, and rolled herself over. Putting her back to Wakka, and her face to Auron. Auron's hand came down on her shoulder, and he made a face in his sleep. Lips came down on her cheek, and then he settled once more. From her back, Lulu heard a deep sigh, and then silence.
Utter, total silence. Then she slept.
***********************************
A hour before dawn, the fire died, and Rikku sat awake. Her swirled eyes gazed out into the stillness of the Calm Lands. She twitched, full of energy, looking this way and that. Endeavoring to be the ever-vigilant guardian. Auron lay awake, watching her, and periodically looking down at the sleeping mage in his arms.
'One way or another, this will end.' He thought.
Idly, he tucked the edge of his coat tighter around Lulu, and kissed her cheek.
'One way or another, I'll be sent at the end of this pilgrimage.'
And what would happen to Lulu? More death. He had no doubt that she'd soldier on. Continue wearing her blacks and greys. Continue with her study of all magics dealing death and destruction. Was it right for him to let her think things could be peachy, and wonderful? He hadn't been....entirely honest with her. She had no idea that he was unsent, and she was in love with a dead man.
Sleeping with a dead man.
He couldn't ask her to wait for him. To go onto the Farplane, and ask her to live out her days never loving another, and wait to love again after she herself was dead. That was such a very long time. He couldn't give her all the things he knew she must want. Children, happy home life. He couldn't marry her, then ask her to spend the rest of her life waiting to go to him. It just wasn't right.
"I love you." Auron whispered to Lulu.
He watched her eyelids flutter, and then her arms tighten around him as she snuggled closer to him in sleep.
As much as he loathed the idea, perhaps he should cast her away. Let her get on with her life with someone else, and hope......hope that she came to him on the Farplane.
But as he watched her sleep....he couldn't do it. Sooner would he tear out his other eye, and cast it away.
He would just....have to think of something else. There had to be another option.