The Taming of the Brats

Summary: Ginny declares that she won't date any more guys until Hermione does after a recent horrible, heartbreaking break-up of hers. Hermione is a huge loser who will never get a date. This means trouble for boys like Draco Malfoy who want to date Ginny with the burning passion of a thousand winds. Do you smell some juicy deals wafting our way? I do! I do! Read this story full of drugs, alcohol, and stupid dumbasses. Based on as many Shakespearean plays as I can think of but mostly the little bit I know of The Taming of the Shrew. It's also kind of based on 10 Things I Hate About You which is based on The Taming of the Shrew so that would make sense, wouldn't it...

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of these characters or candies I mention. The main storyline is based on Shakespearean plays.

Chapter Five

Harry spun around and raced as fast as his legs could carry him back down to the common room. He didn't care about pot or relaxing or feeling good and he didn't even care that he was going on a date with the girl he hated most in the world the day after tomorrow. All he cared about was leaving that hallway immediately and getting that horrifying image of his best friend and his worst enemy making-out out of his mind forever.

Ron walked back to the common room after his midnight meeting with Malfoy feeling satisfied. He felt as though it had gone extremely well. He even felt like Malfoy had been kissing him back! What a wonderful feeling...

The first thing he saw when he crawled through the portrait hole was Hermione sitting at a large chair beside the fire, going over her Potions homework.

Shit, he thought, remembering his promise to Malfoy. I have to ask her to go to Hogsmeade with me the day after tomorrow! If I just ignore my promise I know he'll get me back in the worst way possible...

"Hermione," he said nervously, walking slowly toward her chair.

She looked up and slid her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

"Oh, hi, Ron," she said, gazing up at him. "What's up?

"I was...um..." Ron stammered. He didn't want to say this. Why the hell would he agree to such torture?

Because you got to make out with your crush, dumbass, he reminded himself.

"IwantedtoaskyououtonadateatHogsmeade," he spat out quickly.

"What?" Hermione asked, her voice high-pitched. "If I heard you correctly, you were asking me out on a date at Hogsmeade. But I might not have heard you correctly because you were speaking so quickly."

"No, uh, you heard me correctly," Ron answered unhappily.

Hermione laughed and snorted before crying, "Of COURSE I would! It's not everyday a girl gets asked out on a date, you know! Wow, this is so cool!"

Ron pretended to laugh and then turned glumly and went up to his dorm to go to sleep. He fell on his bed and slipped into a deep, depressed slumber in seconds without even changing his clothes or brushing his teeth.

Harry woke up the next morning and immediately knew exactly what he had to do: ask out Hermione.

But first, he had to ignore Ron at all costs. If he even did so much as glance at him horrible images would enter his mind and he would vomit up the contents of his stomach.

He got dressed as quickly as possible and zipped to the dining hall. When he reached it he found Hermione sitting at a table, reading a book, there early as usual.

"Hey, Hermione," he said, trying to disguise his voice to sound happy.

"Hello there, Harry," Hermione said after briefly glancing up at him. "Why are you down here so early?

"Well, truthfully, Hermione, I wanted to ask you something," he answered seriously. He was actually kind of mocking what he had to do and making it sound heartfelt.

Hermione looked up and put her book down.

"What is it, Harry?" she asked, taking him seriously.

"Hermione, I wanted to ask you if you'd go to Hogsmeade with me on Saturday," Harry replied, trying to make his eyes look full to the brim with emotion.

What? Hermione thought, hearing Harry's question. Now Harry is asking me out? This couldn't be serious. But it was! Two boys really did like me! I'm so lucky! I can't believe this at all... I feel so special... So loved!

"Of course I will, Harry!" Hermione squealed, beaming with joy.

"Oh, yay!" Harry cried, bouncing in his chair sarcastically.

"Weasley!" Draco shouted, dragging Ron into a side hallway during lunch the next day. "Tomorrow's Hogsmeade, have you gotten a date, yet?

"Yes," Ron replied.

"Very good," Draco said, walking away without another word.

Ron felt kind of stupid. He'd been so convinced that Draco liked him... And now he was just talking to him quickly and then walking away as fast as he could. Did what happened two nights ago not even mean a thing to him? Did he have no heart, no feelings? What was inside that pale shell? Whatever it was, Ron was going to find it out... And find it soon.

"Hey Harry," Seamus said to Harry in the common room that evening. "You asked Hermione out yet?

"Yup," Harry said, smiling as he remembered the funniness of when he asked her out. "It was hilarious. I was pretending to be all emotional and shit, and she-

"That's great," Seamus replied, not paying attention to him. "Now, make sure she knows where and when to meet you, savvy? Okay, I'll see you tomorrow- before the big day." Seamus winked and strolled off.

Harry found Hermione doing homework by the fire. She did that every freaking night. What a loser.

"Hermione," he said, getting her attention. "I'll meet you at the Three Broomsticks at one tomorrow, okay?

Hermione nodded, smiling.

It took Harry all the strength he could muster to stop from laughing hysterically.

Meanwhile, over in the Slytherin common room, Draco was sitting darkly in a corner, trying hard to ignore the people who were making desperate attempts to talk with his Royal Popularity. Sometimes it was so difficult being king.

He was thinking to himself and inwardly cursing hormones and the irritating things they did to you. He was a sixteen-year-old boy; he should be picturing girls naked every time he talked to them, not wondering about his make-out session with a boy who had a crush on him. The worst thing was that he actually kind of enjoyed it.

But no, he couldn't be gay! He was the one who mocked gay people and made fun of Ron Weasley when he heard his little secret.

But, he also wanted to date Ginny. He thought she was so hot and so sexy- he definitely pictured her naked frequently.

Okay, so maybe he was bisexual. That wasn't as bad. Because he could always just date women and hide the other half of his sexuality from the public.

Or maybe this was just a little hormonal mess-up, or something. Maybe this really didn't mean a thing and he really wasn't bisexual or gay, he was just straight! Straight as a board.

Yes, yes, I like that idea, he thought, satisfied.

The next day it was time for Hogsmeade! Possibly the only two people who weren't excited were Harry and Ron, for they had arranged their dates with Hermione.

Ron and Hermione had agreed to meet at Honeydukes at eleven to start their date off with some candy buying.

"Ready to stock up on candy, Hermione?" Ron asked her as they strolled through the town. He tried his best to look at this from an optimistic standpoint. Maybe he could pretend to break his foot or something halfway through and he wouldn't have to be with her anymore. Or maybe she had something else she had to do that would take her away from him.

Well, one can hope.

"So, what kind of candy do you want?" Ron asked, staring at the heaps of candy piled upon the shelves.

"I don't know- I like them all," Hermione answered with a giggle.

She has a cute giggle, Ron thought. WHAT THE HELL? Shut up, Ron!

"Well, I love Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans," Ron said, taking a box off a shelf.

"I don't like those so much," Hermione said, wrinkling her nose. "I think I got a pepper-flavored one, one time. It was horrible."

Ron laughed and noticed how cute her nose looked wrinkled.

Stop thinking these things! You're supposed to be gay! He scolded himself.

The date continued at the same pace. Ron was slightly falling for Hermione. But how? And every time he started thinking about Draco, he started getting angry or thinking about how mean he used to be to his friends.

God, hormones can really fuck up your life.

"Oh, gosh!" Hermione suddenly exclaimed, looking at her watch two hours later. "I'm supposed to be meeting Harry at the Three Broomsticks right now!"

Crap, she suddenly realized. Why did I say that out loud? Now Ron knows I had a date with someone else! He's going to be so sad. And this date was going so well!

But Ron just laughed. "Sorry, I thought you said you were going on a date with Harry. I must have misheard you," Ron responded.

"Ron, I'm really sorry," Hermione exclaimed, holding Ron's hand tenderly. "This date was going so well but unfortunately I have to see Harry. I hope you don't take this the wrong way. You don't have to disguise your feelings with laughter. You can tell me how you feel."

Ron continued laughing and managed to blurt out, "No, Hermione, I'm serious. Harry hates you! I don't know why he would ever ask you out."

"What?" Hermione asked, taken aback. "Harry hates me? But he asked me so genuinely to go out with him. I think you are mistaken, Ron. Harry definitely has feelings for me.

"Yeah, hatred," Ron replied, rolling his eyes. "Look, I bet it was a bet or something. I mean, that's why I went out with you. That's the only way any guy would go out with you-"

"What?!" Hermione cried. She felt as though her heart had just been ripped out of her chest, still beating. This couldn't be true! THE DATE WAS GOING SO WELL! "You- you- you lying, cheating- BASTARD!" she whispered harshly, not wanting anyone to know that she'd cursed.

"No!" Ron shouted, realizing that Hermione had taken what he said completely the wrong way. "You don't understand, Hermione! That's how I felt before, but now I realize that taking that bet was extremely smart of me!"

"I don't want to hear your excuses, your lies!" Hermione spat at him. Tears were pouring down her face. She angrily stormed out of the shop they were in, causing many turned heads and raised eyebrows. But she didn't care because the one boy she liked had lied to her. Her perfect date was nothing but a joke, a bet.

Who could have done this? She thought angrily, storming down the streets of Hogsmeade. Suddenly realization came over her like a tidal wave.

Ginny couldn't date until she could.

Someone made Ron date her in exchange for something he wanted.

Then they could date Ginny.

It was foolproof.

Until now.

A/N: I hope you all liked the chapter. Sorry I haven't written in a while. Please review it and give me ideas on what should happen. I feel like this story can only have one or two more chapters and that wouldn't be very fun for the readers. So, if you have any ideas, please email or IM me (email: sailorscout467hotmail.com or bumble472aol.com AIM: c A n a DA x eH) and I'll give you credit!

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