Shekiah: Welcome back to 'The POTO Characters Go . . . UNDERWEAR SHOPPING!'
Alu: Have you noticed that all our Phantom Phics involve Erik underwear- humor?
Shekiah: Yeah. gets insane look in eyes
Alu: laughs evilly
Shekiah: The chapter you've all been waiting for . . . THE UNDIE MAX ARRIVAL!!!
. . . Chapter Three . . .
We rejoin our heroes in the Erik-mobile, fighting to survive what remains of the 3.24 miles. There had been many hot-pink signs along the way: 3.24 miles to the UNDIE MAX, then, 3.14 miles to the UNDIE MAX, and so on and so forth. Raoul is now allowed back in the car, sitting near the window, now with a complimentary barf bag in his lap. Christine is still being restrained by about sixteen seatbelts.
Let's listen in, shall we?
"Are we there yet?" Raoul whined loudly. Everyone chose to ignore him.
"Are we there yet?"
"Are we there yet?"
"Yes, we are!" Erik finally shouted.
"Really?!"
"No."
Five Minutes Later . . .
"Are we there yet?"
"Are we there yet?"
Christine sighed loudly, and everyone else groaned. Erik counted to ten slowly to account for every last ounce of sanity he had before responding.
"Remember that little deal we had? You were to be completely quiet, not a word, not a sound, until we finally get to the store?" Erik's smile was a little too wide, and seemed to be more for the purpose of baring fang-like teeth.
"Are we there yet?"
Erik's brain had finally had all he could take. A snapping sound was heard, and suddenly he rounded on the fop, who cowered in the corner.
"I HAVE HAD IT, FOP, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE STRAPPED TO THE ROOF FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE RIDE, YOU ARE NOT TO MOVE, MAKE A SOUND; YOU ARE NOT TO EVEN BREATHE UNTIL WE GET TO THE GODFORSAKEN PLACE! Got it?"
Raoul nodded, staring up at Erik, his eyes as wide as dinner plates. He nodded slowly. Everyone in the car was silent for the next few minutes as Erik calmed back down. Suddenly, everyone noticed Raoul's face changing shade, from it's original color to red, then a pale purple, and finally blue! Erik realized what was going on.
"Oh my . . . you can BREATHE, fop, just don't annoy us!" he shouted. Raoul finally inhaled, gasping loudly.
"Better he turn blue than green," Erik whispered barely audibly to Christine, who laughed. Finally, Philippe, the voice of reason, spoke up.
"Wow, this is a long 3.24 miles," he commented. Everyone else suddenly looked up. They had been so wrapped up in Raoul's carsickness and the battle of wits he and Erik had just competed in to notice that they had been in the car for almost an hour.
"You're right . . . " Erik replied slowly. "This car is supposed to be ultra-fast!"
"Wonder what's going on?" Nadir asked out loud. (Wow, was he here in the beginning? Oh yeah! I remember something about that . . . )
"Probably another nasty trick from the authoresses," sighed Christine. "This stinks!"
"Hey!" shouted Philippe. "We're here!"
"Hey, you're right!"
Everyone realized this as suddenly as it was mentioned, and stepped out of the car. They gasped at what lie ahead of them.
"It's . . . Beautiful . . . " Christine whispered in awe. And indeed, it was.
An enormous hot-pink neon sign hung above a gigantic white stucco warehouse. The parking lot, like the building and seeming everything else in sight, was vast. The sign read:
'Welcome to . . . THE UNDIE MAX!'
The white building was plain, all except for the front. There were long glass window extending on either side of (you guessed it) BIG metal double doors, which were painted hot pink to match the neon sign.
The windows displayed some examples of what you could buy at the warehouse. Everything from frilly lingerie to plaid boxers. You name it, it was there. The group stood in awe for a few minutes before Philippe finally came to his senses.
"Well," he said. "Let's go on in."