Disclaimer: All of this belongs to JK Rowling. The lyrics are from the Dixie Chicks.
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live Albus Dumbledore SS12
Part One
Not a night goes by, I don't dream of wandering, through the home that might have been.
He was back. It was always the same house. A tidy little cottage, littered with signs that a child lived there, determined to undermine the order. A toy broomstick discarded on the floor, magical blocks scattered in front of the fire. The woman was gently rocking in the chair by the fire. She was singing a lullaby. He must have arrived just in time to put the little one down for a nap.
The singing stopped and the woman rose from the chair and started down the short hallway to the nursery. He followed her, watching her coppery hair sway across her back as she walked. She was petite, but strong. She had no trouble lifting the young child into its crib. She touched her fingers to her lips and then gently brushed the child's forehead. "Sleep well, little one," she said. She turned to leave the room ....
"Harry! Are you there mate?" A freckled face with red hair glimmered in the fireplace. "There you are."
Ron Weasley unfolded his long frame from out of the fire and walked across the room. Harry Potter had been dozing on the sofa listening to a Quidditch game on the Wizard Wireless. Ron leaned over and nudged his long time friend. Harry sat up with a start and adjusted his classes.
"Oh, hello, Ron. How's Hermione doing?" Harry asked, trying to shake himself awake from the dream he'd been having. Maybe some Quidditch talk could help him shake the cobwebs loose from his brain.
"Well, that's what I'm here about."Ron replied, as he began talking rapidly. "The baby's on its way, and I wondered if you could come over to watch Emily."
"Sure, of course, "Harry said quickly, getting up off the couch. "Just let me get some things together." Harry started to walk to the loo to get his shaving kit. If he remembered anything about when Emily was born, Harry was going to be camping out at Ron and Hermione's overnight. "But hey," he asked, pausing in doorway, "won't your mum be upset at being left out? I thought she took it as some kind of personal quest to mind the grandchildren as each new one was brought into the world."
"She's supposed to be the one to come over, but Mum and Dad are still over in Paris helping Bill and Fleur get settled in their new flat. They were planning on being back in time, but it's early, and Hermione says it's time to go to St. Mungo's." Ron replied. "So are you coming or not?"
Harry snorted. "Hold on to your broomstick, Ron. What do you mean it's early? It's the middle of the afternoon. It's no big deal. I can read Emily a story and give her a snack.." She's only a two year old, he thought to himself. Besides, they'd trusted him to mind the little tyke before. .. Hey, I thought Hermione wasn't due 'til next month?"
"She's not!"Ron replied, throwing his arms up in exasperation. "That's what I'm trying to tell you. It's six weeks early, Mum's on the bloody Continent, and you know we don't leave Emily alone with the muggle family members since the darling accidentally blew out the Granger's telly when those tubby things went off the screen. That leaves you, Sir Godfather. Listen, I need to be getting back to Hermione. Can I count on you to be right behind me?"
Harry looked at Ron. His best friend's forehead was lined with worry, showing his concern that things were not supposed to be happening this early. Ron's blue eyes, usually sparkling with mirth, were pleading with Harry to hurry. "Just let me get my bag. I guess I should feel honored to be third on the list."
"Are you kidding?"Ron asked as he stepped back into the fireplace. Taking some floo powder from the crock on the hearth, he added, "I know Angelina and Katie are swell, but if I left Emily with the twins, they'd have her in so much trouble, she be banned from owning a wand before we ever got to take to her to Olivander's. Hermione'd kill me! See you at our place. AVONLEA!" and Ron disappeared in the familiar burst of green flame.
Harry smiled to himself as he walked back to his room to get some robes and his shaving kit. Ron was a great dad and husband. Harry's heart went out to his friend. He spent a lot of time at Avonlea and knew that Ron was immensely proud of his little family. Hermione had surprised everyone by agreeing to a simple summer wedding, a mere two weeks after they finished Hogwarts. It seemed that everyone was rushing get to get on with life with Voldemort gone. The newlyweds had announced they were expecting at a family dinner to send Ginny off for her final year at school. Emily had been born before the couple had been married a year.
Now, with the second baby on the way, Hermione didn't seemed phased by the twins' gibes about trying to keep up the Weasley tradition of large families. Things weren't going as planned, though, and Harry had to think that was going to be hard on his order- loving friend.
"Well, better get over there, before she comes to fetch me herself," Harry muttered. He took his wand from his pocket, focused on Ron and Hermione's flat, and disapparated..
Four years ago...
I mistook the warnings for wisdom, from so-called friends, quick to advise. Now your touch is telling me otherwise.
"Ugh, they're disgusting! Really, Harry, I don't know how you stand being around them. Do they ever do anything but snog?" Ginny Weasley threw her bag down on the floor and plopped into the chair next to it. She had just returned from potions, every Griffindor's favorite class, and was none to pleased to be faced with the two love birds in the corner.
Harry turned from the scroll he had been working on and looked over to the table in the corner of the common room. Hermione had her customary stack of books piled around her, but it looked as if Ron had once again managed to distract her from her studies. He had his arm around her and was fiddling with the curls that had come loose from the clip she had used to keep her hair from falling into her face. His other hand was on Hermione's and they were gazing into each other's eyes and talking. Both had a silly grin plastered on their face.
"Don't worry," Harry assured Ginny. "Soon enough, Hermione will realize all the time she's been wasting that could have been spent reviewing for our NEWTS. Then we'll see a row to rival the old days." Harry shook his head at the memory... memories, to be more precise, of the infamous rows between his two best friends. It had been a relief to have them finally admit that they had feelings for each other. It kept Harry from being the peacekeeper and go between. Once the new couple had finally decided to let Harry in on what he had already known for some time, things had settled. Nothing had changed all that much. Head Girl Hermione was still the organized bookworm, always nagging Harry and Ron about marks and deadlines. Ron somehow managed to keep the slightly neurotic Hermione and Harry sane, insisting that in spite everything, it was after all, their seventh year, and a chance to have a little fun.
"Well, they could at least try to keep the drool to a minimum," Ginny grumbled, pulling her long red hair into a ponytail. "So, how are you, Harry?" she said turning to him. "With all your extra classes, I only get to see you at Quidditch practice, and at the Shack."
"Busy. I've been looking over some new strategy Ron and I were brewing up for the match against Ravenclaw. It'll take some extra practice, but it just might work. Their new line of chasers is pretty strong."
"And what am I, a flobberworm?" Ginny asked, jumping up and feigning a hurt look in her eyes. "Let me see those plans." She pushed Harry aside on the sofa so she could sit down next to him to look at the scolls. "Hmm, so you're thinking that I'll take this side, Dean will take the other leaving Dennis open to... Harry! It's bloody brilliant! Let us practice it tomorrow. I'm sure the three of us can make it work."
"Such language!"Harry teased. "Be careful, or your mother's liable to send a howler with a bar of soap. I'm sure she didn't raise you to speak that way."
"Sod off, Harry," Ginny retorted, playfully slugging him in the shoulder. " If you only heard half of what I've heard my mother say... There was this one time, when I was sneaking in the kitchen, trying to sneak some scones. Mum came bustling in all worked up about something the twins had done. I hid in the cupboard so she wouldn't catch me. Boy, oh boy. If you think Ron had a filthy mouth, some of the things she said under her breath would make Charlie blush."
Harry laughed, remembering Molly Weasley and the few times he'd seen her lost for words. Maybe she wasn't lost, just censoring?
Ginny leaned back on the cushions and curled her legs up underneath her. "So, are you coming to Hogsmeade this weekend?" she asked.
Harry leaned forward and looked at the floor in front of him. "I don't know. I'm behind in some of my school work because of my extra classes with Lupin. Besides, everybody's getting dates and such this go round."
"Well, some of the sixth years are getting together at the Three Broomsticks. Care to join us?"
Harry paused. Maybe he could go to Hogsmeade with Ginny. No, there was too much history there. He knew, of course, about her crush on him in her first year, but especially since the Department of Mysteries, and playing quidditch together this year and last, Ginny had almost become the fourth member of their little group.
'There's no almost about it,' he thought. As intimidating as Ron could be, Ginny took after her mother in more than just red hair. She flat out refused to be left behind, to the point of following the three of them to the Shrieking Shack last year. When she found out that the three of them were receiving extra lessons in dueling from Remus and Kingsley, she insisted on being included. No one told Ginny she couldn't handle a dangerous situation. She'd proven that at the ministry, in all their mishaps last year and countless times on the quidditch pitch. She was brave, fast, pretty and had an adorable freckle just to the left of her nose.
'Hold on there, mate.' Getting involved with Harry Potter, however, offered more than the thrill of adventure, he reminded himself. 'Getting close to me is like putting a price on your own head.' It was already hard enough to worry about Ron and Hermione. He couldn't have the added distraction of worrying about Ginny, too.
"Hullo, in there," Ginny called, waving her hand in front of his face. "Sorry to ask you such a difficult question." She had put her other hand on his shoulder.
"No, I was just, ehm, going over everything I still have to do. I think I'll pass. Maybe next time?" Harry didn't notice the change in Ginny's face.
"Yeah, sure. Look, just don't work to hard. I know you have a lot of responsibilty, what with Quidditch and trying to prepare for whatever it is that Voldemort is plotting now. Just don't forget to have some fun too, ok." Ginny was holding Harry's hand in hers now. Harry looked up and locked eyes with her. She understood. Other than Harry, she alone had seen the evil they were preparing to face. Maybe...
Harry jerked his hand away and stood up quickly. Ginny stared up at him, a hurt look glazing over her eyes. "Yeah, I know. Look, go with your friends. Don't worry about me."
"You are my friend, or did you forget?" Ginny called after him as he started towards the staircase up to the boys dormitory.
"Yeah, but I want to be more." Harry mumbled to himself. Climbing the stairs to the 7th years room he thought, 'How could he though?' Voldemort had already used those he cared about to manipulate him. Using Sirius to get Harry to go to the Department of Mysteries had only been the beginning. That summer, Voldemort had continually sent Harry images of friends in trouble. Harry knew Voldemort had been trying to goad him into another trap, sending him image after image of people close to him being tortured. The Dark Lord was desparate to catch Harry alone again, counting on the fact that Harry would again rush to his freinds' rescue. The visions had confused Harry enough, though, that when Death Eaters really tried to kidnap Ron and Hermione in Hogsmeade, he was almost too late to save them.
'And he used Ginny to get me to the Chamber of Secrets." Putting away the Quidditch plans he had been making, Harry remembered how Tom Riddle admitted to altering his plans once he met Harry in the pages of the diary. He knew from Hermione that Ginny still had nightmares of her first year. Her couldn't put her through that again. He couldn't allow her to become a pawn in Voldemort's vendetta against him.
'And then there's the matter of time." Since the attack in Hogsmeade sixth year, it had been decided that Harry should receive extra tutoring in defense. He, Ron, Hermione and Ginny went to the Shrieking Shack via the Whomping Willow two nights a week for extra practice in dueling. Ron and Hermione were included due to the fact that there seemed to be no way to prevent them from ending up right in the middle of whatever trouble Harry was in. Besides, they had become targets themselves. Ginny had forced her way into the group by threatening to tell her mother, who had not been informed of the extra lessons.
Exhausted, as usual, Harry began to change for bed. The extra hours and grueling practices left them with little time for anything other than their other responsibilities and school work. Hermione, of course, had set about making sure that everyone had color coded schedules which assigned time for everything from eating to Quidditch practice. Harry even had a sneaking suspicion he followed his better than Ron and Hermione did. They were bleary eyed at the breakfast table a little too often. "I guess she forgot to a lot a time slot for snogging with Ron," he laughed to himself. He, however, did not have the luxury of being able to forgo a few hours of sleep for a trip to the astronomy tower. He could not afford to get overwhelmed. The close call with the kidnapping attempt had given Harry the focus he needed to finally master Occulumency. He had fewer disturbing dreams. Now the Dark Lord was only able to penetrate Harry's mind when Harry was extremely tired and overwhelmed, and even then, Harry was able to recognize the images as foreign.
Remus had held him back last week after lessons as the others started to go through the trap door into the tunnel back to Hogwarts. "We're all counting on you, Harry. You have to be as ready as you can," Remus had said. Remus looked extremely sorry for having to remind his young friend of his role in the prophesy. The werewolf was the only other adult besides Dumbledore who was aware of the full contents of the prophecy that had been destroyed 5th year. He had made it his responsibility to see that Harry was ready.
"It's settled then," Harry thought as he drew the bed curtains around him and got into bed. "The Boy Who Lived cannot be The Boy Who Loved."
He was in the kitchen of the flat. It was the same, neat cottage he remembered from before. A man with untidy black hair was sitting at the table reading the latest edition of the Daily Prophet. Harry walked toward the table when the man stood up and went to the doorway into the sitting room. A young woman with long red hair was sitting on the floor sorting through piles of papers. Her legs were spread out and the piles were all around her. As she reached to straighten a stack to her right, one could notice the swelling in her belly. Harry followed the black haired man and paused in the doorway. If he could just wait here a little longer, they would start talking. The woman finished with the stack she was working on and put them into one of the neat piles positioned around her. The man leaned over to offer her a hand. She took it and began to stand...
The blinding green light woke Harry with a start. "You alright, Harry?" He heard Ron asked through the curtains.
"Yeah, just that dream about my folks again. Go back to sleep, mate," Harry reassured his friend. Harry turned over in bed and kicked the tangled bed covers free of his feet. He'd been dreaming about his parents since he'd seen them in the Mirror of Erised first year. At first, they were just looking at him, just like they did in that picture Hagrid had saved for him. Even when the dreams had started to take a more disturbing turn with his experience with dementors during third year, Harry had always welcomed these dreams. During 6th year the dreams had changed again. Since then, rather than always hearing them in their last momemts, he found himself wandering through what he assumed was his parent's house in Godric's Hollow. He never heard them speak, and never saw their faces. It saddened him to not see them face to face, but he enjoyed wandering through his home.
Maybe the discipline of Occlumency had freed his memory to share what it was like to live with his mum and dad. It didn't matter that the dream always ended with that flash of green light. When he was dreaming, he was as close as he could get to home.