Warning:
Clex slash. Very tiny plot. No sex - sorry.

Disclaimer:
I don't own anything, not even the clothes on my back, let alone anything to do with "Smallville" or "Superman."

O limed soul, that struggling to be free
Art more enraged! Help, Angels! Make assay.
Bow, stubborn knees, and, heart with strings of steel,
Be soft as sinews of the new-born babe.
All may be well.

(Hamlet, III, iii.)

Happy Ending

Part One

Lex Luthor has been in Smallville almost three years now. I think I'm still his only friend. I don't think it's usual for people to become friends after one hits the other with a car, but neither of us is allowed to have friends in the usual way, so there you are.

Lex thinks Smallville is good for him. He thinks his life is getting better. Every time I see him, though, he seems a little bit darker. I think he carries more and more secrets around with him every week. At least I only have to keep one big one. Unfortunately, I think a lot of his secrets have to do with me and my family. Mine is only about me. He knows something about me, or at least has suspicions, but I don't know what they are. There was a time when he had it all figured out, but thanks to Lionel, Lex has no memory of that.

At first I was relieved when I realized Lex didn't remember finding out about me. I even tried to stop him from recovering the memories. I even went to Lionel for help, and I don't think Lex will ever forgive me for that – and why should he? I have no plans to forgive myself. I thought I was doing it for his own good, but Lionel and Lex both saw right through that rationalization. Later I wondered why it would really be so terrible if Lex found out. Then I remembered when I had told Pete. The problem was that I would not have told Pete if I hadn't been forced into it. The problem was Pete realizing I'd been lying to him as long as I'd known him. Pete had pretty much recovered from that – but would Lex?

Lex doesn't have friends. He's never had friends. I doubt he knows anything about getting over things and moving on. My father had had me convinced I was afraid of what Lex would do with the knowledge, but now I realize I'm more afraid of how it will affect Lex himself and my friendship with him. Which won't exist anymore if he finds out; I'm pretty sure about that.

I blame Lionel. In Biology, we talked about the "Nature versus Nurture" debate. Most of us are a product of the combination of our genes and our environment. From hearing Lex talk, it seems Lionel Luthor was his entire environment. Even now, Lionel is determined to control every aspect of Lex's life. Lex's business life consists of alternately trying to destroy and impress his father. Or both at once. Lionel has interfered with all of Lex's personal relationships too. I'll never understand why Lex doesn't just leave. Just walk away form Lionel and his head games. He could be his own person. He could be someone I could trust with my history.

Part Two

… Such were my thoughts as I sat in the Talon staring blankly at my Econ textbook, when Lex approached from behind me and seated himself at my table.

"Economics? Clark, you know that stuff's a pack of lies."

I managed a wan smile. "Yeah, 'The purpose of economic prediction is to make Astrology look good.' So you've told me, but it's still a required subject."

Lex leaned back in his chair. "You don't look like you're making a lot of progress."

"I'm not." I wasn't.

"Distracted?" He twisted around to see if Lana was working.

"She's not here. It's not her."

"Well," said Lex, "That's different. What is it?"

No time like the present. I plunged. "It's you."

Lex was taken aback. Actually, it's pretty rare to see Lex taken aback, and I ought to have been impressed with myself, but I was too nervous about the fight I figured we were probably about to have.

"Me? What about me?"

"You and your father. I was just wondering, you know, why you play his games. I mean, you're always saying you're not going to turn into him, but the way you're going, you will."

Lex sighed and leaned forward, so we could talk more quietly. "You know I don't have any choice, Clark. LuthorCorp is my future. I have to show my father I'm up to running it."

"You don't have to show him anything, Lex!" I was speaking too loudly; I dropped my voice. "You could leave. You have a degree, you have your own money from your trust fund – you don't need him or LuthorCorp. You could go into any business you wanted to. You just don't need him"

"It's not that simple, Clark. Even if I wanted to leave LuthorCorp, my father would find a way to bring me back. He's only ever been concerned with me in my capacity as his heir. He can't afford the time to train someone else as well as he's trained me. He'll never let me go; I'd have to fight him even for that. And frankly, I don't think I'm up to fighting for a chance to leave for a vague 'something else.' Or even a specific something else."

While I tried to think of an answer for that, he continued, "Which brings up another point: Running LuthorCorp is all I've ever seen myself doing. I think it's the only thing I've ever wanted to do. If not LuthorCorp, then my own corporation, which would make me just another target for my father."

"So Lex, is this one of those 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer' things?"

He laughed. "I suppose a lot of the time it is." I stared at him. He noticed. "I don't expect you to understand it, Clark. But just out of curiosity, don't you want to take over your father's business some day?"

"I – no, I – don't think so. I guess I imagined he'd sell it when he was too old."

"Then I guess you wouldn't understand it on that level either. I won't say free will is a total myth, but when you're a Luthor it's something you only read about. Are you done with your coffee?"

" – um – "

"Good, come back to the mansion with me and I'll give you some better economics material. Honestly – 'supply and demand,' my ass."

"Uh… Okay… that'll be good, because I don't have enough homework to completely obliterate my weekend yet."

Part Three

Lex loaded me down with a pile of books I wasn't going to read and a list of websites to look at. He seems to have forgotten that all they want from students is accurate regurgitation of the text. But if I ever wanted to write a really subversive article on the subject, I'd be all set. I wonder if he was trying to test my strength by seeing how many books I can carry.

For the next hour or so we played pool. Eventually, I tried to bring up my worries about him again.

"Are you going to Metropolis this week?"

"Thursday," he said, not looking up from his shot. "Hopefully only for one night."

"Hopefully?"

"Well, it depends on whether my dad finds out I've gone behind his back with the latest merger. If he does, I'll have to stay there to watch for his next move. Five, corner pocket."

"Come on, Lex, this is ridiculous! You're twenty-three. Shouldn't you be doing something more … fun?"

He smirked. "More fun than playing pool with you? I'd be hard-pressed."

"More fun than subverting your father's latest Machiavellian scheme for the sake of gratification of your Oedipal complex."

"Clark!" He missed his shot. "I'm shocked. Where did you learn those words?"

"From you, I think."

"Oh, god, I really am corrupting a minor."

"Lex, I'm trying to be serious."

Lex set down his cue. "I know, Clark. I've been listening. I'll think about what you've been saying, but not right now. Can you just let it go for a while?"

"Sorry. I'll drop it."

Lex nodded and gestured for me to take my shot. I took a moment to line it up and –

- completely missed, as Lionel crashed into the room. His hair was wild, even for Lionel, his eyes were firey, and for a second I had a normal human instinct to hide under the table. Nearly-visible sparks radiated form him as he brandished a sheet of paper at Lex threateningly.

"Lex, what is the meaning of this?" he demanded.

"Clark," Lex said calmly, "Could you please excuse us for a few minutes?" I was already leaving the room.

Outside the door I paused momentarily, wondering if I should stay, but realized there is really no danger from Lionel when you can see him. It's when he's absent that you have to watch out.

I exited the mansion as quickly as I could while remaining visible. Behind me I heard Lionel snarling and Lex answering him in a loud, accusatory voice, one I'd frequently heard him use when under attack. I determinedly ignored my super-hearing, which did not help. Once I was past the gardens, I put on some real speed and was back in my loft in moments.

Part Four

The rest of the afternoon I concentrated on repairing the fences. I made sure to finish before Dad was home from the feed store, so he couldn't insist on helping with it. Then I made an attempt at helping with dinner while Mom tried to shoo me out and Dad lectured on my on why I should have waited for him to work on the fences. I had managed to put Lex and Lionel reasonably far from my mind by the time the phone rang during dinner.

"Clark. It's Lex. Pick up. Come on, you know I wouldn't call at this time if it weren't important."

Dad glowered at me; Mom gave me her patented look of concern. I grabbed the phone and went to the next room.

"Okay, I'm here. Your dad didn't just leave, did he?"

"No, he left a couple of hours ago. I've been out driving around since then. My agenda for the merger situation is shot. I've spent the last two hours thinking of ways to salvage the situation. Then I started thinking about what you were saying – "

"You mean about leaving?"

"Suddenly it seemed so simple to just forget it. Just get the hell out of Dodge."

"Huh? Dodge is like four hours away from here, Lex …"

"It's a figure of – Oh, you're kidding." I hadn't been kidding. Sometimes I really don't know what Lex is talking about. "But then I wondered, if I just let it go now, will I spend the rest of my life wishing I'd outdone him one last time? I don't think it's in my nature to just get over things, you know?"

"Well, maybe you've never really tried. You've always had your dad goading you on. You don't know what you might be capable of away from him."

Lex was quiet for a moment. Finally he said, "How do you leave the thing that defines you?"

In a fit of recklessness, I was sorely tempted to tell him about what "defines" me and how "leaving" it isn't an option. If there was ever going to be a time for that, however, this wasn't it, so I tamped down that thought. "Do you … really think Lionel defines you?"

Another long silence.

"Thanks, Clark. I'm gonna go try to eat something. I'll call you tomorrow."

Part Five

The next afternoon I stopped by the mansion after school (ostensibly to pick up the Econ material I'd left behind) to see if Lex had made any decisions.

Lionel was there again. I heard the war games before I was even through the front door. Instead of leaving, I asked Dominic to tell Lex I was out in the gardens. This time I wanted to see the aftermath. I wanted to justify my conviction that Lex should leave Lionel and LuthorCorp and never come back.

Never come back.

It hit me then that if I succeeded in convincing Lex to go, I would never see him again. He'd never be able to return to Smallville, or Metropolis. And if he wanted to remain untraceable, he'd never contact me by phone or email either. It occurred to me finally that I was telling him to end our friendship, something I wasn't willing to risk by telling him who I am.

A feeling of vertigo passed over me, and I found I'd sat on a stone bench, hard enough to crack it. Why hadn't I thought of that? And did it matter? If I really wanted what was best for him, I'd still want him to leave, right? That's right, isn't it? And maybe he wouldn't really need to stay totally off Lionel's radar. Maybe he was wrong, and Lionel would just let him go. We could still write and talk then. There'd be no career for him in Smallville, but he could probably come back for visits. It could –

Lex came storming out of the house and I stood up to meet him. His face was paled and tight and his fists were clenched. "Get your books. I'm going to Metropolis tonight. I'll drop you home first."

He turned and started back towards the house, but I caught his sleeve. "Lex, don't go to Metropolis. Get out of this game. Get out of Kansas. Go to … Toronto or something."

"No. I can't let him get away with this. I have to – "

"Lex, PLEASE." He finally stopped and gave me his attention. "This is a choice. You don't have to take a set course. You can get out. Whatever Lionel's doing, he'll get what's coming to him with or without you. He has plenty of enemies. And, you know, bad Karma."

He smiled a little at that. "Karma, huh? I wonder how mine looks."

"Probably better without another vengeance quest on it," I pointed out.

He stood thinking for a moment. Then he clapped one hand to my shoulder. "All right, Clark. I'm going to try it your way. I'm going away. But you know that if he finds me, I'll be back to fighting him, and it will be worse." He was watching me for a reaction. I only nodded. "You stay out of his way. He'll think you can find me." I nodded again.

He was still watching me, looking for something else. Then with a hint of his old smugness he put his other hand to my face, then reached up and kissed me. It was a long, soft kiss, and it was casual, as if we did this all the time. I couldn't think over the strange buzzing in my head, but I discovered I was moving my hands to pull him closer.

Lex moved his lips to my ear and murmured, "I won't be back.." He turned away and strode toward the garage and his Porsche.

END

Author's Notes:

Special thanks to my Beta Reader, Celtic.

This is not only my first fan fic ever; it's also the first fiction of any kind that I've ever written for public consumption. Therefore, feedback would be very much appreciated.

On TV, people say each other's names a lot more often in conversation than anyone does in real life. I feel silly writing like that, so I tried to compromise, to get something close enough to TV dialogue to keep the tone of the show, and close enough to real-life dialogue to avoid sounding completely scripted. I hoped it worked.

"The purpose of economic prediction is to make Astrology look good" is a famous quote, but I can't find anything on who said it. I used to keep a notebook of useful quotes, but it seems to have been lost in my travels, and the upshot is I remember a lot of quotes without their contexts. If anyone knows, please tell me and I'll update it.

I'm told that the fictional city Metropolis is based on Toronto, so I had to reference Toronto.

"Get the hell out of Dodge" is an American expression for leaving a bad situation, but it also literally refers to the "Wild West" days of Dodge City, Kansas. I don't know where in Kansas Smallville is supposed to be, but I figure everything in Kansas is about four hours from everything else if you drive at the right speed.