Chapter 5
Contemplations in the Dark
About twenty silent minutes had passed in the princess's room. Zelgadis slowly opened one eye and looked over towards Amelia's figure.
The moon was not out, so all he could do was guess that he was looking at Amelia until his eyes adjusted. Yes, those eyes. They were part demon just like the rest of him. Soon enough, he'd be able to see in the dark.
Amelia thought that he had fallen asleep, but he had no plans for sleeping tonight, at least not for very long. She was not safe just because he was in the room. Expert assassins are willing to give up their own life if they can complete their mission in the process. However, Zelgadis probably could not sleep right now even if he wanted to.
"Why does she have to keep prying into my mind? I don't need her comfort or her kind words," he thought to himself. "I'm not the weak kid that I used to be....yeah....that weak kid is what made me what I am now." He hated himself for that. He wanted to be stronger and he took the easy way out by jumping at his grandfather's offer of power. But what power did he have? He could not even heal himself of his own plague. Now he was just a monster, no matter what Amelia said.
Sure, she may accept him, but not the rest of the world. He was a freak of nature, and he made himself that way.
He hated what he had become mentally as well as his physical body. He knew that he was bitter and angry. "I've always been so cold to my closest friends. I can't help it. I've just become too obsessed with this curse." He also hated when he rationalized his behavior like that. Most of all, he despised how he realized his actions but never did anything to change them. "I can't be happy like this...not like this." Amelia's words were meant to comfort him, but they only fueled his rage. "I didn't deserve to hear her say that. She doesn't understand...everyone's always loved her. She doesn't know what it's like to have everyone hate you. Can't she just leave the entire subject alone? It always gets me thinking like this when someone brings it up. I'd be better off if no one mentioned it." Zel thought back to the time when he was dining with Lina, Gourry, and Amelia, and he told them that he was going to find the Claire Bible on his own in order to cure his body. Of course, they were not about to let him search by himself, and it was not long before Amelia interjected with a comment about how there was nothing wrong with him.
"But Mr. Zelgadis, you look so cool!"
He didn't sleep well that night either.
Amelia...
His eyes had adjusted to the darkness by now. He could make out fine details of the room. He saw Amelia curled up in her bed. She had her blanket pulled all the way over her shoulders and she was lying on her side. He could see her face. She seemed so peaceful. It made him happy to see that she was resting so well. And she was beautiful. No, not beautiful. That would be the word if there were a word for her. Beautiful was what came to his mind, but it didn't seem like enough. She was more than beautiful. Her soul shined through her, and something glorious seemed to rain about her. He could have looked at her face all night and that would have been enough. He would never think about such things while she was awake. He sometimes thought of her when he was alone, but he knew that he would only have his thoughts. He couldn't approach her like this. No one would stand for it, especially him. Still, he wished he knew what she thought about him. Was he more than a friend to her? Amelia rolled over and began to stir slightly. She mumbled quietly in her sleep.
"mmm...don't be silly, Zelgadis..."
He grinned slightly at this. He was indeed being silly. He didn't need to worry about these things right now. She was his friend, and she always would be. She may not have been able to convince him of his humanity, but she could cheer him up by just being her. Perhaps things will be better tomorrow. She won't bring up the subject any more and neither will he. But how long would he stay? He knew he could be here for quite a while, but he couldn't leave if he wasn't sure that Amelia was safe. The sort of trap that one wants to be in. Or at least, half-way wants to be in. For now, he just had to be sure to stay awake.
Zelgadis passed the night in silence, merely having his thoughts to keep his attention. Amelia never woke during the night, and she slept soundly. It wasn't until Zelgadis noticed something out of the corner of his eye that the monotony was broken. He had purposely left the curtains pulled so he could see out of the window, and his demonic eyes could defintely make out some form on a wall outside of Amelia's room. The wall that the figure stood on was about 40 feet away from the window, but Zel could see him easily. He was making sure that the area was clear around him so he could make his next move. He often looked towards the window to Amelia's room, as if expecting a trap of some sort. Well, no trap would wait for him. Zelgadis stood up and pulled his hood and mask up. He opened the window and stepped onto the balcony. The shadowy figure became motionless, and was totally fixated on Zelgadis. Zel stared directly at him, daring him to try something. The figure slowly crouched down, unsure if Zel was aware of his presence. Suddenly, he gave a swift motion in Zel's direction, and Zel heard a whisking noise in the air. And then a light clang. A dagger deflected off of Zel's chest and fell to the ground below him. He never flinched. The figure looked up in shock, with full knowledge that Zelgadis knew of his presence. Zel slowly raised his right hand out of his cape. He held his hand slightly out to his side and turned his palm up. A spell formed in it and he raised the other hand to slowly wave a sarcastic, parting farewell to the intruder. The figure raised his fist in anger and quickly disappeared. Zel released the spell and returned his hands to his sides. He silently walked back into the room and closed the window.
"So this is the assassin," he thought to himself as he took his seat again. The fact that he could teleport gave him the impression that the assassin was a mazoku, but if that were true then he would have used magic instead of a dagger. Well, regaurdless of what he was, Zel protected Amelia. Perhaps he could get at least a little sleep now. He saw her face again. She was still dreaming away as if nothing happened. It was best that way. He wouldn't mention anything of what happened. She deserved a break from this nightmare, so he just grinned at the fact that she was still sleeping soundly.
"Good night, Amelia. Good night..."
Contemplations in the Dark
About twenty silent minutes had passed in the princess's room. Zelgadis slowly opened one eye and looked over towards Amelia's figure.
The moon was not out, so all he could do was guess that he was looking at Amelia until his eyes adjusted. Yes, those eyes. They were part demon just like the rest of him. Soon enough, he'd be able to see in the dark.
Amelia thought that he had fallen asleep, but he had no plans for sleeping tonight, at least not for very long. She was not safe just because he was in the room. Expert assassins are willing to give up their own life if they can complete their mission in the process. However, Zelgadis probably could not sleep right now even if he wanted to.
"Why does she have to keep prying into my mind? I don't need her comfort or her kind words," he thought to himself. "I'm not the weak kid that I used to be....yeah....that weak kid is what made me what I am now." He hated himself for that. He wanted to be stronger and he took the easy way out by jumping at his grandfather's offer of power. But what power did he have? He could not even heal himself of his own plague. Now he was just a monster, no matter what Amelia said.
Sure, she may accept him, but not the rest of the world. He was a freak of nature, and he made himself that way.
He hated what he had become mentally as well as his physical body. He knew that he was bitter and angry. "I've always been so cold to my closest friends. I can't help it. I've just become too obsessed with this curse." He also hated when he rationalized his behavior like that. Most of all, he despised how he realized his actions but never did anything to change them. "I can't be happy like this...not like this." Amelia's words were meant to comfort him, but they only fueled his rage. "I didn't deserve to hear her say that. She doesn't understand...everyone's always loved her. She doesn't know what it's like to have everyone hate you. Can't she just leave the entire subject alone? It always gets me thinking like this when someone brings it up. I'd be better off if no one mentioned it." Zel thought back to the time when he was dining with Lina, Gourry, and Amelia, and he told them that he was going to find the Claire Bible on his own in order to cure his body. Of course, they were not about to let him search by himself, and it was not long before Amelia interjected with a comment about how there was nothing wrong with him.
"But Mr. Zelgadis, you look so cool!"
He didn't sleep well that night either.
Amelia...
His eyes had adjusted to the darkness by now. He could make out fine details of the room. He saw Amelia curled up in her bed. She had her blanket pulled all the way over her shoulders and she was lying on her side. He could see her face. She seemed so peaceful. It made him happy to see that she was resting so well. And she was beautiful. No, not beautiful. That would be the word if there were a word for her. Beautiful was what came to his mind, but it didn't seem like enough. She was more than beautiful. Her soul shined through her, and something glorious seemed to rain about her. He could have looked at her face all night and that would have been enough. He would never think about such things while she was awake. He sometimes thought of her when he was alone, but he knew that he would only have his thoughts. He couldn't approach her like this. No one would stand for it, especially him. Still, he wished he knew what she thought about him. Was he more than a friend to her? Amelia rolled over and began to stir slightly. She mumbled quietly in her sleep.
"mmm...don't be silly, Zelgadis..."
He grinned slightly at this. He was indeed being silly. He didn't need to worry about these things right now. She was his friend, and she always would be. She may not have been able to convince him of his humanity, but she could cheer him up by just being her. Perhaps things will be better tomorrow. She won't bring up the subject any more and neither will he. But how long would he stay? He knew he could be here for quite a while, but he couldn't leave if he wasn't sure that Amelia was safe. The sort of trap that one wants to be in. Or at least, half-way wants to be in. For now, he just had to be sure to stay awake.
Zelgadis passed the night in silence, merely having his thoughts to keep his attention. Amelia never woke during the night, and she slept soundly. It wasn't until Zelgadis noticed something out of the corner of his eye that the monotony was broken. He had purposely left the curtains pulled so he could see out of the window, and his demonic eyes could defintely make out some form on a wall outside of Amelia's room. The wall that the figure stood on was about 40 feet away from the window, but Zel could see him easily. He was making sure that the area was clear around him so he could make his next move. He often looked towards the window to Amelia's room, as if expecting a trap of some sort. Well, no trap would wait for him. Zelgadis stood up and pulled his hood and mask up. He opened the window and stepped onto the balcony. The shadowy figure became motionless, and was totally fixated on Zelgadis. Zel stared directly at him, daring him to try something. The figure slowly crouched down, unsure if Zel was aware of his presence. Suddenly, he gave a swift motion in Zel's direction, and Zel heard a whisking noise in the air. And then a light clang. A dagger deflected off of Zel's chest and fell to the ground below him. He never flinched. The figure looked up in shock, with full knowledge that Zelgadis knew of his presence. Zel slowly raised his right hand out of his cape. He held his hand slightly out to his side and turned his palm up. A spell formed in it and he raised the other hand to slowly wave a sarcastic, parting farewell to the intruder. The figure raised his fist in anger and quickly disappeared. Zel released the spell and returned his hands to his sides. He silently walked back into the room and closed the window.
"So this is the assassin," he thought to himself as he took his seat again. The fact that he could teleport gave him the impression that the assassin was a mazoku, but if that were true then he would have used magic instead of a dagger. Well, regaurdless of what he was, Zel protected Amelia. Perhaps he could get at least a little sleep now. He saw her face again. She was still dreaming away as if nothing happened. It was best that way. He wouldn't mention anything of what happened. She deserved a break from this nightmare, so he just grinned at the fact that she was still sleeping soundly.
"Good night, Amelia. Good night..."