A Residue of Hope
Disclaimer: I don't own the O.C., or anything for that matter, so please don't sue! The poem, and title of the story are by Nicholas Gordon.
Summary: Seth and Summer's daughter Lizzy has cancer. The trials and tribulations of a family dealing with hardship.
A/N: I love to write, although this is my first stab at fan fiction. Let me know what you think!
There is a residue of hope
In every act of grief,
A beauty at the source of pain
A truth that brings relief
"Hey, Lizzy." The little girl smiled at the sound of her father's voice.
"Daddy!" she cried excitedly, pressing the button next to her bed. Slowly, it began to rise, until the girl was in an upright position.
"I have a surprise for you," her father winked. Lizzy clapped her hands, and he turned away. He couldn't bear to see the bruised hand, with the IV poked so uncaringly into her pale smooth skin. It was skin that had never seen the sun's rays, pallid and innocent.
As if on cue, a gorgeous young woman cradling a small child entered the mauve room.
"Mommy!" Lizzy exclaimed. She turned towards her father. "Mommy's not the surprise, is she? I see her all the time." Her lower lip began to jut out, and she pouted. She was definitely her mother's daughter.
"How are you feeling, baby?" the brunette woman asked. Her eyes were glowing like only a mother's can, as she walked over to her daughter.
Lizzy's eyes opened in disbelief. "Who's that?" she asked suspiciously.
"This," her father introduced, "is your new baby brother."
Lizzy looked from her mother, to her father, to the baby, and back again to her mother. "Your bump is gone."
Her parents shared a laugh, and Lizzy wasn't sure why. "Yes, honey, it's gone," her mother smiled.
"What's his name?" Lizzy asked warily.
"Adam," her father answered.
Dr. Miller entered the room, manila folder in hand. Lizzy loved the way his white coat swished when he came to check up on her. And he'd promised to get Lizzy her very own coat, one day.
"Summer, Seth," he greeted Lizzy's parents. "Ah. Here he is. What's his name?"
"Adam," came the proud response. Lizzy couldn't help but feel a bit envious of her new brother. What was so special about him that he could get all the attention?
"What a cute little boy," Dr. Miller smiled. "Was Dr. Jamey nice, Lizzy?"
Lizzy bobbed her head up and down enthusiastically. Finally, the spotlight was on her. "He was really nice. He even brought me lunch, and chocolate cake for dessert!"
Dr. Miller made a note on his folder. "Great. How are you feeling?"
"Good," Lizzy answered. "But that medicine they gave me last night was icky. Do I have to take any more?"
Dr. Miller made a face. "Unfortunately, yes. But we'll find a way to make you like it, I promise. Seth, can I talk to you for a minute?"
"I'll be right back," Seth promised Lizzy and Summer, and stepped outside with Dr. Miller.
When they had closed the door, Dr. Miller began, "Seth, the cancer's spread."
Seth's jaw dropped. "What?" he squeaked.
Dr. Miller put his hand on Seth's shoulder. "We tried, we did it all. But it still spread to the bone marrow."
"Well, there are treatments, right? We've got options, Dr. Miller, don't we?" Seth began to panic. This was his beautiful daughter, his perfect, beautiful daughter.
"Seth, bone marrow transplantation is most oftentimes successful. I'm not going to lie and say that there aren't risks of complications, but I'll do everything in my power to make sure that there aren't any." Dr. Miller sighed. This was the hardest part of his job, telling parents that their terminally ill children weren't getting any better.
"I--I don't know what to say," Seth mumbled. "Is that our last option?"
"No, Seth, it's not. Chemotherapy is highly effective as well. But for right now, Lizzy's best chance is with a transplantation," the doctor answered. "Look, why don't you go home, talk it over with Summer, and call me in the morning? I know it's a hard decision to make but I think you'll do what's best for Lizzy."
"Thanks, Dr. Miller," Seth said, as the doctor walked down the hall to check on another patient.
Seth took a deep breath, willing himself to stabilize his emotions before he re-entered the room. He couldn't let Lizzy see him like this, all distraught. Then she'd know something was truly wrong. She knew she was sick, really sick, but the hospital was the only home she'd ever known. Seth and Summer always masked their worry and concern around Lizzy, trying to pretend that somehow, everything was okay. That their daughter wasn't battling a life-threatening disease at the ripe old age of six. That they'd tried for four years to have a baby, and had been so happy to have Lizzy, yet devastated when they'd learned of her illness.
"It's getting late," Seth tapped his watch as he walked back into Lizzy's room. A few deflating balloons stood in the corner by the window, and Lizzy's hope tree was soaking up a few rays on the windowsill.
Seth walked over to his daughter and kissed her shiny black hair. "Love you, daddy," the little girl yawned. It was getting late.
"I love you too, princess. I'll see you tomorrow," Seth smiled, trying to forget that Lizzy needed a bone marrow transplant. If only she knew…Seth shook his head. If he thought about it in front of Lizzy, then the both of them would get upset. The last thing Seth needed was to drain Lizzy of her naivety and happiness.
He watched as Summer kissed her daughter softly, then let Lizzy give Adam a kiss. Adam was only three days old; but Seth could already see Lizzy's older sister protectiveness starting to kick in. She cooed in the baby's ear, then pressed the button to lower her bed to sleeping position.
Seth held the door open for his beautiful wife, then, stealing one last glance at his beautiful daughter, turned off the lights.
"Good night, Lizzy," he sighed.
Adam was already snoozing in Summer's arms by the time they got down to the parking garage.
"What did Dr. Miller want to talk to you about?" Summer, asked, strapping Adam into his car seat.
"It's Lizzy," Seth answered. "She needs a bone marrow transplant."
Summer whimpered. "The cancer spread?"
Seth hugged Summer tight. "I know baby," he soothed, "I know it's hard."
"You don't know anything, Seth," Summer snapped. "You don't know how hard it is for me to see Lizzy in…there. I feel like a terrible mother, that I'm not there enough. And now…she's getting sicker? Seth, I don't have time for her to be sick. Lizzy's childhood is slipping away, baby. And I'm going to miss it all, just like she is."
She collapsed into her husband's arms. "Oh, Seth, I'm so sorry…"
"Shh," Seth whispered into Summer's tousled hair. He breathed in her coconut shampoo, but for the first time, it ceased to bring a warm, flushed feeling to his body. "We'll get through this, I know we will."
The way home, Seth drove with one hand, keeping the other one clasped with Summer's. She sobbed silently, a very un-Summer thing to do. Summer rarely cried; she hadn't even cried when Lizzy was diagnosed with cancer.
"Why us?" Seth murmured softly, when Summer slipped away into a short, restless nap. "What did I do to deserve this?"