CB15: Oh my God! I love your reviews! Sorry I didn't end up writing more, but, I'm dedicating this epilogue to you and your great reviews! I'm so glad you like my stories. 'Cos, your stories crack me up. Thanks a bunch! Cuotfs! :hugs inner dork:

Rach: Yeah, my Scully does need some help. So, Dr. Rach is in honor of you!

BeeKay84: This epilogue is also for you and your great reviews! Thanks!

Alani: Oh, gosh. Where did I come up with the idea? This'll be long! For the fic in itself, my inspiration was 'The Sims' game. I was just playing it one day and I thought "I've never seen a game written about 'The sims' so I'll write one!" and I've always wanted to write a humor fic, so I saw this as the perfect way! For Stapey, it started with a song by Mark Shultz, one line says 'And I ponder where my staplers gone to'. Stapey escaladed from there. I'm glad my story made you laugh out loud! I actually did whilst writing it!

Epilogue

Mulder hadn't been sitting at his desk for more than 2 minutes when the bitch of an Agent Fowley knocked on his door. He looked up and then immediately regretted it! She was the ugliest bitch he'd ever seen! She looked even more ugly (if it was possible) than the last time he'd seen her. It was uncanny.

He looked back down quickly, pretending as if he hadn't seen her, but she wasn't buyin' it. She came in the office anyway.

"Fox,"

"Would you stop calling me Fox, damn it! You fucking ugly bitch! Don't you know by now I hate that damn name almost as much as I hate you ugly ass face!"

Her face crumpled, "I…I…I just wanted to say goodbye! Skinner just fired me, he found the pictures of Spender and I! I knew that I shouldn't have had Krycheck take them!! That rat-bastard!" She ran off crying.

"Ha, ha," Mulder laughed, "bitch!" He was glad Scully had killed off the 'Sim' version of Diana. She was too ugly for the game.

A few minutes later Scully came down stairs, out of breath.

"What's wrong, Scully?"

"I just ran down 4 flights of stairs!"

"Why?"

"'Cause I'm never getting on that corrupted elevator again!"

"Why not?"

"Don't you know, Mulder? Agents Hopkins and Kingsley have been hooking up in it every night for the past two weeks! Don't you listen to the shameless bathroom conversations? You've got to if you want to know all the juicy gossip. Like, did you know, Spender and Diana have been having an affair for over 3 weeks, and, they've hired Krycheck to take their quote unquote photographs? That one, that one right there, I found out first. Rumors (even the real ones) spread around like wild fire." She rubbed her hands together, her blue eyes sparkled, "ain't it great?"

"Yeah, sure."

Scully looked down at her watch, "oh, shit."

"What?" Mulder asked, seeing that something was bothering her.

"What?" Scully said, she had been taking to herself. It was a common thing, now that Dana wasn't around for her to talk to.

"Huh?" Mulder was getting confused! What, what?

"Huh?" Scully was getting pissed! If he kept bothering her, she'd lose her train of thought!

"What?" Mulder had become annoyed.

"Never mind!!" She grabbed her coat and headed for the door.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"I forgot I've got an appointment."

"Oh."

And with that, Scully left the basement, and Mulder.

"…well, Dr. Rach, it all started when I was 3. Mom and Ahab had just brought Charlie home from the hospital, and Bill was, as usual, being a complete ass. He told me that now that there was another--"

The Doctor cut her off short, "how about we start with more recent events?"

Scully nodded, "whatever you say, doc.

"Well, it all started when I was 15--"

The Doctor cut her off again, "let's try last week, shall we?"

"Sure thing. It all started last week. We had just got back from the most idiot case we'd ever been on, I mean, come on, aliens don't drive minivans! They drive SUV's, for cryin' out loud! And, Mulder knew that! But, we had to go 'investigate' even though I tried to remind him!" She paused, remembering the past week, "alright. So, it was a slow day, so I decided to play 'The Sims'…"

7 hours later

"…and while I was trying to console Mulder over his loss--even if it was my fault, he didn't know-- Dana was yelling at me for telling him that computers were replicable, she told me that I'd be second in his life, and I told her I didn't care. She called me crazy! Can you believe that, here I am, somebody who's given her a place to stay, food to eat, clothes to wear, and she had the audacity to call me crazy! So I said 'look who's talking, bitch!' and she was like, 'who you callin' a bitch, bitch,' and I was like, 'you, bitch!' and she said, 'you…you' and I merely offered her something to finish her sentence with, I suggested that she say, 'bitch'. So then, she grabbed her gun and shot herself! She left me! Can you believe that!"

The Doctor blinked.

"And then, then Stapey and Hammey ran off with each other! Oh, can you believe Dana told me that they weren't real! That stupid bitch, if they weren't real, how could they run off together? Huh? Answer that one, Smarty pants!"

The Doctor blinked again. What a crazy bitch!

"Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for the two. They're really happy together. Got married and everything. And, the other day I got news that Stapeys going to have a little hampler! And, they're making me the god-mother."

"Ms. Scully--"

She held up a hand, "I'm not finished. Now, Hammey and Stapey aside. I was racked with guilt over what I did to Mulder's computer, I mean, it was under the influence of Dana. And, since Dana was gone, I was finally thinking clearly. So, I got a new laptop for him, on a five finger discount. You ever gotten a five finger discount, Doctor? They're wonderful. You pay nearly nothing. Anyway, I got him the new computer, and he was happy! He even apologized about Stapey and Hammey. It's all super!"

Dr. Rach store at Scully in wonder. This woman was a nut case, but, if the FBI thought she was well enough to be an Agent, why argue with them? "Ms. Scully. You ran over by 6 hours. That's going to be 14 dollars."

"What? That's outrageous! 14 dollars! You're crazy!" She grabbed her wallet, "I'll never be coming back here again!"

Then she left, Dr. Rach was happy, 14 dollars was a lot for one session!

Scully was relieved to see that Mulder was still working when she got back from her appointment with Dr. Rach. "Hey, Mulder."

"Hi, Scully. Agent O'Connel brought back your stapler and hammer. She said she was sorry that she didn't ask to borrow them, but you'd left for the day when she came down."

"Stapey and Hammey are back!!...I mean...uh...oh, it's no biggie, next time you see her tell her I said she can borrow them at any time. Just ask." She scratched the back of her head, and looked down at the floor, hoping he wouldn't realize the mistake she'd made. Stapey and Hammey hadn't left her after all! She was happy.

Mulder blinked in the same manor Dr. Rach had, "all right then." Yep, Scully was three fries short of a happy meal, that was for sure.

Scully desperately searched for a new topic, anything to get Mulder from looking at her like she was insane! "So...eh...you doing anything this weeked?"

"Not really, just the same 'ole same 'ole. What 'bout you? Any plans?"

"Nah, just another weekend away from the office."

a/n: so what do you guys think, spin off maybe? Think i've got it in me? Review and let me know, i'll do my best.