THANKS BE TO MY REVIEWERS
Beekay84: You know, not that you mention it, the whole "Scully" and "Dana" thing does remind me of Gollum. But, totally coincidential. And, I have no clue when the sims first came out, but that is kind of strange isn't it! Anyway, I added the Sheriff in here, in honor of you, since you asked!
Kersha: Yea! I'm glad I made you laugh so hard! Yeah, I know, really out-of-character, but so much fun! hope you like this chapter!
Samantha: That's what I thought, too! Can't wait for 'The Sims 2' to come out, it does look so much different! Thank you for the review!
JUST ANOTHER DAY AT THE OFFICE 5
Dana and Scully left the office at 6 o'clock that day. But, they didn't REALLY leave. No, they hid in the janitors closet until Mulder left. They ended up waiting for over 2 hours! Who knew Mulder's life was that pathetic that he didn't leave work until after 8:00!
'Uh, actually, I did.' Dana said.
'Really? Why didn't you tell me?'
Dana thought a moment, why hadn't she told Scully? Then she remembered, 'I thought you knew.'
'Oh. Well, I didn't.'
'But, now you do!'
'You're right!'
After picking the lock to the office the two stealthily crept up to Mulder's computer. Why they had to pick the lock went unknown to Scully, but, Dana said that it was crucial to their plan, so she went along with it. Scully waved at Stapey who strange enough didn't wave back. Scully was hurt.
'Stapey must be mad at me!' She told Dana.
'It's a damn stapler!' Dana screamed at her, 'it's an inanimate object, for cryin' out loud! It has no feelings, it can't wave, you are a fucking nut case!'
Scully sniffled, 'Stapey is too real!'
'It's a damn stapler!'
'She is not!'
Dana screamed in frustration. 'Just get the damn hammer will you?'
'Alright.' She went to her desk, 'Hammey? Hammey, where are you?' She was starting to get worried. Had her beloved Hammey left her? If so, with whom?
'Oh God no, not again.' Dana whined, shaking her head.
Then Scully discovered Hammey lying under a few papers on her desk 'There you are, Hammey! I thought you left me for that bitch Stapey!'
'They're not real!' Dana fumed. 'Get a fucking psychiatrist, why don't ya!'
Scully sniffled, but then grabbed Hammey and walked back to Mulder's computer. 'I hope this doesn't hurt Hammey.' She said before taking Hammey and smashing him against Mulder's computer.
'Die, bitch, die!' Dana laughed, 'Mwahahahaha!'
Scully snickered mischievously as the hammer connected with the screen and the glass broke. The resounding shattering was liberating! Scully (or Dana for that matter) had never felt so alive, this was fun! She made a mental note to kill computers more often. Dana let out another evil laugh as the hammer came down on the computer once again.
And that was the end of Mulder's computer.
Mulder yawned as he rode down the elevator the next morning. It smelt much better that day. He was very happy. When the elevator reached the drab basement office the resounding 'ding' filled the air, and the doors open. 'How nifty!', Mulder thought as he walked past the steel.
He whistled some unnamed tune as he walked towards the office door, then yawned some more. He was very tired, he'd spent the whole night pondering the perfect revenge on the vile bitch Bill Scully. Damn him for screwing up his game! He would surely pay.
Mulder twisted the knob on the door and opened it with ease. 'Wow! That was easy! I must be super strong!' He flexed his muscles, 'I am a sexy beast!'
He looked up from his ripped muscles and noticed the disaster area before him. Somebody had destroyed his monitor! It lie in pieces all over his desk, and even on the floor. He walked around to survey the damage…and then he saw that his computer was torn to pieces as well! It looked as if somebody had thrown it on the floor, and then with all the strength they had jumped up and down on it! There was no hope.
It was Bill again! Hadn't he had his revenge when he stole Krycheck…er…Scully from him! That was wrong enough! But this, this was just, pure and unadulterated malevolence! Nobody could possibly be that cruel, nobody but the vile bitch Bill Scully! And, maybe CSM. But, what would CSM gain by destroying his computer? Nothing, not a damn thing. Then, what about the vampire! Sheriff Hartwell? He was capable of doing something so cruel, he was a vampire, right? But then again, wouldn't he have just killed Mulder, and sucked his blood? Then there was Bill, and, Bill wanted revenge! That was his motive! It had to have been Bill! It was the only plausible answer!
Mulder got down on the floor and curled into the fetal position, rocking back and forth, and the tears started. Not cold, silent tears. Hot, streaming tears. His shirt was soon drenched with the liquid.
Then Scully walked in. "Mulder?" She said running over to him, "Mulder, what's wrong?" She feigned innocence, she knew what was wrong. He discovered his computer. On the inside, Scully was laughing. But, on the outside, she was the concerned partner.
"It's…it's…my computer!" He bawled, "someone's destroyed it! The monitor, the computer, even the scanner! It's all…ruined!"
She pulled him into an embrace, and rocked back and forth with him, as to calm him down. "There, there, Mulder. Computers can be replaced."
'Damn it, Scully! NO! Don't tell him that! Then he'll replace you again! You damn fool, I can't believe you just said that!'
'Shut-up, you bitch. Can't you see Mulder's hurt? I'd rather be 2nd in Mulder's life and him not hurt, than him hurt and be 1st!'
'That's why you're so fucking crazy!'
'Look who's talking, bitch!'
'Who you callin' a bitch, bitch.'
'You, bitch!'
Dana drew in a breath, 'you…you…'
'Bitch?' Scully offered.
'AH!' Dana ran off, grabbed her service weapon, and shot herself.
And that was the end of Dana.
Scully walked down the stairs quickly. She wanted to be there for Mulder's surprise! She was quite proud of herself. It had taken her a while to find the perfect computer to steal. She finally opted for Fowley's. She'd taken it to the LG, had them erase the hard drive, and it was as brand new.
The scowled when she thought of taking it to the LG headquarters. Frohike had hit on her, as per norm, and she didn't have Mulder there to protect her, and Dana was gone. She'd been alone! That was not per norm! That was just cruel and unusual. Luckily, Byers was there to pull him off of her leg. Otherwise, she would have been forced to shoot him again.
She contemplated sending flowers. She was sure that bullet in the foot hurt like hell. But, it must not have hurt that bad, Frohike hadn't gotten off of her.
But, Byers saved the day. And Scully was happy.
So, she'd brought the laptop the night before, and placed it in plain sight. Mulder wouldn't be able to miss it.
She finally made her way to the basement (she had decided ne'er to go on the elevator again, not while Agent Hopkins and Kingsley were still an item, and to the best of her knowledge, the two were) and opened the door to find Mulder, sitting at his desk, a goofy smile plastered onto his face.
"Happy early birthday, or late birthday, which ever is closest." She said setting her things down.
"Thank you, Scully. This is great. Listen, I know you've been sad since Stapey and Hammey ran away with each other, and I'm sorry, really."
She smiled wearily, "I'm fine Mulder. I've gotten over it. They're happy together. I got a postcard the other day."
"Yeah…right…anyway. Thanks for the new laptop. It must've cost a fortune."
She smiled inwardly, if he only knew she'd gotten it on a five-finger discount. Oh well, Fowley wouldn't be needing it, or any of the other information the LG had found in the hard drive.
Not to mention the rather explicated photographs they'd found of her and Spender (jr. not senior). Those were being e-mailed to every Agent in the FBI as the day progressed. And, number one on the list of recipients was AD Skinner. Boy, would he choke on his coffee.
Scully chuckled thinking about it.
"What's so funny?"
She looked over her shoulder at him, "oh. Nothing. Just another day at the office."
FINI
a/n: and, that's a wrap. I know I ended it kind of suddenly, no warning or anything, but I thought this was a good stopping place. I'll try some more humor fics in the present, seeing as I got such good reviews for this one. Thank all of you for actually reading my story, and extra thanks for reviewing so nicely! Anyway, cuotfs!
catch u on the flip side (just this really dorky thing my sister does all the time)
Review, please! Tell me if you liked the ending!
Beekay84: You know, not that you mention it, the whole "Scully" and "Dana" thing does remind me of Gollum. But, totally coincidential. And, I have no clue when the sims first came out, but that is kind of strange isn't it! Anyway, I added the Sheriff in here, in honor of you, since you asked!
Kersha: Yea! I'm glad I made you laugh so hard! Yeah, I know, really out-of-character, but so much fun! hope you like this chapter!
Samantha: That's what I thought, too! Can't wait for 'The Sims 2' to come out, it does look so much different! Thank you for the review!
JUST ANOTHER DAY AT THE OFFICE 5
Dana and Scully left the office at 6 o'clock that day. But, they didn't REALLY leave. No, they hid in the janitors closet until Mulder left. They ended up waiting for over 2 hours! Who knew Mulder's life was that pathetic that he didn't leave work until after 8:00!
'Uh, actually, I did.' Dana said.
'Really? Why didn't you tell me?'
Dana thought a moment, why hadn't she told Scully? Then she remembered, 'I thought you knew.'
'Oh. Well, I didn't.'
'But, now you do!'
'You're right!'
After picking the lock to the office the two stealthily crept up to Mulder's computer. Why they had to pick the lock went unknown to Scully, but, Dana said that it was crucial to their plan, so she went along with it. Scully waved at Stapey who strange enough didn't wave back. Scully was hurt.
'Stapey must be mad at me!' She told Dana.
'It's a damn stapler!' Dana screamed at her, 'it's an inanimate object, for cryin' out loud! It has no feelings, it can't wave, you are a fucking nut case!'
Scully sniffled, 'Stapey is too real!'
'It's a damn stapler!'
'She is not!'
Dana screamed in frustration. 'Just get the damn hammer will you?'
'Alright.' She went to her desk, 'Hammey? Hammey, where are you?' She was starting to get worried. Had her beloved Hammey left her? If so, with whom?
'Oh God no, not again.' Dana whined, shaking her head.
Then Scully discovered Hammey lying under a few papers on her desk 'There you are, Hammey! I thought you left me for that bitch Stapey!'
'They're not real!' Dana fumed. 'Get a fucking psychiatrist, why don't ya!'
Scully sniffled, but then grabbed Hammey and walked back to Mulder's computer. 'I hope this doesn't hurt Hammey.' She said before taking Hammey and smashing him against Mulder's computer.
'Die, bitch, die!' Dana laughed, 'Mwahahahaha!'
Scully snickered mischievously as the hammer connected with the screen and the glass broke. The resounding shattering was liberating! Scully (or Dana for that matter) had never felt so alive, this was fun! She made a mental note to kill computers more often. Dana let out another evil laugh as the hammer came down on the computer once again.
And that was the end of Mulder's computer.
Mulder yawned as he rode down the elevator the next morning. It smelt much better that day. He was very happy. When the elevator reached the drab basement office the resounding 'ding' filled the air, and the doors open. 'How nifty!', Mulder thought as he walked past the steel.
He whistled some unnamed tune as he walked towards the office door, then yawned some more. He was very tired, he'd spent the whole night pondering the perfect revenge on the vile bitch Bill Scully. Damn him for screwing up his game! He would surely pay.
Mulder twisted the knob on the door and opened it with ease. 'Wow! That was easy! I must be super strong!' He flexed his muscles, 'I am a sexy beast!'
He looked up from his ripped muscles and noticed the disaster area before him. Somebody had destroyed his monitor! It lie in pieces all over his desk, and even on the floor. He walked around to survey the damage…and then he saw that his computer was torn to pieces as well! It looked as if somebody had thrown it on the floor, and then with all the strength they had jumped up and down on it! There was no hope.
It was Bill again! Hadn't he had his revenge when he stole Krycheck…er…Scully from him! That was wrong enough! But this, this was just, pure and unadulterated malevolence! Nobody could possibly be that cruel, nobody but the vile bitch Bill Scully! And, maybe CSM. But, what would CSM gain by destroying his computer? Nothing, not a damn thing. Then, what about the vampire! Sheriff Hartwell? He was capable of doing something so cruel, he was a vampire, right? But then again, wouldn't he have just killed Mulder, and sucked his blood? Then there was Bill, and, Bill wanted revenge! That was his motive! It had to have been Bill! It was the only plausible answer!
Mulder got down on the floor and curled into the fetal position, rocking back and forth, and the tears started. Not cold, silent tears. Hot, streaming tears. His shirt was soon drenched with the liquid.
Then Scully walked in. "Mulder?" She said running over to him, "Mulder, what's wrong?" She feigned innocence, she knew what was wrong. He discovered his computer. On the inside, Scully was laughing. But, on the outside, she was the concerned partner.
"It's…it's…my computer!" He bawled, "someone's destroyed it! The monitor, the computer, even the scanner! It's all…ruined!"
She pulled him into an embrace, and rocked back and forth with him, as to calm him down. "There, there, Mulder. Computers can be replaced."
'Damn it, Scully! NO! Don't tell him that! Then he'll replace you again! You damn fool, I can't believe you just said that!'
'Shut-up, you bitch. Can't you see Mulder's hurt? I'd rather be 2nd in Mulder's life and him not hurt, than him hurt and be 1st!'
'That's why you're so fucking crazy!'
'Look who's talking, bitch!'
'Who you callin' a bitch, bitch.'
'You, bitch!'
Dana drew in a breath, 'you…you…'
'Bitch?' Scully offered.
'AH!' Dana ran off, grabbed her service weapon, and shot herself.
And that was the end of Dana.
Scully walked down the stairs quickly. She wanted to be there for Mulder's surprise! She was quite proud of herself. It had taken her a while to find the perfect computer to steal. She finally opted for Fowley's. She'd taken it to the LG, had them erase the hard drive, and it was as brand new.
The scowled when she thought of taking it to the LG headquarters. Frohike had hit on her, as per norm, and she didn't have Mulder there to protect her, and Dana was gone. She'd been alone! That was not per norm! That was just cruel and unusual. Luckily, Byers was there to pull him off of her leg. Otherwise, she would have been forced to shoot him again.
She contemplated sending flowers. She was sure that bullet in the foot hurt like hell. But, it must not have hurt that bad, Frohike hadn't gotten off of her.
But, Byers saved the day. And Scully was happy.
So, she'd brought the laptop the night before, and placed it in plain sight. Mulder wouldn't be able to miss it.
She finally made her way to the basement (she had decided ne'er to go on the elevator again, not while Agent Hopkins and Kingsley were still an item, and to the best of her knowledge, the two were) and opened the door to find Mulder, sitting at his desk, a goofy smile plastered onto his face.
"Happy early birthday, or late birthday, which ever is closest." She said setting her things down.
"Thank you, Scully. This is great. Listen, I know you've been sad since Stapey and Hammey ran away with each other, and I'm sorry, really."
She smiled wearily, "I'm fine Mulder. I've gotten over it. They're happy together. I got a postcard the other day."
"Yeah…right…anyway. Thanks for the new laptop. It must've cost a fortune."
She smiled inwardly, if he only knew she'd gotten it on a five-finger discount. Oh well, Fowley wouldn't be needing it, or any of the other information the LG had found in the hard drive.
Not to mention the rather explicated photographs they'd found of her and Spender (jr. not senior). Those were being e-mailed to every Agent in the FBI as the day progressed. And, number one on the list of recipients was AD Skinner. Boy, would he choke on his coffee.
Scully chuckled thinking about it.
"What's so funny?"
She looked over her shoulder at him, "oh. Nothing. Just another day at the office."
FINI
a/n: and, that's a wrap. I know I ended it kind of suddenly, no warning or anything, but I thought this was a good stopping place. I'll try some more humor fics in the present, seeing as I got such good reviews for this one. Thank all of you for actually reading my story, and extra thanks for reviewing so nicely! Anyway, cuotfs!
catch u on the flip side (just this really dorky thing my sister does all the time)
Review, please! Tell me if you liked the ending!