Love, Lies and Chances
Part 4
Kelly's
"There are days I don't even have time to brush my hair. I'm just running the whole day long without a break it seems like. I never knew a person could be so tired and still function."
Bobbie Spencer eyed the woman she had sometimes viewed as a surrogate daughter with a critical eye. "And you wouldn't change a minute of it would you?"
"No." Elizabeth was quick to agree. "My whole life changed when Brenna was born. She changed it in ways I didn't know were possible. I wouldn't trade one sleepless night of it," she cocked a grin in Bobbie's direction. "But dirty diapers are another story."
"I hear you on that score," Bobbie commiserated with a shudder. "I'm back in the dirty diaper habit with Morgan."
The mention of Morgan took some of the good humor from the table. Bobbie had taken the news about Brenna and the identity of her father surprisingly well considering other people's reactions. In fact they had barely even discussed it, and because of that the white elephant in the room remained and only got bigger as the topic was continually avoided. Elizabeth decided the time had come. "Is there anything you want to say to me?"
"About what?"
"About what I did to Jason. I know how close you are to him." Elizabeth knew that in most respects Jason was closer to Bobbie than he was to his mother. She often felt that was because Bobbie was more accepting of Jason and didn't need his love or acceptance the way Monica did.
"It's not my place to say," Bobbie tried to avoid the question.
"It is if I ask for your opinion." Until that moment Elizabeth hadn't realized how much she wanted Bobbie's understanding. She knew that outright approval would never be forthcoming and shouldn't be. But she hoped that Bobbie could understand her motivations. Bobbie's opinion was important to her, with all she had helped her through in her life, she was closer to Bobbie than her own mother.
"I know that when a mother feels like she has to protect her child there is nothing she won't do." Her laughter came with a touch of derision. "I'm a prime example of the extremes a mother will go to. Sometime I should tell you about the adoption of Lucas and my blood war with Tiffany Hill, I should mention that Tiffany was my friend before the custody arguments began," she sighed in memory. "The damage we inflicted on each other over Lucas was so extreme, so brutal that even when we eventually became friends again things were never the same between us."
"This isn't a custody fight. Jason would never try to take Brenna from me." She repeated a conclusion she'd come to the day before, it was a belief she firmly believed in.
"I know that Jason would never try to take Brenna from you." Bobbie took Elizabeth's hand to offer some comfort. "But honey the fact remains you kept his child from him and in doing that you broke his heart."
The table was quiet for a long time as both women digested the words. "Why is it that you can make a decision and you are confidant what you are doing is the right thing, and then later on you realize it was the worse possible thing you could have done?" Elizabeth was finally willing to give voice to the doubts that had been plaguing her. "How can I suddenly announce over a year and a half later that I made a mistake?"
"It's never easy," Bobbie agreed.
"Especially if it's not entirely true. I regret not telling Jason I was pregnant but I still think my reasons for not coming back or asking him to be in our lives on a full-time basis were valid."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying I should have given Jason a chance," Elizabeth admitted. "I should have told him I was pregnant and then left the next move up to him. If he wanted to be involved he'd have to come to me and prove to me that the baby would have come first in his life."
"And you don't think he would have done that do you?" Bobbie shrewdly observed.
"He would have wanted to, I even think he would have tried, but I don't think he would have been able to." Her fear was finally out, laid bare on the scarred table she had bussed for years.
"Elizabeth you're wrong." Bobbie mourned for all the time they had lost over hurt and stubbornness. "You never actually saw Jason with Michael did you?"
"No."
"I can still remember the expression on Jason's face when I placed Michael in his arms for the very first time." Bobbie recalled with a sad smile. "Michael changed Jason's whole life in that instant. Jason would do and did everything possible to love and protect that boy and to ensure that he was safe. He even got Carly and Robin to live together for a time so Michael wouldn't be confused, and let me tell you that wasn't easy to pull off."
"I bet not." In fact Elizabeth couldn't even picture Carly and Robin in the same room, much less in the same house.
"Jason did everything for Michael. And in the end he even made the ultimate sacrifice of giving Michael up so he wouldn't continue to confuse or hurt the boy. Jason would have done the same for Brenna if you had let him," Bobbie finished up her lecture.
If anything Bobbie's observation, her memories made Elizabeth feel even guiltier, and yet there were things she had done that she still thought were right. "I can't ask Jason to change. Whatever happens now has to be his decision. I'm through trying to make choices for him by keeping him in the dark. All I know is that I won't keep Brenna from seeing him whenever we can work it out."
"So you're still planning on leaving Port Charles?" Bobbie asked.
"Yes, we leave Saturday night."
"I thought you wanted to do what's best for Brenna, not yourself," Bobbie reminded her.
"That's what I'm doing Bobbie. I regret not telling Jason about Brenna sooner," Elizabeth admitted honestly. "But I wasn't wrong in staying out of Port Charles. And I'm not wrong in wanting to return to our home in California."
"Yes you are Elizabeth." A new voice joined the mix startling the women.
"This is a private conversation Lucky." His aunt warned him with a glare.
"It just turned public." Cocky as ever Lucky took a seat. "You weren't wrong in keeping Jason away from your daughter Elizabeth. The only mistake you made was in letting him meet her now. Where is she by the way? I've been dying to meet her."
"She's with her father," Elizabeth snapped.
"Elizabeth," Lucky drew out her name as a token of his displeasure. "Are you sure that's wise? You're placing her in danger by even letting her see him."
When Lucky shook his head and gave her that disappointed look he had perfected years before Elizabeth began to get mad. There was a time when that expression had devastated her and she would turn herself into a pretzel in order to please him. But that was years ago.
"Gee Lieutenant Taggert you've sure changed in appearance." Elizabeth said in a sickeningly sweet voice that had Bobbie laughing and Lucky turning red.
"I'm not like Taggert," Lucky retorted. "I just happen to agree that in the case of Jason he might have been right. I mean you left town to get away from him."
His behavior reconfirmed to Elizabeth that she had made the right move in keeping Lucky out of the loop. Lucky, the sweet boy she had once loved with all her heart was gone and the man sitting next to her in a cop's uniform was nothing more than a stranger. And that stranger still seemed to have some of the contempt he'd once held for Jason. Shaking her head she began to gather her stuff to leave.
"Lucky you haven't seen Elizabeth in well over a year, do you really want your first conversation with her to be a fight over a matter that is none of your business?" Bobbie asked with a laser like glare that had her nephew shifting in his chair.
Lucky suddenly felt like he was a ten year old again and she was lecturing him about the time his pet spider had gotten loose in her house and terrorized her dinner party. It wasn't a particularly good feeling. Her expression of warning combined with his memory of the tongue-lashings she used to deliver had the desired effect and he backed off. "From the brief glimpse I had of Brenna at the hospital the other day she looks beautiful."
Both Elizabeth's biggest weakness and her biggest strength was her daughter and she tried to let go of her temper chalking his behavior up to his residual bad feelings for Jason. "She's very beautiful and I say that without any prejudice at all."
Sensing that the hostility might have been stopped Bobbie made her escape. "I need to get going, I have a parent teacher conference at Lucas's school. He seems to have adopted your unique attendance record." She addressed her nephew with a frown. "Elizabeth call me okay?"
"I'll keep in touch this time." Elizabeth promised and gave Bobbie a hug in farewell.
With a final look of warning at Lucky Bobbie took her leave.
"Wow that look was shades of Ruby warning me not to keep you on a break too long," Lucky grinned. "Remember?"
"Yeah. I'm still amazed Ruby didn't fire me years ago. In the beginning I was the world's worst waitress."
"You're mind didn't seem to be on work very often," he recalled.
"No I was to wrapped up in trying to get you to notice me or to make Sarah's life a living hell then waiting tables." Those thoughtlessly spoken words killed the good memories for both of them.
"I'm sorry about what happened with Sarah." Lucky was earnest in his apology. He would never forget the look in her eye when she had walked in on them.
"Don't Lucky." She held up a hand to dispel the forthcoming regrets. "What happened was a long time ago. We've both moved on since then, and in vastly different directions then we thought we would. You're a cop which still surprises me given the scams you used to pull on the police and all the grief you gave Taggert and Garcia. I'm living in Napa and managing an art gallery. Times change, dreams change, people change."
"People don't always have to change."
"Yes they do. There was a time we wouldn't let ourselves see that and with our burying the fact we had changed nearly destroyed us," she reminded him. "We met all those years ago in this very dinner so it's only appropriate we say farewell in it now."
"You're leaving town already?" Surprised, he rose when she did.
"Brenna and I leave on Saturday and since I don't know if I'll see you again I thought I should say goodbye now."
"There's no chance you'll change your mind and stay?" Lucky asked hopefully.
"No."
"If Jason were out of the picture, either out of town or something else, would you stay around?"
"Lucky don't start," she warned him.
"I'm just asking a logical question. If you weren't afraid of what could happen to your daughter if she was around Jason would you stay in Port Charles?" Lucky pressed for an answer.
"You know the reason I'm not staying Lucky? It's because of you and people like you. In California I can raise my daughter in peace, there are no well-meaning yet opinionated friends to tell me what I should do, who I should see and who I shouldn't see. I have friends out there who just listen to me and only give me advice if I ask for it." She cut off her tirade knowing it would do no good. "Forget it, I was hoping we could part friends but now I'll just settle for goodbye."
"Wait Elizabeth," he hurried after her.
"He's all yours Nikolas and you're welcome to him." Elizabeth informed the surprised man who was just walking through the door then kept walking out the door herself.
"Wait." Lucky tried to pursue her but Nikolas shifted in his path. "Move."
"No." Nikolas replied easily. "Elizabeth obviously doesn't want to talk to you so she shouldn't be forced to."
"You don't understand our relationship you never did, that's why your interference always set us back, like when you told Gia the truth about how I felt about Elizabeth and my wedding, or told Elizabeth about seeing me with Sarah. You always did your best to destroy us," Lucky accused his brother.
"I understand more than you think Lucky." Nikolas returned mildly. "I know the real reason you're upset, the reason you're encouraging Emily to hang on to her anger is because of your own. Because you're furious that when Elizabeth was desperate for help she came to me and not you."
"I," stunned Lucky couldn't even work up a denial.
"You're hubris is showing again Lucky and I'm sure that thrills Luke to no end but you really need to step into the real world. You lost Elizabeth on your own, because of your lies, and your betrayals. I lost Elizabeth for a time because I covered for you and I betrayed her in other ways myself. So stop blaming others for your mistakes and start taking responsibility for your own actions, because I'm really getting tired of coddling a child." With that Nikolas pivoted and walked out the door.
General Hospital
"How is Michael doing today?" Jason asked Sonny when he stepped from the room.
"He's chomping at the bit to get out of here. We're going to have to strap him to the bed to keep him in it before too long." Sonny admitted with a proud grin. "Hello beautiful," he addressed the child Jason was holding and was rewarded with a wide mostly toothless grin and he was charmed. He loved his boys but there was something about little girls that always made him smile.
"I wanted Michael to meet Brenna unless you don't think it's a good idea." Jason explained their presence. "The nurse said it would be okay."
Sonny hesitated wondering how Michael would react to knowing he wasn't the most important child in Jason's life any longer. With Morgan and now Brenna the boy was going to have to get used to sharing Jason. "Michael's been asking for you, I'm sure he'd love to meet your daughter," he answered finally.
With that permission Jason made his way inside the room of the first baby he had ever known.
"Jason." Michael's cry of delight faded into puzzlement at the sight of the unfamiliar child in his arms. "Who's that?"
"This is Brenna." Jason kept his voice soft so he didn't startle her and settled on the bed. "I wanted you to meet her."
"Why?" Michael didn't think he was going to like the answer.
"Because she's very important to me and so are you." Jason explained with a seriousness most adults didn't use with a child.
"She's just a girl how important could she be?" Michael wanted to know. Girls were nothing compared to boys.
"Brenna's my daughter Michael."
Michael froze.
Seeing that Jason shifted Brenna until he could touch the boy's hand. "Michael?"
"Does this mean you won't love me anymore?" The boy asked in a small voice. All his life, from his very first memory Jason had been in his life. The sound of his voice could comfort him in a way no one else could not even his mother, and now there was a chance he was going to lose that. Jason had left before but this time would be different.
"Of course I still love you, I'll always love you." Jason promised.
"But what about her?" When Michael pointed at Brenna she reached out and tried to catch his finger.
"I can love more than one person at a time." Jason answered.
"So she's not taking my place?" Michael couldn't seem to help himself from playing chase with the baby. She may be a girl but she could do more things than Morgan could. All Morgan did was sleep, cry, eat, cry, and make a mess in his diapers.
"No one could ever take your place." Jason smiled when Brenna finally caught Michael's finger and let out a cry of delight. "Brenna has her own place in my life. Can you understand that? Do you understand that what I feel for Brenna has nothing to do with how I feel for you?"
The question didn't surprise Michael, Jason always asked him things, which was more than most adults did but he thought about it for a long time before answering. "I guess so. Maybe she won't be so bad, I mean for a girl that is."
"Michael there will come a time when you like girls." Sonny promised from the doorway.
"Ewwww." The boy shuddered, then groaned when Brenna stuck his finger in her mouth drooling all over it. "That's gross."
"You used to do it all the time." Jason pointed out.
"Sorry to interrupt, but there's something you need to know." Sonny addressed Jason who nodded and got to his feet.
"I'll be back later Michael."
"Good." Michael wiped his hand on the blanket and darted a quick look at his dad, who nodded encouragingly. "You can bring the drooler if you want."
Jason smiled, nodded and walked out of the room.
"I didn't want to cut your time short but I thought you should know that the Quartermaine's have invaded the hospital. They could be here to see Michael but there's a good chance the old man has heard about Brenna by now." Sonny explained.
Jason could have cursed in frustration but instead picked up Brenna's bag. He still couldn't stand dealing with the Quartermaine's so there was no way he was going to subject his daughter to their loud demands. "Thanks," Jason walked quickly away.
"Anytime." Sonny watched them leave then turned back in time to see Edward Quartermaine walk around the corner.
"Where are my great-grandchildren?" The old man blustered loudly.
"Jason I was looking for you."
The call reached him as he was nearing the elevators and he reluctantly stopped, when Brenna tilted her head back to look up at him he automatically smiled at her.
"I wanted to tell you that..." Monica trailed off when her son turned around with a little girl that had to be his daughter in his arms. "Is this her?" She instinctively reached out for the blue-eyed little doll then dropped her hand. "Is this Elizabeth's child? Your child?"
Jason could hear the shakiness in her voice and could see the stark need in Monica's eyes, and couldn't help but respond to that need. Stepping closer he held Brenna out. "Mom this is your granddaughter Brenna."
"Oh." Tears spilled from Monica's eyes when she took the little girl that was looking at her curiously. "I heard about you Brenna." When the little girl smiled at her, her heart swelled. She thought back to her loud confrontation with Audrey earlier that day and thought she hadn't said enough to illustrate her displeasure at being kept in the dark about her grandchild. "She's perfect."
"No, she's only a little girl." Jason corrected firmly. There was no way he would let his daughter be labeled anything especially not perfect.
The elevator door opened and his body went through a now familiar reaction. Turning he gestured for Elizabeth to join them.
Monica tore her gaze from her granddaughter to see what had caught her son's attention and the happy expression on her face shifted into one of pure ice. Elizabeth's approach stalled when she saw the older woman's expression. This wasn't going to be pretty. Steeling her spine she walked the few remaining feet, and when Brenna caught sight of her mother she reached out for her. "Doctor Quartermaine."
"Elizabeth." Monica replied coldly and held on to the squirming child who was beginning to tear up the longer she was kept away from her mother.
Elizabeth could see that Brenna was about ready to have a fit and knew she had to try to head it off, before she could make a move Monica's beeper went off.
Grimacing Monica hesitated then gave Brenna back to her son. "I have to go. Thanks for letting me hold her." Ignoring Elizabeth entirely she kissed the baby farewell and left.
"I seem to be getting that reaction a lot since I hit town." Elizabeth murmured and tried to shake off the chill of Monica's passing. "Did you two have fun today?"
"Yes." Reading the need in her eyes he gave Brenna to her and the baby instantly calmed down.
"I can tell Brenna enjoyed herself." She rubbed at a formula stain on the bright purple jumper.
"She enjoys her food. She reminds me of her mother in that respect," he teased without thinking.
"How many times have I told you it's not polite to tease a woman on how much food she eats?" She retorted with a mock glare.
"How many times have I told you I don't like being polite?" He countered with a half smile.
For a moment the tension and hurt between them vanished and their normal pattern of a relationship surfaced. They had always teased each other in a way that would have surprised people had they been privy to the information. They smiled at each other in perfect harmony for a moment and then that moment vanished and Jason pulled back.
"I know I asked you both to join me for dinner," Jason's whole demeanor stiffened. "But there's something I have to take care of so I won't be able to make it."
Elizabeth knew that the unspoken something was for Sonny but didn't say anything. Buying time she fished in her bag looking for a pacifier for Brenna when she began to fuss. She made sure that she kept the disappointment from showing on her face. She was looking forward to spending time with him and Brenna at the same time. Other than that first night when all three of them were together for about an hour, all of the time had been separate. She and him would talk while Brenna was asleep or very briefly when she dropped Brenna off or picked her up, but there was no real time spent with all three of them as a family. Of course that made sense they weren't a family, not really.
"I'm sorry you can't make it," she offered finally when she knew she could speak normally. "Why don't you call me in the morning and we'll figure out a schedule for Brenna. Since tomorrow is Friday I know you want to spend as much time with her as you can before we leave Saturday night."
Jason shut down at the mention of them leaving. If that was disappointment he'd seen flash in her eye's when he had to cancel dinner she had found a perfect way to pay him back. "Elizabeth, it's not what you think."
"It's none of my business. Brenna and I will make other arrangements for dinner."
"Somehow I knew I'd find you here."
Startled by the familiar voice Elizabeth turned around. "Daniel?" Brenna dropped her pacifier and let out a delighted squeal when she saw one of her favorite friends. "What are you doing here?"
"My business in Chicago wrapped up sooner than I thought it would and I thought I'd fly east instead of west and check on the most beautiful lady in my life." He smiled charmingly at Elizabeth then turned his attention to Brenna. "Hello lady."
Well used to his charm and antics with Brenna, Elizabeth handed him her daughter without a second thought. With her arms empty she became aware of the man standing beside her that had seemingly turned into a block of concrete. Unsure of what Jason's reaction would be she darted a glance in his direction and nearly groaned when she saw his stony expression. That was not a good sign.
"I know how worried you were about Audrey and how everything else would turn out." Daniel turned his attention from Brenna who was busy mangling his tie. "I wanted to be here for you and help if I could." His eyes shifted in Jason's direction.
"Don't Brenna that's too expensive to be a chew toy." She automatically reprimanded her daughter when Brenna began to chew on the tie. She knew Daniel didn't care if Brenna drooled all over it but she did. "Daniel Cummings I'd like you to meet Jason Morgan. Jason this is Daniel." She introduced the father of her child to the man who wanted to be in her life forever.
"I figured you were Jason, I see now where Brenna gets her eyes." Daniel made it a habit to size people up quickly and knew that Jason wasn't a person to be underestimated. He shifted Brenna and held out his hand. "Nice to meet you."
Jason reluctantly shook the hand of the man his daughter so obviously adored and Elizabeth was thinking about marrying and promptly hated him on sight. "I need to go." His voice was unusually sharp and directed at Elizabeth.
"Okay. I'll talk to you in the morning." Elizabeth was surprised by his hasty exit then realized she shouldn't be. Jason didn't have much use for strangers and Daniel wasn't just any stranger.
The elevator doors seemed to take forever to close and Jason used the time to study the three people near the nurse's station that gave every illusion of being a family. Brenna on the man's hip taking great delight in anything she could get in her mouth. Elizabeth smiling in their direction, and Daniel laughing. It was a family. But Brenna was his daughter, and Elizabeth was his ... what? What was Elizabeth to him? Before he could figure it out the elevator doors finally closed.
Haunted Star
The table was exquisitely set, the candles were lit, and a single red rose rested on the table. The booth was cozily situated in the back to give it an aura of privacy. Elizabeth looked as beautiful as always, and smiled often. The conversation was easy and continuous as it flowed between them. The setting was perfect for romance only that wasn't what was going on at the table. Daniel was beginning to think that the romance between them was over, and that idea was something he couldn't bear to think about.
"I was really surprised to see you." Elizabeth admitted when she finally returned from speaking with Luke.
"Should I have called?"
"No. It was nice to see a friendly face. My reception was rather cool in town with most people, and even though I was expecting it, it was still difficult to take at times," she admitted.
"How did Jason take the news?"
"How would you take the news if your ex suddenly showed up back in town with a baby that you never knew about?" Elizabeth asked.
"That bad, huh?"
"Yes." She took a sip of her water and trailed a finger over the cool condensation on the goblet. "He has every right to be furious with me, and he is, only he's acting like usual and not letting it show. He has flashes of anger every now and then but mostly he buries it, and that means it will fester. If he would just yell or scream or curse me, I could handle it, but he withdraws instead and that's so much harder to deal with." Elizabeth realized she was speaking too much and changed the subject. "How did your meeting go?"
"Elizabeth," Daniel tugged on her hand until she looked at him. "Above everything else we're friends. You don't have to censor yourself with me. I asked, I want to know what's going on with you and how you feel."
"I don't how I feel," she whispered. "I hurt him and I did it deliberately and now I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to get back the friendship that once existed between us."
"Elizabeth?"
Startled she looked up at the man that had stopped by the table. When she recognized Jason she automatically pulled her hand free of Daniel's hold. "Jason what are you doing here?"
"I had a meeting." He had been dealing with Faith Roscoe, which always gave him a headache. Then he'd walked out of the back office to see Elizabeth dining with the man he'd met that afternoon. The sight of them together hadn't improved his mood any. "Where's Brenna?" He demanded abruptly.
"She's with Nikolas." Elizabeth saw the way his eyes flashed at that and knew he still had anger with Nikolas over his role in keeping Brenna a secret. "You said you were busy tonight and he is her godfather, and has been wanting to spend time with her." She tried to convey with her words that Nikolas was a part of Brenna's life so he better get used to it.
"I see," came his terse reply.
"Do you want me to call him and tell him that you will be coming to pick Brenna up?" She asked sharply. "Because I will."
Her words had the desired effect and he shook his head. "No I'll see her in the morning. Goodnight," he nodded at them both and walked away.
Upset Elizabeth tried to run a hand through her hair, and came up short when she hit a barrette. Frustrated she yanked it out and embraced the pain the move caused her. Jason could be most frustrating at times. "Sorry I'd like to say you caught him on a bad night, but he's like that with most people."
"Somehow I think it might be more extreme with me," Daniel corrected her. The brief but intense moment between Jason and Elizabeth just now, combined with the conversation he had eavesdropped on at the hospital for a time before making his presence known confirmed his darkest suspicions. "He's still in love with you, so he hates the fact that you're here dining with me instead of him."
Elizabeth couldn't have been more startled if he suddenly began to tap dance. "No he's not, he's mad at me. He's also angry that I left Brenna with Nikolas. They never got along very well and since he knows Nikolas helped me I'm sure it's even worse now."
"He's angry alright," Daniel agreed. "But he's also in love with you, it's an affliction I'm very well acquainted with so I recognize it when I see it in others."
"No," she still tried to deny. She might still love Jason but there was no way he could ever feel the same about her after what she had done to him.
Daniel could read the mixture of hope and denial in her eyes and his heart broke. "You're not going to marry me are you?"
Stunned by the soft question she took a minute to respond. "No." In that instant she realized that had she married him she would have done to him what Lucky had once tried to do to her. She would have married him because that was what he wanted and because he adored Brenna, but not because she was passionately in love with him. She did love him, he had helped her through many difficult times over the past year, but she wasn't in love with him. Seeing Jason again made her realize that. Daniel deserved better than the brand of love she could offer him.
"I didn't think so," he said sadly.
"I'm sorry."
"So am I," he admitted. "But you gave me something to strive for. I want to find a woman who looks at me the same way you look at Jason."
"I didn't mean to hurt you or lead you on." Unshed tears sparkled in her eyes turning them into sapphires. "I do love you."
"I know it's just not enough."
"Love, and only love is never enough." She admitted sadly.
"No you have to work your ass off too." He knew her mind wasn't on him at the moment.
"Are we still friends?" She held her breath awaiting his response.
"As long as you don't cook for me." Because they were friends he buried the hurt he felt for the moment to give her the peace she so desperately needed.
Elizabeth was amazed and relieved that she could laugh, that he could laugh, but laugh they did.
General Hospital
Jason strode quickly down the hall that led to the children's wing. Any thought a passing nurse or orderly had to stop him and remind him that visiting hours were over, vanished when they got a good look at his face. Most people are born with a sense of self-preservation, and in that instant they put it to good use and just let him pass by. He was about to open Michael's door when he stopped. He was too upset to be around a child.
Striving for calm he backed away from the door and tried to figure out what had set off his temper. He had been angry ever since Daniel had shown up earlier that afternoon. But there had to be more to it than that. Seeing Elizabeth dining with him in a set-up screaming romance bothered him, but only because he thought she would be with Brenna. Wasn't that why? Wasn't he angry because she wasn't with Brenna they way she was supposed to be? He couldn't be angry because he was jealous of Daniel. After all Brenna hadn't even been with them so how could he be jealous of the man who was bidding to be a father to his daughter when his daughter wasn't even around?
"What happened?" Sonny asked.
"Nothing I backed Faith off just like you wanted me too," Jason responded automatically.
"I don't care about Faith at the moment. I want to know what happened with Elizabeth to set you off."
"Since when do you wonder or care about Elizabeth and me?" Jason snapped.
Sonny felt the sting of his words and knew he deserved them. Although Jason had never come out and said anything he knew that he had contributed to their break up. At the time he hadn't cared, he'd been too busy trying to handle Carly and Brenda, and now all he could do was regret his callousness. He hadn't been there for Jason then, the best he could do was be there for him now. He didn't bother to offer an apology for his earlier behavior knowing it wouldn't be welcome. "Since she showed up here with your baby."
Jason was tempted to retort that it was too late then backed off, it wasn't Sonny's fault he was angry, so he shouldn't take it out on him. "I'm sorry."
"Don't do that." Sonny's tone was cutting. "Don't shut down with me. You need to let some of this anger out, and after all the times I went off on you I think I deserve to be the one you go off on now."
"I don't want to go off."
"Jason you're wound so tight you're ready to explode, trust me I can read the signs. How did you feel when you realized Brenna was yours?" Sonny pushed.
"Hurt," Jason cried. "I felt hurt and like I lost something. I lost time with her."
"With who? Elizabeth or the baby?" Sonny asked and when Jason glared at him he went on. "What else did you feel?"
"What the hell are you doing?" Jason wondered.
"Trying to help you for a change."
"I was angry I'm still angry and I can't let Elizabeth see how angry or she'll take the baby and leave. Of course she's going to do that anyway, they'll both be gone in less than 48 hours, or should I say all three of them will be gone, because I'm sure he'll go with them." The bitterness rolled out of Jason.
Sonny finally figured out what had set Jason off tonight. "I take it the he you're referring too is the guy who gave her the ring she's wearing?"
"That doesn't matter." Jason tried to withdraw knowing he'd said too much. "He doesn't matter Elizabeth can do whatever she wants, with whomever she wants." Even if it was some polished guy with expensive ties and too wide smile.
"The hell she can," Sonny snorted.
"What do you mean by that?"
"I mean you still love her."
"That would be stupid of me after everything she did," Jason tried to deflect Sonny's accurate observation.
"Stupid or not, you are, you probably have been the whole time she was gone." Sonny went on and couldn't help but feel a flash of pity for Courtney.
Jason wanted to deny the words but couldn't. After all wasn't that the same conclusion he'd reached a few days ago? "I just don't like the fact that he'll be with Brenna when I'm not."
"Was he with Brenna tonight?" Sonny went fishing for the truth.
"No he was with Elizabeth."
"You're this upset and the guy was with Elizabeth not your daughter. Are you trying to convince me you don't love her, or convince yourself?"
"How can love survive when there is nothing but lies and hurt between us?" Jason asked the question that had been haunting him.
Sonny merely shook his head. "You tell me. You saw me with Brenda. You knew she had destroyed me when she wore the wire, and yet I still couldn't stay away from her. I still yearned to be with her even though I was married to Lily. At that time I was still hurt, still angry and yet I needed her so much, I didn't think I would live without her. The question is, hurt or not, can you live without Elizabeth? Do you even want to try?"
Jason was quiet unsure of his answer.
"Have you even asked her to stay in town so you can work this out? Or did you behave like usual and give her no clue of what you want."
"She wants to leave," Jason explained. "I can't make her stay."
"What about what you want? Don't you think it's time you put your wants ahead of hers?"
Jason couldn't help but remember Elizabeth's words of the night before when she had basically accused him of never fighting for her. The question remained should he fight for his daughter or for Elizabeth as well?
"Jason you need to make up your mind, because time is running out."
Hardy House
Elizabeth closed the door with a sigh. The dinner had not turned out as she had expected. Daniel had been wonderful but she still felt bad for hurting him. It was a wonder she could stand given all the guilt she felt. Her words replayed his observations of the evening, observations about Jason.
Was he right? Did Jason still love her? Should she let herself dream that he did or would that only be setting herself up for a fall? And even if he did love her would that change anything between them or only cause them more pain? The tears began to slip from her eyes and she wasn't sure which loss of a dream she was crying for, the one with Daniel or the one with Jason.
Only one part remains so let me hear from you if you want to see the conclusion. Don't you love blackmail?