It had been almost a month now since Vincent passed away. It broke Shera's heart every day to see Cid walking down the stairs in the morning, lost and utterly devoid of hope. It was as if a great light had gone out of the house, out of Cid's heart.
He had changed so much... the way he used to flare up and shout, or laugh, or be passionate about anything was faded like an old photograph. He didn't even swear much any more, the only thing about him that remained constant was his chain-smoking.
It was like... like he lived life because he had no other choice in the matter, not because he wanted to. It was terrible, to see the once vibrant man, so full of life - worn down into this shell. A shadow of what he once was.
Shera was glad that he didn't cry as much now as he did at first, though on occasion she would take him in a cup of tea in the mornings to find him lying in bed with Vincent's old headband in his hand, staring at it with tears streaked down his face.
What agonies he suffered, day after day, waking up in that bed alone, she could not know.
But at some point, every single day, Cid took a small handful of flowers down to the beach and cast them into the sea, staring out at the lonely waves for a long time. At first Shera would come with him, but she eventually came less and less before stopping coming all together. It was a private thing, she realised, and Cid needed to be alone for that moment every day. Maybe he spoke to Vincent, if he could hear him.
The old team visited often, always bringing news about big developments and they never spoke now of Vincent, for whenever they had Cid's face would become distressed and he would draw into himself.
So no one talked of Vincent any more.
But sometimes, in the quiet evenings when Cid and Shera sat on the couch watching TV in the living room, Cid would see something, perhaps an old favourite program advertised, or a certain subject that Vincent was interested in, and he'd quietly say: "Vin used to love that."
Shera would look at him, not quite knowing what to say... and he would just sit there, his eyes fixed on the screen, silently nodding to himself, remembering.
He'd once tried to pack Vincent's things away. He'd tried.
He had gotten as far as putting most of them into open cardboard boxes, but he had left them right by the drawers from which he'd got the things out of, never sealing or moving them. He just couldn't bring himself to let go.
A couple of times, Shera had even seen him, through a crack in the door as she passed, sitting at the foot of the bed and clutching Vincent's old red cloak to his chest like it was a child, rocking to and fro.
She would find her eyes filling with tears; she couldn't bear to see Cid so grief-stricken. It was still so bad, even after a month it was as if Vincent had only been gone a day.
The house was like a cemetery, full of unspoken memories and pain that lingered in the air. In a way, Vincent was haunting Cid because his memory and his painful loss stayed behind...
Then one day, Cid came downstairs earlier than usual, as Shera was waiting for the kettle to boil. There were no tears in his eyes this time, and his face looked kind of... determined.
"Captain? What are you doing up..?" She asked, watching him as he put on his jacket and goggles.
"Something I've put off for too long." He murmured, putting his packet of cigs under his goggle strap.
She stood in the doorway as he strode down the path, stopping to pick some flowers as he did every day before setting off to the beach as usual.
"What is he going so early for..?" She wondered quietly as he disappeared from view.
***
Cid set his jaw as he made his way back from the beach as usual, but instead of back home he went to the Highwind ship, he was determined to talk to Lucrecia again. She was his only link now to the man he'd lost. He didn't know why he'd put it off for so long, but he needed to talk to her about Vincent. She was the only one now who he felt he could talk to and be understood when he talked about the only person he'd ever truly loved. And lost...
Cid checked the date on the now hardly-used digital clock on the control panel - he'd lost count of the days these last few weeks. October 12th...
"Vin's birthday tomorrow..." He murmured as he shifted the gears and took off into the sky. "I wonder how old he would've been? I'll still get him something. I don't know what to get him though... I'll talk to Lucrecia about it." He nodded, smiling as Vincent's beautiful face appeared in his mind, smiling at him. The tears still came though. He tried to hold them back as he soared in the Highwind over the Nibel mountains they had once crossed. He really looked hard, down at the land flowing underneath, remembering his journey with AVALANCHE and savouring all the little memories that came back to him. He laughed softly at a few, and some made a tear roll down his cheek. He swore that he'd never cried so much in his life as he had in the past two months.
It took a while to fly all the way to Midgar, and he eventually touched down on a grassy area as near to the hulking metropolis as he could. He disembarked and walked resolutely towards the sector 6 gate. He was glad that he had a key cut to the gate after Cloud found it in Bone Village, it had come in very useful.
He wasn't sure where exactly in Sector 6 Cloud lived, but he was certain that it was in Sector 6. He passed the old church and stopped, luck apparently favouring him as he saw Cloud approaching the old building with a bunch of lilies in his hand. He spotted Cid just after Cid had spotted him and waved the pilot over.
"Cid!" Said Cloud. "Nice to see you, how are you?"
Cid nodded. "I'm ok. Thanks for asking. I'm sorry I haven't been up to see any of you guys, but with things... you know."
"Yeah, it's fine, don't worry about it. I understand."
Cid smiled at him faintly. "Yeah... I guess you do." He paused. "Look, there's a favour I gotta ask ya. Can I borrow the keys to the sub? There's somewhere I wanna go, but you can only get to it from underwater."
Cloud nodded. "Of course you can... just bear with me for a bit and I'll take you back to the house to get them. But I got something to take care of first." He lifted the bunch of lilies. "Me and Tifa grew these in our garden... the first flowers to grow in Midgar, apart from Aeris' flowers. I brought some to give to her. Do you want to come? I'm sure she'd like to see you."
Cid nodded expressively. "Sure I will."
Cloud and Cid made their way into the old church.
Cid instantly felt the surge of peace in the air as they entered the old holy place, and a single shaft of golden sunlight pierced through a hole in the roof, illuminating the familiar patch of flowers in a golden glow. Cid saw someone moving slowly in the patch of light, but was obscured by the glow.
"Can you see her?" Cloud whispered, smiling kindly at the figure.
Cid squinted and his heart made a tumult as he made out the delicate features. "Aeris... she's here?" Cid whispered back, not believing his eyes. "But I thought she..."
"Yes," Cloud replied, somewhat sadly. "It's her spirit. Once in a while, I see her here. But whenever I try to go near her, she disappears... so I just stay here at the back. It's strange, like I just suddenly think of her one day for no apparent reason so I come here and there she is. I'm never wrong. That's why I brought her these flowers... I know she loved lilies." He stepped forward a little and laid the flowers down upon the old wood floor. "I grew them in Midgar, Aeris!" He said quietly, smiling at the ethereal visage of the flower girl working hard with her blossoms. "The Planet's getting better now. No more Shinra. No more... him."
Cid watched the silent spirit with quiet wonderment. Was Vincent's spirit appearing somewhere like this?
But suddenly, he broke from his thoughts as he heard Cloud gasp. He looked up sharply. "What?"
He followed Cloud's shocked gaze and saw the spirit of Aeris rise from her flowers and approach them!
"Ae... Aeris..." Cloud whispered and almost ran forward to the girl smiling and walking towards him, she seemed so real you could touch her... But she stopped as she came to the edge of the patch of sunlight, and Cloud reached out for her outstretched hand. It appeared this had never happened before.
Cid heard Cloud cry out softly as his hand went straight through the girl's. "Aeris..."
"Cloud..." The apparition whispered. "Thank you for the flowers... they're beautiful. And you grew them in Midgar! Well done!" She smiled. Her voice was echoing and ethereal.
Cloud was desperate to touch her face, her hand... tears were running down his face.
"Aeris... why... why have you never come to me before? You always vanish if I take so much as a step towards you..."
"Cloud..." She whispered fondly, laying her almost semi-transparent hand upon his face, leaving a gentle warm glow where she touched. "I'm not really supposed to be doing this. I'm breaking the rules, you know. But..." She smiled at Cid, who was slowly approaching, awe and wonder on his face.
"I was asked to bring a message to someone." She continued, her face full of kindness and light.
Cloud shook his head. "I don't understand..." He whispered.
"This spirit is not strong enough to visit the realms of the living, and begged me to pass on a message. I saw this request as an opportunity to see you, to speak to you again, Cloud..." She smiled gently.
Cloud wiped a tear from his face. "But who would have a message for me, other than you?" He asked the girl's spirit.
"This message is for Cid." Aeris smiled.
Cid's heart leapt into his throat. "For... me..?" He managed, his throat tight. It could only be...
Aeris moved as close as she could to Cid. It seemed she couldn't leave the patch of glowing sunlight. "Vincent says he loves you, Cid." She smiled, happy to deliver the message.
Cid covered his hand with his mouth, sinking slowly to his knees. Tears formed in his eyes.
"Vin... is he safe?" Cid whispered, his voice trembling. "Please tell me he's happy... wherever he is..." The tears broke free.
Aeris knelt, her face level with Cid's and radiantly glowing with some inner light. "He's safe and happy, but he misses you terribly. He knew you would see me today, so he begged me to pass on a message to you. How could I refuse such a request from an old friend? I know it's breaking the rules, but I'm at a certain rank where I can bend them a little bit..."
She stood and with a soft flash of light two huge feathery white wings appeared on her back, folded serenely. She seemed to resonate with purity and light.
Cid stared up at her as he knelt, through his tears.
Cloud stood still, staring at her in wonder. "You're an Angel..."
Aeris laughed softly, and touched his face gently. "Yes. I watch over you as much as I can, you know, Cloud."
Cloud lifted a trembling hand and held it over Aeris'. "You watch over me..?"
Aeris stepped back into the sunlight. "I must leave now. I'm so glad I saw you both... It's so good to see you."
"Aeris! Don't leave me!" Cloud cried, rushing forward, but went right through Aeris' shimmering intangible form and landed in the flowers behind her.
"I'm sorry, Cloud... I have duties I must attend to. I'll be watching over you, remember that." She knelt down and laid the lightest of kisses upon his head.
Cloud shook with his sobs. "I love you..." He whispered to her.
She smiled at him. "And I will always love you." She began to fade.
"Wait!" Cid cried, unexpectedly. Aeris turned to face him.
"You gotta give Vin a message from me! Please!" He cried.
Aeris continued to fade. "But Cid, there's no need... he can already hear you..."
She disappeared, leaving a faint glow of golden light where she had once stood.
The two of them spent a long time just sitting there, in that patch of sunlight amongst the flowers. The sun warmed them, yet there was a bittersweet pain inside both.
There was a long time of silence, each contemplating what had happened, and the visitation meant different things to both of them...
Cloud had spoken to the woman he had loved and lost to Sephiroth's cruel blade so unfairly... she had been murdered as she prayed for the safety of all the souls on the planet.
Cid had received a message from his love, so recently taken away from him, also unfairly. The pain was so fresh for Cid...
"I loved her, you know." Cloud said quietly after a while, his gloved hand gently caressing a healthy rooted flower.
Cid smiled. "Yeah. I think we all knew, back then. There was just... something special between you."
Cloud smiled faintly. "Strange... how we love and lose people, isn't it...? So unfair..."
Cid bowed his head, silently thinking of the long weeks he had spent caring for Vincent in his final days. Just when they had a chance to be together, in peace, after the threat of Meteor was over... Vincent was to disappear along with the monsters. Is that why he used to call himself a monster? Did he know he was destined to die from the moment he joined the team? Wasn't he afraid?
But still... it was better for him to have had some life before the end... the thought of them not finding him in the basement of Shinra Mansion played at Cid's mind like a terrible threat of what could have been. Just one wrong slip of that dial on the safe... one spin of the wheel, and Vincent would have remained locked in that terrible room full of skeletons and corpses, stuck in that coffin until he merely faded away, unknowing. No one would have mourned for him, because he would have simply ceased to exist - and who would have remembered him if he had not have been found? Who would bring him flowers to honour his memory? Unmarked, in his lonely grave.
No... it had turned out for the best. At least Vincent had been loved.
Eventually they left the church and went slowly to Cloud's house. Despite the tears they had cried, they felt blessed that they had been granted a visitation from the Angel who once fought and died alongside them, and a message from another, more recently departed comrade.
Cloud handed over the keys to the sub and wished Cid luck with wherever he wanted to go. Cid was thankful that Cloud did not ask where he was going.
So, with a farewell Cid left Sector 6 and Midgar, going back to the Highwind that was waiting at the first grassy area away from the huge once-prosperous city. As Cid boarded, he wondered about what Aeris had said. Vincent could always hear him...
Cid sat behind the control panel and habitually flicked on the ignition switches and pushed the levers forward.
"Vin... can you hear me now?" He asked, automatically looking upward for some reason. "If you can hear me, let me know. Show me a sign..."
He waited.
Nothing happened.
Cid sighed. "I guess you can't show me, cos you aren't allowed..." He murmured. "But I love you. Always will." He smiled, and the Highwind took off, making for Junon.
Cid actually felt like he was getting somewhere as he got off the Highwind and used the keys Cloud gave him to board the submarine. He was thankful that he had enrolled on a Shinra vehicle operation course in his younger days so he could manoeuvre virtually any means of transportation. After all, he was the best pilot in the world. He grinned grimly as the submarine dived beneath the water.
It took him a little longer than he expected to find the underwater tunnel that led to the inland lake, as he took two wrong turns along the way; first he found himself at the site of the decimated wreck of the Shinra Gelnika plane, then he took the wrong tunnel when he was in the right vicinity and ended up where the team had once found the key to the music box in the City of the Ancients.
At last, he found the right tunnel and surfaced into the inland lake.
He stepped out of the submarine and looked at the gloomy cave entrance cleverly hidden behind a waterfall.
Cid carefully stepped behind it and into the cave.
Strangely, the cave seemed quite well lit, and there were crystalline stalactites reflecting some unseen light source around the cave.
"Hello, Cid."
Cid turned and saw Lucrecia standing by a rocky pillar. She smiled at him.
"Good of you to come." She looked sad, despite her smile.
"I wanted to talk to you..." He said.
"And I wanted to talk to you." She replied, seriously. "You first."
"Well, as it happens..." Cid began. "As I was making my way over here, I received a message from Vin."
Lucrecia leaned forward. "Really? How?"
Cid explained everything that had happened in the church... about Aeris, and her message.
Lucrecia asked who this Aeris was, but Cid did not have the heart to tell her it was the girl that her own son killed in cold blood. But it seemed that she realised this anyway.
"So, this was the girl that I saw in a dream..." Lucrecia whispered. "I foresaw her death in my dreams. I called out to Sephiroth with my soul, begging him not to take her life... but he was consumed in a madness and could not hear my faraway cries... It was too late. For all that Vincent claimed he was full of sins... all those sins he spoke of and more were really my sins. He took all the blame onto himself, needlessly..."
Cid hung his head. "He realised in the end, that it wasn't his fault, Lucrecia..." He looked up at her. "But don't misunderstand. You can't take any of the blame either, or you're just repeating his mistake! It was Hojo, it's always been Hojo! Even the wrong done by Sephiroth is Hojo's fault, if you think about it!"
Lucrecia smiled at Cid. "I really see why you were so good for Vincent. You have a kind heart."
Cid sighed, looking wearily with a faint smile at the woman. "Always been my weakness, unfortunately."
"No." Lucrecia whispered. "Not a weakness. A strength; one that I never had. I was always so selfish, and such a fool. Now so many people have paid for my weakness. I can only hope to atone by righting one wrong done on my part." She walked up to a large rock near the back of the cave and pulled out a strange metal device from behind it. She came back to Cid and almost reverently placed it in his hands.
"Take this, and go to the City of the Ancients in one week from now, at this exact time. Do not tell anyone about it. I will meet you there. But for now, you must leave. Go back to your home and rest, take care of any business you have to attend to." She smiled, she seemed almost excited. "There is one last secret that the Ancients left behind that I managed to keep from Hojo and even professor Gast. Now I know why I was meant to keep it. Goodbye, Cid - remember, exactly one week."
Cid looked down at the ancient-looking thing in his hands. It looked like a severely deformed pair of scissors to him. "But why? What's the big secret? Is it something to do with Aeris..?" He asked her.
But when he looked up, she was gone.
"....."
"She keeps @#$%in' doing that."
****
Shera sighed and threw the dishcloth in the sink before collapsing on the sofa, exhausted. She had just spring cleaned the entire kitchen, even though it was October. She'd needed something to keep her mind busy, and the house was less than immaculate as neither she nor the captain felt much up to house work these days. But it needed to be done.
Her eyes were just losing their battle to remain open when she heard the front door open, and Cid walked in, frowning and examining a strange metal object in his hands. A cig in his mouth coiled its grey smoke up into the air.
"Captain, you're back..." Shera yawned. "Where did you go?" She sat up and looked at him over the back of the sofa. "What's that you've got there?"
Shera thought he seemed reluctant to tell her about it. "Oh, this? It's... uh... well, I don't know, truthfully. Someone gave it to me." He put it on the table. Even despite Lucrecia's warning, he didn't care if Shera saw it. He didn't have to tell her anything about it, did he? He trusted her implicitly. "I just went to see someone I haven't seen in a while..."
He thought for a moment about telling Shera about the visitation from Aeris, the message she gave him... even about Lucrecia. But the more he considered it, the more he realised she'd think he'd gone funny in the head. Hell, he thought - what if I have!
It wouldn't have surprised him with all the shit running through his head.
But no. This was real, but he thought it best not to tell. At least not until he knew what the hell was going on with this meeting he was to go to at the City of the Ancients in one weeks time...
****
Slightly longer chappie, eh! Hey, we're getting somewhere. ^_^