Theresa rested her head upon Fox's shoulder as they sat together on his bed in silence. Theresa questioned whether or not she should tell Fox about the baby, afterall he was the father. She knew he had the right to know, but Theresa couldn't bring herself to tell him. She thought she had no right to tie him down because she was having his baby. He loved Whitney, not her. What good would be done by telling him that she was carrying his child? It would only keep him away from his true love and Theresa couldn't bare that thought. She had been kept from Ethan all those years and it had hurt her terribly. She knew she couldn't put Fox through the same thing so she sat silently staring at the white buttons on his shirt.
Fox sat there silently too wondering what was wrong with Theresa. She wasn't the same Theresa she had been before last night. She was so full of life and very determined, now she just laid there almost hopelessly. He felt guilty that maybe his news had been to much for her fragile little body. He knew that he should have lied to her last night, but he couldn't stand lying to her anymore. Whenever he lied to her, a piece of his heart as missing for some reason. He thought that maybe it was because he loved her, but he shook that thought out of his head. He loved Whitney, not Theresa. Theresa was only his good friend, that's all they'd ever be. Besides...she was still obsessed over Ethan.
"Theresa," he said slowly turning her face towards his, "what happened last night? It's almost like you're a different person," he said with a look of worry in his brown eyes. Theresa knew he was worried, but had he any right to be? Theresa wasn't his girlfriend, she was only a friend, not a lover. Theresa screamed inside wanting to tell him the truth, but her conscience took over her.
Don't tell him, you'll only ruin his life
"Nothing," a little, shaky voice replied. "Nothing is wrong. I guess I've just been dealing with so much stress lately, that's all," she lied looking straight into his eyes. Fox couldn't help but feel that she was lying to him.
"Why are you lying to me? I thought best friends could trust each other."
Pissed off by his last remark, Theresa stood up and grabbed her coat and purse, "You want to talk about trust? Call me when you grow up and learn to trust me, then maybe I'll learn to trust you again." Theresa ran down the stairs bumping into Amanda on her way down. "Sorry," she said running out of the mansion.
Amanda stared at the scene that had just taken place. She shook her head in disappointment at Fox who was standing outside of his room. "Fox, I love you, but you are stupid. You're one of the most ignorant people I've ever had the chance of meeting." Fox laughed and tried to understand where she was coming from. "You don't really love Whitney, you love Theresa," she said as she took a bite out of an apple. "Don't be a fool, Fox. Don't lose the love of your life like I did."
Fox stood outside of his room thinking hard about what Amanda had said. Was she right? Could she see something that he couldn't? Too many thoughts ran through his head at that moment. He needed time to think clearly so he grabbed his coat and went for a little walk. Maybe things would become more clear.
************************************************************
Today I did the unthinkable...I came home. I know I said that I wasn't going to come home just now because of the holidays and all, but I had no choice. I didn't have anywhere else to go. But believe it or not I needed to be home. The moment I crossed the threshold I could feel that same old feeling-the feeling of a loveless home. From as far back as I can remember love never exsisted here. I guess that's why I grew up never knowing what love was. Danny changed that though. I didn't expect him to be my soulmate. I just got along with him really well because I didn't expect anything but his friendship. Falling in love with him just happened out of the blue.
Throughout this life of mine people have always been quick to say that love is all you need; that's not true. They're wrong because you need more than love. What you need is friendship, faith, hope, someone to understand you, and love. All are essential in life, though you may not really know it until it has become too late. In my short life, I have experienced all of these, but expectedly they have been taken away from me. Ripped from me as though they each were a limb of my body. Each time I lose one the pain grows more unbarable and the scar becomes more visible. People begin to see the pain behind your eyes...they become more aware of the real you I suppose. Afterall they say a picture is worth a thousand words so why not a scar? I guess that's the pain you have to deal with after putting your heart out on the line. I'll never do that again though. Love doesn't exsist in this cold heart of mine anymore.
Mother and father still don't know about the baby. As I was about to tell them the truth, Fox made up an excuse to cover it up. He's so sweet to do so, but sooner or later the truth will come out. I can't hide my pregnancy for the remainder of my pregnancy. It seems as though I will try my hand at playing matchmaker once more. This time using Fox and Theresa. Fox claims that he's in love with Whitney, but I don't buy it. I know that deep down he loves her. Right now he's blinded by an obsession as is Theresa. She's still obsessing over Ethan after all these years. Really, I must help her forget about Ethan. He's not good enough for her. I think she's starting to realize that though. Today I watched Theresa run out of the mansion in tears. Fox says he doesn't know why, but I think I may know why. Theresa is hiding something from Fox. Something BIG. And I think that what she's hiding may hold the key to her future with Fox. I'm going to find out what she's hiding and hopefully use it to their advantage. They seem like they belong together. It amazes me that no one else thinks so.
I started a little bit of trouble here tonight. I know it's my first night back, but I had to. I met Ethan's wife, Gwen. I can't tell you how disappointed I was in her. I thought Ethan was smarter than that. He gave up a beautiful woman like Theresa to be with a bitch like Gwen. Everyone thinks she's so perfect, once I reveal all I know about her, she won't be so perfect. I swear the things she did to Theresa would make your toes curl. Revenge is sweet and it's about time Gwen had what's coming to her. All in due time though. I need to have everything exactly right. This is going to blow everyone out of the water.
Fox informed me that there's going to be a party here tomorrow for some cause or something. He suggested that I sing a song or two since he knows I love to sing. I'm not sure if I'll do it though. I'd have to go and meet with his friend, Chad, so we could set up the music and everything. I may go though because Chad is Whitney's boyfriend, so maybe I can get some inside info on her. Well I better be getting to bed if I want to be up early. Talk to you soon.
Amanda
Amanda closed her journal and turned off the desk light as she got up and snuggled into the warms covers. She rolled onto her side and stared out of her window as she drifted to sleep.
************************************************************
Fox sipped on his hot chocolate as he walked along the warf that cold, friged night. The words Amanda had said to him ealier still played out in his mind. Could it be true? Could he really care for Theresa in the same way that he thought he had cared Whitney? Was it possible that Fox had been chasing after something that he never really wanted? It seemed so unreal that he could care more for Theresa than just as a friend. For so long he thought Whitney was the only person he ever loved, and now thoughts about Theresa changed that. In a way it scared and confused him. Fox sighed restlessly as he stared up at the dark night sky. The stars were shinning brightly out, they formed the only light around. As Fox stared up at the sky he wondered what Theresa was doing. Was she alone? Was she still crying? Did she care even a little bit? The coldness of the night was taking over Fox's body. His fingers and toes were becoming numb from the crisp wind that blew through the night. Fox decided to turn back and go home.
************************************************************
"No!" Amanda cried out as she tossed and turned in her sleep. "No! I killed him!" she continued to scream as she turned over in her bed.
Fox had just gotten home when he heard Amanda's screams. He raced up the stairs to her room and turned on her light. He sat beside her shaking her gently saying, "Shhh! It's only a bad dream." Amanda woke up crying in Fox's arms. She thought the nightmares had stopped, but she was wrong. This time the nightmare seemed more real to her. She was almost re-living that horrible night. "What happened?" He asked as he tried to calm her nerves.
"I killed him," she said slowly as the tears fell down her cheeks.
"Amanda, you didn't kill Danny. It was an accident. It wasn't your fault."
"You thinkt that only because you weren't there," she said coldly. "Well I was there! I saw it all go down!" She said loudly as she pointed the finger at herself. Calming down a little she began, "We were rushing because of me. I had forgotten some papers that we were suppose to give my doctor. I made him turn back home so we could get them. If we never turned back, Danny would still be alive. The accident would've never taken place," she told him as the tears kept falling. As here eyes and nose were red, and her cheeks were swollen from all her tears she went on to say, "We were having a fight. We always had our little fights. In the end we would always kiss and make up...this time though it was different. Danny was driving fast so we would make our appointment on time. It was icy out from all the snow that had fallen the past days. Danny slipped on some ice. The car fly out of control and the next thing we knew we had these bright headlights shinning in our eyes. They blinded us, causing us to crash head on with them. I woke up a few minutes later. I saw that we had hit a truck. I was still strapped into my seat, but Danny wasn't." Amanda paused for a minute because the tears choked her. As she told the story, she felt as though she was re-living it. "I looked around and I couldn't find him. I passed out again and the next time I woke up, I saw two police officers standing over his dead body! He died on the impact. Fox," she said turning to him, "I killed Danny." Fox didn't know what to say. Amanda had planted this thought into her head that she killed Danny when she didn't. Whatever he would say she wouldn't listen to. Fox sat there with her in his arms, that's all he could really do. And even though he didn't say a thing, just being there for her meant the world to her. "Fox," she said once she had stopped crying.
"Yeah," he said listening to her.
"Thank you."
Fox sat there silently too wondering what was wrong with Theresa. She wasn't the same Theresa she had been before last night. She was so full of life and very determined, now she just laid there almost hopelessly. He felt guilty that maybe his news had been to much for her fragile little body. He knew that he should have lied to her last night, but he couldn't stand lying to her anymore. Whenever he lied to her, a piece of his heart as missing for some reason. He thought that maybe it was because he loved her, but he shook that thought out of his head. He loved Whitney, not Theresa. Theresa was only his good friend, that's all they'd ever be. Besides...she was still obsessed over Ethan.
"Theresa," he said slowly turning her face towards his, "what happened last night? It's almost like you're a different person," he said with a look of worry in his brown eyes. Theresa knew he was worried, but had he any right to be? Theresa wasn't his girlfriend, she was only a friend, not a lover. Theresa screamed inside wanting to tell him the truth, but her conscience took over her.
Don't tell him, you'll only ruin his life
"Nothing," a little, shaky voice replied. "Nothing is wrong. I guess I've just been dealing with so much stress lately, that's all," she lied looking straight into his eyes. Fox couldn't help but feel that she was lying to him.
"Why are you lying to me? I thought best friends could trust each other."
Pissed off by his last remark, Theresa stood up and grabbed her coat and purse, "You want to talk about trust? Call me when you grow up and learn to trust me, then maybe I'll learn to trust you again." Theresa ran down the stairs bumping into Amanda on her way down. "Sorry," she said running out of the mansion.
Amanda stared at the scene that had just taken place. She shook her head in disappointment at Fox who was standing outside of his room. "Fox, I love you, but you are stupid. You're one of the most ignorant people I've ever had the chance of meeting." Fox laughed and tried to understand where she was coming from. "You don't really love Whitney, you love Theresa," she said as she took a bite out of an apple. "Don't be a fool, Fox. Don't lose the love of your life like I did."
Fox stood outside of his room thinking hard about what Amanda had said. Was she right? Could she see something that he couldn't? Too many thoughts ran through his head at that moment. He needed time to think clearly so he grabbed his coat and went for a little walk. Maybe things would become more clear.
************************************************************
Today I did the unthinkable...I came home. I know I said that I wasn't going to come home just now because of the holidays and all, but I had no choice. I didn't have anywhere else to go. But believe it or not I needed to be home. The moment I crossed the threshold I could feel that same old feeling-the feeling of a loveless home. From as far back as I can remember love never exsisted here. I guess that's why I grew up never knowing what love was. Danny changed that though. I didn't expect him to be my soulmate. I just got along with him really well because I didn't expect anything but his friendship. Falling in love with him just happened out of the blue.
Throughout this life of mine people have always been quick to say that love is all you need; that's not true. They're wrong because you need more than love. What you need is friendship, faith, hope, someone to understand you, and love. All are essential in life, though you may not really know it until it has become too late. In my short life, I have experienced all of these, but expectedly they have been taken away from me. Ripped from me as though they each were a limb of my body. Each time I lose one the pain grows more unbarable and the scar becomes more visible. People begin to see the pain behind your eyes...they become more aware of the real you I suppose. Afterall they say a picture is worth a thousand words so why not a scar? I guess that's the pain you have to deal with after putting your heart out on the line. I'll never do that again though. Love doesn't exsist in this cold heart of mine anymore.
Mother and father still don't know about the baby. As I was about to tell them the truth, Fox made up an excuse to cover it up. He's so sweet to do so, but sooner or later the truth will come out. I can't hide my pregnancy for the remainder of my pregnancy. It seems as though I will try my hand at playing matchmaker once more. This time using Fox and Theresa. Fox claims that he's in love with Whitney, but I don't buy it. I know that deep down he loves her. Right now he's blinded by an obsession as is Theresa. She's still obsessing over Ethan after all these years. Really, I must help her forget about Ethan. He's not good enough for her. I think she's starting to realize that though. Today I watched Theresa run out of the mansion in tears. Fox says he doesn't know why, but I think I may know why. Theresa is hiding something from Fox. Something BIG. And I think that what she's hiding may hold the key to her future with Fox. I'm going to find out what she's hiding and hopefully use it to their advantage. They seem like they belong together. It amazes me that no one else thinks so.
I started a little bit of trouble here tonight. I know it's my first night back, but I had to. I met Ethan's wife, Gwen. I can't tell you how disappointed I was in her. I thought Ethan was smarter than that. He gave up a beautiful woman like Theresa to be with a bitch like Gwen. Everyone thinks she's so perfect, once I reveal all I know about her, she won't be so perfect. I swear the things she did to Theresa would make your toes curl. Revenge is sweet and it's about time Gwen had what's coming to her. All in due time though. I need to have everything exactly right. This is going to blow everyone out of the water.
Fox informed me that there's going to be a party here tomorrow for some cause or something. He suggested that I sing a song or two since he knows I love to sing. I'm not sure if I'll do it though. I'd have to go and meet with his friend, Chad, so we could set up the music and everything. I may go though because Chad is Whitney's boyfriend, so maybe I can get some inside info on her. Well I better be getting to bed if I want to be up early. Talk to you soon.
Amanda
Amanda closed her journal and turned off the desk light as she got up and snuggled into the warms covers. She rolled onto her side and stared out of her window as she drifted to sleep.
************************************************************
Fox sipped on his hot chocolate as he walked along the warf that cold, friged night. The words Amanda had said to him ealier still played out in his mind. Could it be true? Could he really care for Theresa in the same way that he thought he had cared Whitney? Was it possible that Fox had been chasing after something that he never really wanted? It seemed so unreal that he could care more for Theresa than just as a friend. For so long he thought Whitney was the only person he ever loved, and now thoughts about Theresa changed that. In a way it scared and confused him. Fox sighed restlessly as he stared up at the dark night sky. The stars were shinning brightly out, they formed the only light around. As Fox stared up at the sky he wondered what Theresa was doing. Was she alone? Was she still crying? Did she care even a little bit? The coldness of the night was taking over Fox's body. His fingers and toes were becoming numb from the crisp wind that blew through the night. Fox decided to turn back and go home.
************************************************************
"No!" Amanda cried out as she tossed and turned in her sleep. "No! I killed him!" she continued to scream as she turned over in her bed.
Fox had just gotten home when he heard Amanda's screams. He raced up the stairs to her room and turned on her light. He sat beside her shaking her gently saying, "Shhh! It's only a bad dream." Amanda woke up crying in Fox's arms. She thought the nightmares had stopped, but she was wrong. This time the nightmare seemed more real to her. She was almost re-living that horrible night. "What happened?" He asked as he tried to calm her nerves.
"I killed him," she said slowly as the tears fell down her cheeks.
"Amanda, you didn't kill Danny. It was an accident. It wasn't your fault."
"You thinkt that only because you weren't there," she said coldly. "Well I was there! I saw it all go down!" She said loudly as she pointed the finger at herself. Calming down a little she began, "We were rushing because of me. I had forgotten some papers that we were suppose to give my doctor. I made him turn back home so we could get them. If we never turned back, Danny would still be alive. The accident would've never taken place," she told him as the tears kept falling. As here eyes and nose were red, and her cheeks were swollen from all her tears she went on to say, "We were having a fight. We always had our little fights. In the end we would always kiss and make up...this time though it was different. Danny was driving fast so we would make our appointment on time. It was icy out from all the snow that had fallen the past days. Danny slipped on some ice. The car fly out of control and the next thing we knew we had these bright headlights shinning in our eyes. They blinded us, causing us to crash head on with them. I woke up a few minutes later. I saw that we had hit a truck. I was still strapped into my seat, but Danny wasn't." Amanda paused for a minute because the tears choked her. As she told the story, she felt as though she was re-living it. "I looked around and I couldn't find him. I passed out again and the next time I woke up, I saw two police officers standing over his dead body! He died on the impact. Fox," she said turning to him, "I killed Danny." Fox didn't know what to say. Amanda had planted this thought into her head that she killed Danny when she didn't. Whatever he would say she wouldn't listen to. Fox sat there with her in his arms, that's all he could really do. And even though he didn't say a thing, just being there for her meant the world to her. "Fox," she said once she had stopped crying.
"Yeah," he said listening to her.
"Thank you."