The sun crested over the peaks of Gagazet, and shone brilliantly down on
the snow. Every crystal seemed to glitter as the light hit it. Though
the wind still blew, and shifted loose powder snow around, the group was
warm, and sheltered in the cave they camped overnight in.
It was still relatively early. Yuna lay sprawled in her bedroll, snorting as she breathed, and beside her, Tidus was passed out as well. The rest of the group was in their respective places, each in their own pose.
Only Auron was awake, perched against a rock. The great blade of his masamune lay in his lap, and with a whetstone, he honed the blade. The fur lining of the coat Ren had lent him had kept him toasty warm; he was glad for it. Every now and again, he could see an errant breeze ruffling the bits of fur that peeped out from the cuffs and collar of the coat.
It had been a lovely sunrise. Well...it was a lovely sunrise, to be more apt. It wasn't quite over with. The sun was filtering down through the thick clouds that surrounded Gagazet, and the small, frequent patches of light was lighting up the mountain and the snow covering it. Auron watched the rays of sun creep over one particular peak, and had to catch his breath as the stone shimmered purple, then gray-green, then the dark gray-blue, which was the usual colouring.
It wasn't over yet, and Auron lay the masamune aside. His hand snaked out, and onto the shoulder of the lovely, young woman laid curled beneath the pile of furs beside him. He leaned over, and buried his face in the place where her neck met her shoulder, and took a deep breath of her hair. Auron's eyes closed, and he felt himself slip away to heaven.
Lulu had been on two pilgrimages previous, but she'd never made it up here, to this point. Auron had been here once before, and he remembered that before, he had once again been in awe of the majesty and beauty of the great mountain at sunrise. She couldn't miss this. Just couldn't. This was a rare moment, a moment of simple pleasure.
"Lulu." Auron whispered.
There came a small grunt from the sleeping figure.
"Lulu. Wake up." His lips settled on her jaw. "Come on. You want to see this."
"What? What is it?" Lulu cracked open her eyes, and mumbled sleepily.
"Come on, sweetheart."
Auron's arms went around her, and the one main fur that she was laying beneath. Though it was an awkward package at first, he hefted her into his lap, with the fur still wrapped around her. Once she was in his arm and on top of his thighs, he found her much easier to settle, and he curled her up in his arms.
For a moment, he was almost distracted from the beauty of the sunrise, by the beauty of Lulu. She looked innocent, and delicate, the way her hair cascaded over half-slit eyes, and tumbled over her shoulders. She lay her head against his chest, and curled her hands around his forearms, and looked out to where he was gesturing.
Lulu looked up to the peaks of the mountain, and saw immediately what Auron wanted her to see. The spectrum of colours was amazing, and attested that the mountains themselves were not just pure stone. It must have been shot through with crystal and quartz, the way the sunlight refracted, and made the stone seem to shimmer. She watched the rainbow of colours play and mix with the sparkling, intense purity of the snow, and tumble down to follow where the sun would lead it.
"Beautiful." She breathed.
Auron rested his head against her, and his lips settled somewhere between her cheek and ear.
"I saw it before. Last time." He spoke softly, so as to not ruin the moment by waking the others. "I thought perhaps my eyes were deceiving me, or that Jecht had put something in my sake jug to make me hallucinate. But Braska explained that Gagazet is just as much crystal as stone, and that the sunrise and sunset did this every time."
Lulu was silent, watching the sunrise, simply enjoying being in his arms.
Auron drew breath, and spoke, after a great while.
"I am sorry that I made you cry last night. It is the furthest thing from my heart, that you should be in any kind of pain. That I caused you pain.that kills me."
"I know you didn't mean to hurt me."
Lulu felt her throat constricting painfully. She had to stop and swallow a few times to choke the lump down. When at last it was gone, she started again, with tears in her eyes.
"I know you are trying to do what is right. I know that there are a great many things wrong with Spira, and that some semblance of a balance must be reached."
"Were I not Unsent..I would marry you." Auron said, softly. "I would marry you, and keep you pregnant year after year. We'd have a house in Besaid, and I'd teach the local kids how to use a sword, and you could teach others how to use their magical gifts. We'd raise a brood of children, and everything would be fine."
Lulu had to choke back a cry. How unfair of him to describe the life that would never be! She knew that he was saying these things more for his benefit than for hers, but she felt as if he were torturing her.
"But she fixed all that. I fixed it, actually. Me and my stupid youth. My anger." Auron sighed. "Even if I did stay behind, I couldn't give you any children, which is something that I'd want more than anything."
Lulu swallowed.
Auron felt his cheeks tinge with a faint shade of red. He felt like a fool. Probably, if he'd had any macho friends around, he'd be afraid of them overhearing. But as it was, he was only mildly embarrassed by that admission. His male pride was only moderately wounded.
"So.we know that our time together is short. I know not what Yuna will choose to do in Zanarkand. But I do not want our last few days together to be filled with sadness, or anger, or angst." Auron whispered against her temple.
"I want to spend every moment I have with you, committing every detail of you to my memory. I do not know what the Farplane will be like, but I'd wager that the only thing I'll be able to take with me will be my memories."
"Oh...!" Lulu felt a small cry escape her throat.
Her arms snaked up to wrap around his torso, and she squeezed him tight to her. Auron responded by squeezing her back. The desperate embrace between the two of them threatened to leave them both dizzy from breath, but they clung to each other regardless.
"This is what I want, too!" Lulu gasped. "I want a thousand more 'one last kisses'. You're absolutely right. This could be so horrible, but we will not make it so!"
Auron bowed his head, and lay his lips possessively on hers. The two grappled at each other for the moment, lost in the kiss, trying almost to internalize the essence of one another.
Their lips parted, and Auron's hand came up to stroke the silky, black hair. He cupped her to him, and rocked gently back and forth.
The two only barely noticed the rest of the party stirring, and beginning to wake. They were closed out as much as possible to preserve the moment.
Unbeknownst to the couple, Wakka lay in his bedroll, back still turned towards them, listening the entire time.
He had woken instantly, when Auron had reached over and picked Lulu up. Old habits die hard, and Wakka still subconsciously guarded Lulu. He had heard the slight sounds of the furs and woman being gathered up, and his eyes had snapped open immediately. It took him a second to realize what was happening, but as soon as he did, he lay still. Luckily, his back was towards them, so they did not see him, lying there awake.
He didn't know what to do, at first. Wakka didn't know if he should make known to Auron and Lulu that he was awake, or just pretend to be asleep. He wouldn't admit that he was curious, and wanted to know what they would say, but he also didn't want to embarrass them, or intrude on the moment.
He listened to every word, and found himself choking up when Auron spoke on spending every spare moment together. He could barely force himself to continue lying there, and not show his shock at Auron being an Unsent.
An Unsent! Auron! For how long?! But he was planning on going away..
When they all defeated Sin, Auron must be planning on asking Yuna to send him.
And suddenly, it was all so clear to Wakka. Auron did love Lulu. He wasn't just using her.
For some reason, this made Wakka feel so much better. So much calmer.
And so it was, that after the group had gotten up and around, and Lulu and Auron had disentangled themselves from one another, Wakka sought Auron out.
"Gotta speak to you."
Wakka sort of scowled down at his shoes, tucking his shoulders up and sinking a little lower into the down lining of his coat.
Auron looked down at Wakka through the dark sunglasses, bemused. A Hm! came from his lips. What did Wakka want? Was this another confrontation?
The two separated from the party, and went to stand outside the cave, a short distance away. Yuna, and Rikku paused from where they were shaking out bedrolls, and watched the two men in surprise. The rest of the group followed their gaze and sighted the two men, walking, and speaking.
"Wait a minute." Tidus began rubbing the back of his head. "Are they..?"
"They are." Lulu interrupted. "I don't understand it myself."
Away from the group, Wakka stuffed his hands in his pockets. He continued to look down at the ground, but he spoke.
"Bet they're all watchin'."
Auron cast a glance over his shoulder, and saw that indeed, the entire group was focused on them. Lulu stood with a confused look on her face. Auron raised a hand in a small gesture to her. She shrugged, and turned away. He saw her mouth move, saying something to the assembly.
"They are." He said.
"Figures." Wakka said. "Everything's been.kind of tense."
"I'd say that's an understatement."
"Yah, well.I wanted to say sorry!" Wakka stopped and turned. "That girl.she was all I had. When we were growing up, it was the three of us. Chappu, and us, I mean. And it was like, some big deal over who was going to end up with Lu, 'cause we both liked her. But she liked Chappu better."
Wakka's hand came up, and his fingers ran through the red spike of his hair.
"I guess I shoulda seen that comin'. I mean, Chappu was really smart. He was way up on her level. They had a lot of conversations, and I don't know how to talk to Lu for a long time like that, 'cause we don't like a lot of the same things, you know? But anyway, they were gonna get married and all, when Chappu got back from fightin' Sin."
Auron was silent, listening. A response hadn't been needed yet.
"Lookin' back on it now, I think that maybe Chappu knew he wasn't comin' back. It was a suicide mission, and I think he knew it. But he thought it would work, and he thought that every man pitching and helping as much as possible would turn the tide in the fight. 'Fore he left, he came to me, and told me then that he was gonna use a machina weapon. Then he said that he wanted me to look after Lulu. 'You always loved her.' He said. 'You don't gotta pretend. I know you do, and it's okay, 'cause I don't got a good feeling about this fight, and I want you to take care of her.'"
"Chappu couldn't just not go?" Auron asked, a bit surprised. "He knew he was most likely going to die, and he didn't decide not to go?"
"He meant the not-good feeling as in he was gonna die, not as in the battle was going to be for nothin'. He thought it would work. I think he thought he was going to have to die to do it, you know?"
"I see." Auron's fingers slid his sunglasses up his nose a bit. "Self-sacrifice for the one he loved."
"Chappu was noble, you know?" Wakka's face screwed for a second, then he forced himself to relax. "So, you know.when he didn't come back, I took care of her the best I could. I know I'm not as smart as some people. I'm not as savvy. I did the best I know how. I always thought that one day she'd see that, and realize that I loved her, and we'd be together eventually. But it didn't work out that way."
"Wakka.." Auron began to speak.
"No, Auron, I gotta finish. I know you're Unsent. I heard you both talkin' this morning. And you know..it's like Chappu all over again. You're gonna go away, you know you're not gonna come back, and I'll be here to take care of her."
Surprise filled Auron. His only outward showing of it, though, was just a raised brow.
"You heard us talking?" The question was not just one question, but several others rolled into one.
"Yeah. I heard it all. I didn't want to say anything 'cause it woulda embarrassed Lu. 'Sides.I thought that maybe you two needed that moment."
"It's fairly well ruined now."
"Not really." Wakka turned red. "Anyhow.that was kinda..all I wanted to say."
The red-haired man trailed off, and he looked down at his feet once more.
"So, you want me to ask you to look after Lulu after Yuna sends me?"
"Not that. I was kinda just sayin' that I would, regardless."
"Hope springs eternal." Auron once more pushed his sunglasses up his nose.
Wakka flushed a crimson red. He didn't know how to respond to that.
"I won't quell your hope. I can't. It will always be there, just like your love for her, apparently." A pause. "I appreciate it. I know that you'll try to take care of her. But whether or not she'll let you..that's an entirely different matter."
"I know."
For a moment, the two men stood there in the snow, regarding each other.
"Are we united in opinion, then?" The question was posed by Auron.
"You know what Yuna said yesterday. Discord, and lack of harmony will get us all killed. I can personally attest for this."
"Zanarkand.." Wakka said.
"Yes. We have to well, and truly, be a team. No squabbling. I'll do my best, if you will as well."
"We both fightin' for the same thing."
Wakka's eyes raised to Auron's, and the dark-haired man looked back at him coolly, with respect on his face. Wakka extended his hand, and Auron grasped it.
"Yes, we are, my friend. Yes, we are."
A faint smile came and went on Wakka's face, the first in as many days. As if in response, the corner of Auron's mouth turned up, and the matter settled between the two, they turned, and trudged through the deep snow, back to the camp.
It was still relatively early. Yuna lay sprawled in her bedroll, snorting as she breathed, and beside her, Tidus was passed out as well. The rest of the group was in their respective places, each in their own pose.
Only Auron was awake, perched against a rock. The great blade of his masamune lay in his lap, and with a whetstone, he honed the blade. The fur lining of the coat Ren had lent him had kept him toasty warm; he was glad for it. Every now and again, he could see an errant breeze ruffling the bits of fur that peeped out from the cuffs and collar of the coat.
It had been a lovely sunrise. Well...it was a lovely sunrise, to be more apt. It wasn't quite over with. The sun was filtering down through the thick clouds that surrounded Gagazet, and the small, frequent patches of light was lighting up the mountain and the snow covering it. Auron watched the rays of sun creep over one particular peak, and had to catch his breath as the stone shimmered purple, then gray-green, then the dark gray-blue, which was the usual colouring.
It wasn't over yet, and Auron lay the masamune aside. His hand snaked out, and onto the shoulder of the lovely, young woman laid curled beneath the pile of furs beside him. He leaned over, and buried his face in the place where her neck met her shoulder, and took a deep breath of her hair. Auron's eyes closed, and he felt himself slip away to heaven.
Lulu had been on two pilgrimages previous, but she'd never made it up here, to this point. Auron had been here once before, and he remembered that before, he had once again been in awe of the majesty and beauty of the great mountain at sunrise. She couldn't miss this. Just couldn't. This was a rare moment, a moment of simple pleasure.
"Lulu." Auron whispered.
There came a small grunt from the sleeping figure.
"Lulu. Wake up." His lips settled on her jaw. "Come on. You want to see this."
"What? What is it?" Lulu cracked open her eyes, and mumbled sleepily.
"Come on, sweetheart."
Auron's arms went around her, and the one main fur that she was laying beneath. Though it was an awkward package at first, he hefted her into his lap, with the fur still wrapped around her. Once she was in his arm and on top of his thighs, he found her much easier to settle, and he curled her up in his arms.
For a moment, he was almost distracted from the beauty of the sunrise, by the beauty of Lulu. She looked innocent, and delicate, the way her hair cascaded over half-slit eyes, and tumbled over her shoulders. She lay her head against his chest, and curled her hands around his forearms, and looked out to where he was gesturing.
Lulu looked up to the peaks of the mountain, and saw immediately what Auron wanted her to see. The spectrum of colours was amazing, and attested that the mountains themselves were not just pure stone. It must have been shot through with crystal and quartz, the way the sunlight refracted, and made the stone seem to shimmer. She watched the rainbow of colours play and mix with the sparkling, intense purity of the snow, and tumble down to follow where the sun would lead it.
"Beautiful." She breathed.
Auron rested his head against her, and his lips settled somewhere between her cheek and ear.
"I saw it before. Last time." He spoke softly, so as to not ruin the moment by waking the others. "I thought perhaps my eyes were deceiving me, or that Jecht had put something in my sake jug to make me hallucinate. But Braska explained that Gagazet is just as much crystal as stone, and that the sunrise and sunset did this every time."
Lulu was silent, watching the sunrise, simply enjoying being in his arms.
Auron drew breath, and spoke, after a great while.
"I am sorry that I made you cry last night. It is the furthest thing from my heart, that you should be in any kind of pain. That I caused you pain.that kills me."
"I know you didn't mean to hurt me."
Lulu felt her throat constricting painfully. She had to stop and swallow a few times to choke the lump down. When at last it was gone, she started again, with tears in her eyes.
"I know you are trying to do what is right. I know that there are a great many things wrong with Spira, and that some semblance of a balance must be reached."
"Were I not Unsent..I would marry you." Auron said, softly. "I would marry you, and keep you pregnant year after year. We'd have a house in Besaid, and I'd teach the local kids how to use a sword, and you could teach others how to use their magical gifts. We'd raise a brood of children, and everything would be fine."
Lulu had to choke back a cry. How unfair of him to describe the life that would never be! She knew that he was saying these things more for his benefit than for hers, but she felt as if he were torturing her.
"But she fixed all that. I fixed it, actually. Me and my stupid youth. My anger." Auron sighed. "Even if I did stay behind, I couldn't give you any children, which is something that I'd want more than anything."
Lulu swallowed.
Auron felt his cheeks tinge with a faint shade of red. He felt like a fool. Probably, if he'd had any macho friends around, he'd be afraid of them overhearing. But as it was, he was only mildly embarrassed by that admission. His male pride was only moderately wounded.
"So.we know that our time together is short. I know not what Yuna will choose to do in Zanarkand. But I do not want our last few days together to be filled with sadness, or anger, or angst." Auron whispered against her temple.
"I want to spend every moment I have with you, committing every detail of you to my memory. I do not know what the Farplane will be like, but I'd wager that the only thing I'll be able to take with me will be my memories."
"Oh...!" Lulu felt a small cry escape her throat.
Her arms snaked up to wrap around his torso, and she squeezed him tight to her. Auron responded by squeezing her back. The desperate embrace between the two of them threatened to leave them both dizzy from breath, but they clung to each other regardless.
"This is what I want, too!" Lulu gasped. "I want a thousand more 'one last kisses'. You're absolutely right. This could be so horrible, but we will not make it so!"
Auron bowed his head, and lay his lips possessively on hers. The two grappled at each other for the moment, lost in the kiss, trying almost to internalize the essence of one another.
Their lips parted, and Auron's hand came up to stroke the silky, black hair. He cupped her to him, and rocked gently back and forth.
The two only barely noticed the rest of the party stirring, and beginning to wake. They were closed out as much as possible to preserve the moment.
Unbeknownst to the couple, Wakka lay in his bedroll, back still turned towards them, listening the entire time.
He had woken instantly, when Auron had reached over and picked Lulu up. Old habits die hard, and Wakka still subconsciously guarded Lulu. He had heard the slight sounds of the furs and woman being gathered up, and his eyes had snapped open immediately. It took him a second to realize what was happening, but as soon as he did, he lay still. Luckily, his back was towards them, so they did not see him, lying there awake.
He didn't know what to do, at first. Wakka didn't know if he should make known to Auron and Lulu that he was awake, or just pretend to be asleep. He wouldn't admit that he was curious, and wanted to know what they would say, but he also didn't want to embarrass them, or intrude on the moment.
He listened to every word, and found himself choking up when Auron spoke on spending every spare moment together. He could barely force himself to continue lying there, and not show his shock at Auron being an Unsent.
An Unsent! Auron! For how long?! But he was planning on going away..
When they all defeated Sin, Auron must be planning on asking Yuna to send him.
And suddenly, it was all so clear to Wakka. Auron did love Lulu. He wasn't just using her.
For some reason, this made Wakka feel so much better. So much calmer.
And so it was, that after the group had gotten up and around, and Lulu and Auron had disentangled themselves from one another, Wakka sought Auron out.
"Gotta speak to you."
Wakka sort of scowled down at his shoes, tucking his shoulders up and sinking a little lower into the down lining of his coat.
Auron looked down at Wakka through the dark sunglasses, bemused. A Hm! came from his lips. What did Wakka want? Was this another confrontation?
The two separated from the party, and went to stand outside the cave, a short distance away. Yuna, and Rikku paused from where they were shaking out bedrolls, and watched the two men in surprise. The rest of the group followed their gaze and sighted the two men, walking, and speaking.
"Wait a minute." Tidus began rubbing the back of his head. "Are they..?"
"They are." Lulu interrupted. "I don't understand it myself."
Away from the group, Wakka stuffed his hands in his pockets. He continued to look down at the ground, but he spoke.
"Bet they're all watchin'."
Auron cast a glance over his shoulder, and saw that indeed, the entire group was focused on them. Lulu stood with a confused look on her face. Auron raised a hand in a small gesture to her. She shrugged, and turned away. He saw her mouth move, saying something to the assembly.
"They are." He said.
"Figures." Wakka said. "Everything's been.kind of tense."
"I'd say that's an understatement."
"Yah, well.I wanted to say sorry!" Wakka stopped and turned. "That girl.she was all I had. When we were growing up, it was the three of us. Chappu, and us, I mean. And it was like, some big deal over who was going to end up with Lu, 'cause we both liked her. But she liked Chappu better."
Wakka's hand came up, and his fingers ran through the red spike of his hair.
"I guess I shoulda seen that comin'. I mean, Chappu was really smart. He was way up on her level. They had a lot of conversations, and I don't know how to talk to Lu for a long time like that, 'cause we don't like a lot of the same things, you know? But anyway, they were gonna get married and all, when Chappu got back from fightin' Sin."
Auron was silent, listening. A response hadn't been needed yet.
"Lookin' back on it now, I think that maybe Chappu knew he wasn't comin' back. It was a suicide mission, and I think he knew it. But he thought it would work, and he thought that every man pitching and helping as much as possible would turn the tide in the fight. 'Fore he left, he came to me, and told me then that he was gonna use a machina weapon. Then he said that he wanted me to look after Lulu. 'You always loved her.' He said. 'You don't gotta pretend. I know you do, and it's okay, 'cause I don't got a good feeling about this fight, and I want you to take care of her.'"
"Chappu couldn't just not go?" Auron asked, a bit surprised. "He knew he was most likely going to die, and he didn't decide not to go?"
"He meant the not-good feeling as in he was gonna die, not as in the battle was going to be for nothin'. He thought it would work. I think he thought he was going to have to die to do it, you know?"
"I see." Auron's fingers slid his sunglasses up his nose a bit. "Self-sacrifice for the one he loved."
"Chappu was noble, you know?" Wakka's face screwed for a second, then he forced himself to relax. "So, you know.when he didn't come back, I took care of her the best I could. I know I'm not as smart as some people. I'm not as savvy. I did the best I know how. I always thought that one day she'd see that, and realize that I loved her, and we'd be together eventually. But it didn't work out that way."
"Wakka.." Auron began to speak.
"No, Auron, I gotta finish. I know you're Unsent. I heard you both talkin' this morning. And you know..it's like Chappu all over again. You're gonna go away, you know you're not gonna come back, and I'll be here to take care of her."
Surprise filled Auron. His only outward showing of it, though, was just a raised brow.
"You heard us talking?" The question was not just one question, but several others rolled into one.
"Yeah. I heard it all. I didn't want to say anything 'cause it woulda embarrassed Lu. 'Sides.I thought that maybe you two needed that moment."
"It's fairly well ruined now."
"Not really." Wakka turned red. "Anyhow.that was kinda..all I wanted to say."
The red-haired man trailed off, and he looked down at his feet once more.
"So, you want me to ask you to look after Lulu after Yuna sends me?"
"Not that. I was kinda just sayin' that I would, regardless."
"Hope springs eternal." Auron once more pushed his sunglasses up his nose.
Wakka flushed a crimson red. He didn't know how to respond to that.
"I won't quell your hope. I can't. It will always be there, just like your love for her, apparently." A pause. "I appreciate it. I know that you'll try to take care of her. But whether or not she'll let you..that's an entirely different matter."
"I know."
For a moment, the two men stood there in the snow, regarding each other.
"Are we united in opinion, then?" The question was posed by Auron.
"You know what Yuna said yesterday. Discord, and lack of harmony will get us all killed. I can personally attest for this."
"Zanarkand.." Wakka said.
"Yes. We have to well, and truly, be a team. No squabbling. I'll do my best, if you will as well."
"We both fightin' for the same thing."
Wakka's eyes raised to Auron's, and the dark-haired man looked back at him coolly, with respect on his face. Wakka extended his hand, and Auron grasped it.
"Yes, we are, my friend. Yes, we are."
A faint smile came and went on Wakka's face, the first in as many days. As if in response, the corner of Auron's mouth turned up, and the matter settled between the two, they turned, and trudged through the deep snow, back to the camp.