Chapter 3 – An Unforeseen Setback
Poshul, Pip, Neo Fio, Turnip, Starkey, Mojo, Irenes, Sprigg, Razzly, Janice, Harle, Lynx, and Draggy were not happy. Indeed, as the thirteen gathered together around a little pond at the south westernmost corner of Lizard Rock, they would not have hesitated to tell whoever might ask that they were the exact literal opposite of happy, and certainly would not have hesitated to tell you why. This is rather odd, as Pierre, who had been sent with them, did ask why several times, but was merely met with the order to shut up, or a fearsome glare from Lynx, which was much more effective. Even the bravest of souls might quail when facing down and angry Lynx, and Pierre was far from the bravest of souls.
Thus it was that Pierre sat balanced precariously on the very edge of the rock overlooking the pond and listened silently as the rest of the group that Serge had sent him with to search for one of the Komodo Dragon scales, nursed their grievances loudly and without sugar-coating.
"It iz just not fair," Harle exclaimed. "Just because we were born non-humanz, why must we be always segregated like zis? It iz no less than prejudice of ze most shameful kind!"
"Testify, sister!" Draggy chirped adorably, his wings beating the air frantically. At approximately two-and-a-half weeks old, it is doubtful whether Draggy actually understood what it was that Harle was getting so worked up about, but with all these people gathered together, all talking at once, even singing songs occasionally, it all smacked of party-time to the tiny dragon, and he was darned if he was going to be left out, simply because he didn't entirely grasp the situation!
"It haz been happening throughout history," Harle continued after shooting Draggy a quick, fond smile. So young and innocent…so unknowing of the harsh ways of reality… "Marbule! Ze S.S. Zelbess and their atrocious treatment of our kind!"
"Excuse me, Harle," Janice spoke up, frowning slightly, "but from my days on the Zelbess, I don't think I remember seeing any CLOWNS in slavery."
"I am not a clown!" Harle said, quite offended. "I am a harlequin! Zere iz a world of difference!"
"Fine, then. I don't remember seeing any HARLEQUINS in slavery."
"Zat iz not ze point," Harle informed her haughtily. "Ze point iz zat zese humanz cannot keep on shoving us to ze side as though we don't exzist."
"Today is a perfect example," Lynx continued, standing up beside her. "Isn't it just a little too convenient, the way all the non-humans were sent with this one group?"
"Excuse moi, Monsieur Lynx," Pierre spoke up, admiring his reflection in the water, practising his suave smile and almost giggling in delight at the dazzling whiteness of his teeth, "but how would you explain moi's being sent with this group, then? Aside, naturally, from the fact that each group needs a dashing hero. I wonder how the other groups are doing, without moi…"
Lynx gritted his many, very sharp teeth.
"And that's another thing! As if they weren't giving us the shaft enough by segregating us like this, they send Pierre with us!"
"I'm sure Monsieur Serge is well aware of your gratitude," Pierre laughed in the most refined and aggravating manner possible.
"Exactly what I was saying," Lynx growled sarcastically, wondering not for the first time if killing a playable character was considered a punishable offence. After all, if Sephiroth could do it, why on earth couldn't he, Lynx, do it? Certainly, he had a world more reason than Sephiroth had…
Fortunately for everyone who might have wanted Pierre alive for any reason, it was at this moment that Serge and the rest of the very, very large party effectively prevented Lynx from committing murder by happening onto the scene.
"Hey, guys," the young man began cheerfully before trailing off, eyes narrowing suspiciously. "What are you doing, anyway? You're supposed to be looking for a Komodo Dragon!"
"We've got yer damn scale," Sprigg informed him sourly, thrusting the small object at him so suddenly that it nearly met an ignominious end by falling to the ground and shattering.
Serge watched, blinking in confusion as Sprigg walked off in a huff, followed by thirteen other people and various other creatures, twelve sporting similar huffs, and Pierre still beamingly missing the point.
He turned to the crowd surrounding him.
"Uh…what the heck happened?"
No one, it seemed, could enlighten him.
--------------------------------------
"Finally! We're finished!" Serge sighed as he stalked from Lizard Rock to Opassa Beach, the three perfect, shining Komodo Scales clutched tightly – but not too tightly lest they shatter – in his hand. "Leena had better really appreciate these."
"Were you talking to me, Serge?" Leena called from several paces behind him, where she was engaged in deep conversation with Orlha and with Miki, who had been very grateful for Doc's services following her run-in with a Komodo Dragon scared senseless. Pierre had also been equally grateful for Doc's skills following a rather nasty incident in which he learned that there were just certain times that it wasn't safe to talk to Lynx: most of them.
"Not you; the other Leena," Serge replied through gritted teeth. After all, he didn't want to get mad at this girl. He had his own Leena mad at him often enough, and making this other one mad at him just seemed like bad karma…or something. Maybe he should have bothered getting to bed last night rather than this morning...
"Oh; okay!" Leena chirped.
"So, should we all wait outside while you go in?" Glenn asked as they reached the beach.
"Please!" Serge exclaimed immediately. Then he frowned. "Hmm…on second thought, if you wait outside, you might miss something really important, although I have no idea what it might be."
"We won't get to see ya get lucky with yer little girlfriend," Karsh laughed.
Riddell blinked.
"Somehow, I don't really mind that..."
"Me, neither," Leena agreed with a shiver. "It seems like that would just be a little creepy."
"Just think how it would be for the other one!" Nikki pointed out solemnly, but with dancing eyes. "All those people watching her…"
The rest of the group, save for Serge, Kid, Harle, Leena, and Riddel, who was really far too much of a lady to be hearing about such things, laughed. Serge, Kid, and Harle glared so icily at Nikki that he declared when telling of it afterwards that his mascara had nearly frozen solid. Leena merely blushed brightly and hid her face in her apron.
"Forget it, okay, guys?" Serge pleaded with the still-snickering group. "Let's just go to the beach, okay?"
"It occurs to me at this point that ve are missing Guile and Steena, as vell as all of the children," Luccia noted, glancing around.
"They can catch up," Serge said inexorably, not turning.
"Vell…okay," Luccia agreed dubiously.
Together, the very large group entered the beach and settled themselves on the sand to wait for the other Leena.
Serge bounced his heel impatiently against the sand.
Someone began to whistle a jaunty tune.
Lynx waved his weapon menacingly.
Someone stopped whistling their jaunty tune.
Serge stood up with an exasperated noise.
"So, where the heck is Leena?"
"What? I'm right here," the redhead called from a few feet away.
"Ergh..." Serge erghed, gritting his teeth. "Not you. The other Leena."
"Oh," she giggled sheepishly. "Right."
The very large group continued to wait in silence for several more minutes, before the silence was broken by a not-at-all concealed snicker.
Everyone looked up sharply at its source.
"Kid?" Serge pressed. "What's so funny?"
"Nothin'," she assured him, grinning hugely.
"Kid," Serge repeated, a trace of menace creeping into his tone. "What's so funny?"
"Nothin'," she repeated, her grin widening.
"Kid! What's so funny?" Serge demanded, beginning to froth ever so slightly at the mouth.
"Aw, fine, I'll tell ya," Kid grumbled. "Y'know how Miki caught one of those Komodos and got the scale for ya, and I got another one?"
"Well, as I remember, Macha hit it in the head with a frying pan and I took the scale itself," Serge said thoughtfully.
"Try to stay with me, eh, mate?" Kid requested dryly. "Point is, ya didn't get all three yerself, right?"
"Uh...does that matter?" Serge asked, his mouth going dry over this new possibility of just one more way things could go wrong.
"Far as I can tell, that's why yer sheila's not comin'," Kid told him indifferently. "Ya didn't get the scales all yerself, which ya hafta do to trigger a plot point."
"A plot point?" Doc repeated, scratching his head.
Luccia looked quite intrigued.
"Tell me more about this, how do you say, 'plot point,'" she requested, putting a hand to her chin thoughtfully.
"I just mean," Kid said impatiently, "that nothin's gonna happen until Serge gets off his lazy arse and gets all three of those Komodo Scales himself."
"But...but...but we've already killed all the Komodo Dragons in the area!" Serge wailed miserably.
"Great," Karsh grumbled. Then he blinked. "There were only three Komodo Dragons in all of Lizard Rock? Seems kinda funny to me…"
"You did not catch all the dragons in the area," Irenes spoke up from further out on the shore, where she was attempting to take the edge off her water withdrawal by letting the waves crash over her. "When I was swimming earlier, I saw several more."
Fargo frowned.
"There's somethin' different about the way yer talkin', lass."
"Yeah, Auntie Irenes," Nikki agreed. "You're missing your umlauts."
Mysteriously, Irenes' fist connected with the top of Nikki's head, despite the several yards of distance between the two.
"Just call me Irenes," she suggested, a cigarette hanging out of the corner of her mouth for some reason, only to disappear the next second as Serge, hope flickering back into his face, bounded over the sand towards her.
"Are you serious?!" he exclaimed, ignoring Nikki's groan of pain as he lay twitching in the sand. "There are more Komodos?"
"Of course," she replied with a shrug. "There are hundreds."
"Great!" Glenn said enthusiastically, bounding to his feet. "Let's go catch one!"
Serge's face fell.
"Oh. Right. I forgot about that part."
Kid turned her face imploringly to the skies.
"WHY MY?!" she shouted.
----------------------------------------------------
Still, despite the hardship and glaring annoyance of the situation, at long last Serge managed to catch the three necessary scales himself. As he, Glenn, and Leena hummed a very jaunty song of victory as the Komodo collapsed to the ground and vanished, leaving only its scale, it seemed as though the plot could finally progress.
Not quite, though.
Just as the three turned to leave, pausing first to pick up the scale, the ground began to rumble faintly, and the shriek of something that sounded very large and very, very angry, echoed through the air.
Serge looked at Leena.
Leena looked at Glenn.
Glenn looked adoringly at his sword.
Leena gave Glenn a gentle knock on the head with her frying pan to get her attention.
Glen rubbed his head and pouted.
Serge gritted his teeth.
The Mother Komodo, who had shown up just in time to see a third offspring fall, waited impatiently for the group to notice her.
"Uh, guys?" Leena whispered to the two young men.
"Yeah?" Serge asked slowly, not altogether liking the feeling that he was being watched. By something other than the thirty-five or so humans and other creatures currently staring at him from the sidelines of the battle area that seemed to have come out of nowhere. He was pretty sure it had been all narrow paths and ponds before; where had this convenient expanse of flat land come from?
"Do you think that's a bad sign?" Leena asked.
Serge turned to look.
Glenn turned to look.
Serge turned to Glenn.
Glenn, learning a lesson from Leena's frying pan, turned to Serge.
Both turned to Leena.
"Yes," they said in unison.
"Oh! Okay," she chirped. "Just asking."
-------------------------------------------------
[Note: Due to budget problems stemming from the expense of catering and costume for the entire cast, this battle scene has been deleted. Rest assured, though, that it was really cool, with blood and guts and everything.]
-------------------------------------------------
"Wow!" Serge exclaimed as the group headed, once again, for Opassa Beach. "That was really cool!"
"Yeah," Glenn agreed enthusiastically. "It had blood and guts and everything!"
"Boys," Leena sighed, smiling fondly at Glenn, who blushed slightly.
"Let's just get to the beach, okay?" Kid suggested edgily.
-------------------------------------------------
"Here we are on the beach," Serge announced cheerfully fifteen minutes later when the entire group had gotten themselves settled on the sand.
"We noticed, mate," Kid told him through gritted teeth. "The sand and salt water kinda helped with that."
"Serge? Are you…here?"
The newcomer's voice trailed off, bewilderedly, as she took in the crowd waiting on the shore.
"Oh! Hey, Leena," Serge greeted, leaping to his feet.
"Hi, me!" the other Leena called with a giggle, waving.
"Um…hi, Serge. And…uh…hi, me. I hope you – all of you – haven't been waiting too long."
At this point, Poshul pushed forward from the crowd, who had turned to closely watch this meeting between young lovers.
"Are Sergie and Leena on a date? Me think we all should reave!"
"Don't be silly, Poshul," Leena said severely. "We're fine. So…"
"So…" Serge echoed, frowning over his shoulder at the thirty-five people and others watching in fascination.
"Just ignore us," Lynx called. "Talk as you would normally."
"Well, maybe not exactly as you would normally," Karsh laughed coarsely.
"R-right," Leena agreed with a ghost of a laugh. "So…Serge. Have you ever noticed the…uh…the ocean?"
"Uh, yeah. Once or twice," Serge replied. "What about it?"
"Well, it's…it's
sure…big."
"Yeah," Serge agreed. "And wet."
"This is what ya talk about with yer girl?" Kid asked, a sweatdrop suspended in mid-air beside her head. "Maybe I've been worryin' about nothin'."
"Hey, I'd be a lot more eloquent normally, but I'm kind of put off by the audience," Leena said defensively.
"Fair enough," Kid shrugged. "Just ask him yer questions and let's get on with it."
Leena blinked.
"Questions?" Then a light seemed to break over her expression. "Oh! Right! The questions!"
She withdrew a pile of cue cards from her apron pocket.
"First question! Serge, do you remember when we used to come sit here and talk like this? I'm thinking of one day specifically…"
"Hey, of course I remember! How could I forget?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively at her.
The sound of gritting teeth, both from Kid and Harle, filled the air.
"Not that day!" Leena exclaimed, blushing. "I meant the one when we were eight! When we made that promise!"
A puzzled frown wrinkled Serge's brow.
"To never trade underwear again?"
"No! The other promise!"
Serge pondered this for a time. Then…
"Oh! That promise! Of course I remember that!"
"Ask him what the promise was," Norris suggested from somewhere in the crowd.
Leena wheeled furiously in his direction.
"You be quiet! Okay! Second question, Serge. What do you think we'll make of this day years from now?"
Serge put a hand to his chin and looked thoughtful.
"What are my options?" he finally asked slowly.
Leena studied her cue card.
"You can say: "We'll always remember this day", or you can say, "We'll forget it eventually"."
Serge laughed.
"Well, this day's been too damn weird to forget, so I'd have to go with "We'll always remember this day"."
Leena giggled.
"Yeah, it has been a little weird. Okay! My third question!"
Serge blinked.
"Didn't you only have two?"
"Well, I did, but we stuck in a third one. You know, the fairytale three and all."
"Oh. Okay, go ahead."
"Okay; if you were a household appliance, which one would you be?"
"What?!" Serge exclaimed in disbelief. In this, he was not alone.
Leena pouted.
"Well, I kind of made it up on the way here. And it was either that, or "boxers or briefs", and quite frankly, I already know that."
"Leena!" a bright red Serge exclaimed. "Fine. If I were a household appliance, I'd be a…a…a spatula."
"Fair enough," Leena shrugged. "And why?"
Now it was Serge's turn to shrug.
"I don't know; it's just always seemed like spatulas have more fun."
"Okay," Leena giggled. "I guess that'll do."
Serge grinned.
"Cool! Do I win something?"
"Yeah," Kid broke in. "That."
Serge glanced in the direction that the blonde was pointing, and froze in horror at the sight of a gigantic wave, apparently arising from nowhere, to engulf him. At this moment, there was only one thing to say. Only one thing to think.
"Oh, crap…"