The POTO Characters Go . . . UNDERWEAR SHOPPING! Ch. 2 By Shekiah and Alunaer
DISCLAIMER: See previous chapter. We are far too lazy to come up with a new disclaimer.
(To continue from where we left off, back in the ERIKMOBILE!!!)
Raoul begins to turn a green that looked like it might even beat Erik's.
"I get carsick," Raoul murmured, opening the window a crack. Erik sighed loudly.
"Fop, there is NO WAY you are going to hurl in my brand new car," he said smoothly with an undertone of menace. Raoul immediately opened the window. Christine, who had been sitting by him, squirmed closer to Erik, who seemed to be enjoying the fop's unfortunate bout of motion sickness immensely but dreading the image of barf covering his precious Erikmobile (you must remember that there is no 'Retching Room' here).
Raoul, at the mention of barf, turned even greener and opened the window all the way down. Unfortunately, this was an extremely unwise decision, as an open garbage truck splattered its disgusting contents in his face. Raoul hastily leaned back in. A horrible smell was leaking from him into the lush upholstery. If you could see his face beneath the squashed debris, you would see him fighting for control of his partially digested lunch. But it was a losing battle for the fop . . .
"BLAAAAAAAAAAAARPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!"
In his haste, he forgot to lean out the window. Unfortunately, he barfed all over himself, the chair, the six seatbelts he was chained—I mean, buckled in with . . . and Christine.
Erik quickly shoved the fop further away, debating the pros and cons of the situation, which we will now list here for your entertainment.
"PROS:
I get to hold Christine.
The fop is not in any condition to stop me!
Neither is anyone else!!!"
"CONS:
Christine is covered in . . . I really don't want to know.
What I really don't want to know is getting all over ME.
Christine is twitching and both her eyes are ticking oddly.
I think whatever she's covered in is dyeing her hair green.
She looks like she's about to do murder.
To lend her my Punjab lasso, or not to lend her my Punjab lasso?
That is the question."
Now back to our originally scheduled program.
Christine was doing her best to act mature and her age, but this is rather difficult when your childhood friend has just barfed up half their 35-foot swimming pool and ten McDonald's hamburgers and McFlurry's. She was sure that the chlorine was turning her hair green, and who knows what goes into McDonald's hamburgers?
Finally, the last little thread in Christine's sanity gave away with a sharp 'SNAP!'
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" she roared, sprouting claws and fangs and diving at Raoul. The next few minutes were rated NC-17 for gore and further destruction of 'My Little Pony' underwear.
Finally, everyone else came to their senses and attempted to hold her back. It took all their strength and the addition of a Punjab lasso around the shoulders to restrain the approximately 5' tall insane chorus girl from eating Raoul alive (Believe me, Alunaer is five feet tall and in the school chorus . . . and when midget chorus girls go insane, it is NOT a pretty picture).
Finally, Christine's sanity had mended enough for them to buckle her down with more seatbelts than you would care to be buckled in with. But when the smell inside the car became unbearable, they dropped Christine off at a nearby motel to wash up and then headed to the carwash right next door. Since no Raoul-lovers are reading this mega-Raoul-bashing fic (hopefully), we let the characters lash him to the hood of the Erikmobile with king cobras and drive through the carwash. Raoul came out half drowned and the snakes dead from his foppishness (they were Alu's personal pets, so she hurt him badly after this chapter was over). We decided not to kill him now solely for the purpose of torturing him further (audience groans).
Will Erik survive the rest of the trip being trapped in his car with the fop? Will Christine calm down enough to forgive Raoul (heaven forbid . . . )? Find out in the next chapter!
Alu: Sorry for the short chapter! But this was a perfect place to stop . . .
Shekiah: Yeah. But the next chapter will probably make up for it.
Alu: And look at our other fic, 'Erik, Dark Link, Us, and the Caffeine'!
Shekiah: And if you are confused about its beginning, look at 'Alu's Quest for Shekiah's Perfect Birthday Present'!
Raoul: (waltzes in)
Alu: (eyes turn red) RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Raoul: Eep! (runs)
Alu: GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAARRRRR! (chases him and bites his neck)
(15 Minutes Later)
Alu: (rises up from his half-dead body with dried blood crusted all over her lips) Mmmmmmm . . .
Raoul: Cough . . . cough . . .
Alu: (grins at him with reddened teeth) Told you so-oooooo!