Kudos
Covenant: What took you so long? Damn!
Omega-boy: Friends suck! Deal with it!
Mortalsora: "bit a wit"? What the hell? What do you mean, "weird story"? Just because it has no plot..........
Dark-Sephiroth: Confused, eh? What are you gonna do about it? :p
Mikoto: Nah, this will be the entirety of it parodized.
A/N: I have no Author's Note. Coincidentally, that just became it.
Kain: What the hell is going on in here?! Geez!
Melchiah: DO NOT TAKE THE LORD'S NAME IN VAIN, THOU FOUL DOG!
Kain: I said "geez", not "Jesus".
Melchiah: You just said it now!
Kain: Well, I had to explain it to you, now didn't I?
Melchiah: Well, okay......... But don't' do it again!
Kain: Whatever.
Zephon: Okay, who's still alive?
Kain: There's Vorador, Janos, you, me, Melchiah, Dumah, Turel...........
Magnus, Marcus, Sebastian and Faustus bursts into the cabin.
Seb: THERE ARE TENTACLES OUT THERE HUNTING US! THEY GOT MAGNUS!
Magnus: MEAT!
Kain: .................... Where's the difference?
Magnus: MEAT!
Kain: Right.
Zephon: We need to figure out what's going on. So I suggest, that we look for notes by some mysterious professor. Maybe he'll be able to explain everything, and we will learn of a complicated process of destroying the evil, in a climatic final battle, where all but one of us will die, and get sent back in time.
Turel: What are the odds of that?
Ash pops in.
Ash: Wha-? Oh, wrong time period. Blasted! (disappears)
Sebastian: Whatever. Maybe there is some book, that's the cause of all of this.
Kain: How do you figure?
Sebastian: That things he said at the tape recorder must come from somewhere.
Zephon: How do you know about the tape recorder?
Sebastian (ashamed): I went peeky-peeky.
Kain: o0
Zephon: Whatever. We need to find that book!
Kain: No shit?
Zephon shoots him with Melchiah's shotgun.
Kain: Ow!
Suddenly, a tentacle flies into Janos.
Kain: CRAP!
Hash and Satan pops in.
Satan: YO! What up, ma homie!
Hash: Chillin', having a bud'.
Satan: True, true.
Janos gets up.
Janos: WAZZUUUUUUP!!!
Hash: WAZZUUUUUUP!!!
Satan: WAZZUUUUUUP!!!
Umah pops in, possessed, of course.
Umah: WAZZUUUUUUUUUP!!!!
Raziel: WAZZUUUUUUUP!!!
Hash: WAZZUUUUUUUUUP!!!
Janos: WAZZUUUUP!!!
Raziel: WAZZUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!
Shorty (from Scary Movie): Oh shit, son!
Kain pulls out the reaver.
Kain: I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU, WHO SPEAK ODDLY, IF YOU HAVEN'T SHUTTEN UP IN LESS THAN 2 SECONDS!
Shorty: Yo, that sword would make an excellent bong!
Kain: You think?
Hash/Satan/Shorty/Raz/Umah/Janos: CHUG! CHUG! GHUG!
Kain (smoking the reaver): This is good shit!
Hash/Satan/Shorty/Raz/Umah/Janos: YEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!!!
Kain picks up the nearby phone.
Kain: Hey, what's your favorite scary movie?
They all crack up.
Moebius (on the phone): Who is this? I'm calling the police!
Kain: You might want to check your backdoor first. You forgot to lock it!
Moebius: (screams) (screams) (screams) (screams) (screams) (screams) (screams) (screams) (screams)
Melchiah: Drugs are the work of Satan!
Satan: Nope. I just smoke 'em!
Hash calls Mortanius.
Hash: WAZZUUUUUUPP!!!
Morty: WAZZUUUUUUP!!!
Hash: What are you doing, son?
Morty: Nothin'. Chillin'. Killin'.
Hash: True, true.
Kain: The Guardian of Death is a serial killer? That makes no sense at all!
Zephon: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight........... Anyway, Satan, or Hash, can you tell us about what's going on?
Satan: No can do, dawg. The cops gave me a deal: Stay put, and get good. Umm, yeah.
Zephon: What about you, Hash?
Hash: I can't. They snatched ma library card, so I can't snatch books, y'all.
Melchiah: DEMONS!
Kain: No shit?
Melchiah: The Lord does not tolerate demons!
Satan: Are unwanted, y'all?
Melchiah: YES!
Turel: Speak for yourself!
Satan. Straight, yo!
Hash: Yo! Here be da book, y'all want! (throws the Necromonicon, then opens a pit in the floor and jumps down, with Satan following along)
Kain: Well, that was odd.
Umah: I'll take that! (snatches the book)
Kain: Hey!
Dumah: I knew she'd attempt to bullshit us around!
Melchiah: This is all because of the devil intervening!
Turel: Huh?
Kain: Never mind him, he's odd. Come on, we gotta catch her!
Umah (running out in the forest): YOU'LL NEVER GET MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
COAD: Hey, she looks like she's auditioning for being a "bouncer".........
Kain: That sounds like something Vorador would say! (pissed off)
Vorador: I'm worse than him.
Rahab: Yeah? Do you have over 100 pictures of guess-what on your computer?
Vorador: No.
Rahab: I rest my case.
Vorador: I make up for it in movies, though.
Rahab: Help me here, Concept.
COAD: Nah, he won.
Rahab (getting desperate): Well, Vorador, do you mas-
COAD: Let's just hold it there.
Rahab: But-
Vorador: Butts!
COAD: Shut up!
Turel: Hey, asswipes!
Kain: What is it?
Turel: Heheh, you reacted when I said "asswipes". Why don't we just leave?
Kain: this is where I start to feel like a freaking idiot..........
Vorador: I'M THE GREAT PRETENDER!
Kain: Poser.
COAD: SATAN RULES!
Kain: Poser.
Rahab: I'm better than Raziel.
Kain: Poser.
Zephon goes into the kitchen and finds some milk. (And in case you're a pervert, that's milk, not "milk", okay?!)
Vorador: (0 Y 0) (o Y o) (o)(o)
Kain: DAMNIT!
Zephon: This stuff tastes good! (is addicted)
Kain: He got addicted to milk! Poser!
Turel: Hey, don't you think we should attempt to get out of here? We can take the trail.
Kain: Okay.
They leave the cabin. Then they come back.
Kain: Shit, we forgot Zephon.
Zephon (holding on to the fridge): I WANT MA MILK!
Kain: God, shut u- No, Vorador, stay in the car, damnit!
Vorador (o Y o) (outside): You're sure you don't want my help?
Kain: I'm sure. Dumah, come here!
Dumah: What is it, dad?
Kain: We need him to let go of the fridge.
Both pulls as hard as they can.
Zephon (holding on): HUYNGGGGG!!!!
Kain: Melchiah, come here!
All three of them pull.
Zephon (holding on): HUYNGGGGG!!!!
Kain: Turel, come here!
All four of them pull.
Zephon (holding on): HUYNGGGGG!!!!
Kain: Rahab, come here!
All five of them pull.
Zephon (holding on): HUYNGGGGG!!!!
Kain: Hmm, any other survivors?
Rahab: There are the 4 stooges?
Kain: Who- oh, Sebastian and them?
Rahab: No, I was thinking more of Blue.
Kain: Oh. Well, we can still use Sebastian and them.
Melchiah: The Power of Christ compels you! The Power of Christ compels you!
Zephon (high on milk): 7I-I3 P0VV3I2 0f (I-II2157 (0mp315 y00!
Kain: What. The. Hell.........
Sebastian (chatting): "I'm a 16-year old ninja, and we can read you thoughts." o0
Kain: Hey, jackass, get over here!
Sebastian: Huh?
Turel: Heheh, you reacted!
Sebastian: What can I help you with, oh criminally insane compadre of mine?
Kain: I'm not insane! Zephon's just addicted to milk!
Sebastian: You're crazy!
Turel: but it's true!
Sebastian: Yeah, right.
Zephon then blows up, resulting in the roof lifting. It lands heavily.
Kain: Ouch!
The phone calls.
Kain: What is it?
Killer: I'm in the house somewhere. Can you tell where I am?
Kain: Yeah, you're behind the couch.
Killer: (giggle) ....wha-? How did you know?
Kain: I can see your feet.
Killer: Christ, not this again! Okay, hold on, while I hide.
Kain: I don't have time for this. Melchiah, he took the Lord's name in vain.
Melchiah then shoots the killer, who flies through the window.
Kain: Hey, Zephon's knocked out by the blast!
They take him out to the car, and they all drive off.
Magnus: MEAT!
Marcus: Oh, shut up!
As they get to the bridge, they find it wrecked.
Kain: CRAP!
5 or more reviews. Man, this chapter was hard to write.
Oh, in case you are reading both of my stories, if you're gonna review them, then review them separately. I don't want reviews of the Defiance parody here, or vice-versa.
Heheh, I got a B in my English exam today..................
Covenant: What took you so long? Damn!
Omega-boy: Friends suck! Deal with it!
Mortalsora: "bit a wit"? What the hell? What do you mean, "weird story"? Just because it has no plot..........
Dark-Sephiroth: Confused, eh? What are you gonna do about it? :p
Mikoto: Nah, this will be the entirety of it parodized.
A/N: I have no Author's Note. Coincidentally, that just became it.
Kain: What the hell is going on in here?! Geez!
Melchiah: DO NOT TAKE THE LORD'S NAME IN VAIN, THOU FOUL DOG!
Kain: I said "geez", not "Jesus".
Melchiah: You just said it now!
Kain: Well, I had to explain it to you, now didn't I?
Melchiah: Well, okay......... But don't' do it again!
Kain: Whatever.
Zephon: Okay, who's still alive?
Kain: There's Vorador, Janos, you, me, Melchiah, Dumah, Turel...........
Magnus, Marcus, Sebastian and Faustus bursts into the cabin.
Seb: THERE ARE TENTACLES OUT THERE HUNTING US! THEY GOT MAGNUS!
Magnus: MEAT!
Kain: .................... Where's the difference?
Magnus: MEAT!
Kain: Right.
Zephon: We need to figure out what's going on. So I suggest, that we look for notes by some mysterious professor. Maybe he'll be able to explain everything, and we will learn of a complicated process of destroying the evil, in a climatic final battle, where all but one of us will die, and get sent back in time.
Turel: What are the odds of that?
Ash pops in.
Ash: Wha-? Oh, wrong time period. Blasted! (disappears)
Sebastian: Whatever. Maybe there is some book, that's the cause of all of this.
Kain: How do you figure?
Sebastian: That things he said at the tape recorder must come from somewhere.
Zephon: How do you know about the tape recorder?
Sebastian (ashamed): I went peeky-peeky.
Kain: o0
Zephon: Whatever. We need to find that book!
Kain: No shit?
Zephon shoots him with Melchiah's shotgun.
Kain: Ow!
Suddenly, a tentacle flies into Janos.
Kain: CRAP!
Hash and Satan pops in.
Satan: YO! What up, ma homie!
Hash: Chillin', having a bud'.
Satan: True, true.
Janos gets up.
Janos: WAZZUUUUUUP!!!
Hash: WAZZUUUUUUP!!!
Satan: WAZZUUUUUUP!!!
Umah pops in, possessed, of course.
Umah: WAZZUUUUUUUUUP!!!!
Raziel: WAZZUUUUUUUP!!!
Hash: WAZZUUUUUUUUUP!!!
Janos: WAZZUUUUP!!!
Raziel: WAZZUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!
Shorty (from Scary Movie): Oh shit, son!
Kain pulls out the reaver.
Kain: I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU, WHO SPEAK ODDLY, IF YOU HAVEN'T SHUTTEN UP IN LESS THAN 2 SECONDS!
Shorty: Yo, that sword would make an excellent bong!
Kain: You think?
Hash/Satan/Shorty/Raz/Umah/Janos: CHUG! CHUG! GHUG!
Kain (smoking the reaver): This is good shit!
Hash/Satan/Shorty/Raz/Umah/Janos: YEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!!!
Kain picks up the nearby phone.
Kain: Hey, what's your favorite scary movie?
They all crack up.
Moebius (on the phone): Who is this? I'm calling the police!
Kain: You might want to check your backdoor first. You forgot to lock it!
Moebius: (screams) (screams) (screams) (screams) (screams) (screams) (screams) (screams) (screams)
Melchiah: Drugs are the work of Satan!
Satan: Nope. I just smoke 'em!
Hash calls Mortanius.
Hash: WAZZUUUUUUPP!!!
Morty: WAZZUUUUUUP!!!
Hash: What are you doing, son?
Morty: Nothin'. Chillin'. Killin'.
Hash: True, true.
Kain: The Guardian of Death is a serial killer? That makes no sense at all!
Zephon: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight........... Anyway, Satan, or Hash, can you tell us about what's going on?
Satan: No can do, dawg. The cops gave me a deal: Stay put, and get good. Umm, yeah.
Zephon: What about you, Hash?
Hash: I can't. They snatched ma library card, so I can't snatch books, y'all.
Melchiah: DEMONS!
Kain: No shit?
Melchiah: The Lord does not tolerate demons!
Satan: Are unwanted, y'all?
Melchiah: YES!
Turel: Speak for yourself!
Satan. Straight, yo!
Hash: Yo! Here be da book, y'all want! (throws the Necromonicon, then opens a pit in the floor and jumps down, with Satan following along)
Kain: Well, that was odd.
Umah: I'll take that! (snatches the book)
Kain: Hey!
Dumah: I knew she'd attempt to bullshit us around!
Melchiah: This is all because of the devil intervening!
Turel: Huh?
Kain: Never mind him, he's odd. Come on, we gotta catch her!
Umah (running out in the forest): YOU'LL NEVER GET MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
COAD: Hey, she looks like she's auditioning for being a "bouncer".........
Kain: That sounds like something Vorador would say! (pissed off)
Vorador: I'm worse than him.
Rahab: Yeah? Do you have over 100 pictures of guess-what on your computer?
Vorador: No.
Rahab: I rest my case.
Vorador: I make up for it in movies, though.
Rahab: Help me here, Concept.
COAD: Nah, he won.
Rahab (getting desperate): Well, Vorador, do you mas-
COAD: Let's just hold it there.
Rahab: But-
Vorador: Butts!
COAD: Shut up!
Turel: Hey, asswipes!
Kain: What is it?
Turel: Heheh, you reacted when I said "asswipes". Why don't we just leave?
Kain: this is where I start to feel like a freaking idiot..........
Vorador: I'M THE GREAT PRETENDER!
Kain: Poser.
COAD: SATAN RULES!
Kain: Poser.
Rahab: I'm better than Raziel.
Kain: Poser.
Zephon goes into the kitchen and finds some milk. (And in case you're a pervert, that's milk, not "milk", okay?!)
Vorador: (0 Y 0) (o Y o) (o)(o)
Kain: DAMNIT!
Zephon: This stuff tastes good! (is addicted)
Kain: He got addicted to milk! Poser!
Turel: Hey, don't you think we should attempt to get out of here? We can take the trail.
Kain: Okay.
They leave the cabin. Then they come back.
Kain: Shit, we forgot Zephon.
Zephon (holding on to the fridge): I WANT MA MILK!
Kain: God, shut u- No, Vorador, stay in the car, damnit!
Vorador (o Y o) (outside): You're sure you don't want my help?
Kain: I'm sure. Dumah, come here!
Dumah: What is it, dad?
Kain: We need him to let go of the fridge.
Both pulls as hard as they can.
Zephon (holding on): HUYNGGGGG!!!!
Kain: Melchiah, come here!
All three of them pull.
Zephon (holding on): HUYNGGGGG!!!!
Kain: Turel, come here!
All four of them pull.
Zephon (holding on): HUYNGGGGG!!!!
Kain: Rahab, come here!
All five of them pull.
Zephon (holding on): HUYNGGGGG!!!!
Kain: Hmm, any other survivors?
Rahab: There are the 4 stooges?
Kain: Who- oh, Sebastian and them?
Rahab: No, I was thinking more of Blue.
Kain: Oh. Well, we can still use Sebastian and them.
Melchiah: The Power of Christ compels you! The Power of Christ compels you!
Zephon (high on milk): 7I-I3 P0VV3I2 0f (I-II2157 (0mp315 y00!
Kain: What. The. Hell.........
Sebastian (chatting): "I'm a 16-year old ninja, and we can read you thoughts." o0
Kain: Hey, jackass, get over here!
Sebastian: Huh?
Turel: Heheh, you reacted!
Sebastian: What can I help you with, oh criminally insane compadre of mine?
Kain: I'm not insane! Zephon's just addicted to milk!
Sebastian: You're crazy!
Turel: but it's true!
Sebastian: Yeah, right.
Zephon then blows up, resulting in the roof lifting. It lands heavily.
Kain: Ouch!
The phone calls.
Kain: What is it?
Killer: I'm in the house somewhere. Can you tell where I am?
Kain: Yeah, you're behind the couch.
Killer: (giggle) ....wha-? How did you know?
Kain: I can see your feet.
Killer: Christ, not this again! Okay, hold on, while I hide.
Kain: I don't have time for this. Melchiah, he took the Lord's name in vain.
Melchiah then shoots the killer, who flies through the window.
Kain: Hey, Zephon's knocked out by the blast!
They take him out to the car, and they all drive off.
Magnus: MEAT!
Marcus: Oh, shut up!
As they get to the bridge, they find it wrecked.
Kain: CRAP!
5 or more reviews. Man, this chapter was hard to write.
Oh, in case you are reading both of my stories, if you're gonna review them, then review them separately. I don't want reviews of the Defiance parody here, or vice-versa.
Heheh, I got a B in my English exam today..................