Chapter eleven...getting down to the wire, isn't it? Not much to say about
this one, save for this: Pegasus' beliefs regarding dreams do not reflect
my own; dreams are influenced by too many outside factors (television and
such) to be such as Pegasus believes...still, it's an interesting thought,
eh? I'm rather proud of this chapter. Enjoy.
***
He stood in an ancient tomb. The scent of decay filled his senses.
He saw a man, dressed in pristine white robes, a white cape and turban, with a golden key hanging from his neck by a cord, and a golden scale in his right hand. His skin was dark, his eyes arresting and scrutinizing. Their pupil-less depths stared into his soul.
"You...are Shadi?" he asked.
The man inclined his head slightly.
"Pegasus told me you might be able to help me. Can you? Please, Shadi, I need help. I need my brother back. I can't go on without him. Please!" He fell to his knees, begging, All control slipped, and he was reduced to a blubbering child.
"Look at me."
The voice caused the tears to stop abruptly, and he was compelled to do as ordered. He looked into cold cerulean orbs. He looked into death.
"I will grant you nothing," the man said, in a voice sharp and cold as a blade, "You deserve nothing. Your heart has been consumed by the blackness of your soul. You shun what is given you, striving for all you cannot have. The spirits blessed you, and you turned away from them. Now that they have condemned you to your punishment, you gawk at them and demand why. You demand that they return to you that which you do not deserve.
"Even the cold rest of death is above you. You are condemned, condemned to the abyss between the world of the living and the world of death, a part of both, belonging to neither. There you will be lost within the shadows of your own mind, torn asunder by the darkness in your heart. For eternity upon eternity, you will wander, you will suffer, you will die, you will rise. An endless cycle of death and un-death, rising only to fall, that is what you deserve."
"No!" he wailed. "No, no, no! I didn't do anything wrong! I love him! I love him!!"
"Be gone!!"
As he sobbed and scraped and wailed, the shadows of the tomb rose up and consumed him. And he fell. It was instant, it was eternal. It was limbo. It was torture.
It was what he deserved.
"NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
***
I woke with that scream of denial still on my lips. The door to the room was thrown open, and Pegasus rushed in. "What in the name of God is happening in here!" he demanded. "You sounded as though you were being torn limb from limb!"
I was, I thought with a shudder. "A...a dream...that's all...a dream."
"A dream, eh?" he asked skeptically.
His Millennium Eye flashed. He shook his head. "Dreams have plagued you. That is why you've not been able to sleep lately." He sat down in a chair and looked at me. "You know, Seto, my family has a belief about dreams," he said. "Dreams are not just nonsensical fancies conjured up by our imaginations.
"Dreams are glimpses into separate worlds, into other futures, into a reality that could have been. Every decision we make, whether it be what we say or what time we wake up in the morning, carves a new fork into the road of time. They also obliterate other paths, possibilities that become impossibilities the moment the decision is made.
"That is what we are able to see in dreams. We see those worlds, those realities, those possibilities."
I stared at him. "That's all very fascinating, but what does that have to do with my nightmares? The dreams I've been having lately make no sense at all! I know my own virtual game, and I remember what happened! My Blue-Eyes never attacked Mokuba, and I don't see how a decision I made could have made it attack him!"
Pegasus shook his head. "It was no decision of yours, Seto. It was a decision of Gansley, and the rest of your board of directors. You remember that they altered your game before allowing you to test it, do you not?"
"Yes..."
"Well, do you not remember? At first, one of the rules of that game was that, if a player was attacked, with a monster on his playing field, that monster would retaliate and attack. When your directors changed the rules, they took that rule out. I know, because they told me. They took it out because they thought it would give you too much of an advantage. That was a decision they made.
"Now think of the other side of that coin: what if they had not? What if they had kept that rule in? Or what if they had simply overlooked it?"
I stared down at my hands, unbelieving. Dear Jesus...
"When...when Mokuba pushed me out of the way...to save me from being destroyed...my dragon would have retaliated...and attacked."
Pegasus nodded. "Precisely. You see?"
"Well...w-what about the one where Mokuba committed suicide! He said I ignored him, that I didn't care! I do! How could that have happened?!"
Pegasus held up his hand. "Calm down, Seto. That is also easily explained. Think back. Back before Yugi defeated you at Magic & Wizards. You were all business. You didn't do anything if it didn't further your influence and power. You were cold, cruel, you were a machine.
"That changed when Yugi defeated you, because he showed you that power isn't everything. He showed you that belief in yourself is what is truly important, in contest and in life. You grew to understand that you needed more than just power.
"Now, you remember how Yugi defeated you, don't you?"
"Exodia," I muttered bitterly. Those five damned cards that declared an instant victory. They were almost as rare as the Blue-Eyes White Dragons...
"Yes. And do you know how he came across those cards?"
"No...but I've wondered."
"They were a gift from his grandfather. Solomon Motou spent years collecting each piece of that deadly hand. But he gave them to Yugi. Now, what if he had decided they were too valuable to be given away? What if he had kept them locked away? Or, what if he had never have gotten them to begin with?
"Without Exodia, Yugi wouldn't have beaten you. You were about to win before he drew out the final card that spelled your loss. And if you had won, it would have proven to you that power was all that was necessary to triumph, and you wouldn't have seen your error. You would have become the man you were in that nightmare, the man that ignored his brother for the sake of business.
"You were all that young Mokuba had. You were his role model, his protector. You were the only person he had to look up to for love and support. A child needs a parent to fall back on. If you had become that man, and begun to push him away, he would have lost his will to live. He would have been driven to suicide.
"Why did he not? Why did you not become that man? Because of the decision Solomon Motou made, to give the five cards of Exodia to his grandson. Because of that, you grew to see how important your brother was."
Dear God, I thought. Could he be right? If I'd beaten Yugi in that match, would I have become that cold, heartless bastard? Impossible, I wanted to say, but the more I thought about it, the more sense it made.
"Well..." I said after a moment, "o-okay...I admit that makes sense, but...the one I just had...how...why...He said I didn't deserve Mokuba! Why...why wouldn't I deserve him? I'm not the man in the nightmare! I do love Mokuba, why...? Why would he say I don't deserve him?"
"Why do you say that you do?" Pegasus asked mildly, crossing his arms.
I looked at him. "I...I didn't ignore him! I gave him everything he wanted!"
"He wanted you, Seto. You discovered that when you read his letter. Mokuba was not the sort of person to care about material possessions. I discovered that when I looked into his mind. What he cared about was you.
"I agree with you in that you are not the same man as the one in your nightmare, the man who drove Mokuba to suicide. But you still are not the man you should have been. Mokuba loved you to the end, and he appreciated all you did for him, but he was still not happy."
"So what you're saying is that I failed him, and that I don't deserve him."
Pegasus sighed. "I'm trying to help you understand something, Seto. Dreams are glimpses into possible happenings. Your nightmare regarding Shadi is a possible outcome. It could be that Shadi will decide just as he did in your nightmare, and not tell you anything."
"Then why go at all?" I demanded bitterly. "If I don't deserve my brother, why go to Shadi in the first damn place?"
Pegasus frowned. "Did you not hear me? I said possible. In your nightmare, you stood no chance of getting him back. But you are going to him with knowledge you did not have in your nightmare. My decision to tell you these things have set you on a new fork. It could also be possible that Shadi will help you. You will never know unless you try. Just as Yugi told you, the odds are in your favor. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Take a chance."
"How do you..." I began, but remembered. "Oh...the eye..."
He nodded. "Your helicopter is ready to depart. A map showing you the way to Shadi is inside. Go to him, Seto. If there is any chance of reviving Mokuba, it lies with him."
I sighed, stood, and followed him out of the room, down the hall, down the stairs to the front parlor, and through the courtyard. My copter stood ready to go, just as Pegasus said. I walked over to it, pulled open the door.
As I was climbing in, Pegasus stopped me.
He looked me in the eyes. "You think you have failed your brother," he said. "Don't. Mokuba loved you. The bond between the two of you is as strong as I have ever seen. The only time you will truly fail your brother, is when you convince yourself that you have failed, and give up."
I looked at him for a moment, then nodded.
"I wish you the best of luck, Seto. I truly hope Shadi can help you."
Again, I nodded. "Thank you, Pegasus."
He turned away, and walked back toward his castle.
***
He stood in an ancient tomb. The scent of decay filled his senses.
He saw a man, dressed in pristine white robes, a white cape and turban, with a golden key hanging from his neck by a cord, and a golden scale in his right hand. His skin was dark, his eyes arresting and scrutinizing. Their pupil-less depths stared into his soul.
"You...are Shadi?" he asked.
The man inclined his head slightly.
"Pegasus told me you might be able to help me. Can you? Please, Shadi, I need help. I need my brother back. I can't go on without him. Please!" He fell to his knees, begging, All control slipped, and he was reduced to a blubbering child.
"Look at me."
The voice caused the tears to stop abruptly, and he was compelled to do as ordered. He looked into cold cerulean orbs. He looked into death.
"I will grant you nothing," the man said, in a voice sharp and cold as a blade, "You deserve nothing. Your heart has been consumed by the blackness of your soul. You shun what is given you, striving for all you cannot have. The spirits blessed you, and you turned away from them. Now that they have condemned you to your punishment, you gawk at them and demand why. You demand that they return to you that which you do not deserve.
"Even the cold rest of death is above you. You are condemned, condemned to the abyss between the world of the living and the world of death, a part of both, belonging to neither. There you will be lost within the shadows of your own mind, torn asunder by the darkness in your heart. For eternity upon eternity, you will wander, you will suffer, you will die, you will rise. An endless cycle of death and un-death, rising only to fall, that is what you deserve."
"No!" he wailed. "No, no, no! I didn't do anything wrong! I love him! I love him!!"
"Be gone!!"
As he sobbed and scraped and wailed, the shadows of the tomb rose up and consumed him. And he fell. It was instant, it was eternal. It was limbo. It was torture.
It was what he deserved.
"NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
***
I woke with that scream of denial still on my lips. The door to the room was thrown open, and Pegasus rushed in. "What in the name of God is happening in here!" he demanded. "You sounded as though you were being torn limb from limb!"
I was, I thought with a shudder. "A...a dream...that's all...a dream."
"A dream, eh?" he asked skeptically.
His Millennium Eye flashed. He shook his head. "Dreams have plagued you. That is why you've not been able to sleep lately." He sat down in a chair and looked at me. "You know, Seto, my family has a belief about dreams," he said. "Dreams are not just nonsensical fancies conjured up by our imaginations.
"Dreams are glimpses into separate worlds, into other futures, into a reality that could have been. Every decision we make, whether it be what we say or what time we wake up in the morning, carves a new fork into the road of time. They also obliterate other paths, possibilities that become impossibilities the moment the decision is made.
"That is what we are able to see in dreams. We see those worlds, those realities, those possibilities."
I stared at him. "That's all very fascinating, but what does that have to do with my nightmares? The dreams I've been having lately make no sense at all! I know my own virtual game, and I remember what happened! My Blue-Eyes never attacked Mokuba, and I don't see how a decision I made could have made it attack him!"
Pegasus shook his head. "It was no decision of yours, Seto. It was a decision of Gansley, and the rest of your board of directors. You remember that they altered your game before allowing you to test it, do you not?"
"Yes..."
"Well, do you not remember? At first, one of the rules of that game was that, if a player was attacked, with a monster on his playing field, that monster would retaliate and attack. When your directors changed the rules, they took that rule out. I know, because they told me. They took it out because they thought it would give you too much of an advantage. That was a decision they made.
"Now think of the other side of that coin: what if they had not? What if they had kept that rule in? Or what if they had simply overlooked it?"
I stared down at my hands, unbelieving. Dear Jesus...
"When...when Mokuba pushed me out of the way...to save me from being destroyed...my dragon would have retaliated...and attacked."
Pegasus nodded. "Precisely. You see?"
"Well...w-what about the one where Mokuba committed suicide! He said I ignored him, that I didn't care! I do! How could that have happened?!"
Pegasus held up his hand. "Calm down, Seto. That is also easily explained. Think back. Back before Yugi defeated you at Magic & Wizards. You were all business. You didn't do anything if it didn't further your influence and power. You were cold, cruel, you were a machine.
"That changed when Yugi defeated you, because he showed you that power isn't everything. He showed you that belief in yourself is what is truly important, in contest and in life. You grew to understand that you needed more than just power.
"Now, you remember how Yugi defeated you, don't you?"
"Exodia," I muttered bitterly. Those five damned cards that declared an instant victory. They were almost as rare as the Blue-Eyes White Dragons...
"Yes. And do you know how he came across those cards?"
"No...but I've wondered."
"They were a gift from his grandfather. Solomon Motou spent years collecting each piece of that deadly hand. But he gave them to Yugi. Now, what if he had decided they were too valuable to be given away? What if he had kept them locked away? Or, what if he had never have gotten them to begin with?
"Without Exodia, Yugi wouldn't have beaten you. You were about to win before he drew out the final card that spelled your loss. And if you had won, it would have proven to you that power was all that was necessary to triumph, and you wouldn't have seen your error. You would have become the man you were in that nightmare, the man that ignored his brother for the sake of business.
"You were all that young Mokuba had. You were his role model, his protector. You were the only person he had to look up to for love and support. A child needs a parent to fall back on. If you had become that man, and begun to push him away, he would have lost his will to live. He would have been driven to suicide.
"Why did he not? Why did you not become that man? Because of the decision Solomon Motou made, to give the five cards of Exodia to his grandson. Because of that, you grew to see how important your brother was."
Dear God, I thought. Could he be right? If I'd beaten Yugi in that match, would I have become that cold, heartless bastard? Impossible, I wanted to say, but the more I thought about it, the more sense it made.
"Well..." I said after a moment, "o-okay...I admit that makes sense, but...the one I just had...how...why...He said I didn't deserve Mokuba! Why...why wouldn't I deserve him? I'm not the man in the nightmare! I do love Mokuba, why...? Why would he say I don't deserve him?"
"Why do you say that you do?" Pegasus asked mildly, crossing his arms.
I looked at him. "I...I didn't ignore him! I gave him everything he wanted!"
"He wanted you, Seto. You discovered that when you read his letter. Mokuba was not the sort of person to care about material possessions. I discovered that when I looked into his mind. What he cared about was you.
"I agree with you in that you are not the same man as the one in your nightmare, the man who drove Mokuba to suicide. But you still are not the man you should have been. Mokuba loved you to the end, and he appreciated all you did for him, but he was still not happy."
"So what you're saying is that I failed him, and that I don't deserve him."
Pegasus sighed. "I'm trying to help you understand something, Seto. Dreams are glimpses into possible happenings. Your nightmare regarding Shadi is a possible outcome. It could be that Shadi will decide just as he did in your nightmare, and not tell you anything."
"Then why go at all?" I demanded bitterly. "If I don't deserve my brother, why go to Shadi in the first damn place?"
Pegasus frowned. "Did you not hear me? I said possible. In your nightmare, you stood no chance of getting him back. But you are going to him with knowledge you did not have in your nightmare. My decision to tell you these things have set you on a new fork. It could also be possible that Shadi will help you. You will never know unless you try. Just as Yugi told you, the odds are in your favor. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Take a chance."
"How do you..." I began, but remembered. "Oh...the eye..."
He nodded. "Your helicopter is ready to depart. A map showing you the way to Shadi is inside. Go to him, Seto. If there is any chance of reviving Mokuba, it lies with him."
I sighed, stood, and followed him out of the room, down the hall, down the stairs to the front parlor, and through the courtyard. My copter stood ready to go, just as Pegasus said. I walked over to it, pulled open the door.
As I was climbing in, Pegasus stopped me.
He looked me in the eyes. "You think you have failed your brother," he said. "Don't. Mokuba loved you. The bond between the two of you is as strong as I have ever seen. The only time you will truly fail your brother, is when you convince yourself that you have failed, and give up."
I looked at him for a moment, then nodded.
"I wish you the best of luck, Seto. I truly hope Shadi can help you."
Again, I nodded. "Thank you, Pegasus."
He turned away, and walked back toward his castle.