Disclaimer: I don't own the characters and the main storyline is based on Shakespearean plays.

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Chapter Seven

Hermione yanked open the drawers of Parvati Patil's dresser and began tossing things aside, looking for the best outfit. There was a very short pink shirt that was very off the shoulder. No, that wouldn't do. There was a purple sports bra. No, it wasn't slutty enough. Then she found a gray tank top. Ew, very ugly.

Finally, Hermione's eyes rested upon a very simple top. It was just a plain black tube top, but yet it said so much. Obviously she couldn't wear it to classes since it wasn't part of the uniform, but she could wear it everywhere else!

Now, the next step was to find a bottom. Either really tight pants or a miniskirt would have to work. Wait a minute. A mini skirt. A really mini skirt. A really, really mini skirt. A tube top. A very small tube top. A very, very small tube top.

Tube tops can work as miniskirts.

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Ginny stormed back to the school in a rage. She could practically feel smoke billowing out through her ears and she thought she might explode any minute now. What the hell did those guys think they were doing? And to poor Hermione, also?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THEM!?!?!?!

She may think Hermione is the most annoying person on the face of this earth, but that gives them no right to trick her into thinking that boys like her.

She had to do something about this. And she knew just what this was.

Good-bye sex goddess hottie that all boys want to date.

Hello ugly nerd who wouldn't be able to dress herself if her life depended on it.

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"Nice job, Malfoy!" Seamus spat in Draco's face as they watched Ginny storm off into the distance. "Now she'll never date anyone no matter who dates Hermione!

"Oh, so this is all my fault?!" Draco retorted, his face burning with rage. "It makes perfect sense. We both do the same thing but yet you blame it all on ME!

"Exactly, Draco," Seamus explained. "If you hadn't shoved your bony ass into this whole thing we'd be fighting over who would get to date her now that Hermione had a date. But no, you had to try and do it for yourself. Thanks to you, she wouldn't fuck us if we were the last two people on the face of this earth and we had to recreate the human population!!!!

"That made no sense whatsoever, Finnegan," Draco said boredly. "Whatever, I still think you're an asshole!

"What the fuck, Draco?" Seamus argued. "I was trying to tell you that you didn't have to do any work and instead we could just argue with each other about who'd get the girl, but of course not!

"You're so dumb, Finnegan! Get a freaking brain, for Christ's sake!

"Well at least my mom isn't anorexic!

"Well at least my mom isn't the offspring of a pig, horse, and cow!

"Don't you ever diss my mother," Seamus suddenly said quietly and seriously. Then, without hesitation, he flung his arm out and punched Draco right across the face, causing blood to fly everywhere, spewing out of Draco's pointed nose.

"What the hell, Finnegan?" Draco cried, wiping his nose and staring at the deep red blood. "You dissed my mom first, you moron!

"Well I don't give a flying fuck!" Seamus replied, attempting to throw another punch. But Draco was too quick. He caught Seamus's arm in midair and punched him back.

"Fuck you, bastard!" Seamus shouted.

At this point, a crowd had gathered around the two immature boys.

"Fight, fight, fight, fight!" people were chanting. Among the crowd were Ron and Harry.

"Whoa, what's going on?" Ron asked Harry.

"I have no idea," Harry answered. "I was just sitting in the Three Broomsticks waiting for Hermione when I suddenly heard a lot of shouting.

"Oh yea," Ron said, suddenly remembering about Hermione and Harry's mysterious date. "That is something just as strange as this sudden fight, why the hell would you go out on a date with Hermione Granger? Was it a bet?

"Yeah," Harry responded. "Seamus gave me some mad awesome weed in exchange for it. How'd you hear about our date?

"Well, Hermione told me during our date," Ron told Harry, raising his eyebrows.

"Seriously!?" Harry asked, surprised. "Who made you do it? And what'd they give you.

"You promise not to tell anyone?" Ron said, a little bit reluctant to tell Harry his big secret.

Harry shrugged and said, "Who would I tell?

"No one, I guess," Ron replied. "Okay, so I'll tell you. Remember that time that Seamus and I were talking about someone named ÔYou-Know-Who'? Well, that was a codename for Malfoy and truthfully, I have a little bit of a crush on him. Actually, I don't really think I do anymore. But I did. And Draco decided that he'd make out with me if I asked Hermione out.

"Whoa, man," Harry replied, stunned. "And you didn't tell me that? Jesus, that's crazy. You liking Malfoy? That's just... Wrong... But, whatever floats your boat, man.

The two boys were too busy wallowing in their own conversation to notice Lavender and Parvati listening to their conversation intently.

"So no one really has a crush on You-Know-Who?" Lavender asked, upset. "Oh damn, we lost one of our gossip topics.

"Not completely," Parvati replied reassuringly. "We just found out that Ron Weasley's gay.

"Oh yea!" Lavender squealed. "But he said he didn't like Malfoy anymore.

"When have we ever told the whole truth before?" Parvati inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, good point," Lavender answered.

Meanwhile, Draco and Seamus were still duking it out when finally Draco, who had toppled to the ground a few moments before, just reached up with bloody vision and aimlessly grabbed Seamus's balls and twisted them around as hard as he could. He didn't give a crap, he wanted to cause this fuck as much pain as he possibly could.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Seamus screamed at the top of his lungs. He fell to the ground, clutching his goods that were probably no longer good and wouldn't be for quite sometime.

Draco would have laughed silently to himself, but for now he was way too beaten up. He was barely even conscious.

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Ginny stumbled wearily up the staircase to the girls' dormitories. She wasn't paying attention, so she accidentally went into the sixth year girls' room and her eyes fell upon a strange girl she had never seen before. This girl was wearing a tiny black skirt that could pass as a belt, a little white shirt that Ginny thought at first was a bra, and she was wearing so much makeup she was virtually unrecognizable.

This was the reason that Ginny didn't realize until right then that she was staring right at Hermione and the only reason how she did realize who it was, was that she recognized her frizzy hair.

What the hell had Hermione done to herself?!?!

"Her-Hermione?" Ginny stammered, surprised beyond belief.

"That's me," Hermione replied smugly, folding her arms slightly self-consciously across her almost bare chest.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God," Ginny said, her jaw practically hitting the floor.

Hermione smiled, satisfied. Her work was done and it had been done properly.

When Ginny had finally recovered moments later, she asked Hermione if she could borrow some of her clothes.

It was a deal.

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A/N: That was the last chapter! I'm going to make an epilogue but I don't really have the time to continue this story so I'm just going to write out quickly what happened in the next chapter without like actually describing it. I hope you guys don't mind too much! And I don't think there were very many fans for this story, anyway, so hopefully I won't be letting too many people down.

But please R&R and I'll write more stories soon! I have some ideas...