A Residue of Hope
Disclaimer: I don't own the O.C., or anything for that matter, so please don't sue! The poem, and title of the story are by Nicholas Gordon.
Summary: Seth and Summer's daughter Lizzy has cancer. The trials and tribulations of a family dealing with hardship.
A/N: I love to write, although this is my first stab at fan fiction. Let me know what you think! Thanks for the reviews!
Sings just before the light
Though little else is visible
To those that watch the night
"We've got to do it, Seth," Summer told him. "It's not fair to Lizzy if we don't at least try.""I know," Seth sighed, picking up his coffee. He sighed again when the steaming liquid touched his lips.
"I'll call Dr. Miller after I meet with Joey," Summer promised.
"I was thinking we could go down to the hospital, to talk with him. That way we can start the search for a donor immediately," Seth said.
"Honey...I can't. The spring show's just around the corner, and Joey and I have to go over the new designs," Summer tried to explain.
"I think our daughter's health is more important than a fashion show," Seth said, a little more spitefully than he'd intended.
"I cannot believe you. Without my job, how would we pay for Lizzy's treatment, Seth? You're not the only one who brings home the bacon in this house," Summer huffed.
Seth kissed his wife on her forehead. "I'm sorry, Summer. I know you're really busy. I'll go down to the hospital around lunchtime and meet with Dr. Miller then, okay?" He smoothed her hair down and gave her one last kiss. "I love you."
Summer went upstairs to wake Adam. Kirsten, Seth's mother, was coming over to watch him for the day, since Summer couldn't be there. She was planning on sending Adam to daycare when he was four months old, but until then, she didn't trust him with anyone but family or close friends.
"Baby, your sister is sick," Summer told Adam. He gurgled and cooed, unaware of the significance of the facts. Things seemed to be so much easier for babies, Summer decided. They didn't have children to worry about, or decisions to make.
"Hello, Summer," Kirsten greeted her daughter-in-law with a hug and kiss on the cheek. "How's Lizzy doing?"
"She's doing okay," Summer forced a smile. Sandy and Kirsten didn't need to know...not yet. "She's been asking for you."
Kirsten smiled warmly, oblivious to her granddaughter's impending transplant. "I know, but Sandy's going to see her today. As a surprise. We thought it would make her happy, I know how dreary hospitals can be."
"Lizzy will be so happy," Summer agreed. Kirsten and Sandy seemed to be so good at dividing their time. While she was pregnant, Summer had always felt torn when she had to go to doctors appointments and miss visits with Lizzy. She suspected that she'd begin to feel the same way when Adam got a little older.
Kirsten walked over to the crib and scooped Adam into her arms. "Has he eaten yet?"
Summer rolled her eyes. "At four-thirty. But I suppose she'll be getting hungry again soon. Your son is so lazy, Kirsten. He pretends he's sleeping when Adam cries so I end up tending to him every time."
The women shared a laugh. "That's my boy," Kirsten murmured. "We're going to have fun today, aren't we Adam?"
"Bye, Kirsten. Thank you so much again. Bye, Adam." Summer left the nursery and hurried down the stairs. She checked her watch, and she had only fifteen minutes before her meeting with Joey, her second-in-command.
"Mr. Cohen," the nurse on duty greeted Seth with a respectful nod of the head. It was a pity, really, about his daughter. She was so young, so hopeful, so full of life. The nurse had seen it all before, soon that vivacity would be sucked out of the young girl.
"Can I go in?" Seth motioned to his daughter's closed door.
"They're changing Lizzy's IV right now. You might not want to.it gets pretty ugly sometimes."
Seth peered into the square window on the door. Lizzy had tears streaming down her face and she was kicking her legs violently. Two nurses and a doctor, who must be Dr. Jamey, were attempting to calm her down so that they could replace the IV.
"I'll wait," he sighed. Lizzy didn't deserve this. She was such a good kid, bright too. Yet she'd never seen the inside of a school, never seen the waves crash against the shore, and never known anything else. To her, this was life, nothing new.
After a few minutes of small talk with the nurse, Seth was beginning to get a bit antsy. Thankfully, Dr. Jamey came out, followed by one of the nurses.
"Hello, Mr. Cohen, I presume?" Dr. Jamey shook Seth's hand.
"And you must be Dr. Jamey," Seth greeted the slightly balding man warmly. "How is she?"
"Fran's trying to calm her down," Dr. Jamey gestured to the nurse still in Lizzy's room. "Lizzy normally doesn't give us any trouble at all. I'm not sure what's gotten into her. I guess it's just restlessness."
Seth smiled faintly. This must have something to do with Adam. "I guess so," he assented.
"Now, Seth," Dr. Jamey lowered his voice confidentially, and the nurse Seth had been talking to walked further down the hall to allow the two privacy. "I know Dr. Miller's just told you about the bone marrow transplant. But," he held up his hand before Seth could comment, "before that, I think we can set aside some time for Lizzy to get away...before the operation."
"Okay," Seth swallowed. The hospital had always had strict rules about patients leaving, even if it were just for a short period of time. Lizzy had never been on vacation in her life, although Summer and Seth had tried to get her released many times. Why was the hospital suddenly being so lenient? Lizzy was going to make it through the operation, wasn't she?
"I know what you're thinking," Dr. Jamey interrupted Seth's increasingly worrisome train of thought. "Lizzy is going to do just fine. Dr. Miller and I agreed that it was time for her to see the world a little. She's so pale, and so inexperienced. We think that a vacation will do her a world of good."
"Can I see her now?" Seth asked, choosing to ignore Dr. Jamey's last statement. Sure, he said that Lizzy was going to do fine, but what did he know?
Dr. Jamey nodded, and held open the door for him. Lizzy's face did not light up when Seth walked into the room, like it normally did. Seth reached her bed and saw that she was sleeping, her tear stained face looked so serene that Seth thought she might be an angel. He pulled up a chair to Lizzy's bedside and watched her sleep. His eyes were heavy with sleep; although he had pretended to be dead to the world last night, forcing Summer to pacify Adam's cries, he had in fact been wide awake, unable to sleep, knowing that his daughter was getting sicker by the hour.
"Daddy, Daddy," Seth felt a slight tug on his arm. "Wake up!"
He shook the sleep out of his eyes and opened them. "Hey, baby," his face lit up when he saw Lizzy. "How was your day?"
Lizzy's mouth twitched slightly. "Fine," she answered curtly, and Seth knew he'd hit a nerve. But at least he hadn't mentioned the temper tantrum he'd witnessed; that would've sparked a rage blackout, and Lizzy's were starting to rival her mother's.
"So," Seth started, "I have another surprise for you." Even though he hadn't discussed it with Summer, Seth wanted to tell Lizzy about her release from the hospital.
"Another brother?" Lizzy asked hopefully.
"No. But if you want another one, put in a good word with your mom, okay?"
"Okay," Lizzy agreed. "What's the surprise, then?"
A sharp knock came at the door, and Lizzy's eyes lit up. Seth turned around to see two unkempt eyebrows waggling in the window. Sandy. He'd recognize those eyebrows anywhere, besides, Seth himself checked in the mirror every day to make sure his weren't taking on lives of their own. It was inevitable, but apparently Seth was a late bloomer.
"Grandpa!" Lizzy shouted, her voice a little raspy. Seth hadn't noticed it before, but the scratchy tone was definitely there. He shook his head, it was probably nothing, just the medicine working.
"Liz," Sandy cracked a smile, walking over to his granddaughter. "How's my favorite girl in the world?"
"Don't let mom hear you say that," Seth greeted his father. Sandy rolled his eyes at Seth and scooped Lizzy into a bear hug.
"Where's Grandma?" Lizzy asked, squeezing Sandy tight. Seth's ears pricked at the mention of Grandma, he still found it weird to hear his mom being called that.
"Uh," Sandy ran a hand through his salt and pepper hair, "she's busy today, sweetie. But she promised to come see you real soon."
"Okay," Lizzy accepted this. "What are we going to do today?"
Sandy reached into the bag he'd brought with him, and produced a thin, shiny rectangular box. "I thought we could watch Finding Nemo."
Lizzy clapped her hands together excitedly. "Oh, can we Grandpa? You're the best!" She reached up and gave him a kiss.
"Lizzy?" Seth didn't want to interrupt his father's time with Lizzy. "I've got to make a few work calls. I'll come back in a little while, okay?" He kissed the top of her head softly and slipped out of the room. Sneaking one little glance back into the room, Seth saw Sandy putting the DVD into the player under the TV. Lizzy's bed was in an upright position, and she was leaning forward eagerly. Sandy was so good with kids.
Seth turned and walked down the hallway, going into the children's play area on the floor. He sat down in a chair that was way, way, way too small for his butt, or his "bony ass" as Summer referred to his backside. Flipping open his cell phone, Seth held down the "1"…the first number on his speed dial, which was, of course, Summer's cell phone.
"Summer Cohen speaking."
"Hey," Seth smiled at the sound of his wife's voice. His wife. Summer Cohen was his wife. It was still hard to believe sometimes; the years leading up to junior year had been filled with…well, nothing from Summer, because she hadn't noticed Seth's existence until then.
"Is something wrong with Lizzy? Because I'm in the middle of an important staff meeting," Summer sighed, indicating that Seth should leave her alone unless it was an emergency.
"No, Lizzy's fine…I think." Seth bit his lip…how should he say this? "Dr. Jamey thinks that we should take Lizzy on vacation before the bone marrow procedure."
"I thought the hospital wouldn't release her," Summer said, "are you sure she's going to be okay?"
"I was thinking the same thing," Seth admitted. "But I'm sure she'll be fine. I guess they just want her to see a bit of the outside world, you know, since she hasn't really seen the ocean and whatnot."
"Hold on," Summer said, and Seth could hear her talking to someone in the background. "Can we talk about this later, Seth? I've got to go."
"It can wait," Seth told her. "I love you."
"Love you too." Summer clicked off.
Seth replaced his cell phone in the holster on his belt, setting it to vibrate. He walked out of the play area, practically tripping over a stuffed duck that was just begging to be held. He peered in the window of Lizzy's room, and, seeing his daughter and father on the bed, staring up at the screen, decided not to disturb them. Lizzy had this look on her face…she seemed so…alive. She was curled up in Sandy's lap, and his arms were protectively wrapped around her.
Seth took the elevator down to the street level and got into his car. It would be pointless to go into work now…it was already lunchtime. Besides, Seth knew he wouldn't get any work done if he did, seeing as he would be worrying about Lizzy the entire time. Instead, he decided to go home early, and cook a nice meal for Summer. She'd been working really hard lately, and Seth wanted to do something special for her. Picking up two-dozen white lilies at a roadside stand, Seth continued on his way home.
"Mom?" Seth called, sliding his key into the lock and opening the front door of his house. Kirsten was watching Adam today, wasn't she?
"You're home early Seth." Seth heard the clamor of pots and pans in the kitchen, a sure sign that his mother was in there. He walked into the kitchen to find a bubbling pot, a counter of chopped vegetables, and frantic Kirsten standing in a stained apron. The yellow baby monitor lay on the kitchen table.
"Are you trying to cook, mom?" Seth asked, laughing. Kirsten wiped her hands on the apron and put her hands on her hips.
"You try to watch a baby and cook at the same time," she snapped.
Seth extended his hand for the ladle that Kirsten was brandishing. "Watch and learn."
This got him a glare—Seth suspected that his mother had been taking lessons from Summer—and a sharp rap on the knuckles with the ladle. "Ouch," he yelped as the hot metal touched his skin. "What sort of example are you trying to set?"
"Oh, stop it, you big baby." Kirsten took the top off the pot and a cloud of steam billowed out. She began to put carrot, onion, and pepper pieces into the boiling liquid. "I'm making stew," she announced.
Seth picked up the phone. "I'll call the Chinese place."
Another glare. God, what was it with the women Seth surrounded himself with? His mother, wife, and daughter were all the same.
"How's Lizzy?" Kirsten asked, stirring the stew, which, although Seth would never admit, smelled pretty damn tempting.
"She's doing okay. She asked for you today," Seth told his mom. "Sandy said you would come to see her soon."
Kirsten brushed her hair out of her face. "I will," she sighed. "It just breaks my heart to see her. Now I know how Sandy felt when his mother was in the hospital, only I feel worse about Lizzy, I think."
Seth nodded. The Nana's battle with cancer had been hard on all of the Cohens, most of all Sandy. He couldn't bear to see his mother losing the one war that had consumed his father too. Even though the Nana had been dead for almost six years, Sandy still got a little teary-eyed when anyone brought her name up.
"She's going to be fine," Seth said, but really it was more to assure himself than his mother. "Lizzy's a trooper. I know she'll make it through this."
Kirsten brought the ladle to her lips, tasting her attempt at a stew. "I've got faith in Lizzy, Seth," she said. "Try this and tell me how it tastes."
Seth took the tiniest of licks and shuddered. Kirsten frowned. "It doesn't taste all that bad to me," she murmured.
Seth grinned and grabbed the ladle, slurping up the rest of the stew on it. "It's great mom. Congratulations, your first edible meal!"
Just then the phone rang. "I'll get it, sweetie." Kirsten reached for the phone. "Hello?"
It's Sandy, she mouthed to Seth. "Yeah, he's here. Hold on." She handed the phone to her son.
"Dad?"
"Hey Seth, I just wanted to let you know that Dr. Miller's here, and he wants to run a few tests on Lizzy. He needed your approval though." Sandy's voice was surprisingly devoid of worry.
"Is she okay?" Seth asked. Maybe he shouldn't have left the hospital… "What kind of tests?"
"Seth, Lizzy's doing great." Sandy paused, realizing what he'd just said. Lizzy wasn't okay, she had cancer for crying out loud. "Dr. Miller needs to run a few tests on her blood before they can start looking for a bone marrow donor. Which leads me to ask you, why didn't you tell me she needed a bone marrow transplant?"
"Tell Dr. Miller that it's fine," Seth answered his father. "I just found out about the transplant myself, so it's not like I've known for a long time."
"I see," Sandy said. "Well, I'm going to stick around until Lizzy's done with the tests, and then I guess I'll head over to your house. Kirsten said she was cooking but I assume that means we're getting take-out."
Seth laughed, he and his father thought very much alike. "Thanks, Dad. And actually, her stew is edible. I'd give it an A, honestly."
"Never thought I'd see the day…" Sandy remarked, "Don't tell your mom I said that though."
"I won't," Seth promised. "Listen, can you tell Lizzy that I'm going to swing by after dinner? Hopefully before she's out for the night."
"Can do," Sandy responded. "See you later. Tell your mom I said hi."
"He says hi," Seth told Kirsten. He replaced the phone in its cradle and turned towards his mother. "Lizzy's going to be okay, isn't she mom?"
Kirsten walked over to Seth and put her hand on his shoulder. "I don't know," she said. "But I've got faith, honey."
"Faith wasn't enough to keep Nana alive," Seth whimpered. Kirsten wrapped him in a tight hug. "What if it's not enough?"